critical unit

Guerrilla Girls, [no title], from Guerrilla Girls Talk Back, 1985–’90

Monster Hunter: World - Fact Sheet

GAMEPLAY OVERVIEW 
The latest entry in the critically acclaimed 40 million unit selling action RPG series, Monster Hunter: World introduces a living, breathing ecosystem in which players take on the role of a hunter that seeks and slays ferocious beasts in heart-pounding battles. Venture on quests alone or with up to three other hunters in a newly designed online drop-in multiplayer system which allows cross-region cooperative play between Japan and the West, uniting the global player base for the first time ever. Monster Hunter: World will also be the first game in the series with a worldwide simultaneous launch window and is planned for release on PlayStation® 4 computer entertainment system and Xbox One in early 2018. A PC release will follow at a later date.

Monster Hunter: World sees players gear up to venture on quests to battle against fearsome monsters, progressively improving their hunting abilities as they play. Loot collected from fallen foes can be used to create new equipment and armor upgrades as players seamlessly move across map areas that comprise the living ecosystems. The landscape and its diverse inhabitants play a critical role as players strategically use the surrounding environment to their advantage. Hunters must use their cunning and abilities to survive the intense and evolving fights as they battle to become the ultimate hunter! 

FEATURES
-Welcome to the new World:
Taking on the role of a hunter, players are tasked with going on a research expedition to a newly discovered continent known only as “new world” as they venture on quests to discover more about this mysterious land. 
-Living and breathing ecosystem: Utilize the surrounding environment and wildlife to your advantage. For example, pit monsters against one another to lure the main target creature to the right place, but be careful not to become hindered by the hazards they present.
-Global simultaneous release: For the first time in the Monster Hunter series the latest title will release within the same launch window and unite hunters across the world with cross-region cooperative play options.
-Online drop-in multiplayer: When the battle is too daunting to take on single-handedly, hail up to three other hunters to assist during quests by sending up a SOS flare to a worldwide server full of potential teammates.
-Hunt to craft new gear: Defeat monsters and collect loot from fallen foes to craft equipment and weapons styled after the monsters that have been slain. Selecting the right loadout can help exploit enemy weaknesses to gain an advantage in battle.
-Master the beasts: A variety of ferocious creatures inhabit the new world landscape including the series mainstay Rathalos and the all new Anjanath. Players can mount the monsters with the dynamic riding mechanic, allowing them to travel along the monster’s body and deliver locational damage.
-Seamless gameplay: Players and monsters can move from one map area to another freely and without loading screens whilst gameplay also dynamically transitions between night and day. 

“It's still a struggle to be okay with myself, but I feel more authentic now than when I was relying on external things to validate my identity. “

Submission by: @genderatheism

Currently 24, Washington,US

I never fit in with the other girls.  I have vague memories of wearing dresses and tights to daycare, but my mother tells me that around age 2 she showed me a dress to wear that day and I said, “No Mom, black jeans,” and never looked back.  I did have a dollhouse, but my favorite game was one I called Godzilla Meets the Dollhouse People, where the family would adopt a baby Godzilla that would grow up to either eat them or protect them, depending on the mood I was in.  My hair was long, but it was wild and untamed.  I played with both girls and boys, but usually in pretend games I would pretend to be a boy.  I would sometimes get teased by other kids, called a boy pretending to be a girl because no real girl would dress the way I did.  I knew the teasing would stop if I conformed, but that wasn’t worth it to me, so I endured. Basically, I was a classic tomboy.


It wasn’t until I got a little older that I started to really feel uncomfortable with being a girl.  I was introverted and spent a lot of time online where it was all “no girls on the internet” this and “get back in the kitchen” that. I didn’t have the words for it at the time, but I hated how my body was both an object of desire and something to be scrutinized in every detail.  I was called ugly because I didn’t style my hair or wear tight constricting clothes, but if I did do those things I would have been called a vapid slut.  This was around the time my dysphoria began to manifest.  I don’t know if I can separate whatever internal feelings I had about my body from the feelings brought on by external criticisms.  Just by existing I attracted unwanted attention, even when I hid everything I could under my biggest hoodie.  Even female pronouns felt grating on my ears—that “sh” sound symbolized my status as an object.  It wasn’t just a classification, it was a command.  “SH”e.  Sshh.  Sit down and shut up, like a good girl. It didn’t occur to me at the time that other girls also felt pressured to be something they aren’t, it seemed to come easily to them.  Clearly, the problem was with me, for not being like the other girls.  So I made an effort that lasted maybe a year or two.  I thought maybe, if I tried hard enough to force myself into the mold, I could learn to be okay with it.


I was 17 when I first learned about being transgender.  It felt like all the pieces suddenly clicked into place.  This was why I couldn’t act like a girl should—I wasn’t a girl in the first place.  This was why I liked “boy things” and felt so uncomfortable with my female body.  I met every criteria in the diagnosis, it just made sense.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my parents were going through their divorce at the same time. That’s not the subject of this story so I won’t go too much into it, but that’s hard for any kid to deal with.  My life was being flipped in all directions and I wanted to escape and start over.  I moved with my mom when she left, to a town I’d never lived in before. Nobody there knew me, so I could introduce myself as a boy rather than have to come out to people I already knew.  I started to meet other people like me.  Back then the trans community was a lot smaller, but everyone was very supportive.  I was starting to feel like I actually belonged somewhere and could be myself.  I started seeing a therapist, who agreed that my noncompliance with traditional gender roles meant that I was actually male.  At 20 I started taking testosterone, and it seemed like my life was on its way to being where I wanted it to be.


All was well for a few years.  My family accepted me and I passed well enough that nobody knew unless I told them.  I went stealth and decided that once I had gotten surgery I would put my trans status behind me, thinking of it just as a strange chapter of my life.  I listened to all the trans positivity messages out there saying “trans men are real men,” and did my best to convince myself that was true.  Of course I knew that no amount of modification would actually make me male, and that I would always have a connection to women that cis men do not have.  But that wasn’t the point; the point was to say words that make people feel good.


In the years since I came out and now, there have been a lot of discussions in trans theory that eroded my sense of belonging in the community.  We always said from the beginning that gender is a social construct and how you dress doesn’t define what you are, but at the same time we uphold these stereotypes to such a degree that anyone who doesn’t conform 100% to their assigned role is considered trans.  The hypocrisy took a few years to sink in, but once it did I couldn’t un-see it.  I never liked the concept of the cotton ceiling—for the uninformed this refers to people not wanting to sleep with trans people whose genitalia doesn’t match their orientation.  Maybe I’m taking a radical stance here, but nobody is obligated to sleep with anyone they don’t want to, and trying to guilt them or call them transphobic for that is honestly creepy.  More and more people began speaking out against the medicalization of transness and gatekeeping the community.  But instead of criticizing how the diagnostic criteria for being trans focuses on liking the “wrong” toys or clothes (which if we’re going with the gender is a social construct narrative, is a valid criticism), people wanted to drop dysphoria as a necessary symptom, meaning that being trans just meant not conforming to gender roles, which aren’t important in the first place, but they are when we say they are.  The logic felt so strained and unjustified, and I started to wonder how nobody else saw the doublethink going on.  But I had one point that I held on to, that being brain sex.  That was my justification for my feelings, I had a male brain in a female body. Sure, I couldn’t prove it, but it felt that way and that’s what counts right?


Well, then more brain studies started coming out.  There was a study on brain plasticity, meaning the brain changes shape or function depending on external circumstances—so a woman who’s been living in that role her whole life would have a “woman’s brain,” but that was due to the life she lived, not how she was born.  Last year, another study came out essentially proving that brain sex does not exist, because there is no single trait or list of traits that determines if a brain is male or female.  I consider myself a scientific person, so when irrefutable proof that contradicts my beliefs is staring me in the face, my only option is to change my beliefs.  Aside from that, there is a lot of evidence showing that transition usually does not reduce depression or suicidal ideation.  But honestly I don’t need a study to tell me that, I could see it in my own life and in the lives of other trans people I knew.  So I began to wonder, what actually makes me trans? If it’s not the way I dress, not something in the brain, and not dysphoria, what is it?  My soul or spirit or whatever?  Spare me that, I’m an atheist.  I deal with facts and proof, not things that feel good to think about but don’t stand up to critical thought.  My search for answers led me to gender critical feminism, which I was apprehensive about but I needed to understand.  I began to read the forbidden texts of radical feminism where they spell woman with a Y, but I couldn’t speak to any of my trans friends about it because they were critical of transition which made them Bad People, and me a Bad Person for even being curious about what they had to say.  I was surprised to see that there were a lot of similarities to what I had already been taught.  Gender is a social construct, I know that. Female gender roles hurt female people while male gender roles benefit male people, that’s obvious.  The biggest difference was that the ideology I was already in approached the problem of gender by creating more categories, while radical feminism advocated for abolishing the categories entirely.  What a concept, treating people the same regardless of what organs they’re born with and not assigning things like colors or behaviors to one organ set or the other—of course the trans community advocates for this too, or claims to, but gender abolition actually seemed like the logical conclusion of that line of thought.  I realized that I hadn’t needed to transition to become the person I wanted to be, that my dysphoria was more due to the way I was treated for the crime of being born female than anything else, and indeed, that I now had regrets.  I still felt dysphoric, but it seemed like transitioning would never solve that.  Even if I changed everything I could, I would still be fixated on the things that I can’t.  I wanted to go back but felt like I couldn’t, because I’d forever have an altered voice and facial hair.  I just knew I couldn’t keep acting like this was sound logic when I knew it wasn’t.  I knew I couldn’t live like this anymore.


So I made an anonymous blog.  No ties to my real identity, just a place for me to vent about my feelings. Shortly after, I stopped taking hormones and canceled my future appointments with the therapist I was seeing to get approval for top surgery.  I got in contact with other people who had realized that we needed to break the chains of gender, rather than add more colors of chains—some with a history of transition, some not.  Blogging about my experience has only made it more clear to me that gender theory has become dogmatic.  I get insults and threats from anonymous posters for talking about my own experiences, even if I don’t say anything against anybody else.  I’ve been called a self-hating trans man in denial, brainwashed by the radical feminist cult.  I’ve been asked sarcastically why I hate trans people, as if being critical of the way power structures affect the way people think means that I hate individuals or want harm to come to them (I don’t.)  I’ve even been accused of being a shill making up my whole story just to undermine the trans community.  It’s a lot to deal with, but I can’t disable comments because I also get people coming to me for advice or just to vent, people who either share my experience or are just questioning mainstream gender theory but are afraid to tell people they know.  I’m happy to be there for someone who needs a sympathetic ear, but it’s also upsetting that we have to talk about these things in secret.  Detransition might not be common (yet—I honestly believe that a lot of young people who identify as trans now won’t within a few years), but it is an important part of the experience that anyone considering transition should take into account.  I want to reiterate that I completely fit the narrative of a trans childhood and am formally diagnosed, I didn’t just get into it because it’s cool and trendy to be androgynous and have a dyed undercut.  And yet, I still realized it wasn’t right for me.  The same thing could happen to anyone in transition, especially if they are willing to critically examine their ideology instead of blindly accepting it. Detransitioned people deserve a voice in the community instead of being no-platformed the way we are now.  We used to be just like you, and you could easily become like us.


I only recently came out to my family and friends about detransitioning (via Facebook, since it’s easier to write one post than to tell everyone individually.)  It took several months for me to work up the courage—Coming out once is hard enough, and I worked so hard for everything I had achieved.  It felt like throwing away a lot of effort, and I was worried that retracting my identity would make me look crazy (or at least uncommitted) and alienate my trans friends.  I was finally inspired to speak up by a friend (who shall remain anonymous) saying that she was also going back to living as a woman, and getting a lot of positive and supportive response, including from mutual friends.  When I did finally make the post I had been dreading for ages, it was uneventful.  I called both my parents and they didn’t care as long as I was happy, and life immediately resumed.  Not a lot has changed, and I don’t expect it to.  I’m keeping my wardrobe because I like my clothes and clothes don’t define gender anyway, so I can wear whatever I want.  I’m not going back to my birth name because I never liked it (sorry Mom and Dad!) and the name I chose for myself has become part of my identity, and is fairly neutral.  People still assume that I’m a man because of my appearance, and that’s probably just something I’ll have to live with—I’m certainly not the only woman who does, even among women who have never transitioned.  It’s still a struggle to be okay with myself, but I feel more authentic now than when I was relying on external things to validate my identity.  It feels like I’m actually accepting me for me, rather than try and modify myself to chase an impossible end.  Right now I’m just taking things a day at a time and focusing on taking care of this body, feeding it well and staying physically active to feel at home in it.


If you’re reading this and you’re family or a friend, thank you.  If you’re reading this and you think I’m a violent transphobe, I can’t stop you, but I hope you understand that my viewpoint is not an outsider’s opinion, it comes from an intimate understanding of the trans community.  If you’re reading this and questioning your own transition, I’m here to tell you that it’s never too late.  Some detransitioners I know were on hormones longer than me, or had surgery, and still reclaimed themselves. Our community is here for you, and we’re all just trying to heal. 

takestheweatherpersonally  asked:

Hello! I have a character who's five years old and I was wondering what difference that makes medically, if that makes sense? Both like how medical workers will act with her and explain things given she's very young and how that would factor into her medical care, like basic checkups or diagnosing illnesses and stuff like that. Sorry if this is too broad or vague, and thank you for all you do!

Hey there! Congrats on being Janey on the spot with the inbox and  being the first ask of June! 

So, one quick note. I come from EMS, and particularly now from a critical care service that handles a lot of kids. But I’m assuming for the purpose of this ask that this child is not and has never been critically ill. Okay? Okay! 

Pediatrics is its own specialty for a reason, and I have bundles to learn about it. There are all sorts of things that are different in pediatric medicine (and all sorts that of things that are shockingly similar!). 

First, let’s talk about “furniture.” As you’ll remember from having once been a child, peds doctors offices and clinics, and even ERs, are often bright, colorful and cheery places. Kids get offered toys and lollipops, they get to see special movies. Doc McStuffins is a very common sight in peds hospitals and waiting rooms. 

I’ve heard of peds hospitals that have different mural styles for different wards: one hallway that’s done all up in a baseball theme, another in a princesses and dragons theme, another in trains. 

Oh! When little kids get a nebulizer treatment, oftentimes now the mask they get the treatment through looks like a dragon and it’s awesome and I wish they came in adult sizes. 

Providers are also, by necessity, gentler with kids. You can’t argue with a kid and tell them to hold still; they’re going to squirm whether the shot is good for them or not. (Don’t get me started on vaccinations, please.) 

In terms of the medicine, as someone who works on a pediatric critical care unit, there are two ways you can look at kids. 

A) They’re just little adults. 

B) They are definitely not little adults. 

Both are true. They’re little adults in that they have the exact same functions as adults. They’re not little adults in that there are big social development changes that go on at various ages and there are some physiological changes (mostly that come up in very technical fields) that are different. 

For adults, a lot of the med doses are standardized; for kids, they’re almost all weight-based. A 5 year old should weigh roughly 20kg/45lbs (and there’s a really neat method called Handtevy that will give you the estimated weight of any kid up to 10 yrs old based just on their age; it’s stupendously cool and exactly the kind of thing pediatric critical care medics nerd out about!). 

IVs are almost always smaller in kids, but that’s because they’re little. I’ve also seen ERs use whole teams to get a single IV in a child, including someone singing happy songs while other people stab the child with needles. (It seemed seriously Clockwork Orange to me, but I have a feeling it’s data-driven with good outcomes, so who knows?) 

I get the feeling you’re asking about pediatrics in general and not pediatric critical care, so I’m going to try and focus on the general practice stuff, which is that kids who don’t get seriously ill tend to do pretty well. 


Some things they might have done at the doctor’s office if they’re not there for a specific illness: 

  • Vitals: blood pressure, pulse, oxygen saturation, temperature
  • Height/weight checks. 
  • Scoliosis checks. 
  • Vision and hearing checks. 
  • Immunization checks. (I’d say just check the immunization schedule recommended by your region; the CDC’s is here and is as good as any.) 
  • Allergy scratch-testing 


Common reasons a 5 y.o. will go to the doctor: 

  • Earaches and ear infections
  • Fever (usually the flu or an ear infection) 
  • Vomiting 
  • Asthma. This is incredibly common in some areas, and I’ve worked in a few. 
  • the snot. so much the snot. 
  • Something lost in the nose 
  • Something swallowed 
  • Mechanical injury (broken wrist, bumped head, etc.)  It’s common for good parents to be suspected of child abuse for having clumsy kids. 

Kids tend to bounce – both literally and figuratively. They’re little, but pretty tough and hard to injure, and when they do get hurt they heal pretty quickly. They’re still growing, so they do well. 

That’s all I can think of about pediatrics when it’s 2 in the morning and I worked a 14+ hour day! 

Congrats on getting there first and I hope this was what you needed. 

xoxo, Aunt Scripty 

(Samantha Keel) 

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Two trips to a clinic and I would have been on hormones despite records of two years of therapy and 3 trips to ER for suicide attempts in the last two years.


Submission by: anonymous
UK/17

I spent most of my childhood being gender non confirming, getting asked if I was a boy or a girl, acting like/spending most of my time with/hoping to be seen as a boy till I finally got sick of being treated as a bodyguard by the girls (as the only one who would fight the boys to protect them) and not being treated as a boy by any adults but patronized as a girl (told to reform my behavior because it was “unladylike” and that I couldn’t help with physical tasks, having to fight to be able to play rugby and ending up with a girls “tag rugby” team etc.) so I decided to “just be a girl” and conform for an easier life. I also repressed any attraction to females and forgot my first romantic/sexual relationships were with girls till mid adolescence. When I got my first girlfriend we were both very into liberal feminism, trans activism, gender theory, sex/kink positivity and a shallow understanding of the left. I started getting body and social dysmorphia and got her to refer to me as her boyfriend instead/ started presenting as male and felt amazing so I thought I was gender fluid because I didn’t want to think I was trans. Fast forward a few years I found radical feminism and agreed with most of it, at the same time however, I started having intense body dysmorphia that required unhealthy binding (several layers of binding materials with a proper binder on top) and talked to trans/liberal feminist friends who were convinced I was trans from my past experiences and what I was feeling. I found a way to fit transitioning and coming out to close friends with my politics by telling myself, “yes I’m female, I just would rather be seen as a man, dress in a typically male fashion, and have the body of one” and because I knew gender couldn’t be innate I used the fact I had physical dysmorphia to “prove” I was trans (and lessen the confliction of my politics and what I wanted.) But I was lying to myself. There WAS a distinct feeling and identification with maleness and what it represented, and even after talking to detransitioned rad fems who advised non-permanent solutions to the dysmorphia I sought out medical attention and saw a nurse about a referral to a gender Identity clinic. In the UK, hormones are free and most people report being given them at just the second appointment at the GIC. I didn’t go through with it because after a few months I woke up without body dysphoria. I thought it was just a day off but it didn’t come back/only came back in mild or social ways (which I never trusted as much because daily treatment of women isn’t something pleasant for most people anyway.) After another week I released I wasn’t trans and apologized to my friends and my doctor. My hardcore genderist friend was clearly disappointed and refused to hear my views on gender or what had happened as soon as I realized I wasn’t trans but stayed friends with me.

Here’s the thing. Whilst my past added up to ‘gnc or trans’, and my personality and social preferences where typically male “That feeling” was the defining factor (beyond even dysmorphia) and it wouldn’t add up with what I believed about gender being constructed and not innate. Whilst the majority my experience can be chalked up to internalized homophobia, not wanting to be affected by misogyny/wanting actual equality with men, and oppressive gender norms leading to physical dysmorphia, I think the idea of “feeling” like a gender shouldn’t always be ignored as just that. A factor I very stupidly ignored was mental illness, I have BPD (a key feature of which is an unstable sense of identity, values and goals.)  Which would explain the dysphoria coming in waves and the “feeling.” There is no way to “feel” like a gender. I think if you do ‘feel’ like male or female it is a mental issue it is not how people of those sexes/genders feel, it is an abnormality that should be addressed (not with surgery or hormones if that can be avoided but with mental health help.) What’s worrying to me is that no one ever talks about the prevalence of mental health issues in trans and non-binary people and how easy it is to make life changing health interventions even despite records of mental health issues. Two trips to a clinic and I would have been on hormones despite records of two years of therapy and 3 trips to ER for suicide attempts in the last two years. This is a real issue and I think mental health could explain the mysterious “feeling” trans people always talk about.

oxymitch  asked:

Hello there! There are questions I like to ask....What would happen to the coma patient(s) when there's a power outage on not only the hospital but also the nearby areas of the town/city? And since the coma patient is kept alive by machines, would he/she die when the power is out? Also, what can the hospital staff do during the power outage for the coma patients?

Hey there @oxymitch​! Thanks for the ask! This is an interesting one :) 

First: I’m going to assume that your situation is going to last more than a couple of days, that they’re going to be isolated, and also that it will happen with no warning. Why? Because that’s the model I have to build an answer on. 

Easy ones: If the backup generators work, the power stays on, and the patients will be fine. If the loss of power is transient, less than a few hours, staff can be used to take over the machine functions in the short term. If the hospital has notice and they think they’ll lose power, they can actually transfer out their sickest patients to other facilities. Even if they lose power but the hospital is still accessible, they can request transfers for their sickest patients. Critical care transport units will transport those patients as far as needed to get them an ICU bed somewhere. 

Now, let’s look at the truly catastrophic scenario, because of course we should. 

So, first things first: hospitals have backup generators. As long as t he generators work and have fuel, your hospital will generally function in its usual manner, excepting that they will not permit surgeries in case of a total power failure. 

However, these generators are typically kept at, or even below, the level of the hospital, and flooding can knock these out. It happened in New Orleans during Katrina and I believe it happened in New York during Sandy, with a couple of major hospitals closed due to flooding. 

Let’s assume the power goes down completely – the worst possible case. Worse, help isn’t coming or can’t arrive any time soon – the true disaster scenario. Ambulances can’t get there by ground, all the air support is tied up on other missions or the storms are too bad to fly a helicopter. 

So, what happens to the coma patient in the ICU? Honestly, their outcome isn’t going to be great, and they’ll likely die. 

Ventilator-dependent patients require a machine to breathe for them, with very specific settings: volume, pressure, PEEP (positive end-expiratory pressure, essentially the “pushback” from the vent), etc. If the machines go down someone has to ventilate them manually, squeezing a bag 10-20 times a minute, indefinitely. It ties up staff that could be utilized in other places. Hell, that staff member can’t even leave the room for five minutes to pee

The other big issue is that IV pumps go down, too. Most IV pumps have some battery life, and some will last for hours, but many – especially those that are used strictly in-hospital, and have batteries only to get the patient to the bathroom and back – won’t work after 30-180 minutes. So the medications that are keeping most ICU patients alive won’t flow, and getting correct doses by drip – by pure gravity and the graces of a drip set – is next to impossible, especially in the dark. 

So these patients – many of whom are on 3, 8, 10, a dozen medication drips (plus their ventilator), are in deep, deep shit. 

[There is an  ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL podcast] about what happened in a hospital in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina, based on a book [Five Days at Memorial by Sheri Fink]*. The hospital lost power, lost backup power, were isolated, lost radio contact, kept hearing stories about looting. They were surrounded by water and couldn’t leave. And, surprisingly quickly, the doctors began to euthanize. 

Their logic was this: these patients need machines to breathe for them, to pump them full of medications. Hell, most medication dispensers – the mini-pharmacies on units – absolutely require power to dispense any meds at all

These patients were going to gasp to death without ventilators, or were going to drown in their own fluids from heart failure, or meet whatever end the ICU was barely keeping them from. So doctors decided to give big doses of fentanyl and midazolam – a painkiller and a sedative – and ease their patients’ suffering once and for all. 

Right or wrong, the intent was kind. Right or wrong, their actions probably meet the legal definition of homicide. (Right or wrong, we do this for our pets all the time.) 

The concept of triage is about the greatest good for the greatest number. A fictional hospital might make the choice to allow all ventilated patients to breathe on their own – or not, but to not give them any support. That frees the staff up to save the patients they know they can help. Save who you can, and let go who you can’t. This is done in disasters every day by EMS. 

I’m not saying what happened at Memorial was right, or that it was wrong; that’s not my place. (The NPR podcast goes into that at length.) I’m just saying that it happened, and that you might find it an interesting reference point for your story. 

Hope this helped! 

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

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3

You make an “ahh” face and nod; however, you are still confused as ever. Has technology really gotten this far? You do not recall any news about “Units” or androids this realistic looking with the ability to produce emotions as well as he(?) does.
You ask what to call him(?) by.

“Prussia or Gilbert is fine, or, if you really want to, you can call me: MR. SUPREME AWESOMENESS!! KESESESESESE!!!”

You nod, and mentally sweatdrop at the last name he mentioned. You then help him out of the crate.
Now that he is out of the crate, you can see the other objects that were in the crate.

You got:

•An ID Card
•Two sets of extra clothes
•Beer(???) x3
•An old flute

“I found this community of proudly gender non-conforming women. Women who don’t conform to society’s restrictive view of “woman”. I immediately felt the freedom to be who I wanted to be, and to not feel that I had to “prove” my womanhood.”

Submission by: @oops-im-a-radfem

24 from Utah

When I was a child/teen I was very gender non-conforming. I didn’t like “girl” things, I hated the color pink, had short hair, small boobs, wore mostly “boy” or gender neutral clothes.

If Utah was more progressive, and the trans cult had a presence here in the last half of the 00’s, I probably would have become a trans boy.

But, I didn’t. I went through my teen years as a tomboy, nothing unusual about that. I hated the clothes I had to wear to church. I felt uncomfortable in the girl’s bathroom because I was worried I looked out of place and that I would get yelled at. People asked me all the time if I was a boy or a girl, and I got mistaken for a boy and called a boy on many occasions. I was asked if I was a lesbian in middle school.

Basic stuff for a tomboy, I think.

When I was about 20, I found feminism. Through Pinterest, of all places. From there, I went to Facebook feminism. I learned the libfem version of “intersectionality” and wanted to be the best feminist I possibly could be. At that time, I didn’t really know much about the “queer” and “mogai” community, because I wasn’t on Tumblr. I had heard a bit about trans people, but I didn’t really know all that much about it.

In the fall of 2015, after being polyamorous with my husband for about 6 months, I met a girl. My husband and I started dating her (that’s a whole different story) and she told us about how she was genderfluid between being a woman and being agender. Her “agender” days basically consisted of body dysphoria and a desire to wear masculine clothing. After about a month or so of dating her, I started up my own Tumblr at her suggestion.

Once on Tumblr I learned all about the millions of identities within the “mogai” world. It was a lot of information, and I was confused and unsure that any of it was real. But I chalked those thoughts up to ignorance, and dove deeper into it all.

Throughout the entire time I was in the libfem world, and the Tumblr world, I grew more and more detached to my previous identity as a “tomboy”. I felt that since trans women have to perform femininity to be taken seriously as women, I had to as well or else I was depending on my cis privilege to be seen as a ‘real woman’.

After only a few weeks on Tumblr, I realized I had never questioned my gender. Because of Tumblr, I knew it was a cis privilege to never question gender, and to never have my gender questioned, unlike the experience that so many trans people have. I asked my girlfriend how she determined she wasn’t just a woman, and she directed me towards some blogs and labels for me to look into. I kept coming back to agender, because I was realizing that I didn’t fully “get” gender, and I wasn’t sure it was even real. Real for me, anyway, of course I knew it was real to others and I should respect that. But for me, gender wasn’t a real thing to worry about. I decided that because I didn’t understand gender, I must simply not have one. And so, I started claiming the identity of agender. 

I started using they/them pronouns, I tried out my girlfriend’s binder, I started embracing my masculine side again. I liked the binder, but soon after this I broke up with her and she took it back. I didn’t like it enough to get my own, so I didn’t get one. After some time of people not catching on with the they pronouns, I went back to she/her. Since I was still mostly feminine presenting it didn’t seem to matter to me.

I discovered nounself pronouns, and decided that I really liked the bun pronouns. I tried using them for a bit, but it felt silly and wrong. Plus not a lot of my friends used them for me, so I just decided to go back to she.

After that, I didn’t really care about my agender identity. I still used it, and I still made sure people on the internet knew about it, but deep down I didn’t care. I didn’t want to go back to identifying as a woman, though, because I knew once I did that I wouldn’t be able to speak about trans issues. I wanted to keep that, I didn’t want to be treated as a silly cis woman who has so much privilege she can’t say anything. I also didn’t want to give up the freedom I felt to not conform to gender roles as a woman.

In about November of last year, I decided that my romantic orientation wasn’t what I thought it was, because I was struggling with romance in general. I have never really felt totally romantic, and I decided to look into the aromantic spectrum to see if there was anything there that I liked. I found idemromantic (which basically means not understanding romantic attraction). I briefly used it, and when I was searching the ‘idemromantic’ tag for more people like me, I found an ace exclusionist blog.

I embraced the ace exclusionist perspective, and started critically examining everything I had been told by the ace/aro community. I learned how most of their labels were really about homophobia and the fact that the sex positive movement has given kids an unrealistic view of sex and romance.

At that point, I dropped the agender label, because through interacting with the ace exclusionist blogs I would occasionally see a post by a radfem that made good sense about why non-binary wasn’t so great. I once again felt the feeling of being restricted by my “woman” identity. I also still supported trans people on principal, I just felt a little better about not claiming that as part of my identity.

Then, the women’s march happened. The backlash of trans women feeling like their experience wasn’t centered enough and they were excluded happened. I noticed that even before that actually happened, I expected it. I knew that the pussy hats and the abortion rights signs would be offensive to trans women. I knew exactly how they would react. And that pissed me off.

I began thinking again about how gender has never made sense to me. I have never understood how someone can just “identify” with a gender. Gender roles are restrictive and assigned based on sex, so why would anyone want to “identify” with any “gender”? My year of identifying as “agender” didn’t do anything about my oppression. I was still affected by laws and expectations of women. I couldn’t just identify out of it, so how could trans women identify out of their male privilege? No matter what they wore or acted like, no matter the surgeries they got, they could NEVER be oppressed as women. They remain the oppressor class.

At that point, I decided to tentatively start researching radical feminism. I discovered this whole world of kick ass feminist women who don’t listen to male opinions, who don’t center male people, who live their lives for themselves and demand liberation.

I found this community of proudly gender non-conforming women. Women who don’t conform to society’s restrictive view of “woman”. I immediately felt the freedom to be who I wanted to be, and to not feel that I had to “prove” my womanhood. I felt a sisterhood I had never felt with trans women.

I felt free to re-embrace my natural tendency towards being gender non-conforming. I knew I could wear what I wanted and not be told I was less of a woman because of it. Now, I’m planning to get my hair cut short like it was when I was a teen (though, a bit more stylish). I want to wear “men’s” clothing and not be called either a man or some “non-binary” gender.

I feel like myself again.

I am a female by birth, and I “identify” with womanhood because I know now that womanhood is the simple matter of being an adult human female. I don’t have to do anything or act a certain way to be a woman, I just am one. And I no longer feel the need to identify as something other than a woman in order to be who I am. 

Why the TV show Timeless Deserves More Attention

Okay everyone listen up. This past year (meaning 2016 going into 2017), NBC seemed to have a good batch of new TV shows that have gained critical acclaim (This Is Us, I’m looking at you). But one that seemed to fly under the radar was the show Timeless. It was created by Eric Kripke, who is also known for creating the show of Supernatural which is on the CW, and Shawn Ryan.  

Now just a gist of what it’s about. It’s about a man who steals a time machine to go back into critical points of United States and early North American history to try and take out this organization called Rittenhouse, which seems to play a major role in basically every turning point of the historical timeline. The government takes over control of the industry who made the time machine and gets a trio of people to go back in time to stop the man. 

It seems that time machines and time travel seem to be an up and coming theme in media (Doctor Who reboot, Legends of Tomorrow to name two). But this one I found stood out in ways that deserve the recognition it’s due. 

Keep reading

Hospital walls

Part four of the bump series. Please don’t hate me. Thank you @lilli-jo for everything. I love you.


Her mother was at her bedside the second she heard the scream, dialing 9-1-1 with shaking hands.

And then things happened too fast.

Ambulance, sirens blaring, doctors, hospital walls.

And Jo’s weak voice. “Mom? Call Shawn, okay?”

“I will, Jo, I will! Deep breaths… deep breaths, darling”

Keep reading

For you, the doubters of Lionel Messi

Arsene Wenger (Coach, Arsenal) - “Who is the Best Player in the World? Leo Messi. Who is the Best Player Ever? Leo Messi!”

Diego Maradona (Ex Argentina) – “I have seen the player who will inherit my place in Argentine football and his name is Messi. Messi is a genius and he can become an even better player.”

Wayne Rooney (Manchester United) – “Messi is a Joke, for me the Best Ever!”

Pelé (Ex Brazil) - “At the moment, Messi is the Best!”

Ferrer (ex-Barcelona, Chelsea): “I played with Romario, Rivaldo, Ronaldo, Laudrup and Stoichkov but Messi is the best I’ve seen”

Eidur Gudjohnsen (ex-Chelsea, Barcelona) – “Messi’s control is the best I have ever seen, it is truly breathtaking.”

Krankl (ex-Barcelona) - “Messi is the world’s number 1. Cruyff was my youth idol, him and Messi are the best players I saw in my life.”

Rafael van der Vaart (Ex Tottenham) - “Best football player I played against? I think Messi. He killed us.”

Ivan Helguera (ex-Real Madrid) - “For me, Messi is the best player in history”

Joan Laporta (Ex President, Barcelona) – “Messi is the best player in the world right now and the best ever. Together with Cruyff and Maradona, he’s the best we’ve seen at the club.”

Klaas jan Huntelaar (Schalke) - “Who’s better, Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo? Messi. Ronaldo is good, but Messi is ten times better.”

Sergio Aguero (Manchester City) – “Messi won 3 Ballons d’Or and is competing for another one. He will be the best player in the world until he retires.”

Antonio Cassano (Ex AC Milan) – “Messi is the best player in the history of football, and that’s why I prefer Barça over Real Madrid.”

Arda Turan (Atléti, Ex Galatasaray,) - “Messi or Ronaldo best player in the world? In the world, I would say Ronaldo. Messi is from another planet.”

Sandro Rosell (Ex President, Barcelona) - “I think Barca will never have a player like Messi again. Messi’s greatness is present on and off the field of play.”

Roy Keane (Ex Manchester United) – “I was a big fan of Maradona growing up and of the current crop Ronaldo is good but Messi is the best I’ve ever seen. I don’t dish out praise lightly but Messi deserves it. I look for weaknesses in his game and I can’t find them.”

Bacary Sagna (Ex Arsenal) – “Best Player I played against? Messi, when he plays wide. He is the best in the world. Football seems easy when he plays it”

Javier Mascherano (Barcelona) – “Although he may not be human, it’s good that Messi still thinks he is. Messi plays some another sport.”

Fabio Capello (Ex Coach, Juventus) -“In my entire life I have never seen a player of such quality and personality at such a young age, particularly wearing the ‘heavy’ shirt of one of the world’s great clubs.”

Raúl Gonzáles (Ex Real Madrid) – “The other day I saw one of his games. He was running with the ball at a hundred percent full speed, I don’t know how many touches he took, maybe five or six, but the ball was glued to his foot. It’s practically impossible!”

Gerard Pique (Barcelona) -“It doesn’t matter where Messi plays, if it’s cold or hot, he always proves that he’s the best.”

Marcello Lippi (Ex Coach, Italy) - “The best? Messi”

Antonio Cassano (Ex AC Milan) – “Ronaldinho is better than Cristiano Ronaldo, but neither are as good as Leo Messi.”

Fernando Gago (Ex Real Madrid) - “For me, the best in the world is Messi because of the way he plays, moves with the ball and changes matches, Messi has incredible ability and I love the way that he plays.”

Theirry Henry (Ex Arsenal, Barcelona) - “I have the possibility to watch Messi in training each morning, and because of what he demonstrates he is the best player in the world”

Arjen Robben (Ex Real Madrid) - “Messi is on another planet.”

Xavi Hernández (Barcelona) – “If he continues like this then I think Messi will be the best player in the history of football,”

Sir Alex Ferguson (Ex Coach, Manchester United) - “Critics have always questioned whether players like Pele from the 50s could play today. Lionel Messi could play in the 1950s and the present day, as could Di Stefano, Pele, Maradona, Cruyff because they are all great players. Lionel Messi without question fits into that category.”

Paulo Maldini (Ex AC Milan) - “When I see Lionel Messi playing, I think he should win it (Ballon d’or) every year. I have no doubt. He is an unbelievable player”

Pep Guardiola (Ex Coach, Barcelona) – “It has been an honour to be the coach of the best player (Messi) I have ever seen and probably the best I will see”

Ryan Giggs (Ex Manchester United) - “He is probably the best player of the last 20 years. He is such a slippery player. Because of his height and quickness he is difficult to pin down and his balance is exceptional.”

Manuel Pellegrini (Ex Coach, Villarreal) – ”I don’t know the parameters for the Ballon d’Or. I only know that Messi deserves to win every trophy”

Marco van Basten (Ex AC Milan) – “There is no doubt about it, Messi’s clearly the best player in the world. He’s a phenomenon who has already won everything, but is still hungry for more. His humbleness only makes him greater”

John Terry (Chelsea) - “For me, Lionel Messi is quite clearly the best player ever. It’s a pleasure to put myself against him and when I finish my career it’s something I can look back on and know I’ve tested myself against the very best.”

Vicente Del Bosque (Coach, Spain) - “Messi or Ronaldo? I prefer Messi because he is more of a street player.”

Zinedine Zidane (Ex France, Real Madrid) – “Messi makes the difference most of the time. In particular, he is always going forwards. He never passes the ball backwards or sideways. He has only one idea, to run towards the goal.So as a football fan, just enjoy the show.”

Filipe Scolari (Ex Coach, Portugal) – “The only bad thing about Ronaldo’s life is Messi. If it was not for him, Ronaldo would be the best player in the world for five years in a row.”

Robin Dutt (former Coach Bayer Leverkusen) - “You won’t see anyone else like Messi. People said that Di Stefano, Maradona and Cruyff were the best when they were playing. And now it is the same for Messi. He is on the throne and it is down to him how long he stays there.”

Jack Wilshere (Arsenal) – “Ronaldo is good but I am #TeamMessi all day everyday! Everyone is allowed 1 bad game in 300 right?”

Radamel Falcao (Athletico Madrid) – “Is Messi a real player or a Play Station character?”

Neymar (Brazil, Barcelona) – “It is very simple, Messi is the best in the world, and if you give him a little bit of space, he can do whatever he wants.”

Gheorghe Hagi (ex-Madrid -Barcelona) – “Messi or Cristiano? Cristiano Ronaldo is very good, but I prefer Messi. He’s incredible.”

Joey Barton (Queens Park Rangers) – “Messi is the best that’s played the game. Streets ahead of Maradona.”

Sid Lowe (Editor, Guardian) - “To compare Lionel Messi to anybody else is unfair on them”

Jorde Valdano (Ex Real Madrid) - “I believe that we have the first genius of the 21st century, Leo Messi.”

Michael Owen (Ex Liverpool) - “I can’t believe anyone can have played the game of football as well as Messi.”

Franz Beckenbauer (Ex Germany) - “Messi is a genius. He has everything. When I watch him, I see a player who is very, very, skilful, very clever and his left foot is like Diego Maradona’s.”

Manuel Almunia (Arsenal) - “Messi is very skilful and can do whatever he wants at any moment. He’s the best player in the world.”

Ronaldo (Brazil) – “There is no doubt that Messi is the best player in the world.”

Hristo Stoichkov (Ex Barcelona) – “Once they said they can only stop me with a pistol but today you need a machine gun to stop Messi.”

Romario (Ex Brazil) – “Messi has all the conditions to be the best.”

Oliver Kahn (Ex Germany) – “Messi is undoubtedly a gifted footballer, like Maradona and Pele, and he’s playing for the best club side in the world at the moment. He’s successful and he’s winning trophies, so it’s only logical that he’ll be voted the best player in the world.”

Thiago Silva (Brazil) - “Messi is a special player, certainly the best attacker I’ve played against to date, but I think comparing players from different generations is difficult. All I know is that he’s spectacular and already is definitely among the best ever.”

Michel Platini (President, UEFA) - “Messi is the great player of this generation, like there were great players in other generations.”

Alessandro Pato (Brazil) – “When Messi plays, he is the best.”

Ander Herrera (Athletic Bilbao) - “I’m not sure Messi is a human.”

Ganso (Brazil) - “Without doubt he is on another planet, because he does things others can’t.”

Luis Figo (Ex Portugal) – “For me, to watch Messi play is a pleasure – it’s like having an orgasm – it’s an incredible pleasure.”

Thiago Alacantara (Barcelona) - “We can give him the ball and we can stand back and watch him. People often say to me they saw Pele and Maradona play. In the future, I will be able to say I saw Messi play.”

Ruud Gullit (Ex Netherlands) - “He is already the best in the world. He is an exceptional talent. I still think Diego Maradona is the best player I have ever seen, but Messi is closing in fast. He’s a wonderful sight in full flight and we are lucky to have him around.”

Luis Figo (Ex Inter) - “Player I would like to sign for Internazionale? It’s easy, the strongest in Europe at the moment is Lionel Messi, so I would say him. Messi has amazing qualities, he is the best of all, number one. That is unquestiionable.”

Johan Cruyff (Ex Barcelona) – “For the world of football, Messi is a treasure because he is role model for children around the world.”

Maxi Rodriguez (Ex Liverpool) - “There is no doubt, you’re from another galaxy. Thanks Leo”

Demba Ba (Newcastle United) - “Is Messi a human being?????”

John Heitinga (Everton) - “Mejores jugador del Mundo Messi! Best player in the World!”

Gary Linekar (Ex England) - “Fella’s a genius! Best ever by a distance in my life time! Never really saw Pelé. Wait til he grows up! Souness, Gullit, Venables and now Rooney agree Messi is the best they have seen. He plays a game to which we are not familiar.”

Eden Hazard (Chelsea) – “Is Messi the best player of all times?”

Mano Meneses (Ex Coach, Brazil) – “Messi? We will play against the best in the world.”

Johan Cruyff (Ex Barcelona) – “Messi will be the player to win the most Ballons d’Or in history. He will win five, six,seven. He is incomparable. He’s in a different league.”

Rio Ferdinand (Ex Manchester United) - “Who were the best players I had ever played against? Raul,Messi, Zidane.”

Zlatan Ibrahimovic (PSG) : “Messi is more naturally gifted than Ronaldo. Messi does not need his right foot, though. He only uses the left and he’s still the best in the world! Imagine if he also used his right foot, Then we would have serious problems!”

Rivaldo (Ex Brazil) – “Between Cristiano Ronaldo and Messi, I go with Messi. For me he is the best in the World.”

Kobe Bryant (LA Lakers) - “I wear Number 10 Jersey for the US National Team in honor of the Greatest athlete i have ever seen, Messi.”

Miguel Angel Lotina (Ex Coach, Deportivo) – “Comparing Cristiano to Messi is an exercise of ignorance in football. Messi is Messi and others, footballers.”

Radomir Antic (Coach, Serbia) - “Messi is the Mozart of football.”

John Carlin (Journalist, Argentina) – “Messi is much more than being clever. He is a genius who reserves all his expressiveness for football.”

Mario Balotelli (Ex Manchester City) - “There’s only one that is a little stronger than me: Messi. All the othersare behind me.”

Massimo Moratti (President, Inter Milan) - “Messi is the only player for whom I would go crazy.”

Antonio Lobo Antunes (Writer, Portugal) - “There are 3 or 4 important things in life: Books, Friends, Women……and Messi.”

Mario Gomez (Bayern Munich) – “I am not crazy enough to compare myself with Messi because he is the best there ever was and the best there will ever be.”

Jürgen Klopp (Coach, Dortmund) - “Messi is the Best. There must be life out there somewhere, on some other planet. Because he is too good and we are just too bad for him.”

Ray Hudson (Commentator) - “They tell me that all men are equal in God’s eyes, this player (Messi) makes you seriously think about those words. ”

2014/2015 edition

Gianluigi Buffon - ‘’Messi is an alien, that dedicates himself to playing with humans.’’

Tata Martino - “He sees passes that most people can only see whilst watching the game on TV, not ones that you can normally see on the pitch.”

Carles Puyol - ‘’This Barca will be remembered as Messi’s Barca. He’s well above anything else I’ve ever seen. He’s an alien and better than four years ago because he reads the game better. He’s unstoppable’’

Raúl - ‘’I was lucky enough to play with Zidane, Ronaldo, Figo, Cristiano… but Messi is different; he makes everything look so easy, so effortless – even the impossible.’’

Henk Ten Cate - ‘’It’s too bizarre for words to see how good and consistent Messi has played. Of course he scored all these great goals, but in the end he has always served the team interests.  I can hardly imagine what’s coming for him next. At least he is so intelligent that he is also of tremendous value as a playmaker. You see in everything he does that he is not individualistic, and is happy when another score.’’

César Luis Menotti - ’What Messi does is terrifying. It’s indescribable magic. You can’t analyze it’’’

Gary Lineker - ‘’I never ever thought I would say that there was a better player than Maradona since he was in my time and I was in awe of him, but I honestly think for a number of reasons that Messi has surpassed him. He can do anything that Maradona did, and he does it more frequently and consistently.’’

Cerezo (president Atletico) - I’ve seen amazing players, but Messi is unique. Special. He’s a global player, he defines this sport’’

Alessandro Del Piero - ‘’Messi is the number one. He has talent, instinct, passion and magic. He is part of football heritage and we’re so lucky that he’s living in our time and that we can enjoy watching him.’’

Jamie Carragher - His achievements over the last decade have been so breathtaking that you could say he has outstripped those who have gone before — and it is quite possible we will never see them bettered

Graham Hunter - That’s how I like to think of it. It’s not Messi running toward a yawning goal net thinking “must score, must score.” It’s the entire history of football, the gods of football drawing him magnetically to the net with one refrain in their celestial minds: “This is the guy we invented football for … this is the man we want to dominate the history of goal scoring for all time.”

Juan Bernat - ‘’Messi is the best player in history. Anyone who understands football, even a little, thinks the same.’’

Mario Götze - ‘’He’s achieved so many great things and set the bar so high that practically nobody is ever going to reach it.’’

Javier Mascherano - ‘’I am too much ‘Messisist’ to compare his performances’’

Escribá (Elche coach) - ‘’ve never seen another player like Messi and I don’t think I ever will. It will be hard to imagine another player like him. I’ve seen Maradona and Cruyff play and Messi is better than both of them.’’

Angel di Maria - ‘’Having him as a rival is complicated. You see game after game that it is impossible to take the ball off him, impossible to stop him. There are no words to decribe his talent.’’

Diego Simeone - ‘’Messi alone is more dangerous than Real Madrid’s attacking trio Ronaldo, Benzema and Bale.’’

Franz Beckenbauer - ‘’We should not compare humans to God, but Messi is a godly player.’’

Paul Scholes - ‘’Let me tell you what it is like playing against Messi. You are up against a footballer who can take the ball either side of you, and you have no idea which side that might be from any hint about his body-shape. Unfortunately, there is also a third way that he might go past you – the worst of the lot – and that is through you, as Fernandinho and James Milner discovered to their cost.’’

Gary Lineker - ‘’Messi is indisputably the greatest player ever to don a pair of football boots. Don’t even attempt to argue the point.’’

-Me: rolls for Valentian units

-Gets a 4 star Eirika but no Valentian units

-Later checks her IVs

-she’s +speed

Why does this keep happening when I’m dead set on promoting another unit (Sharena)? And from everything I’ve heard, she’s Nino’s BFF.

Today I woke up feeling like I had a hangover. I’m starting my 4 day break from the ICU, after working 6 of the last 8 days. I drug myself down the stairs and starting cleaning house as I normally do on my days off. I glanced at myself in the mirror at the bottom of my stair case. Horror. My face blatantly shows the pure exhaustion that I feel, and my hair looks a complete mess. “Thank god I’m off work today and my patients won’t have to see this worn out version of myself” is my first thought.

People who aren’t nurses always tell me, “You only work three days a week? Wow! That must be great. I wish I had your schedule!” ..Only three days a week? ONLY!? I wake up at 4:30AM, shake off my fatigue, drive an hour to work, and then begin my scheduled 12 hour shift. 12 often turns into 13 hours or even more depending on the patient load and if I were able to keep up with my charting. When I’m done and finally clock out, I drive home arriving around 8PM, where I strip out of my scrubs and collapse onto the couch where I snuggle my cats and tell my husband about my day until I pass out from exhaustion. I slip upstairs to bed, to the disbelief of my husband that I could possibly be so tired, and I set my alarm and prepare for my next shift.

ONLY 36 hours a week. But does anyone who’s not a nurse know what those 36 hours consist of? Juggling all my nursing tasks for each individual patient while also trying to communicate with the doctors, pharmacists, respiratory therapists, PT, OT, social work, our aides, the patients themselves, and their families?! Yes, that’s right, I communicate with all of these people on a daily basis. I am personal coordinator for my patients. I am their voice, their advocate. I must be aware of my patients needs at all times. Room 101 is going up stairs to cath lab at 0900. 102 wants their pain medicine at 0915. 103 needs to be turned at 0930. Got it. My mental check list is a never ending dynamic that I must prioritize and rearrange constantly.

My job is scary. Always thinking, always analyzing, ALWAYS aware of my actions. I could cause a patient to lose their life if I am not critically thinking about everything that I do and every medication that I give. Is this dosage appropriate, does this patient need this medication? It is all my responsibility to keep the patient safe.

Even when I am doing everything that I can it isn’t always enough. I’ve had family members displeased that I took a little longer to answer a call light. I’m sorry that I couldn’t get you a coke right away, I was busy titrating a lifesaving medication in the room right next to yours. I have been asked by a family member if I were qualified to even be a nurse, surely I was too young for that. I have been told that I am too weak to help lift a patient when in reality I can lift more weight that I weigh. Nursing is hard. I take all these comments and offer a kind response to remain professional even though it can make me feel really small at times. Not feeling appreciated is hard when all I am trying to do is help.

I have been there when a patient said their lasts words before being intubated and never being able to come off of the vent. I have been there as a patient has taken their last breaths on the earth. I have been there when a patient has decided that their body can no longer fight, and they would like to receive comfort care. I have provided comfort care as family members are silent, with tears streaming down their faces, as I turn the lifeless body of their once resilient family member. I have been there when a doctor has told a healthy, active patient in front of their spouse that they have stage 4 cancer, and will not survive. I have stood and held my tears to remain strong for family members who have had their hearts shattered by the news that their loved ones will not be coming home again. I have sobbed on my way home from work because my heart is shattered too. I am so sorry that you have to go through these things. I am so sorry that your loved one has cancer. I am so sorry that myself and the doctors couldn’t get your loved one to wake back up after being sedated on the ventilator. Nursing is hard. I am human. I care about my patients. How could I not? My heart breaks along with my patients and their family members. Then I go home and try to pretend that I have not been broken during my shift. I don’t want to burden my husband with my sadness, and I need to pull it together so I can go back to work in the morning and do it again.

So how do I do it? How do all nurses do it? How do we manage ONLY 36 hours a week? Because nursing is beautiful. I have been there as a scared patient on a ventilator has woken up so I held her hand and told her that everything would be okay. She could not speak as she had a lifesaving breathing tube down her throat. Somehow she managed to grasp a pen with her weak hands and wrote “I love you guys.” My heart exploded with joy. I have provided comfort to someone when they were far from comfortable. I have been there when a patient has come off of a ventilator after being on it for a week, and watched as they cried and said they were so happy to be alive. I helped bring that person relief. I have bought lip gloss for an elderly patient whose son forgot to bring in her lipstick. The smile on her done up face was priceless as she put on the lip gloss to complete her look. I have made a patient genuinely happy even though she is sick and in the critical care unit. I have been there providing comfort care to a dying loved one and family members have hugged me and thanked me for being the angel that their family member needs. Nursing is beautiful. Life is beautiful. I watch lives change, I watched lives end, and I watch lives get a second chance because of the care and medicine that I have provided.

Nursing is hard. Nursing is stressful. Nursing is exhausting. It drains me both physically and mentally. I come home tired, sweaty, and defeated. Not all days are good days. Nursing is not all sunshine and rainbows. But nursing is my life. I dedicate my life to saving the lives of others. Those break through moments when a patient miraculously recovers, when a patient holds your hand and tells you how thankful that they are for you, and the moments when myself and a patient can share in a good laugh. The feeling of pride I feel when my patient came in on a ventilator but walks out at discharge, makes it all worth it. All the wonderful, precious moments are why I love nursing. The great moments are what get myself and my coworkers through the long, difficult 12 hour shifts. Thank god for fantastic coworkers. My coworkers are like my family. I know that they understand the mental turmoil that I go through after a hard day. Only nurses understand truly what nurses go through.

So the next time that you want to tell a nurse that it must be great to work ONLY 36 hours a week, please be mindful of what those 36 hours are like. Give a nurse a hug today, and be thankful that we continue to do what we do, and don’t judge us when we drink a little extra wine. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

Sincerely,
the exhausted,
but still smiling ICU nurse.

—  Kelsey Van Fleet, via Facebook
Tim + Alex Get TWATD #7.1: Minerva, Baal, Woden

So here’s a thing we used to do which we haven’t in a while. When TWATD started out, the idea was six units of criticism every six months, split into two halves, for reasons of formalism probably. 

The format has changed considerably since then, but Tim + I still think in the basic unit of three, so to highlight that fact – and because I’m having a stressful morning and this is a soothing activity – here’s the latest round of essays. And, hey, because this is comics, I’ve even gone back to the old numbering.

A Year Older, A Year Wiser

Tim: “We’ve held Mini at arm’s length, and the book has treated her more like a symbol than a character in her own right. Her short blonde hair emphasises her childish features, and her glasses kept us at a distance from her. At best, she was a representation of the stolen youth of the Pantheon, a reminder of their tragically preordained early deaths. At worst, she was a plot device, a cat dangling from a rope in need of saving.”

Read more.

Baal So Hard

Alex: “Even in Gillen’s playful dialogue, these constant elaborate nicknames feel too written, too overwrought to be part of natural speech. I mean, Nick Batcave? But looking back, I suspect that’s the point. These lines are a little too neat and clever to be thought up on the spot. Baal is a dude who sits up at nights really thinking about all this, you feel. Tangled up in the silk sheets, brow knitted, considering where he stands among his peers.”

Read more.

No More Mr Asshole

Tim: “Woden has done awful, terrible things. He has been an accessory to multiple murders, collaborating with Ananke to facilitate and cover up the death of several of his fellow gods, as well as numerous regular people. He openly acknowledges that he treats women as objects for his sexual satisfaction, and he exerts an abusive level of power over the Valkyries. Plus he is smug, cowardly, manipulative and probably doesn’t smell too fresh in that leather suit either. 

But is he irredeemable?”

Read more.

And with that, once more we piss off for a bit. 

See you again at the end of the arc.

without cheating: which do you think is currently the top post on /r/the_donald?

A) someone arguing that it’s hypocritical criticize United Airlines if you don’t belly ache about muslims

B) a meme about Hillary losing the election, even though it happened five months ago

C) an old interview where Obama accidentally says “my muslim faith” while talking about religion

D) someone arguing that it’s impossible to be a misogynist and support Marine Le Pen

anonymous asked:

Why do some Turn-Based strategy games use Random Number Regenerators for things like accuracy and critical hit? Wouldn't you think that an unlucky roll at a crucial moment, or several unlucky rolls that lead to a bad situation would cause more frustration than interesting gameplay?

While this can lead to frustration, random results also swing the other way - sometimes the player gets a lucky hit or critical strike. It can have a polarizing effect, but the overall takeaway is usually a net positive for the game because of how the feature is usually handled. If it was just a random chance with no way to affect it, I would agree - it wouldn’t really add much to the gameplay aside from an uncontrollable random element that would cause some amount of frustration. But games, especially strategy games, are almost never designed this way. Instead, we design the game in a way to allow the player to mitigate the risk, and to capitalize on it as well.

In most games, designers build in means to allow the player to control the effects of randomness. It could be by giving a higher critical rate to artillery units on higher ground, lowering the chance of a critical hit landing on defenders within fortified walls, or adding specific technology research that increases the player’s unit critical hit rate, or reduces the chance of hits, damage, etc. on the player’s units. There’s also the possibility of adding gear or consumable items to adjust these numbers. By providing a basis for the player to influence the effects of the randomness, it provides a sense of strategy and depth to the player. Good players will be able to mitigate the effects of the randomness by demonstrating mastery of the system and the game. 

It’s also important to note that we designers don’t necessarily want to eliminate randomness entirely. By having the chance of something going haywire (even if it is small), it makes things interesting for the player. A victory that is completely assured usually isn’t particularly interesting or exciting to the player; a victory that’s pretty close can be much more. Players get a measurably larger dopamine rush when they get an unexpected benefit to their play, like landing a critical hit, and they also get a big rush when they manage to come from behind to take the victory. 

Ultimately, there are always the chances of the dice coming up snake eyes and losing because of randomness, and that feels lousy. However, well designed games provide avenues for players to mitigate the chance of catastrophe, while retaining and building on the positive aspects of the randomness. In doing so, the players get to improve their skills and achieve mastery of the game systems, while still reaping the benefit of lucky rolls. These overall benefits far outweigh the small percentage of the time when a player is super unlucky and manages to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. 


Got a burning question you want answered?

Holy Divine Knight, Gancelot Peace Saver [G-BT11/001 (GR/SGR)]

[Stride]-Stride Step-[Choose one or more cards with the sum of their grades being 3 or greater from your hand, and discard them] Stride this card on your (VC) from face down.
[AUTO](VC):When this unit attacks, if you have a heart card with “Alfred” or “Blaster” in its card name, Counter Charge (1), until end of that battle, this unit gets drive+1, and then, if you have a face up card in your G zone, this unit gets [Critical]+1.
[CONT](G Zone):During your turn, if this unit is face up, all of your rear-guards with “Blaster Blade” in its card name get “[CONT](RC):Resist”.