cripple-problems

Joey/Rachel rant

Part of what continues to irritate me about the dropped Joey/Rachel development is… not only did it degrade quickly into clear fodder for a Ross/Rachel endgame (it makes me livid that their relationship became all about Ross when he basically has an affair with Joey’s girlfriend–Charlie–in Barbados), but the REASON it didn’t work out was just ridiculous.

The reason it doesn’t work out is a sudden aversion to “consummating” the relationship, when if we’re being incredibly frank here, part of why Rachel even starts to reciprocate feelings for him is because of her physical attraction to him and the ensuing sexual arousal. Rachel slapping away Joey’s physical advances (and Joey’s sudden inability to undo her bra which almost seems like borderline retconning) is just preposterous and maddening to me! Especially when the chemistry between Aniston and LeBlanc jumps out the screen to punch people in their ovaries or brovaries. Seriously; couldn’t they have come up with a more realistic reason? I just find it extremely hard to buy that this sexual attraction they’ve been teetering around ever since they met suddenly vanishes when they actually try to make a move. Maybe it’s realistic, but I’ve never experienced that; the closest to this kind of ‘realization’ I’ve experienced is that after crossing that line with a friend, we realized there wasn’t anything left gravitating us to the idea of dating, or the guy realized it while I still wanted a relationship thus ending the friendship eventually. The point is, the consummation of a sexual attraction was never my problem– finding the lack of an emotional connection (or at least a less fulfilling emotional connection when in comparison to the physical connection) thereafter is what resulted in not attempting a relationship. 

It’s not like I’d prefer they have some huge fight where they stop being friends, or have sex and it’s forever awkward and sad between them. It’s not like I even was all that excited for the sexy times because as y’all who’ve been following me know, I’m way more into the fluffy stuff, but I just found this sudden backtracking really tedious and aggravating and almost insulting to myself as a viewer. They asked me to become invested in Joey’s emotional connection by stating this is the very first time he’s EVER been in love with someone, and just when I thought the storyline was over–Rachel rejected him and he gracefully moved on–they crunch it into overdrive with Rachel’s sudden attraction and reciprocated feelings, awoken by the physical aspect, but obviously bolstered by her deep friendship and her respect for Joey and how much fun they have together.

I just feel there could have been a better route to take. They could have discovered they have very very different long-term goals, for instance. What if Joey revealed he wants to have a huge family like his mom and dad did and Rachel only wants maybe one more child and that was something Joey couldn’t let go of? Or what if kind of the reverse happened, and Joey felt too unsure and insecure about being a kind of step-father to Emma instead of just the fun uncle? What if they even moved up the storyline of Rachel moving to Paris so that it could become a source of conflict that breaks up Joey and Rachel because neither is willing/capable of moving for the others’ job? (I mean, I personally feel like there’s ways these could be circumvented or ways Joey would react that would be to give Rachel anything because he loves her so damn much and so they’d make it work, but that’s my Woman is His Sun and Stars and Moon kink showing. But these are all viable options instead of the stupid sexual disconnect direction. So I would take none of these preferably, but if I had to choose, I’d take these over the sudden sexual chemistry retcon.)

And if they really wanted to peg in the idea that Ross is Rachel’s “lobster” and visa-versa (even though, let me take a minute to gag as an anti-Ross person), why wouldn’t they, instead of retconning the sexual attraction, retcon the notion that Rachel and Joey are a better match for each other, since they simultaneously were enforcing that Ross and Charlie were better matches for each other? I think that bothers me a lot, too. That the events leading up to all four of these people essentially SWITCHING PARTNERS were used to flash in big bright signs “RACHEL & JOEY ARE MORE COMPATIBLE” and “CHARLIE & ROSS ARE MORE COMPATIBLE” and then this was just completely taken back?? So what if they instead had explored that how similar they were became an issue because there were too many negative similarities? Like perhaps they both had crippling debt problems, both forgot important dates, both were clumsy, both bad at making important decisions and therefore it being stressful together… I know that sometimes all it felt like I had in common with my ex was the negative aspects of our personalities, and even though I still have feelings that he was my soul mate (maybe we get more than one; either that or I was just wrong but I’m just saying, I felt strongly compatible) perhaps that kind of negative head-butting of similarities is just too destructive, no matter how many positive similarities are present in conjunction. 

Lastly though… I sometimes think the fact they went with the sexual flop route was really perhaps the only way they could back out in getting the characters to have any ‘real’ problem. Like I said above, there’s so many ways Joey would have acquiesced to make Rachel happy because he is that selfless and his love for her is just that supportive and unconditional. And there’s so many ways they’re compatible. So perhaps they went with this route because it was the only legitimate cop out they could make, sadly. Like they worked themselves into this corner and built them up to synthesize together so well, but then suddenly realized it wasn’t their endgame and so had to slap on a problem that actually didn’t exist in order to weasel out of how much sense it made. Hmmmm… Kinda sounds like ALL my OTP’s writers (Gimple & Co with Bethyl, Kishimoto and his editors with NaruSaku, Chris Carter’s vehement resistance to having an MSR storyline) have this weird affliction that makes them give too much chemistry and compatibility to these characters and then they panic and don’t know how to go back. I hereby propose the members of my fandoms and I start funding research for a cure to this affliction.

By the way, I read up on some of this, and I know the actors had some reservations based on how the audience was reacting to the pairing. I KNOW the generation watching this show as it aired and the overall society zeitgeist was dead-set on Ross and Rachel. I understand this. I’m just saying that in hindsight, Joey and Rachel made more sense to me, and I just don’t have a lot of respect for how that was concluded, even if I was excited to see it given a chance at all. I ultimately believe Joey and Rachel is the better, healthier, more sweet, more fun and more empowering direction for Rachel and I even believe that if it had been airing for this generation, perhaps it would have ended in Joey/Rachel. 

But who cares what the canon is? NOT ME, I NEVER CARE. And I’m probably gonna draw Joey and Rachel being happy when I get the time. LOLZ

anonymous asked:

Do Malkavians only have their derangement and nothing else? Or they get the little "crazy" they are known for? I thought of Jeanette and how she acted all cuckoo but is that just an act to hide her real derangement? If we don't count it they are technically as normal as any vampires can be right?

Malks aren’t stupid, they’re just clinically insane. 

They can hide their derangement (they mustn’t know how the world really is.. through my perception, else they’ll manipulate me!), they can fake a derangement, and they can obviously fake their clan too. A Malkavian doesn’t need the speech pattern or the marginal lifestyle though. They don’t need to “feel” crazy to be clinically insane. 

Basic psychology for derangements are Personality Disorders and Behavioral Disorders. Personality disorders are the hardest to hide because the brain keeps sending signals (try hiding away your Paranoia)… Behavioral disorders can be faked though (OCD mostly but not only, tho it’s hard to fake it). They’re hard to “fake away” though. The thing is most of the time the malkavian is lucid and fairly coherent in their actions and in their nightly lives.

Also, I think I worked on this thing further in the Malk how to.

The main problem with Malks and their derangement is that they’re usually badly played. You need to find balance between playability, the real effects of the disorder, and of course, the fact that it is, in fact, a flaw. A crippling, dangerous flaw. The problem we have as players is that the list of “insanities” is ever evolving. Until not too long ago, homosexuality WAS a derangement, after all. With today’s state of science (and considering everyone’s labelling themselves on Tumblr), everyone’s got issues. Malks need to push them further but they don’t need to become comic-book villains either.

Jeanette and Therese are very complicated (VTMB spoilers under the read more!)

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Basically don't be rude, why don't even need to write this out

Ok, post on consent and disability, and then I have to take out the dog.
Abled people do not seem to comprehend that there is a power dynamic involved in how they interact with disabled people, even if they don’t know the person they’re talking to is disabled. This is amplified when Abled people try to “help” disabled people WITHOUT PERMISSION.
I am the only person at my job who uses a mobility aid, but I don’t think I’m the only disabled person. Yesterday we went on a work retreat to a place that was not accessible. I do not like people touching me in general (Cept for like. 3 people) and really don’t like people moving me or touching my aids. Things that happened:
-putting my wheelchair in the car, and the chair being taken out of my hands and carried for me without people asking
-someone trying to pop the back of my chair up over a curb without them telling me/asking me
-“soooooo….you never told me what’s wrong with you”
-a weird venue change thing, we were supposed to go to a different place but there were a lot of stairs so I said, it was ok to still go, I’m just very slow on stairs, but they decided to not listen to me, and it’s hard to explain but why even ask me if you’re not gonna listen
-movement and walking based games that singled me out a bunch
-pushing me without my permission and getting my front wheel stuck and the carpet and throwing out my back, which could have easily been avoided if THEY DIDNT MOVE ME WITHOUT ME KNOWING and I am hurting a lot today, you jerks
-a huge talk at lunch about my celiacs and then someone said my food wasn’t gluten free but it was but I got really scared and anxious because they don’t understand how very real this is for me so I went to the bathroom and cried a little

And this was all within like 7 hours.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that even if those people were well meaning, the impact was I was made to feel like I couldn’t do shit for myself, unheard, singled out, and infantilized. I’m a professional! I specialize in harm reduction approaches to working with dually diagnosed LGBTQ youth! And even if I wasn’t, I deserve to feel like a normal member of the staff, not a child who can’t take care of them self. I felt those power dynamics in an extreme way. So like. Think about what you’re doing? Ask people for fucking permission before you touch them?? Have some human fucking decency???

6

I’m so sick of hearing “why is she pretending to be disabled” “she must’ve stolen that mobility scooter” “I saw her using crutches the other day she doesn’t need a wheelchair” “are you sure she’s not just doing it for attention?” “She can move her legs, she’s not disabled!” Etc.

Do you really think I would sacrifice my independence to fake being disabled? Do you really think I’d pretend to be ill in stead of working meaning I can hardly afford to eat? Do you really think I would spend so much money on all these stupid things? Give up showering/bathing every day? Wear these awful looking very uncomfy splints? Make it so I can’t even get to my lessons? Put myself through all the physical and mental pain of not being able to walk?

No I am not paralysed. Yes I am disabled. Disabled does not mean paralysed. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, chronic fatigue and chronic pain. Just rolling over in bed makes multiple joints come out. I can walk a couple of metres, but it’s extremely painful, extremely exhausting and often extremely dangerous. Why should I put myself at that risk because I’m not “disabled enough” for you.
When a footballer falls to the floor screaming in pain because their leg or arm or whatever dislocated? That happens to me countless times a day while doing ridiculously mundane tasks, I don’t scream, I put it back in place and get on with my life. Do I need to start screaming each time for you to understand? Because I promise you it hurts just as much.

I’ll give you a walk through of my average day just around the house. I wake up and I’m still more exhausted than you’ve probably ever been. I desperately try to go back to sleep as the pain and exhaustion are so overwhelming. After about an hour of trying to go back to sleep I give up and have to roll over. Then I realise if I stay in bed a minute longer I’m going to wet myself as the neck of my bladder isn’t held up correctly. So I have to walk five metres with my walking stick to the loo, often screaming or crying in the process. Then I have to try and get my shorts/leggings/whatever down without dislocating something or falling over, all the while trying not to wet myself. Once I actually manage to pee I sit there for about ten minutes because I can’t see properly or I can hear the blood in my head or just generally because I can’t make it back to bed. I can’t even brush my teeth most of the time. When back in bed I spend about two hours staring at a plate of food trying to force myself to eat but it’s so. Damn. Difficult. But if I don’t eat, I can’t take my pain meds and I’ll also get ill. Then an hour eating less than a toddlers size meal. No knives and forks though, oh no because I can’t hold them. Then I have to take seven pills. I spend about another hour begging to fall back asleep but I can’t. Then the pain meds kick in and I’m in a lot of pain but no longer agony. I get my carer to make me two hot water bottles, I can’t do it myself as I can’t hold the kettle and it would take me twenty minutes to get to the kitchen. I then decide if I should try to get changed today, normally a no because it’s too difficult. I can’t ask my carer for Help as she already complains about having to do so much. I watch netflix despite being too exhausted to pay attention. I do five minutes of physio with a yoga ball, then pass out. Wake up again and find a cold dinner lying there. Don’t eat it and feel guilty as fuck. By this stage I would’ve been up a few hours and gone to pee at least ten times. Gets to about 7pm. Wonder if whether another day ontop of the couple of weeks I’ve gone without washing will make a difference. How am I supposed to get up and down stairs safely? I don’t. Let’s say today is that day. I struggle up the stairs. Get to the top and spend say ten minutes trying to breathe normally again and work hard to keep my eyes open. Sit down in the bath to wash my hair badly then let the bath fill around me. Given up on shaving my legs etc as while I love super smooth skin, it’s difficult, dangerous and time consuming. I spend about ten minute in the bath then realise I just want to get back in bed because it hurts so much and I’m so so tired. Get out and spend half an hour drying and putting on a dressing gown. Go downstairs. Fall over in the process, I’ve fallen in every way imaginable now. Get back in bed. Wish I had the energy to play with my pets. Sometimes try, furthering the pain and exhaustion. I lay in bed for the rest of the day wishing I could just sleep.

On other days I also have to juggle the hospital, bank, supermarket etc.

How dare you say I’m not disabled enough. I go to hell and back every day and I’m fucking amazing for surviving. Fuck all of you ableists. Fuck you all.