It’s April 1st. I did not plan on finishing this today but I did. There’s an obvious line about hitsuzen here for you to make, but I can’t because I’m busy caring too much about CLAMP ;…; Put me out of my misery. Or if you’re going to be at ECCC next weekend, come by tables C6-7 and come cry with me.
Which Doumeki is this??? UP TO YOU. This is obv. long-term Watanuki since he’s all fabulous and smoking.
(for those playing along at home, this is also my March Drawterry challenge, using the words glow, eyeball, cherry blossoms.)
Fitz thinks of all the evenings he longed for her, ashamed of both his lust and his love. He can still feel the ache he buried so deeply within himself it became part of his genetic makeup. He remembers lying on his bed in a cramped bunk, the quiet whir of the plane bleaching to white noise, thinking: I love you and I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me. He remembers the traitorous prayer, washing over him each night as he faded into sleep, when he was at his most vulnerable and could no longer fight it: But please, please love me back.
He thinks of this and wonders how he could have been so naïve. He’d had so little experience of the world; he didn’t know it was possible to share a bed with someone you loved with your whole heart and still feel empty and alone. He didn’t know it was possible to receive everything you’d ever wished for, only to watch yourself slowly tear it all to shreds.
Maybe things would be different if they weren’t in some mysterious space prison. Maybe on Earth there could be therapy and indefinite leave to a cottage in Perthshire. He imagines it, sometimes, when he feels he deserves the extra punishment. Jemma would smile—like she used to, not this small brittle expression she gives him now, as if he’ll shatter at any moment.
Here they’ve all been separated. He hears murmurings from the guards occasionally, a whispered mention of “Coulson” or a sneering, contemptuous “Little Ms. Quake.” A part of him can’t wait until they’re free and Daisy makes their captors pay, but mostly he keeps his head down and hands Jemma the tools she needs.
As far as he can tell, the menial labor they do only serves to keep this ship/station/rock thing in space. Still, he can’t help the tremors that run through him at the idea that his work, however inconsequential, could be supporting something horrible and he has no idea. He had refused, at first, which landed him in solitary confinement with no food or water until Jemma had been allowed in his cell to beg.
“We’re just keeping ourselves alive,” she’d said. “I can’t find any evidence that what we’re doing in the lab is hurting anyone.”
At his silence she had grabbed his hand. “I promise, and if I’m wrong it’ll be my burden to bear.”
And when he still didn’t respond, she had forced him to look at her and she had cried. “You can’t do this to me,” she said. “You can’t kill yourself like this.”
So now his days follow a steady, unvarying rhythm he’s never before experienced: a shrill, station-wide alarm in the morning, a quick shower, toast and butter with Jemma and a ridiculous number of guards, mindless work in the lab, a thirty-minute lunch break, rotations to fix a keyboard or the wiring in a door panel, dinner with Jemma and a second group of guards, and then lights out in their room.
He has the side of the bed near the wall, and every night he curls as far away from her as he can manage. During the day, they work together seamlessly. Sometimes they even joke, and sometimes he looks at her and for half a second believes they’re back home in their lab, happy and in love, before everything fell apart.
But at night their bodies are too close and he’s never felt more alone. She cries when she thinks he’s asleep, silently, her body barely moving.
He wants to extend a hand and touch her. He wants to hold her and tell her everything will be okay. But he would be lying, and at any rate, he’s lost the right. So he listens to her cry and bites down on his knuckles, hard, to keep himself from reaching for her. Eventually, her shaking subsides into the tortured breathing of her nightmares, and he lets sleep force him under as well.
Every morning he wakes before her to find himself tangled up in her limbs, as if he’s drowning and she’s his life raft, and he hates himself for it.
Summary: The RFA+V+Saeran are in high school and they have a crush on MC, however, she has a ‘perfect’ boyfriend, only one day they find out the abuse behind it all.
This contains; Physical Abuse, drug use, emotional abuse, manipulation, broken RFA hearts, a lot of hugging, crying, cussing, and angst.
POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING
Yoosung was never the type to fall in love easily. Despite all his cries about being ‘forever alone’, he was, in a way, popular among the girls in high school. Even with the many confessions he received, he always turned them down.
However, that didn’t mean Yoosung didn’t have his eyes on someone. He did, MC had his attention. Unfortunately, MC was already with someone and this poor boy was in love with her. It pained him to see her with Ji Sung, he was practically the complete opposite of Yoosung in a physical sense, he was rather tall, he had handsome features, as well he was overall more manly than Yoosung.
Though it did hurt Yoosung, she looked happy with him. So happy. Who was he to say they couldn’t be together? He would just need to man up and get over it. That is the most he could do.
Yoosung dropped his head on the desk. Why was studying so tiring? Every day, Yoosung would just head towards the library and study for an hour or two. He sat back up straight, stretching his arms as far apart as possible. Looking around at an empty library, he decided to take a quick break. Standing up, Yoosung wandered around the library to stretch out his legs. While walking around, he stops at the window. Peering out the window and examining the outdoors, Yoosung let his mind wonder.
I wonder what MC is doing...
Yoosung’s eyes wandered all over the scene, his attention soon landing on something suspicious. Was that a drug deal? Who are they? Wait, is that Ji Sung?! Now, this really has Yoosung’s attention. Pulling out his phone, getting ready to call MC to warn her about this, only to stop when he saw MC run into the scene.
She goes up to him, obviously yelling at him about the drugs. He starts yelling too, it was almost like there was pure anger on his face. This doesn’t seem like the first time this happened.
MC rushes towards him and yanks the drugs out his hands, throwing it on the ground. There was a moment of silence, soon Ji Sung had angry written all over his face. He went fucking ballistic. He started jabbing his finger into her chest, then, taking a step back and raising his hand, that is what set Yoosung off. He just ran out there, leaving his items behind, though that didn’t matter what mattered was MC.
Yoosung ran so fast, faster than he thought he could ever run. MC never felt farther than she does now. Yoosung was honestly terrified, what if he was too late? What if she was badly injured? God, he would blame himself for not being able to protect her.
He finally got there. Almost out of breath, but he arrived. However, the scene in front of him made him forget all about his breath. There, MC was sitting on the ground with Ji Sung towering over her with a fistful of her hair, Yoosung felt himself boil over.
Ji Sung looked over at Yoosung with an annoyed expression, “What do you want punk?” he intimately says, letting go of MC’s hair to put his hands in his pockets.
Completely ignoring him, Yoosung went over to MC to help her up.
“T-thank you…” she stuttered out.
“Hey! I asked you a question!"
Oh yeah, Ji Sung exists.
Yoosung glares at him, "I don’t have to answer someone who has no respect for anyone or themselves.” Ji Sung once again lost it and punched Yoosung. That was the time, Yoosung sprung into action and jabbed his fingers in Ji Sung’s eyes. Then, grabbing MC, he started running away, ignoring Ji Sung’s cries.
After some running, he and MC ended up back in the library. Both of them out of breath, they dropped down in a chair. For a moment, it was almost peaceful, with the only thing that could be heard is their heavy breathing.
This 'peace’ was interrupted by the elephant in the room. Yoosung.. just had to know what was going on.
“MC.. tell me. Please tell me what Ji Sung has been doing…” Yoosung looked at MC, feeling his heart being poked at when he saw the sad look on her face. MC took a deep breath and began.
“Ji Sung has been… recently been doing drugs… and h-he has become rather violent with me…” MC muttered,“T-this isn’t the first time this has happened… just this time you were there.” MC rested her head in her hands, letting the tears finally fall down, “Oh god Yoosung, what am I going to do? I want to leave him so bad, b-but I can’t leave him in this state. Fuck, he even told me h-he’d be lost without me a-and if I really care about him I’d-” Yoosung stood up suddenly, quickly walked towards MC, and pulled her into a hug. He couldn’t hear her talk anymore, it was too much. It would just break him to hear her blame herself. He just couldn’t hear it.
“You deserve so so much better MC…"He started crying, still telling MC over and over again how she doesn’t deserve this and she could do so much better. She cried with him, rubbing her face on his shoulder. They were both a mess, a sobbing mess, both of them.
”M-MC?“ a voice was heard in the distance. MC pulled back from Yoosung, staring at the man a few feet away from them.
"J-Ji Sung?” her eyes widened and fear was written all over her face, “T-this isn’t what it looks like! Please believe me!”
Ji Sung didn’t respond, instead, he went to her and hugged her. It made Yoosung’s stomach turn. Yoosung just wanted to beat the living shit of Ji Sung and then take MC out of there. No matter how much he wanted to. He just couldn’t.
“I-I’m so sorry MC, please forgive me. Please take me back..” Ji Sung’s cries made Yoosung feel so angry, how on earth do you think she would forgive-
“Shh… It’s okay. I forgive you, I’m not leaving yet."
"I’ll c-change I promise.”
“Thank you. Keep that promise, please. That’s all I wanted to hear.”
“M-MC? What are you doing? He so awful to you!” Yoosung felt his mind cloud up with confusion and desperation.
“Yoosung,” MC turned back around and looked at him in the eyes, “thank you for comforting me. I owe you one.” With that, they both left leaving Yoosung behind, broken hearted.
Ji Sung and Yoosung were opposites physically, however, there was one thing they had in common. They were both so so stupid when it came to MC.
Author’s Note: I’m surprised by a number of likes I got on the previous one! I feel so motivated to continue and finish this series now. Thank you all for taking the time to read it. I’ll take any constructive criticism I can get!
Tagging @serensama for inspiring me to write this series.
Thank you so much for reading this and I hope you enjoyed.