She slipped the fur cape from her shoulders, removed her fox-fur hat and, with a swift movement of the head, tousled her hair – long, full locks the colour of fresh chestnuts, with a sheen of gold, her pride and identifying characteristic.
Ciri sighed with admiration. Triss smiled, pleased by the effect she’d had. Beautiful, long, loose hair was a rarity, an indication of a woman’s position, her status, the sign of a free woman, a woman who belonged to herself. - Blood of Elves.

The Revenge Nudge

Background: My supervisor has been a bitch to me for no reason for several months. I don’t know why, and neither do my coworkers, who generally like me. She criticises my work even though it is average, never gives me credit for my ideas but instead waits and then pretends it was her idea, and other bullshit. I usually don’t care but after s few months of this she got under my skin.  Note for later, I pass her house on the way to work, she lives alone in a condo.

Revenge: it was yesterday, I was heading home for the day. Tired, bored, moseying towards my car. I hear the familiar brisk click-click of her shoes behind me. She passes me on the sidewalk, even slightly shoving me. Instead of apologising, she gives some remark along the lines that I walk even slower than I think.

I stopped dead in my tracks, dumbfounded by her rudenes while she walked on. Her phone rang, so she clawed it out of her purse and started talking loudly and laughing. She went on towards her car. That’s when I saw them. Her hasty phone answering had swept her keys out of her purse. House, office, car all in one bunch. There on the curb.

I acted on my lust for vengeance. I took three small steps. Neck suddenly sweating, heart pounding, split second decision. I did it. With my foot I gave the keys the little Nudge of Revenge that they needed… to slide off the curb and down a storm drain. As I pulled out of our lot with my blood rushing in my ears she was still on her phone, her purse rummaging getting more flustered.

I’ve been at the office a few hours. Her car was still in the lot when I got here this morning. She came in late with murder in her eyes. She doesn’t seem to suspect me. I’m thrilled and super nervous at the same time.

UPDATE: this is what I’ve overheard so far. As for new keys, a friend of hers across town had a spare for her condo, and she had a spare for the car at home,  so minor hassle. But it is her last spare for the car, risky… and dealerships around here charge $100-200 depending on make and year for an extra key. Heh!

Now, the office key is a horse of a different color. Rumor around the coffee pot is that she might be on the hook for replacing every lock for the exterior doors. Property manager is going to talk to the insurance company today. If they say this violates the liability, oh man… certified locksmiths, heavy-duty security locks, new keys for entire staff… looks like your vacation will be in-state this year, bitch!

I haven’t been this productive in weeks. Mainly because I keep my face buried in work so that nobody will see my smug grin.

I Can’t Help It - Archie x Reader

I took some liberties with it, I hope you don’t mind! I made Reggie a bit of a sleaze too lol. And I made it as gender neutral as possible! Hope you enjoy!

Originally posted by kevinkeller

“Arch?” You frown, peering into the supposedly empty classroom, “What are you doing… here?”

He steps into view, a guilty look upon his face. How was he going to explain this to you?

“I was just… I left a book behind,” he shrugs, attempting to sidestep you into the corridor.

“Nice try, Andrews,” you move to block his path, “I know when you’re lying,”

Keep reading


Pairing: Jared x (Murphy) reader

Request: Murphy!Reader (Zoe’s Twin) has Jared over for the weekend bc parents are away, Conner is at Evan’s, & Zoe is at Alana’s. They spend the weekend getting freaky. Next Monday, Conner and Zoe see she’s wearing one of Jared’s shirts and flannels, has hickies, & looks very pleased with herself. She shuts down their scolding by saying “Neither of you can judge me Bc after seeing Evan & Alana in chemistry, as well as both your necks, I can say for a fact no Murphy child was a saint this weekend.

Warnings: centres around the idea of sex

I’m all for jokes between Murphy siblings. And the idea that their relationships comprise of healthy, loving sex. 

Also this was a bit rushed but I wanted to get a fic out for you guys today, so I hope you enjoy it


You sat up, ready to face the day, and looked over to your boyfriend who was gathering up his clothes. His haired was messed up in that gorgeous way and the hickeys that trailed down his chest and stomach where they dipped under the waistband of the underwear he was just tugging on reminding you of your weekend of bliss.  

Your parents had been away for the weekend and both of your siblings had been out, so you and your boyfriend had used this rare occasion of an empty Murphy house to your advantage. You’d tried different things, different positions - some of them successful, some of them not so much - and you both felt well and truly satisfied.

“We’re going to be late” you warned as he started kissing you again, trying to re-live some of your intimate moments before you had to go to school. 

“Well you’re the one who couldn’t get enough of this” he said wiggling his eyebrows and dancing with his shoulders, “all weekend. You want me. Bad” he said in a matter of fact way.

“True, but that,” you laughed motioning to his movements, “is not a turn on”. 

“You wasn’t saying that last night. As I recall it was more like ‘Oh Jared, oh kiss me Jared, take me, hold me in your big strong arms’” he mocked in a high-pitched voice, laughing. 

“I do not talk like that!” you said throwing a pillow at him before walking into your ensuite bathroom. 

“Shit, I’m going to need a while to cover all of these” you breathed, looking at the hickeys that formed a beautiful, abstract canvas for Jared’s art from your neck down. From your room, you heard Jared suggest that you could just skip today and stay in bed. You considered it until he burst into the bathroom to show you a meme he’d found which really killed the mood. 

You were the first one home after a rather uneventful day at school. You’d removed your makeup and the little patches, which showed you were claimed by Jared, were bared to the world, and you couldn’t be happier about it. 

You were making a drink in the kitchen, dressed in one of Jared’s graphic tees and his flannel pyjama pants, when your brother walked in. You hadn’t seen him or your sister all weekend as you were engaged with a very busy schedule which comprised purely of your boyfriend. He noticed you with a smirk. 

“Didn’t think you’d be back yet - thought you couldn’t get enough of Kleinman. All you two do is have sex. You know I can see your hickeys right?” He said pointing to your neck. At least he couldn’t see the ones which trailed down your breasts and stomach. And that one between your thighs. And the bruises to match. “It would be less obvious if you had written ‘I’ve had sex with Jared’ on your forehead” he laughed. You rolled your eyes, used to your brothers teasing. 

“Its not like you’re any better. I could practically hear Evan whimpering from here” you mocked, knowing your brother’s activities this weekend hadn’t differed much from your own, even if you couldn’t see the physical evidence of it. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Connor spat back, his smile falling. 

Zoe walked in, and placed her backpack and guitar case on the floor. “Whats going on?” She questioned, but neither of you answered her. 

“Oh don’t lie to me. I saw him in Chemistry, his polo buttoned up all the way to the top, but unfortunately not quite covering those hickeys you’d left. I know what you two get up when you say you’re at the orchard - no one is that obsessed with trees” You smiled. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Zoe smirk as she poured herself a drink. 

“Fuck off! At least I can walk without looking like I’ve spend the whole weekend getting laid - you’ve been walking funny all day” he shot back. Your mouth hung open. You might have been a bit sore down there (Jared was very well-endowed, ok) but you had definitely made sure to hide it. It must have been a lucky guess on your brother’s behalf. 

Zoe laughed into her drink as Connor looked far too pleased with his joke. 

“Excuse me, like you can talk, Alana looked worse than Evan. She was wearing a turtle neck in the middle of summer! And I walked in on her trying to conceal her neck in the bathroom - why would she be doing that if you’re little miss innocent?” You asked turning your attention to your sister whose cheeks were tinged with pink. “I’d take a look in the mirror before you try criticising me” you scold, the hickeys across your sister’s collarbone becoming visible as she moved. 

“I’m surprised you can even talk that much considering how you’ve probably been choking on Jared’s dick this whole weekend” she blurted out. 

“Why THE FUCK did you say that?” Connor shouted, horrified at the thought. You just stood there stunned, Zoe not normally the one to say something so brash. 

“I mean he’s probably upstairs right now isn’t he?” Zoe teased. 

“No” you snapped. “Maybe” you admitted with a whisper.

Your voices got louder as the three of you threw insults at one another, but not one of you heard the door open or your parents come walking in, back from their weekend break. Nor did you hear a half-naked Jared, intrigued by the shouting, walk down the stairs to unexpectedly meet your parents with more hickeys than either Cynthia or Larry had ever hoped to see. 

“Oh hi Mr and Mrs Murphy, how was your trip?” Jared smiled, at the same time you screamed from the kitchen “We like to have sex, whats so bad about that?”

anonymous asked:

so basically according to you it'd be ok for me, a lesbian, to run a blog called "the bisexual experience" despite not being bisexual, or what about "the-trans-label" as a cis person? the word lesbian is a word for women who are EXCLUSIVELY attracted to other women. i don't see why you can't just change your url if you want to reblog straight porn. it continues the society wide idea that lesbians all secretly like men too. even though you're not a lesbian, your blog is called that.

I’m getting really angry now. This is ridiculous. I’ve been dating girls and sleeping with girls exclusively since I was 14, not that I need to justify my ‘qualifiations’ for the URL I have. I’ve explained so many times why my blog is called the lesbian label and how it isn’t meant to be reflective of me but more a reflection of the labels people impose upon us. Like you are with me right now.
And also, can I just say that just because someone reblogs something doesn’t mean they are that. Just because I reblog something straight doesn’t mean I’m straight or that I want that. It means I appreciate that post for what it is and I’m reblogging it. Because i like women doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate other kinds of love. It also doesn’t mean I want that for myself, I can appreciate someone or something without wanting it. stop reading into everything I post and criticising me for it.
I have no desire to be with a boy, none at all. The only reason I don’t like defining myself as a lesbian is because at the end of the day I think we fall for who we fall for and I dont know what the future holds.And whether I was strictly 100% lesbian and only ever would consider being with a female or not, doesn’t change the fact I can still appreciate and reblog things that include males. For fuck sake, being a part of the queer community is all about inclusivity and open mindedness, not condemning people because they don’t fit the mould you want them to. There are different ways to be gay, none of them are any less valid than the other. There are different types of gay, none any less valid than the other. Yes I know what the word lesbian means but it’s not exactly like I’m promoting the hetrosexual agenda on my blog, almost everything I post is gay! I reblog pictures and art, some that are straight and that doesn’t change the validity of my sexual orientation or make me less gay because not all my posts are exclusively girl and girl. It just means I like the post. I’m not changing my URL because the word lesbian is in it. If you listen to me and how I made my URL you’d know why it is what it is. my whole life is about girls, I’m perfectly justified in naming it that. It’s a part of me, a part of how I came out, a part of how I found an escape on a website that for the most part (with the exception of messages like this) is about supporting and celebrating the differences in us and educating each other, building each other up, connecting through art across borders of all kinds, because at the end of the day we are all human beings worthy of love and respect.
Just because I’m gay in a different way to you and just because you might identify as a lesbian and for you that means all straight posts are gross and unworthy of being on your blog, doesn’t make me less gay. Sometimes posting something doesn’t mean I want that for me, it can be about objective appreciation. I’m honestly really sorry if I have offended anyone or you don’t get it or get what I’m saying. But please try to, please think about it for a moment. Please try to understand instead of criticise. And if you can’t understand what I’m saying then ok, you can either unfollow me cause that’s fine or just try to accept the fact that not everyone is going to feel the same way you do about porn, art, sexuality, life, etc so just shut up and respect it.

alluring touch || calum hood

requested: yes

word count: 3.9k+

synopsis: fuckboy!calum was your roommate and even though he is the embodiment of arrogance and late night stands, indulging into his charm is pretty hard to resist.

warning: mentions/suggestions of sex, suggestions of oral sex, foreplay

a/n: just a heads up, this is a gay writing piece. there is no particular reason as to why i wrote it as a gay piece other than in the moment, it felt right to make it. sorry to the anon who requested this if this isn’t what you expected as i did tweak it a bit. if you want a part 2, i can TRY and make a part 2 with actual smut. credits to the gif owner.

inspired by ‘New Bae’ - Vic Mensa

masterlist // writing prompt list

There is something about him that made everyone crave him. I don’t know if it was his smirk that just seemed to be forever planted on his face, the way he licked his lips teasing whoever his next victim was; to let them know that he could do so much more than moisturise his lips with that tongue, the way his arms looked so strong yet so inviting that if he were to trap you between his body and the wall, you wouldn’t mind; or maybe it was his whiskey almost onyx eyes that ironically shined brighter than any star that reels the people in. I honestly don’t know, but I don’t blame the hopeless for falling into his trap. He certainty knows how to get them good.

His parents should’ve named him ‘Dick’ considering it suits him very well and that’s the only head he uses to think with, but no. That’s not his name at all. He has a rather strong, masculine name that people just love to moan out. They call him ‘God’, but he honestly just prefers ‘Calum’, to make him seem more humble.

What a dick.

I rolled my eyes as I sat in our shared apartment, eating cereal on the couch, watching him escort the lovely and most likely closeted gay male, out the door. Once the door closed I cleared my throat, grabbing Calum’s attention.

“3rd guy this week, Calum and shit it is only Tuesday.” I said as Calum smirked at me.

“Wanna be the 4th?” he winked, strolling towards me before sitting down.

I scoffed in disgust as I rolled my eyes once more, getting up from my spot immediately after he sat down.

“Yeah how about no.” I answered, drinking the leftover milk from my cereal before putting it in the sink to wash later.

“Oh right, because you wouldn’t want to cheat on your little boyfriend, huh?” Calum said, stretching his arms over the entire couch back and letting his arms rest on top of them.

“Again… he is not my boyfriend.” I said with annoyance practically oozing from my response as I made him his usual cup of coffee. Calum liked his coffee the way he liked his men; super sweet, light and give him enough energy to be in control of everything. Calum and I have a weird love-hate dynamic between us. I hate him. He loves me. I criticise everything that he does. He constantly flirts with me. I make him coffee and he helps me study for my finals. It’s extremely odd, but it is how we work.

I carried his coffee mug with both of my hands as I steadily walked over to the couch, making sure not to spill a drop. As I slowly bend forward to put the coffee cup on the table, I felt his eyes staring into my behind. I looked over my shoulder and glared at him. However, he didn’t care that I just caught him checking out my ass, in fact it made him stare at it even more, adjusting his body slightly as his eyes trailed from my ass and finally meeting with my eyes.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Checking my ass out. There is more to me than just my ass, Calum.”

“Oh I know. There’s your pretty little mouth too and that tongue too.”

My jaw dropped as I quickly stood up straight, clearing my throat. A sudden heat rushed up to my face as I tried to calm down. Calum smirked as he sat up properly and leaned over to grab his coffee.

“Thanks for the coffee, Y/N.” Calum said, winking at me.

Keep reading

Ben: happy 19th birthday Malek
Malek: thank you.. why are you here.. didn’t you have detention for egging someone’s car
Ben: wow. Here I am wishing you a happy birthday because you’re the oldest out of everyone
Ben: and you criticise me for skipping detention
Malek: you can’t do that. Go back to school
Ben: wow. I even told Kells to bake you a cake.
Ben: go do your taxes then, old man


It was Eskel’s behaviour which was most unlikely; he got up, approached the enchantress, bent down low, took her hand and kissed it respectfully. She swiftly withdrew her hand. Not so as to demonstrate her anger and annoyance but to break the pleasant, piercing vibration triggered by the witcher’s touch. Eskel emanated powerfully. More powerfully than Geralt. - Blood of Elves.

  • [After another failed plot]
  • Tiger Claw: [under his breath] I bet Yoshi could’ve done it.
  • Shredder: [venomously] What... was that... you said?
  • Tiger Claw: Nothing. I’m just saying-
  • Shredder: [Throws a vase at him] STOP CRITICIZING ME! That’s all my father ever did was criticise me! It was always 'Yoshi' this or 'Yoshi' that or 'Saki, why can’t you be more like your brother YOSHI?!?!' [Throws a shuriken at a picture of Hamato Yoshi on the wall]

anonymous asked:

Completely agree. I don't understand the major praise. At one point he says they were listening to Louis' album songs and they were modest and fit his 'underdog' status. (Or something along those lines). How is that in any way a good way to market him? And the headlines about him being the worst in 1D? I'm not so mad at Louis' direct quotes but more the way they've organized the article with their headlines. Also the unnecessary updates on his smoking habit throughout? Odd thing to focus on.

I’ve been discussing/debating my take on this article this at length with @vocabularryonthemind on and off for the past 32 hours or so…because when we discuss we DISCUSS

I will be completely honest with you. I read the article, fell asleep, woke up at 4:22 in the morning, kept thinking about it, and then wrote this post about it circa 4:58. 

There was something about the article that just didn’t sit well with me. And then I started to think about how random it was that they were using The Guardian, and realised that the only other article I could remember about One Direction from that newspaper was one that was equally odd to me. As it turns out…they were both written by the same person


And it isn’t that I dislike Tom Lamont’s writing style, it’s just that it’s very focused on Tom Lamont’s experience with whoever he’s interviewing, much more so with the One Direction interview as opposed to the Louis interview, but when it came to his personal view on the situation for the most part I was like

Which I realise is ironic as I sit here and write about what I think about it, but this is literally me giving my opinion on someone else’s opinion. The difference between us is that he’s paid for his opinion. I imagine a conversation with Tom and myself would be like 

Now, given the reaction to the article, it is very hard for me to criticise this marketing tactic, given that the reaction from the general public/non-fandom audience has been overwhelmingly positive. 

I have absolutely no issue with what Louis said in this article, I agree that it is a refreshingly honest and relatively narrative-free piece, with mentions of girlfriends and fatherhood being largely in the footnotes. However, I find it incredibly hard to believe that Louis has been put in a dire situation in terms of his place in the music industry. To insinuate that his place in this situation is to merely sit around waiting for One Direction to get back together is almost insulting. 

Even if we were to say, okay Louis is 5/5 out of the members of One Direction, he’s still the 5th ranked member of ONE DIRECTION. Which is a hell of a lot more than almost 100% of the world has to say for themselves. Not to mention the member credited with the most songwriting credits. 

I did love the parts of the interview that came across as genuinely Louis, but anyone can do a basic Wikipedia search to then add to his dialogue something along the lines about, “Tomlinson may be the most under-appreciated member of One Direction but he is by no means the laziest…credited with writing 38 of the songs from their five albums, and the second member to have a number one single on his first solo venture…blah blah blah.” It didn’t have to paint this, “Well…let’s see what’s going to happen, best of luck to this kid…” image of him. There is no way that I am going to believe that as 1/5 of One Direction any of them are at any kind of disadvantage here unless Simon Cowell is out to personally victimise them. And if there’s anyone that doesn’t need to pull big names into the studio to write with them, it’s Louis. Louis is a big name that other people pull into the studio to write with them. And that’s why I’m super annoyed by this narrative. 

I don’t give a baker’s fuck if Louis is chain smoking. If someone spent a day with me they’d probably be like, “She was drinking wine at 11:45 am…” so I’m hardly one to harp on people about vices. 

I think the chain smoking and details like that definitely humanised him. Anyone who’s seen any pap pictures of him knows he smokes, so I don’t mind the bits of detail that knocked Louis off of a boyband pedestal. I mind the implication that he’s somehow being painted as someone who has the odds against them when Louis should have nothing but support and reassurance as he’s about to do something that is hard as fuck. He has an immense fanbase telling him that he’s good enough, we don’t need some random journo who’s met him twice telling the world, “Well….we’ll see.” 

And that’s how I see it. 

anonymous asked:

People criticise me for not labelling myself and they are confused because I used to use labels. I just want to be me and I'm low-key also scared because my family disagree with being LGBT and I don't want to put myself in that position. Is it okay that I don't?

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Your labels are your decision - and if you decide to not use any labels at all, for any reason, that’s a valid decision! 

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not using labels. You are human, that’s label enough. People tend to forget that labels are all about expressing yourself in a way that’s comfortable for the individual person - not about what other people want. 

If you prefer to use no labels, then that’s what best for you. Nobody else gets to decide what’s best for you. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom