crime mob crime mob

Sonny Franzese was a member of the Columbo crime family. It is estimated that he has killed between 30-50 people. At one point, Sonny decided to share some tips with a newly inducted Columbo crime family member, but that new member was actually working with the Feds and recorded said conversation. Some of the killing techniques shared by Sonny included:
-he would put clear nail polish over his fingerprints before killing anyone to avoid leaving prints at the crime scene
-he would always wear a hair net to avoid leaving hair at a crime scene
-he would use a kiddie pool to dismember a corpse in, dry body parts in a microwave and use an industrial grade garbage disposal to dispose of the corpse.


Prompt List: Criminals/Gangs/Crime

“You can’t just piss off every gang in the city and expect to get away scratch free!” 

“I told you when you joined. The only way out is in a body bag.”

“You still have all your fingers, but that can easily be fixed.”

“I don’t think you understand. See, this is my town. I’m in charge and that means I get to do what I want.”

“If you don’t want your cold bloody corpse to be found in some ditch off highway 17, follow me and don’t say a word.”

“This can go one of two ways. Either you tell me what I want to know or I beat you to a bloody pulp and then you tell me what I want to know.”

“Make a decision. Give up the location or swim with the fishies.”

“We can do this the hard way or the easy way. So, tell me, what’s it going to be.”

“If you don’t want your balls chopped off and delivered to your mothers doorstep by morning, you’ll tell me where they are!”

“I don’t get you. One day you’re chopping off some dudes finger like it’s nothing and the next you’re helping old grannies across the street and picking up liter!”

“I’m not saying you can’t shoot him. I’m just saying you can’t shoot him here.”

“How unfortunate. You got blood on my new tie.”


Another crossover no one asked for.

I’m trying to add to the list of crossover/AUs that still involve comedy.

anonymous asked:

could I get some prompts where someone who used to be in the mafia tried to leave/escape and got caught and captured, and are now being interrogated by the boss?

1) “Tell me,” the boss said curiously. “Did you really think you’d be able to get away?” They took a seat opposite, impeccable compared to the protagonist’s battered state. 
“I had to try.”
“Why? Did I mistreat you during your time here?”
No. No, it wasn’t that simple. But they jutted their chin up and stayed silent all the same. 
The boss sighed and gestured for the security to be a bit more persuasive.

2) “I admire you, I really do,” the boss said as they circled the protagonist. “Your resilience, your ruthlessness. I never liked you, but I could…” they caressed the knife along the protagonist’s jaw while they moved behind them, “appreciate you. I’m afraid I can’t quite appreciate your disloyalty though.” They slid a knife under the protagonist’s chin, tipping their head back as they stopped behind them. “Do you think if I skinned your pelt off that a leopard might change its spots? Or should I just kill you?” 
“I doubt you’d admire me so much with no skin. I wouldn’t want to deprive you.”
“Are you as quick on my secrets as you are on your backchat?” 
“Ahh, so that’s why you haven’t killed me yet.” 

3) “I know why you tried to leave,” the boss said. “I know who you’re informant is,  and I know where you were planning to run. Do you really think I don’t know everything that goes in my circles? You poor, dear child.” 
“Why am I still alive?” The punishment for treason was death. If they knew everything, was this a bluff? “You know, nobody’s going to come for me.” That was the only reason they could think of for their survival - as a bait. But this had been the only family the protagonist had ever known, there was no one else who would care. Not enough to come. They’d risked everything. They did their best to keep their voice from quivering - they’d been trained better than that. 
“If you wanted out, a break, you should have come to me.”


commoners, commoner