crime noire

crime noir voice: all the different body parts of this crazy place we call earth and i had to end up in the ballsack. the ballsack of the world. the ballsack town. one night after i’d already finished my beer and was chewing on the glass a steaming hot plate full of cigarettes and trouble walked in my door. she had legs in all the right places

Mystery/Detective themed starters
  • “Haven’t seen you in this hole for a while… who’s missing today?”
  • “You detectives are always so serious.”
  • “You were seen at the scene of a murder last night and I want to know why.”
  • “There’s a hurricane coming for you, detective.”
  • “I need your help finding someone. It’s important.”
  • “Your case is low priority, there are other things I need to do first.”
  • “In this town, not even your blood’s sacred.”
  • “You’re going to get yourself killed if you don’t back off, detective.”
  • “You’re not taking this seriously.”
  • “You think you’re a badass? I once slept in a van full of dead bodies to get the jump on a perp. You’re a kitten compared to me.”
  • “This city’s a hard place to live. Don’t let it change you.”
  • “If you want to be one of us, be ready to leave your family and friends behind. People will hurt them to get at you if you keep them close. It’s just how things are.”
  • “The eye that never sleeps is on your tail, (name). Pack up and get gone before they get you.”
  • “You’re a wasp among honeybees, detective (name). We’d have a better use for you, if you’d let go of your damn righteousness.”
  • “Your fingerprints were found at the scene of a crime. Why were you there?” 
  • “…you were the mole?”
  • “You’ve been feeding them information the whole time?”
  • “I can’t give up on this case.”
  • “I wont give up on you.”

Hey, @that-one-ninja-fan!! I’m your Secret Santa! I hope you don’t mind a surprise reveal! It’s a little off topic, so sorry about that.

I summoned the color palette of @terriblenerd and did my best to make a magical shoujo light show with one very “Oopsie doodles!” TIkki. I’m really pleased with this! I pushed myself in an entirely different coloring direction, and I think it paid off.

I hope your holidays are treating you super well, you super sweetheart! It was a pleasure to draw for you!