Sorry for the negativity but I hate being demi. Ive dated one person who meant the world to me and we broke up ages ago but I'm still not over them and I feel like thats due at least in part to how rarely I experience attraction. I cant get them out of my head because everytime I think of love they are the only thing that comes to mind and there arent just "other fish in the sea" for me. I'm happy for demi people who can be positive about their identity but I hate this and I wish I could change.
Don’t worry about being negative about it sometimes. Real life isn’t all happy sunshine and unicorn cupcakes. Sometimes things suck. Maybe they even suck a lot. That’s okay. That’s just life.
I’ve cried myself to sleep a few times because I feel like I’m going to be alone my whole life since I have such a hard time connecting to people. I feel really lonely some days when all I see around me are happy couples in books, tv, movies, and even in my life. When people talk about how great things are with their boyfriend or girlfriend, all it does is remind me that I’ve never experienced a relationship and that I may never get to. That makes me really sad. Some days I wish I could change too because then I could go out there and meet people easily and not be awkward and weird and maybe I’d even be happy.
But where would changing really get us? The love we get to experience, it’s special. It’s really special. You know those sports cars that everyone wants because they’re so goddamn beautiful and the company only made, like, five in the whole world? We’re the sports cars of love. Or the really limited edition signed comic or misprinted book? We’re those. Because only loving, truly loving, a couple of times in your life means that love is really really powerful. Just because you don’t go through heartbreak and dates and one night stands like other people doesn’t make your love any less. Not that there’s anything wrong with the above, because there truly isn’t, but I’d argue that loving only a few times and being with only a few people makes you more special. Because when you say you love someone, you mean it. And yeah, it sucks if that person breaks your heart and it may take you a while to get over it. But when you do, whoever you love next will be so lucky to have you.
For now, though, focus on yourself. Don’t try to go fishing. Buy that face mask that makes you happy. Treat yourself to a cooking class and make a fancy dessert. Go rock climbing because you’ve always wanted to and just never had anyone to do it with. Forget other people. Focus on making yourself happy. Fall in love with yourself. And you know what? Going and doing all those things will open you up to a whole new group of people that may become your very best friends and maybe even your next love. It won’t happen over night, but I can promise that one day you’ll look around and forget why you were ever sad. Whether that happens with or without a cutie hanging on your arm isn’t important. The important part is that you are who are and that you deserve the very best you can give yourself.