John’s sash is gone too that’s so odd. DON’T JUST DROP THE YELLOW SUIT THING man this episode is so good i cant even.

Ohhh dem spiders are up to someeethinggggg.


“We’re not exactly crime fighters. We specialise in search and rescue.” “International Rescue. It’s there in the name.”

HEHEHE the piratesssss. “International Rescue you got ‘ere fast! That’s five star service that is!” Is one of those pirates John’s voice.

OH MAN THE SPIDERS ARE GONNA TAKE IT APART man this is up there on the fav episodes list

Seattle ‘superhero’ unmasked, uncharged after arrest
Self-proclaimed Seattle ‘superhero’ Phoenix Jones, a vigilante crime-fighter accused of assault, made his first court appearance on Thursday, but prosecutors have so far declined to charge him.

The onetime mixed-martial-arts competitor whose real name is Benjamin Fodor was arrested on Sunday after police said he pepper-sprayed a group of innocent nightclub patrons he believed were involved in a street brawl downtown.

He was jailed briefly on suspicion of four misdemeanor counts of assault and released on US$3,800 bail.

He showed up for a brief hearing on Thursday in Seattle Municipal Court wearing a pinstriped shirt and his black-and-yellow mask, which he removed at the request of a court officer. He donned it again as he left the courtroom. (Nicole Neroulias/Reuters)

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

Not a bad career option because you’ll finally get to go in the teachers’ lounge. Plus, summers off!
But remember the old adage, “Kids can be so cruel.” Or, remember the newer adage, “Kids can be so good at drawing pictures of you that highlight your deepest insecurities and get everyone in the class to shriek with laughter, even the quiet kid with no friends.”

If you find you have a real talent for law, you could probably keep yourself out of jail regardless of the crime. If you find you don’t have that much talent, at least you’ll be in a better position to know a good lawyer than the average criminal.

But there’s one obvious downside: getting too involved in your trial and causing the murderer to add you to his list.

Pro Athlete
Not only will your paycheck be in the millions, but there’s bound to be extra income from the autographs you sell on ebay.

But you’ll to have to get in shape. And wearing Shape Ups won’t be enough. You’ll have to lift weights, go running all the time, and stop having “beer and cake Fridays.”

Thrones, peeled grapes, crowns that have nothing to do with Burger King? This job has it all!

But “all” does include some bad stuff. You can’t play chess anymore because it’ll remind you too much of work. Plus, your younger brother will spend a lot of time trying to kill you and he might be good at it.

Crime Fighting Robot

You’ll get to shed your weak mortal flesh for steel, live forever, catch criminals with ease, and get your picture in the paper all the time.

But, people might say you look like a toaster behind your back.

Almighty God
If you’ve always wanted to sleep on a cloud, this is the job for you. With a snap of your fingers you can create life, more clouds, and new cute animals like the Forever-Puppy or the Poopless Cat.

But, you often won’t get credit for your work. People will say it’s “a coincidence” after you spend all this time putting the image of Mary onto a grilled cheese. And even if they do give you credit, they won’t really talk about what a talented artist you are.

[Clara Morris is a comedian living in Brooklyn. Check out her other writing on CollegeHumor and twitter .]

Juana Galán was known for beating Napoleon’s troops out of her village during the Battle of Valdepeñas in June, 1808. There weren’t enough men to defend the village from invading French. Juana, 21, immediately rallied all of the women in the village. When the French troops marched in, the women dumped boiling oil on top of them. Juana stood in the street with a large club and beat any French soldier that crossed her path. 

Okay but Alex meeting Maggie and getting all flustered and stutter-y,

and Kara looking on like, “wtf?” 

and then, “oh my god” 

and then immediately moving past the revelation that Alex’s is gay to,

 “Now it’s my turn to tease her for being awkward!”