crispy chicken strip

something new (m)

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Smut/fluff

Warnings: Oral, spanking, etc.  You already know what’s coming with these dancer hips.

Wordcount: 2.6k 

Enjoy you little perverted shit. ;)


It was mutual. You and Hoseok had been together for about 6 months now, on and off talks about the future. He had just made a notice that he was on his way afterward from dance practice. Something made you feel as if you’re gonna be in for a long ass night. You were walking around your shared house in only one of Hoseok’s t shirts and a pair of your favorite knee highs. A soft knock sounded at the door and you’d be damned if you didn’t trip. You look through the little peep hole to see your golden boyfriend, bare face and all, standing without a care in the world. 

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“Come Dine With Me” competition!

For a lovable anon. Where I am from we actually don’t have “Come Dine With Me” show but we have similar “Tables set!” (Wikipedia says “Spread!“ but let me tell you that’s some ugly translation) For those of you who don’t know this show at all: You gather 5 amateur cooks and each day one of them hosts a dinner for everyone. Their rivals give them points (1-10) and after five days the person who has the most points wins some prize, usually money. The dinner consists of appetizer/soup, main dish, dessert, and an activity. (Yes, I know that it is usually appetizer followed by soup but listen, I’ve just came up with 20*3 unique meals and 20 activities. And speaking for myself, I have problem to fit into myself a dinner consisting of two dishes, so 4 feels too many.)
I had our leaders randomly (I used dice) sorted into groups of 5, so we will have 4 winners in the end.

Group1:

Vol’jin: Raptor egg soup, tiger-burger with mashed potatoes, exotic fruit salad with ice cream, and bone carving.
Thrall:
Spring rolls, beef goulash, 7 flavors rainbow pudding, and candle making.
Mekkatorque:
Garlic spread and spicy bread, scrambled eggs with sour cream and gammon, caramel cream puffs, and make-your-own-firework with later firework display.
Garrosh:
Spring carp soup, clefthoof kabob, Terokkar pine-nut cake, and Hine’n’Seek with his 37 ghost children (unintended).
Genn:
Tartare, slow cooked turkey with dumpling, various cupcakes, and cupcakes decorating.

Winner: Vol’jin. Warchief, more like Warchef.

Group2:

Falstad: Open (vegetarian) sandwiches, escalope of three meats with baby carrot, macaroon, and playing darts.
Baine:
Sweet corn seeds in spice, chicken tikka masala in flatbread, grilled fruit, and painting on leather.
Tyrande:
Spicy cinnamon rolls, sweet rice with pineapple and crunchy chicken bits, mascarpone cheese cakes, and beauty makeover.
Velen:
Small fruitcakes, jungle stew with bread, ice cream, and ice cream making.
Gallywix:
Creamy tomato soup, trout a la creme, tiramisu, and mini golf.

Winner: Gallywix. If you bitch about people’s cooking, you better be a good cook yourself, that’s his motto.

Group3:

Sylvanas: Mushroom cake, roasted lamb with stuffing-cooked-aside, olives and creme cheese in spring onion (presented as eyeballs), and mirror labyrinth.
Lor’themar:
Especially spicy devil clams, saffron-and-curry rice with sweet deer, various baked cheeses with cranberry sauce, and fire dancing.
Ji:
Ramen, noodles of thousand flavors and grilled vegetable, sweet rice cakes and Hearthstone tournament.
Muradin:
Thin mint-and-chocolate cookies, hare stew with potatoes and homemade cornbread, small grilled cheeseburgers, and ale tasting.
Aysa:
Sweet-and-sour chili soup, crispy breaded chicken strips with orange sauce, vegetable sushi rolls, and painting on silk shirts.

Winner: Lor’themar. The sweet victory was worth staying sober for five days straight.

Group4:

Anduin: Creamy fish soup, potato pancakes with beef, cheese fondue, and 5-man version of Jihui.
Varian:
Onion soup, pork tenderloin with pasta and spinach sauce, blueberry cheesecake, and opening champagne with a sword.
Moira:
Homemade pates with dwarven shortbread, sweet dumblings with strawberry stuffing, chocolate-vanilla butter roll, and visiting her lava-heated glasshouse.
Taedal:
Radish salad with sour goat cheese, skewered warp stalker bits and exotic fruit, open sandwich (danish style), and pearl-hunt diving.
Lady Deathwhisper:
Gazpacho, risotto with four meats, frozen cream puff ball surprise (varying flavor and a nut inside), and ice sculpting.

Varian: Hold on, hold on. Lady Deathwhisper? What is she doing here?
Lady Deathwhisper:
You see, there was one competitor needed for this group and the Lich King thought the Scourge should be… More positively represented.
Lady Deathwhisper:
And Kel’thuzad is a miserable cook, so…

Winner: Anduin. The living proof that less sometimes means more and simple and traditional is always good.

One time i misspoke at a restaurant and ordered grilled chicken strips instead of crispy chicken strips with fries and grilled chicken strips weren’t even on the menu and when the waiter asked me to confirm grilled chicken strips I couldn’t bring myself to correct myself so I just said yes like it was a real menu item hoping they’d bring me what I actually wanted but when my order came out it was just plain chicken breast grilled with some vegetables and it was plain af and sucked and they probably expected me to send it back but I acted like it was great bc I was in too deep to confess I had no idea what I was talking about and I never went back again.

Chubby vs. the Food Bowl

Today I was eating some crispy chicken strips when Chubby did his usual begging thing–you know, plant his little butt down like he’d sprouted roots on the spot with eyes wide and hopeful in anticipation of the nomz. I was extra hungry though and didn’t share (also, never fried foods for the corgi). When I finished I prepped his dog food and usual supplements and tried to get him to eat dinner. He must have been annoyed to have to go from smelling that steamy fresh chicken to his usual Fromms, because he shoved his snout under his placemat and nudged it upward in an attempt to tip over his food bowl. I couldn’t help laughing at his agitation toward the bowl. He tried this at least 4 more times before I finally gave up trying to get him to eat. This has happened a handful of times in the past when, for one reason or another, he just HAD to have his food bowl out of his sight. Sigh. Little drama king.

Edit // Stumbled across an old pic of the last time he did this!

I love chocolate and I love cookies and I don’t want to go to a restaurant and order a salad. So I don’t. I go to a restaurant and I order a 16oz steak. I order a bacon cheeseburger and I don’t substitute the fries. I get a basket of crispy chicken strips and I eat them all without guilt. I’m not in the business of restricting food anymore. I see people say they’re going to cut out carbs, sugar, starches. But I don’t want to live like that. Moderation is underrated. I have a friend who eats a bowl of ice cream every night and she is one of the healthiest people I know. Moderation isn’t treating yourself once a month. It’s practicing a balance of healthy foods along with the junk we love using proper serving sizes and a little bit of self control.
—  moderation > diets