cries to herself

In the Blood: Part One

Originally posted by thestylesalbum

Part One: Portsmouth


Great Britain, October 1940


Carolina Johnson chewed anxiously on her worn thumbnail as she watched the Artemis pull into the dock at Portsmouth. Around her, October winds whipped her shoulder-length brown hair without mercy, bringing in the taste of saltwater and chilling her down to her bones. There weren’t many people out – Carolina could count on one hand the number of families lingering around the harbor waiting for the naval ship to dock. Most of the Dunkerque evacuees had arrived way back in May, some unscathed and too many in caskets or with life-altering wounds. Carolina knew this because she’d driven all the way to Portsmouth in May as well, heart in her hands as the last soldier exited the ship and Alex was still nowhere to be seen. She’d cried herself to the point of sickness that day, vomiting into the sea water with a shaky hand clutching onto a wooden post, the nauseating smell of salt and fish not doing anything to calm her stomach. It wasn’t until mid-June that she finally heard from Alex, a week after the naval ships stopped bringing in evacuees and she had resigned herself to prepare for the inevitable news of Alex’s death. They weren’t married, not yet, but as they got engaged three weeks before Alex’s deployment in September of 1939, she would be the first to know after his family if something happened to him.

You’re only nineteen, Carolina, her mother had argued over the phone, worry etched into her voice over the crackly connection between Leicester and Alabama, all the way back in the states. Why are you putting yourself through this? Let him go and when he comes back, if he comes back, y’all can start planning your lives together. Don’t you understand that about war, Carolina? All it brings is disaster and destruction… Don’t get yourself caught in the middle of that.

Naturally, Carolina chose not to listen.

Keep reading

scarlet-amaryllis  asked:

attic for luke or mc, maybe? :0

Two of my favorites!! Thank you <3


Attic: 

What is the character afraid of? 

Luke: Losing someone else he cares about again. He really punishes himself for this in his Main Story, which is why he becomes to dedicated to his surgeries.

MC: Not being good enough. I think regardless of what route you pick, MC struggles with not being good enough for the Bidder she’s with. 

How do they deal with bad memories? 

Luke: It’s pretty clear that Luke doesn’t deal with his bad memories in a healthy way. He doesn’t sleep or eat properly, and he throws himself into his work.

MC: She puts on a brave face and pushes her own thoughts about them aside, choosing only to address them in private. She usually cries herself to sleep, the poor bean.

What is this character’s role in a horror movie? 

Luke: The medic. He patches up the rest of the crew, but he doesn’t do much to fight on his own accord. If it’s a zombie movie, he’s likely the type to hide the fact that he’s been infected. 

MC: The morale. She keeps everyone’s spirits up and encourages the leader if they are facing doubt.

How do they hide their secrets? 

Luke: With apathy. You wouldn’t expect someone with such a blank face and with so little outwardly emotion to be hiding a secret, now would you?

MC: With a smile. She charms and reassures everyone so well, they don’t realize she’s hiding something.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins does the character relate to most?

Luke: I can see him identifying with envy. Though he doesn’t show it, he’s certainly jealous of people who are in control of their lives, who are able to love unabashedly. It’s because he lost that part of him long ago that he looks at others with envy.

MC: she would definitely identify with pride. She’s a caretaker, so she would never want to be in a position where she has to rely on someone else so much, which is why she often hides her true feelings from the Bidders. 

Male writer: This female character that I’m writing has a deep dark secret.

Male writer: Something so horrible that she can’t tell a soul…

Male writer: This female character has literally the saddest back story anyone could ever imagine and no man could ever love her because of it and she cries herself to sleep every single night because she’s such a monster.

Male writer: She’s……………… infertile.

10

Part of me is like bring this bitch back because she’ll be going next week, I don’t fucking care. Regardless of what happened today, this week, whatever… I’m going to win. 

The gods are among us.

Zeus drinks himself half to death at the bar. He makes bedroom eyes at every pretty girl to walk in the room. They will clutch their cans of mace a little tighter as they walk home tonight.

Aphrodite helps a beaten girl to her feet, holding her tight as her young body is racked with sobs. Artemis stands nearby, preparing to hunt the thief of this young girl’s innocence. These are the only hunts she participates in anymore.

Athena glares at Ares as bloody knuckles and booted feet connect with battered bodies between them. The fight clubs are their temples now.

Dionysus stands behind a bar, serving drinks to rowdy men and pretty girls. Later, he will be found holding back the hair of girls, too young for the drinks they swallowed, as they vomit the concoctions they drank to forget the pain in the world. Dionysus understands and so he drinks more than anyone, if only to forget the suffering that has filled his immortal life.

Hestia mourns the numerous broken homes. She puts extra effort in protecting the scant few happy families left. So Hestia has created a home for those lost and abandoned, for she too knows how it feels to be cast out by the family who should have loved you unconditionally. She understands what it feels like to be adrift and homeless.

Apollo sits on a busy, crowded street, strumming his guitar and singing a song of loss and pain. He uses poetry and music to mourn the pain in the world. He berates himself constantly, because for every life he saves, ten more are extinguished. He has stopped visiting hospitals because he can’t help but feel his efforts are futile. He hasn’t seen his sister in years, and he misses her most at night, when he can see her beloved stars and moon.

Hermes slumps in a chair, exhausted from the horror gracing the human news. He decides he is no longer deserving of the title “messenger of the gods,” since he hasn’t delivered a message in centuries. Not when the gods no longer keep in touch. So he reverts to his favorite pastime: stealing. But what use is mortal money to a god?

Hera sits in the shadows of a bar and struggles to summon the dredges of the vindictive, jealous anger that used to come so easily to her when she saw her husband with another woman. Hera thinks that perhaps in this modern world, she would do better as the goddess of divorce. Because, really, how can she profess that marriage is the best gift the world has to offer when she can’t even keep her husband in her bed? When he doesn’t even bother pretending that he loves her? Yes, goddess of failed marriages has such a lovely, miserable ring to it.

Poseidon wanders the beach, picking up the scattered trash that poisons his domain. His tears mix with the salt water on his cheeks and he weeps for the suffering of his oceans. He feels the pollution like a phantom pain, and he scoffs at himself, full of loathing for the god of the sea who could not protect his oceans from mortals.

Hades lounges in his extravagant mansion, smiling at his lovely wife curled at his side. Blessed is he, for there will always be death, and mortals will always worship his riches. Of all his siblings, Hades, the scorned brother, cursed to rule the underworld, is the only one to still enjoy immortality.

Persephone is as beautiful as ever and she is happy with her loving husband who always joins her in her protests, right alongside her as she weeps for for the dying of this earth, as she cries herself to sleep at night when she thinks of all the loss of nature’s beauty and life. This world is suffering and she is the only one to hear its cries. They haunt her dreams.

Hecate flips the sign on the window to say closed. She longs for days gone by when people knew the truth. Magic is very real. Instead, she has to smile politely while customers come to her store to purchase items they know not how to use and religious men preach about how witchcraft is a sin, and she will burn in hell. Hecate does not care. She is as immortal as magic.

Cupid narrows his eyes with scorn every time he hears the word love fly from the lips of people who do not understand the meaning of the word. Though who is he to judge them when all his matchmaking attempts end in failure. Perhaps the mortals simple do not want him to decide who they love. Perhaps it is their turn to choose.

Athena prowls through college campuses, holding signs high in protect with the students around her. These fearless children are her people. She scoffs at the professors who are simply going through the motions, who fail to appreciate the brilliant minds all around them. She never fails to notice.

Ares picks his way across a battlefield and finds himself at the ruins of what used to be an elementary school. He no longer understands war, hasn’t for centuries. This was not brave, this was not heroic. This was senseless bloodshed. He sees nothing holy in this ruined world.

Aphrodite swallows the bile in her throat as she hears another rapist has been left free. She glares daggers at boys yelling obscene things at women. She’s long stopped romanticizing love. However, sometimes she sees a young girl handing over her baby to an older couple who tried for years, and she remembers what she once represented. Sometimes she sees Ares across the room of soldiers returning from the horrors of war, and as they embrace the loved ones they left behind, she smiles at him.

Artemis takes her role as protector of young women seriously. There’s a gun tucked into her waistband and a switchblade in her pocket. She can’t save them all, so she has also become an avenging goddess. She can be found in the streets or at battered women’s shelters, preparing for the next hunt.

The gods are dying. The gods wish they were dead. Is immortality a blessing or a curse?

—  The gods were always too human for their divinity (inspired by the writings of @crossroadsbela )
She didn’t want to say but she was falling apart,
she wanted someone to hold her but she was too stubborn to ask.
She will not beg to be loved, she preferred to walk away, to be alone instead.
She mastered the art of faking a smile, a smile that never reached up to her eyes.
Look in them and you will know how they flood every night,
how sorrow and her are lovers that can't stay apart.
She could take all the pain that came her way, will not say a single word,
but couldn't stand to see the look of pity for her in someone’s eye.
She pretended like she didn’t care but she had one of the purest heart,
a heart that deserved nothing but love.
She cared about the people she loved,  because she knew how
it felt like to be unwanted.
But no one cared about her, nobody knew how she smiled during the day
and cried herself to sleep every night.
She was surrounded by so many yet she felt lonely…
What’s worse than feeling alone in a room full of people.
—  heaart-talk
2

That’s actually how they first meet/the first time they start talking and Angie always brings this up during arguments to shut Peggy up (insp)

anonymous asked:

Who is 'Kop'?

You mean THE Kop?  THE Haley Kopmeyer?

Well lemme just tell you a lil’ about this Michigan Native!

Born and raised in Troy, Michigan. Her parents signed her up as a kid to Rec, went to 5 tryouts but didn’t make a team until one needed a back-up.  Eventually became a starter and from then out performed for her team. In high school, she was named to the all-state first team, the all-district first team, the all-conference first team, and all-region first team. She then attended the University of Michigan! Go Blue!

She had a terrific career at Michigan. During her best season, which was her 1st after a season ending injury her freshman year, Kopmeyer led the Big Ten in saves (56), save percentage (.862) and saves-per-game (5.60) during conference play while topping the conference in overall save percentage (.848) and sharing the lead in saves (95). She played in 16 games, making 15 starts and set the school rookie record for shutouts with six.  She was awarded the University of Michigan Athletic Academic Achievement Award for the second year running and earned Academic All-Big Ten honors. 

After 4 incredible seasons, this Michigan product, to her surprise, was drafted 31st overall by the Seattle Reign in 2013. Kopmeyer didn’t believe she’d even be drafted and thus already had plans working somewhere else in marketing. She even watched the 2013 NWSL draft until the 29th pick and stopped there and went to work bc she thought she wasn’t going to be drafted only to get a call from her father to which she started bawling. 

Unfortunately, she was released from the team due to league roster constraints; however she was re-signed by the team for the 2014 season to back up Hope Solo.

In 2014, as back up to Hope, Kopmeyer believed it was a year she and Hope had began their relationship which was ‘massive’ , in her own words, in the sense that she had the opportunity to grow and learn from the best goal keeper in the world. She finally had someone who believed in her and thus from there on out kept improving as a GK. 

On her first ever start in 2014, something only our Kop would do, she went to the wrong goal and so ran the entire field to get to the right one. 

However, she did keep a clean sheet and the unbeaten streak while bringing the club to its fifth shutout in twelve games. Not to mention, some really good saves 

cr: here

Kopmeyer has been the back up since 2014 but in the years 2015-17, she’s taken a bigger role as Hope is in rehab now and taken a break from football. She is now the No.1 and has been putting on stellar performances for the Reign. 

From being rejected as a kid in rec games, to starting in the wrong goal as a professional to being Player of the Week and now Seattle Reign’s No.1, Haley Kopmeyer is a Seattle Reign FC Original and forever a gem to our team. 

P.S follow her Twitter for Gold quality content.

Bonus:

Kop being the most extra and crawling on the airplane floor to find out if Lu was in First Class

This has been a Haley Kopmeyer Appreciation Post. <3.

9

belle in every episode:

going home
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were in here. I’ll just put these flowers down…I’m so sorry. It was a remembrance, wasn’t it? How old would he be? [Well, he’s not dead. He’s just lost.] Lost? […We had a chance to be happy together, but I was afraid.] Maybe it’s not too late.“

Wait For Me To Come Home - Sebastian x Reader - One Shot

Originally posted by mebeingbored1

A/N - Got myself into the little sebby family mood again. Featuring Isabella as always aha.

Sebastian x Reader - You are completely secure in your relationship with Sebastian, until you start reading some articles that make you doubt yourself. Sebastian gets rid of your insecurities by helping you relive some of your memories together.

Warnings: Fluff and angst  - It’s a long one.

Keep reading

You Understand, Right? (Part 6): In My Time of Dying

Characters: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader

Length: 1336+ words

TW: Nothing in this chapter!

A/N: I think this was one of the first chapter I wrote after people asked for a sequel. It has a special place in my heart. 

Feedback is appreciated (AND SO ARE YOU)!

SERIES MASTERLIST


It was a couple of days later when Dean had just gotten ready for bed, his eyes closed in hopes for a couple of hours of sleep when Y/N knocked on his door softly, opening the frame, and calling his name at the same time.

At the sound of her voice, Dean all but leaped into alertness. “Y/N? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She didn’t say anything as she made her way to his bed, sitting on the space he left with her legs crossed. She ignored his watchful gaze as she chewed on her lips. No words could describe her time in hell, but she knew she needed to accept the memory. Without realizing it her breathing became shallower, and just as Dean opened his mouth, she burst into tears.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Dean’s heart ached at the sound of her cries. He circled his arms around her, and pulled her against his chest, his legs resting around her figure. “It’s okay. I’m here. Nothing’s gonna hurt you anymore, you hear?” Tears were stinging his eyes as she cried even louder, despair and grief in every teardrop. He had to physically bite his bottom lip to stop himself from crying as well. “Let it all out, sweetheart. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Dean drew small circles on her bottom hip, his other hand stroking the back of her hair.

It felt like hours later, and it probably was when Y/N had finally stopped completely crying. She sniffled continuously, using the collar of her shirt to clean up the mess on her face.

“I’m gonna get you a glass of water,” Dean said, seeing her finally calming down.

Y/N scrambled to grab his arm, shaking her head, pleading for him not to leave her.

“I won’t be long,” he promised.

Keep reading

the life and times of chloe bourgeois

i.

The rules of the Bee Miraculous are simple:

        1. Your job is to protect the hive and ensure its survival. You’re the queen, the worker, and the drone.

        2. Bees give chase; they never run away.

        3. Remember that your stinger is lethal—to both you and your enemies.

Chloe promises to keep them in mind when she gets the Miraculous, but like most promises in her life, they tend to get broken.


ii.

Chloe often wonders who decided that she was deserving enough to receive the Bee Miraculous. Pollen tells her time and time again that it doesn’t matter—once you’re Chosen, nothing can change that save for dire circumstances. Having created a good percentage of Paris’s akumas, Chloe is sure she’s come close to “dire circumstances” before, but her kwami simply shakes her head and insists that Chloe is worrying for nothing.

“You were chosen for a reason,” Pollen tells her one late evening as she stands on the room of her father’s hotel, staring out over the lit Paris skyline. “You need to stop concerning yourself over what it is and work on living up to it.”

Chloe still wonders.


iii.

Meeting Ladybug and Chat Noir for the first time is a whirlwind of luck and destruction.

Chat Noir narrows his eyes the moment she whizzes into battle, knocking the akuma off the Eiffel Tower, like he’s trying to see right through her. The spark that lights up in his eyes tells her that he might have found something she doesn’t even know she was hiding. In the months following that first battle, she’ll wonder what he saw that night that told him she could be trusted, that let him believe they were meant to be friends.

Keep reading

If I told my 10-year-old self who was mocked for having buck teeth and listened to “Picture to Burn” every afternoon before soccer practice that one day Taylor was going to look her in the eyes and say that she had “the most beautiful smile”, she wouldn’t believe me. 

If I told my 12-year-old self who sang and danced around in her best friend’s room at her first sleepover to “You Belong With Me” that she was going to have a dance party and even body roll with Taylor one day, she wouldn’t believe me. 

If I told my 14-year-old self who sat in the front seat of her mom’s car before her first day of high school with earbuds in listening to “Fifteen” that she was going to thank Taylor for her music one day, specifically during times of worry and stress, she wouldn’t believe me. 

If I told my 16-year-old self who after she received her driver’s license inserted her Red cd into the cd player of her first car before driving home from the DMV that Taylor was going to tell her one day how proud she was of her, she wouldn’t believe me. 

If I told my brokenhearted, 17-year-old self whose only source of joy at the time was 1989 that Taylor’s hugs would one day mend the broken pieces made by the boy on the football team, she wouldn’t believe me.  

If I told my 18-year-old self who cried herself to sleep listening to “Never Grow Up” before her first day of college that Taylor was going to tell her how “lovely” she was one day, she wouldn’t believe me. 

One week ago, 20-year old me met the woman who has been writing the soundtracks to my life for the past 10 years. I am a firm believer that every moment has led up to this-every heartbreak, every coming-of-age moment, every dance party, every anxiety attack, every road trip down PCH, every clean moment. I am still in utter disbelief that I went to LA secret sessions. Every Taylor Swift album holds a unique and intimate space in my heart, but reputation in particular holds the biggest space. My heart is overflowing with sheer happiness and thankfulness. I feel honored to be a fan of such an extraordinary and powerful woman who takes on the world by storm but also feels like my best friend. 

From the bottom of my heart, 

Thank you, Taylor, for everything. 

Love always,

Bella

drunkardonjunkyard  asked:

When Logan found out that the farmhouse was invaded. He saw his clone kidnapped Laura. But he decided to rush upstairs and called out for Charles. He chose Charles over Laura.

It’s just a split second, but god what a terrible, HORRIBLE moment that must have been for him? I mean, to have to make a decision, to go after his daughter who is being dragged away by something wearing his face, or to go after Charles who is (up until Laura) really the only thing left in the world that he cares about…I can’t even imagine that there’s ever been a harder one he’s had to make??? (Maybe at the end of X3, with Jean and the Dark Phoenix?) 

Logan’s life is so full of loss and tragedy and impossible choices…it makes my heart hurt just thinking about it AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

An Aquarius said to me, “I have been here overthinking and so overwhelmed with emotion, but I can’t stress it enough that I have done alot and so much for people, and not once have I got anything back..” and she hasn’t and I watched her go insane until I could finally reach out to hold her and she crashed into my arms and cried herself out of frustration.


An Aries and I would argue from time to time and make herself feel like the victim all the time and I always have to try and lower my pride and apologize and she would always say it’s okay and try to make things work out, but realizing that she was only playing the victim I started to get cold and pushing her away.. she realized and started to move on and try to do the same thing with someone else. She was toxic and I hope nothing but wish her well and grow..


A Cancer wrapped herself onto me and kissed me passionately and held me tightly. She has never felt this kind of relationship and she told me she has never felt anything like this, but she loves what she’s getting from me. Suddenly she started to cry on my chest and held me tightly. She said she was afraid to lose what we had because I have done nothing but be kind and nice to her. Afraid, she slowly to start to spill some of her past and asked me if I was being serious and I held her close to me and rocked her close to me..


A Capricorn and I were out for a long drive. She slowly reached over for my hand and kissed it softly and looked at me. She told me she loved me and continued to watch outside the window as I drove. She was the kind of lover who was taught to keep herself closed and not open up, but when she met me she slowly started to realize that my love was different and she opened herself a little and made me see all her flaws and imperfections and I hated all her exes and how they treated her..


A Gemini and I were taking a walk and I watched her, and listened to her as she talked herself, and I watched her hair flow as the wind picks up, and how she smiled when she gets excited. She laughed when she made a pun, and how she used so many hand motions as she talks. I reached out to take something out of her hair, and she slapped me. Shocked. She stared at me. “You weren’t paying attention to me, again..” she said, with a playful look on her face. But I was. I really was.


A Leo grabbed the controller out of my hand aggressively and pushed me to the side and smirked. She’s always very competitive when it comes to playing video games, and I watched her as she tried to kill every monster in the game. She then laughed and handed the controller back to me and said, “You’re always too soft when you play, you don’t have the drive. You don’t take things slow if you want something done right away. That’s the problem with you. You’re always too soft and too kind, but here I am so in love with your dumbass..” and she jumped on me and tried to order me around as I played.


A Libra played with my hair and watched as I just stared up the ceiling, and she startes to kiss my cheek over and over and tried to get my attention but here she was trying to make me look at her.. I finally stared at me and smiled softly and said, “You’re finally back down from la-la land. Come here and hold me, please?” Pulling herself close to me.


A Pisces opened up to me about her past and how one man did her wrong, so wrong. And to watch her break down and open up something so heavy made it even harder for her to speak and choke on her words to come out. She looked into my eyes and asked me if she was still loveable. To think Pisces would ask something about how she can still be loved is wrong, and I think that it was all wrong. She deserves the love she needs.


A Sagittarius made her way to her room and laughed herself for being a clumsy drunk. Watched her climb up the stairs to her apartment, staggering and excused herself for being this way, and how she told me that she isn’t like this but only when she’s with me, and I think it’s one of the cutest things I’ve been told.


A Scorpio drank herself to sleep, and I watched her closely and made sure she was breathing, but earlier she was talking to me about love. To how her exes were the same, how everything she tried to be their ideal person, and yet she was always pushed away at the end of the day, and she finally said fuck it. She said she was either going to show them all her flaws and imperfections and watch as they leave because one day she will find someone who sees her worth and will love her..


A Taurus loved the idea of getting lost. Getting lost in the city was her favorite, and everything to her was sort of an “adventure” and people asked her why she calls it that. She laughs and tells them that everything is always fun and always continue to search yourself and love, and enjoy each other’s company because all will be too late if things weren’t so sponatneous or words were left unsaid.


A Virgo once said she was care less, and yet she’s sensitive. She feels all to much, yet she hides alot because she doesn’t want to feel like an inconvenience to others. Yet, she looked at the world with strong eyes that she can conquer the world, but she’s afriad to tackle it. She loved so much, yet she was never loved back as much as she gives.. and here she lays in my arms, acting goofy and lost because who knew, who knew she can just fall and not care about everything else when she’s with me.

Opening Up and Observing.

Over Dramatic | Tom Holland

Summary: Pregnant reader gets a little over dramatic when things don’t go her own way when making a special meal Tom and her’s anniversary dinner.

Warning: Like…a few swear words

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Type: Oneshot

MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my first Tom Holland imagine so just excuse the horrible writing and all.


Originally posted by parkery

Today marked Tom and Y/N’s five year anniversary and Y/N wanted to do something special for her husband and father to her future child. She stare down at the instructions in her cook book and followed them step by step. She had never been too good at cooking.

Between Tom filming in Atlanta for Infinity War and him finishing up the press tour for Spiderman: Homecoming, Y/N rarely ever got to see him. But alas, he promised he would be home for their special five year anniversary.

The thought of being able to be with Tom in just a few hours, excited Y/N. She wanted everything to be perfect for his arrival. She called Harrison, Tom’s best mate, and asked him to pick up Tom from the airport while she prepared everything back home. She set up a nice candle lit dinner and was planning on making his favorite dish.

“Add…one cup of oil,” Y/N read from the book, glancing between the book and the dish. She followed the instructions precisely and when she was done, she carefully put the casserole dish into the oven and set a time.

She wiped her hands clean on her apron, her hands brushing over the small baby bump. She made her way into the living room and flopped down onto the couch. Y/N glanced at the clock and made a mental note in her head that the dish needed to be ready before seven.

She had been running all over town today, picking up the ingredients for the dinner and the decorations. So it was no surprise that she fell asleep instantly. She was not awoken by the sound of the oven timer going off, but by the smell of smoke. 

Y/N’s eyes snapped open and she sat up immediately. “Oh shit,” she raced into the kitchen, now seeing the smoke leaking from the oven. She opened the oven and the kitchen was quickly over taken in smoke. With mittens on both hands, she reached inside and grabbed the dish, pulling it out and threw it on top of their stove. “Shit,” she cursed to herself, now staring at the burnt meal.

She kicked the oven door and immediately regretted it. She clutched her foot in pain as she felt tears cloud her vision. Then she remembered:

“The pudding!” She raced over to the refrigerator and threw the door open. She scrunched her nose in disgust before reaching in and pulling out the so called ‘vanilla pudding.’

She had been craving it recently and asked her mother for the recipe. When making it though, it was suppose to turn solid. And now here it lay, liquidized in her sink.

“Shit, Tom’s gonna kill me,” she muttered before pouring the pudding down the drain. As if things couldn’t get any worse, she heard the sound of glass shattering from the dinning room.

She raced over into the dinning room and gazed at the catastrophe in front of her. Tessa, Tom’s dog, held the corner of the table cloth in her mouth and was slowly pulling it backwards, resulting in the dishes sliding off the table and onto the floor.

“Tessa. Stop,” she begged. When she took a step forward, Tessa bolted, dragging the entire setting with her. The sound of all of Y/N’s dishes, crashing to the floor. “No,” she choked back a sob.

She made her way back to the kitchen and opened the wine cabinet. Just her luck, it was empty. Tom had advised her not to drink anything while pregnant, saying it could ‘hurt the baby.’ But now she was desperate. Nothing had gone her way and Tom would be home in a few minutes.

Y/N lean against the countertop and let herself sink to the floor. She hugged her knees and cried to herself. She didn’t even hear the sound of their apartment door opening nor the sound of Tom calling for her.

When Tom walked into the kitchen, he saw his loving wife in a different position on the floor. She lay on her back, against the cool tiles. Her arms and legs spread out as she cried loudly.

“Darling? What’s wrong?” She kicked she right foot slightly in a fit. “Come on, love. Use your words.”

“N-Nothing w-went as planned tonight,” she cried.

“What do you mean by that, love?”

“I was g-going to cook y-your favorite meal but instead, I burnt it,” Tom stepped over her leg and passed the doorway. He went over to stand near her head and he just so happened to look into the sink. 

“What’s this junk in the sink?” When hearing the nickname for her food, she cried even louder.

“It was suppose to be pudding,” Tom raising his eyebrows at her. She brought her hands up and covered her face with them. “I’m such a failure. I wanted tonight to be special and instead, I ruined it.”

Tom knelt down and cupped her tear stained cheek. “Hey, now. Don’t think negative. I’m sure we have something else in this house that we can eat.”

“B-But I wanted for you to h-have a good home cooked m-meal for once. You’ve been working so hard recently. You deserved this and I screwed it up. I am suppose to be a good h-housewife. I am suppose to cook for you. I’m suppose to take care of you,” she sobbed, gazing up into his big brown eyes.

“Well, darling. Nobody’s perfect,” he said, shaking his head. “And you do take care of me, more than you think.”

“How?”

“Well…you keep me going every day you’re not with me. You take care of my parents and brothers for me when I am not around. You,” he gently placed his hand on top of her stomach. “You’re taking care of our child. You’re carrying life!”

Y/N let out a small laugh and sniffed up her tears. Tom brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and continued:

“You are the most amazing, talented, and most beautiful woman I have ever met. I owe you everything,” he praised. He laced his arm around her shoulder and pulled her up into a sitting position.

Tom leaned back against the cupboards and pulled Y/N into his lap. Her forehead tucked into the crook of his neck and her legs draped over his. He rubbed her back with one hand and cradled her thigh in the other. He turned his head and pressed a gently kiss to her head.

“I love you so much. You literally have no idea,” he smiled. Y/N giggled slightly and nuzzled her face deeper into his neck, placing a kiss at the base of his neck.

“I love you too.”

“Happy Anniversary, love.”

Unfaithful: Product of Love (Bill Skarsgård)

PART 6

She stopped in her tracks, looking at Bill with a terrified expression. He had no idea what she had learned in the past few hours, but oh did it ever feel like he did.

“What… what are you doing here?” she asked, almost breathlessly. She was shocked by his presence, tall and domineering as he straightened from his casual position against the light grey wall beside her apartment door.

He slowly walked towards her, closing the gap between them. She bit her lip and crossed her arms under her chest protectively, gripping onto the dark wool fabric with her fingers. His movements scared her, like she was going to spill the truth the second he looked down at her with those pale green orbs. When he did, she finally saw how intense they were. She took a deep breath.

“You haven’t been answering my calls. We were supposed to go out for dinner tonight, remember?” He reminded her, tone a bit angered, “You said that we could talk about this.”

He was very close to her now, only a single person could squeeze through the gap between them if they tried hard enough. The closeness never would have bothered her before, if anything, she would have been desperate for him to be even nearer. She craved the way he touched her, slow and deliberate to quick and hot per her request.

She simply nodded at his remark, knowing that she was in the wrong. “I know, I’m sorry. I left my phone inside the apartment when I went out for a walk. I should have brought it with me,” she apologized, meeting his gaze.

“It’s fine,” he waved her apology off, “Can we please speak now?”

She looked down and gave him a slight nod, unable to watch him as she did so.

She fished her silver keys out from her jacket pocket and stepped to the side, walking around him to get to the door. He turned and followed her, watching as she shoved the key into the lock and twisted it. The metal clicked and she pushed the front door open, stepping into the apartment then holding the door open for him to follow.

He gave her a polite nod and strolled back into his old home, finding that it looked exactly the same. She had not decorated or renovated in the time he had been gone, every piece of furniture still sat in its original spot and she continued to place her coat on the same hook she always had. It appeared as though she had simply moved on without him. It pained his heart.

“Do you want to sit? Maybe in the uh- living room?” she suggested, biting her lip and fiddling with her fingers nervously.

“Sure,” he agreed, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the hook beside hers.

She wandered down the hallway, past the kitchen and into the large living area. She took a seat on the black leather sofa, crossing her legs as she did so. It’s time to face him. Bill appeared not a few moments later in the doorframe, looked at his lover, then sat down opposite to her in a cushioned chair. He leaned back into the plush fabric.

She continued to fiddle her fingers, twisting the two gold rings around her smooth skin in an attempt to distance herself from him.

“Why have you been dodging me?” he broke the silence, causing her to stop what she was doing.

Her whole body went rigid. There was no way she was going to tell him what was going on in her mind - her body. She couldn’t bear to speak about the baby yet. No, she would not say what the exact reason was for her cancellation on this day.

“Why do you think, Bill? You cheated on me,” she said emotionlessly. It was like all of the anger and frustration had left her body, leaving her only with the sad fact: Bill cheated. All of the passion and intensity that occurred when he first told her the news was gone, only two sad and lonely people were left in its wake. She sounded exhausted, no longer in the mood to deal with the situation. It had only been just over a week, but it felt like a lifetime.

“You agreed to a dinner where we could discuss this like adults. Instead, you’ve ignored me all day,” he scolded, earning a sharp look from her.

“Are you seriously going to sit there and tell me that I was acting childish? Really, Bill? I am the child even though you couldn’t keep it in your pants? Makes sense,” she refuted harshly.

He sighed, running a hand through his styled brown locks, “I know. I know that I fucked someone else, but you promised-”

I promised to fucking love you forever and so did you,” she firmly cut him off. “We always spoke about the wonderful future we could have, a cottage, marriage and… children,” she swallowed deeply, knowing that the last fantasy was now a reality, yet not in the way they had hoped for.

He couldn’t stand it anymore, listening to her spell out all these futures as if they were no longer achievable. Despite his actions, he loved her more than anything. He would never feel the same way about anyone else, no matter what that night at the club had shown. He was riled with a passion that forced him to stand, stride around the coffee table and kneel down in front of her.

She looked down at him in awe, lips parted and brows drawn in. Never before had he looked so small, so in need of her affections. Bill, typically the embodiment of honour and loyalty, knelt before her in shame, so desperately sorry for what he had done to her. He took her small hands in his large ones and gave them a squeeze. His head dipped forward and forehead met her knee, leaving him completely bowed to her. He would do anything - anything - it took to get her back.

She allowed him to do this, to hold her hands and bury his face into her jean-clothed legs. Yet she stared down at him in utter confusion, not knowing what had came over him. Faintly, she could hear his sobs. His body soon became wracked with them.

I love you, I love you, I love you,” he cried into her legs. “I am… so sorry, for all the harm I’ve inflicted on you. She meant nothing to me, absolutely nothing. It’s you that I love and always will,” he regretted, finally tilting his head up so his eyes could meet hers.

She took a deep breath, absorbed everything, and tears glazed over her eyes. “Why…” she began, her eyes darting away from his. “Why wasn’t I good enough?” she whispered, so quietly he almost didn’t hear her.

His expression instantly changed into one of worry, eyes wide and lips parted. “No, no, no. Sweetheart,” he soothed her, long fingers moving to wipe the tears that rolled down her cheeks. He felt awful. Somehow, he had made her believe she wasn’t worthy of him, when in actuality, it was him that wasn’t good enough for her.

She sniffled. “She must have been prettier, sexier, taller,” he shook his head repeatedly, but she continued on, “You told me you wanted to get married, spend every single day of the rest of your life with me. You once said that I was the only woman you would want to have your children. What happened, Bill? Why wasn’t I good enough?” She wept, tears now cascading down her beautiful face.

His eyes got wet. “No, Darling. Please. You are perfect,” he assured her, his hold on her hands growing tighter. He stared up at her, pleading for her eyes to meet his.

She yanked her hands out of his and stood. Brushing him aside, she strode to the window, the same one she looked out of one very rainy night not long ago, and clamped a hand over her mouth. Her sobs were muffled as she looked out the window and cried. The sky was grim and dreary. Soon, thunder would begin to rumble and bring an evening shower over Stockholm.

Clearly not,” she retorted, “If I was, why would you want someone else?”

He pushed himself off his knees and rose until he was straight again. “I don’t want anyone else. Do you hear me? No one,” he declared, “You are mine and I am yours.

A package of cigarettes on the desk to her left caught her eye and before she could register what she was doing, she snagged it. Tearing the top off, she fished out a cigarette and stuck it between her lips. She reached down to her pocket in search of her lighter, but froze when she felt it missing. Of course she no longer carried her lighter, she was ashamed that she had forgotten why in the heat of the moment.

Please don’t,” he pleaded, hating himself more by the minute as he watched her prepare to light the smoke.

Completely ignoring Bill, she pulled the cigarette from her lips and dropped it immediately. Her eyes were wide as she fully comprehended what she had almost done. Fresh tears pooled in her eyes and she sniffled, glad the cigarette was no longer between her fingers.

Y/N?” he asked, terrified, as he watched her sink to the floor, hugging her body tightly.

She cried. She cried for herself, Bill and their unborn child. Every emotion she had felt for the past one and a half weeks spilled out of her body in the form of tears.

He fell to the hardwood floor beside her and took her into his arms. She didn’t protest, only allowed him to clutch her smaller body in his strong, long arms. The feeling was comforting yet foreign. She had spent countless nights, received console and had moments of pure bliss in his arms.

Sweetheart,” he pleaded, his voice breaking. He took a deep breath to compose himself, “Tell me what’s going on.” He knew she wasn’t the one to get overly upset about things, even something as important as his faithfulness. He knew that something else must be weighing on her mind.

Her cheek was pressed into his clothed chest, wetting the cotton fabric with her tears. She hated to admit that the comfort of his arms was beginning to overcome the anger she was feeling towards him. Yet, she didn’t want him to know about her secret, hoping to keep it to herself for as long as possible.

“No. I… I can’t, Bill. You should leave,” she spoke, pulling her head off his chest and wiping her eyes.

He didn’t allow her to move far, keeping his grip on her body the exact same. “No. I’m not leaving you alone,” he pressed, “Not like this.”

“Bill…” she urged softly, wanting him to leave her.

No,” he stated, firm and authoritative, “You mean the world to me. I’m not going to leave you alone in this state.”

Her head fell back into his chest, utterly exhausted and defeated. There was no way he would agree to her pleas, so it was not worth trying.

She sniffled and he stroked her hair. “I need some time alone for awhile. I have… some personal matters to take care of, Bill,” she explained slowly, making sure to choose her words carefully.

He stopped combing his fingers through her hair and moved them down to to face, caressing the smooth skin of her cheek. “What is it? What’s going on?” he inquired. His eyebrows drew in and a faint look of concern presented itself on his striking features.

She shook her head and took a hold of his fingers, moving them away from her skin; she didn’t want him to touch her now. “It’s fine, Bill. I have it under control,” she assured him.

“Does it concern me?” he dared to ask, respectfully keeping his hand by his side.

She couldn’t meet his eyes, realizing it was a lot harder to lie to him than she imagined. They had always told each other the truth, no matter how hard it was to hear. It was that promise that made him tell her what happened that night at the club, instead of withholding the information. Honesty helped fortify their relationship, then brought it crashing down years later.

Slowly, she untangled his arms from her waist and slid out of his grip. She rose to her feet and padded back to the window, arms crossed under her breasts. He mirrored her movements, rising to his feet soon after.

“Does it?” he asked quietly, knowing in his heart that it did.

Instead of shaking her head, she gave him a slight nod, confirming his suspicions.

He calmly walked towards her, watching as she leaned back against the wooden window frame, and stopped a few paces before her. He looked at her expectantly, urging her to tell him what was happening.

She folded her arms tighter under her chest. Now or never…


The bedroom was completely dark, only lit by the moon shining through the large window.

Bill was pressing soft, close-mouthed kisses onto the smooth skin over her stomach. His elbows were propped up on the sheets, one on either side of her, holding his weight as he leaned his body back.

Bill,” she gently moaned. He looked up at her from his spot on her lower body. “I’m not pregnant yet,” she reminded him.

He pressed a final kiss to her stomach, lingering there for a few moments, then advanced back up her body. His lips captured hers and she smiled into the kiss, feeling his hand slip back down her neck, collarbone and breasts, until it reached her stomach. She laughed against his lips, her own forming a small grin.

He removed his full lips from hers and looked down at her, watching her smile grow wider. “You don’t know that,” he teasingly protested, “You could be pregnant right now.”

She laughed. “I suppose so,” she agreed.

He continued to stroke her stomach as he leaned back down onto the mattress, his hand re-warming her skin that had just began to cool down.

“Do you want a boy or a girl?"she wondered, gazing up at the ceiling as she laid on her back.

He moved onto his side, body facing hers. "One of each,” he quipped, resulting in a playful strike on his chest from his lover.

“Don’t be greedy,” she laughed, eyes gleaming as she turned her head to the side to face him.

He smiled. “It doesn’t matter to me. They’ll be beautiful either way, just like their mother,” he answered truthfully.

She caressed his cheek with the pads of her fingers, carefully grazing over the pronounced bone structure. “They’ll look like you no matter what; you know your genes are remarkably strong.” she teased, yet it really wasn’t a lie. All of his brothers and sisters looked strangely similar, making it clear that his genes were most likely the dominant.

He nodded, knowing she was speaking the truth. “They’ll be just like you, then; kind… loving… and intelligent,” he leisurely listed.

She smiled and leaned over him, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “I love you,” she said.

He flipped them over, her body now underneath his for the second time that night. “I love you,” he echoed, wrapping her legs around his hips.

She looked at him, a confused look on her face. “Again?” she wondered.

In response, he simply placed his lips onto hers, kissing her passionately as he pushed himself inside of her. A sharp moan slipped from his lover’s lips as he slowly began to roll his hips against hers.

“We might as well improve our chances,” he reasoned.

She held onto his upper back tightly, her hands moving up and down with his actions. He took his time with her, feeling no need to rush anything. He planned on showing her how much he loved her, and the child that would soon develop inside of her.

Once they finished, Bill pulled her chest flush against his and slowly traced his fingers along her spine.

Soon, they dozed off into a pleasant sleep, each of them having no idea that they had just conceived.

Now, they both had all they could ever ask for in one room.

Unfortunately, neither of them knew that.


She took a deep breath, bracing herself for whatever was to follow. She hesitantly met his gaze, “Bill… I-” she looked down, “I’m pregnant.”

The whole atmosphere changed, going from tense to void of all emotion. She continued to stare at the wooden floorboards, having no idea what his reaction was.

“You’re… Are you certain?” he checked.

She scoffed, meeting his eyes once again. “Of course I’m certain, Bill. I wouldn’t tell you if I wasn’t-”

He was in front of her in two easy steps, hands cupping her cheeks and lips pressed against hers, effectively cutting her off. She pushed him back, hands spread out on his chest.

“What… what are you doing?” she questioned, her voice thick with emotion.

He removed her hands from his chest and took them in his own before smiling. “I love you so much. I love you and I love our baby. I will do anything - anything - to prove myself to you,” he said passionately, eyes staring straight inside of her.

“I- I,” she stuttered, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. Her words came out thickly, “I love you, Bill. I hate that I do but… there’s nobody else; there will never be someone else, only you.”

They looked at each other in silence for a few moments, each of them taking in what had just happened. They were going to be parents, she still loved him and he would do anything to show her how he felt. A once loving relationship was now beginning to mend.

He spread out his arms for her. With a weak smile, she slipped into them, a sigh of content falling from her lips when his long arms circled around her back, holding her tightly.

“A baby, Bill. Our own baby,” she wept happily, tears of joy sliding down her cheeks.

He wiped them away with the pad of his thumb, tearfully smiling as well. “Oh, God. I love you so much, Darling. Always,” he promised, planting a kiss on her forehead.

I love you, Bill.”

He sniffled, “I love you.”


She held the youngest Skarsgård, Kolbjörn, in her arms and bounced him on her knee. He giggled, his face filled with a innocent, childish joy. Little Kolbjörn loved her very much, along with Ossain, who was equally fascinated by her. Maybe it was because she was newer, more fresh and exciting to them than their half brothers and sister, but either way, they were always pleased when Bill brought her around.

“Y/N?” Kolbjörn called softly, gaining her attention and she paused her conversation with Alexander.

“Yes?” she asked, tilting her head down to meet his eyes.

“Will we have cake soon?” he wondered impatiently.

She let out a small laugh, eyes gleaming as she kept bouncing the child on her leg. “Soon,” she promised. “Your parents and siblings are still cleaning up the kitchen. Except Alexander because he’s lazy,” she teased, earning a wide grin from Kolbjörn and a laugh from the eldest Skarsgård son.

“I’m tired,” Kolbjörn complained.

She stopped bouncing him. “Do you want to nap for a bit? I can take you upstairs?” she suggested.

He shook his little head and leaned into her chest. “Can I stay with you?” he asked.

She rubbed his back, allowing his cheek to rest just under her collarbone. “Of course,” she assured him.

Kolbjörn closed his eyes and dozed off, leaving her to look up at Alexander and smile. She continued to softly stroke his back when his breaths became slower. His gentle breathing sent warm air fanning over her skin.

She was so entranced by the small child which she held to her chest, that she didn’t hear Bill wander into the room.

“Hej,” Alexander casually acknowledged his brother. This caught her attention.

She lifted her eyes to peer at her boyfriend, who muttered back a faint hello to Alexander, before looking to her. She noted that he was now staring at her intently. His pale green orbs got darker with intensity as he crossed his arms and leaned against the beige wall, watching her cradle his half-brother.

He couldn’t help but feel a stir deep in his stomach as he watched the two. It was not a pang of desire - rather a strong sense of motivation after seeing how wonderful she looked with a boy just older than a baby in her arms. Kolbjörn’s cheek was pressed against her exposed skin and he had his small arms in the valley of her breasts as he slept soundly. He knew she would be the mother who bore his children.

She looked at him timidly, but held his intense stare, still unconsciously stroking his half-brother’s back. For a moment, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if Kolbjörn was their child, or if they had a baby of their own. She knew exactly what he was thinking: they should have children of their own soon. He wanted kids, that was no surprise, but this was the first time he had actually seen her with one and it only confirmed that she would make an excellent mother.

“Dad, uh- wants you in the kitchen to help prepare the cake,” Bill said.

She nodded. Wrapping her arms around Kolbjörn’s tiny body, she slowly stood from the sofa, as not to wake him, and strolled over to her lover. His eyes were wide as she came closer to him, cradling the younger Skarsgård against her chest.

She stood right in front of him and looked up at him nervously. “Will you take him? He’s… really tired,” she explained, taking a deep breath.

Bill nodded, his eyes still on hers, and extended his arms. Carefully, not wanting to disturb Kolbjörn’s sleep, she slipped the boy into Bill’s arms. Instinctively, he took a proper hold of the boy and held him to his chest, Kolbjörn’s small head resting in the crook of Bill’s neck. She felt compelled to look up, her hands still holding the young boy’s waist, and finally met Bill’s gaze. She inhaled sharply; an outsider would assume that was their child and she, the mother, was handing the boy off to him, the father, so she could move to another task. She sensed that he felt this way too, like Kolbjörn could be their own.

“Got him?” She asked quietly.

Bill nodded and she slowly slid her hands off the boy’s waist.

Giving her lover a nervous smile, she padded off to the kitchen to help Stellan, leaving Bill with his youngest and eldest brothers. He took a seat on the couch beside Alexander and leaned back against the plush cushion.

“One day, brother,” Alexander spoke with a grin.

Bill raised a brow.

“You’ll be the one give Dad his second grandchild, a grandson most likely with our track record,” his eldest brother joked.

Bill looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms and saw him in a way he never had before.

“Maybe,” he agreed, staring at the small boy’s closed eyes.

“I wish you both the best; she’s a sweet girl,” Alexander pointed out, “Dad loves her and that right there makes her a keeper.”

Bill laughed and Kolbjörn stirred in his arms. “I want one. I’m ready,” he told his older brother, turning his head to look at him.

Alexander thought about those statements. “Is she?” he wondered.

Bill looked down at his baby brother.

“I hope so.”


“I’m glad you came here tonight,” she mumbled into his chest.

He smiled, knowing that she could not even begin to imagine how much he loved her. “Can I stay?” he dared to ask.

She considered his request for a moment, then nodded. “Yes. It’s been to long,” she confessed.

Bill knelt in front of her, balanced himself on his knees, then reached to take her hips into his hands. She watched as he slowly lifted up her blouse, letting the cool air hit her skin, then pressed his lips to her belly. She carded a hand through his hair, sighing in content at the feeling of his lips running over her skin. It really had been too long.

“I love you too,” he whispered into her skin.

Her heart was overwhelmed with happiness at his words; he was there for the long haul. They would have their first child, get married, have more children, then watch them grow until they became adults themselves, no longer in need of parents. Their children would go on to find a love of their own.

His eyes flickered up, meeting hers. He pressed another kiss to her stomach and she smiled.

They had found each other again.


*Tags: @mizz-kraziii  @winter-slays @hahahannah28 @skarsgardtrash @book-wyrm-snacks @lyra-timelord @jasmineladjevardi @diva-skywalker-af   @mimiloosblog @capricorn-bliss @scarlet-doll-13@negan5589 @lukesriff @allkundsofwrong @diianawonka @wonderlust-luna@cvrousel@weallhaveadestiny@gordonramsayisking @booklover2929 @teenageglasshouse @michelleexk @sihakrios28 @headoverhiddles @sergeant-bullshit @destielsangels @dickseverywhere @namelesslosers @negansonicteenagefathead @allkundsofwrong @partypoison00 @skrsgards @sadpoppingcandy@livinglike-jimmorrison  @bofurlover @sugarshai @bebetriste @agnt-mulder @captain—potter @the-lurking-reader @whoatatyana @darkandtwistyxox @shannonxbarnes

If you want or no longer want to be tagged, comment or submit.*