critiqu

hufflebee  asked:

228!

228.  “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Magnus was lying at the door frame, looking at his boyfriend, who was deeply involved with a book he was reading. He looked up, concerned.

“What? No,” Alec answered, but he wasn’t looking like he was clueless, Magnus could perfectly see it. That’s why he didn’t drop the subject, even though it wasn’t that important. He was just curious. “Something happened?”

“No, it’s just that I can’t find my eyeliner,” he answered. “Do you know anything about this, Alexander?”

There, he thought, when Alec closed his book. He was looking like he had seen a ghost or something even scarier. Magnus could tell that he’s fighting with his thoughts and he can’t really say what he wants to say, so he gave him time.

“So…” he began. “There’s a possibility, that… I used it? And forgot to put it in right place? Or… Or something like that.”

Warlock suspected it, to be honest. He knew how Alec was looking at him when he was applying his makeup. He suggested once or twice that his boyfriend could try it too, but he refused every time, so Magnus decided to not push on him. It wasn’t necessary.

“Don’t be mad at me, please. I should ask or something, I know, but…”

“No, darling, stop,” Magnus said, walking to the bed. He sat next to Alec, smiling softly. “There’s nothing wrong with that. What’s mine it’s yours and it’s even not about that you took that without asking me first. I don’t want you to feel ashamed of what you want.”

For a minute Alec was looking like he was about to explode because of his embarrassment, but now he was calmer. He put his book away, his eyes only for Magnus.

“I know, but… Well, it doesn’t matter, anyway. I suck at it.” he laughed, but Magnus wasn’t laughing with him. He really wanted his boyfriend to feel comfortable, not like he was not supposed to do something because he wasn’t perfect at it.

“No, of course, it matters, Alexander,” he answered. “Look, I can teach you some tricks if you want? If you won’t feel good, we can stop, but I think it can be fun, what do you say?”

“Uh, why not?” Alec smiled.

Magnus smiled too and then kissed his beautiful, giant dork.

searching for lgbt+ beta readers

I am currently searching for a (native english speaker) beta reader/critique partner that is a member of or at least familiar with the lgbt+ community. My story is a ya contemporary romance about a straight boy and a transgender girl plus most of the side characters are lgbt. If anyone is interested they can message me and I can tell them more about the plot, but basically there’s a lot of cuteness and happiness- nobody dies, nobody is raped, none of the tropes that might deter you from enjoying such a story. It is just a normal internet-age romance with a lot of positivity and support.

(please signal boost this even if you’re not interested yourself. I really want to make my story better)


UPDATE: thanks to everyone who reblogged it I now have a beta reader and a sensitivity reader. However, I will not take this post down yet because sensitivity readers (transgender or gender non-conforming individuals) are always appreciated.

so last night i was rereading house proud by astolat, aka the best harry potter fic there ever ever was, & then i started having Thoughts about hp wizards being the descendants of the fae cuz it just makes!! so much sense!!!

i am perpetually disappointed by so much of jkr’s world-building but this in particular bothers me so much cause like

she placed so much emphasis on blood lines & ~purity but the only ever used it as a shite allegory for racism

u know who gives a thousand shits about blood lines? the fae. u know who goes to great lengths to exist separately from humans? the fae. u know whose society is split into groups based on personality? the fae!!

the evolution of wizarding society makes so much more sense!! if u interpret them as being fae adapting to the changing world!!!

Pasta Emoji Ratings

A classic, nice simple sauce, would eat this no problem. Probably tastes pure and the kids would love it. 7/10

Fun, simple, but dangerously close to Mac n Cheese with that level of orange saturation. They would probably steal your labeled food from the fridge, simply shameful. Not sure what the purple spots are either, not sure if i’d eat this one. 5/10


Shameful, it appears to be a few noodles left on a plate, what a waste. Would not eat someone’s leftovers. 0/10

Elegant, simple, modern. Reminiscent of a pizza, which is a fresh new way to approach the subject. The stray noodle is a little worrying, but for the most part they’re a hardworking, well put together pasta. Would hang this up in my modern art gallery. 8/10

Not sure how to feel about this one. While the sauce is one of the best renditions I’ve seen, beautiful detail, the rest of the dish is lacking. The leaves look dangerous, like those delinquents that try to roll with the pure kids, but we’re onto them. I love the symmetry of the three noodles rising from the sauce, would eat them for sure. Not so sure about the rest. 6/10

Fake. This obviously canned pasta is trying to play itself off as genuine, unforgivable. While the taste is probably fine, a pasta you’d let your daughter hang out with, it doesn’t excuse the fact that it’s a filthy liar. would not eat for fear of my health. 2/10 

A very small noodle, good with young children, tries their best at all times. It has the perfect portion of sauce for such a tiny thing, and it deserves all it can get. I would eat this, but gently, as not to intimidate it. 9/10

Magnificent! Tasty! A real winner of a dish! The attention to detail and shading simply astonishes me. This dish is to die for, and the kind you’d bring home to your mother. Simply lovely, would definitely eat. 10/10

This is just abhorrent, not tasty at all. The choice of thick white noodles surrounded by a yellow liquid, while an interesting take, is incredibly inaccurate and tasteless. Would not eat, especially with that trident thing. 1/10

flavourless, an absolute bore of a dish. White I appreciate the detail of the cell shaded noodles, they lack charisma and courage. Would be a true pure friend, someone you can rely on, but very easily manipulated and a momma’s boy. Need’s more saturation if it want’s to roll with the big boys. 4/10. 

I feel like this is a failed attempt at what HTC excelled at. The abstract look they’re going for just doesn’t execute well at all. And that black border feel’s very threatening and hostile, as if I’m not allowed to eat it. The kind of pasta who has problems with it’s masculinity. Probably wouldn’t eat. 3/10

Why the fuck is there chocolate syrup on my pasta. 0/10

Bravery is more powerful than perfection
Is this something you sense?
Your tangled thoughts being silenced
Is worth not taking a chance?


Bravery is more difficult than perfection
Is this something you find?
Painting the entire canvas
Is harder than colouring between the lines


Bravery is more honest than perfection
Is this something you rejoice?
While the world demands perfection
Being brave frees your voice


Bravery is more creative than perfection
Is this something you know?
The fear of failure stilling your pen
Keeps your inner world from being shown


Bravery is more beautiful than perfection 
Is this something you see?
Facing the world as your flawed self
Is the most beautiful you can be

—  Bravery > Perfection
youtube

Chris Evans Debuts Trailer for New Movie DENNIS

When people criticize Hannigram as a toxic ship I’m just like…have you ever read literature? Have you ever looked at art? Have you ever watched film? Art isn’t always supposed to be nice, pretty, and wrap things up in perfect little bows of how ideal life and relationships should be. Art can be complicated, raise moral questions, show the dark side of humanity and love.

I feel like there is this general misunderstanding with like 18 year old kids on this website of how to engage with complex art and representation. Critique and analysis are essential. But I don’t understand this imposition that creative works be positive, healthy, and safe. Like that’s not how art works??

On Fanfiction Commenting

I have been both a consumer and a producer of fanfiction since I was probably far too young to be doing either, so here are some of my tips on commenting on fics:

  • Comment. Please. Comments motivate authors to write.
  • Incoherently rambling is okay. One word comments are okay. Smiley faces are okay. I guarantee getting a notification that someone commented AAAAAAAH :D on a fic will make a writer smile.
  • Really long comments are awesome. You want to talk about your favorite scene? Go for it. You want to talk about how much you like a character? Please. Explain how well you think this writer fits within canon, or is better than canon, or gave you a new headanon.
  • Talk about how it made you feel.
  • If you read something a second time, or a third time, or a fifth time, tell them. Writers love to hear that. Tell them when you stay up all night to finish a fic. Tell them that you cried. Tell them that you laughed.
  • Be careful with critiques. Some authors are cool with them, some aren’t, but regardless, if you have a critique of the story, be gentle, be kind, compliment them too, remember that they wrote this and provided it to you for free, and consider not sending it directly to them.
  • If you think they got something particularly touchy (sexuality, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, etc.) wrong, first check to see if they say they are that thing that you think they got wrong. If they are, don’t say anything. People are allowed to interpret themselves however they want. If they aren’t AND YOU ARE, you can consider gently letting them know, preferably with thanks for attempting representation and maybe a link to a resource that might help them (unless they’re being malicious or have a particularly egregious error, in which case don’t thank them for representing you).
  • If there is one typo or mistake, let them know. if there are five, don’t. Most writers don’t want to go searching through their story to fix every typo they made at 3 am, but one thing is wrong–particularly if they wrote the wrong name–it’s not that much work to fix. They might not fix it, but you’re not putting much of an extra burden on them by letting them know.
  • If you read 50k words of a fic and then comment a dissertation on all the reasons you hated it, maybe consider just…stopping reading it, instead. You didn’t pay for it. You are gaining nothing from the cost of time of reading it. Go away. Also I will tell my friends about how ridiculous you are, and we will laugh about you.
  • Don’t share your life story. 9 times out of 10, we don’t care they you are uncomfortable with the idea of polyamory because your SO cheated on you and you think polyamory is like cheating and you don’t judge anyone else for participating in polyamory but you wouldn’t do it personally, so please, don’t tell us. (Fun fact, that’s a true story.)
  • “I would love to read more (of this story/of this world/of your works)” is fine (unless they explicitly say they won’t write more). “Have you thought about writing more” is also fine. “Hey, it’s been a while, I love your story and hope you post more” is pretty okay. “You need to write more” is a little iffy. “UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE” is kind of aggressive. “Why haven’t you updated, you terrible person” is way out of line.
  • Don’t be mean.
Because there's still people who say this...

Lars’ descendance and culture has not magically gotten erased because of him turning pink. Lars is still the same Filipino kid he’s always been. He’s just pink. And for those that are saying it’s whitewashing, whitewashing is not only making a previously POC character white, but erasing all of that character’s previously established culture. Lars turning pink is not whitewashing, nor racist. Again, he’s still the same Filipino kid we’ve gotten to know.

Originally posted by sadiebarrigaofficial

Originally posted by aquamaspleen

The Problem with Dany

If I had to pick a character who was the most difficult to talk about in this series, it would probably be Daenerys Targaryen.  The intersection of every single conflict and perspective–in world and modern–about her is one that is almost impossible to address without sidelining one element of it.

That her arc relies intensely white saviorism; depictions of the Dothraki are laden with racist tropes; her experience in Slaver’s Bay harkens to (but does not perfectly mirror) white conquest in the 19th century.  This pairs uncomfortably with the fact that she is 13-16 years old (I’m focusing predominantly on book!Daenerys in this–if you are here for show!Daenerys proceed with that in mind), a child sold into sex slavery, a rape victim, and someone who believes firmly and acts upon the belief that any society that relies upon slavery is not society.  As a woman in Martin’s historically inaccurate misogynistic world, she confronts challenges that are designed by the creator of the series to confront her womanhood; as a Targaryen/Valyrian/Westerosi far from her home and without the resources of that home, she is left with little choice but to look forward.

Creator-Character-Consumer

Before even touching on the content of A Song of Ice and Fire, a point that causes trouble, right out of the gate, is where do “problems” with Daenerys arise?  When, for example, does responsibility lie with a character, and when with the architect of her story?  Add into that–when does the responsibility lie with neither character, nor creator, but with instead the fans who are discussing the media in question?

All this is not to absolve Daenerys of whatever sins exist within her storyline. There are choices that the character makes that are reprehensible and for which the ultimate responsibility does lie with her; however it is also to say that many of the things that Daenerys is loathed for are decisions that lie instead at Martin’s feet.

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