To my fellow emotionally repressed abuse survivors, a heads up: when you start doing trauma work in therapy, for a while it’s going to feel like grieving is your full time job. I’m serious, and not exaggerating at all. Before therapy, I hadn’t cried for roughly 3 or so years. Once I started EMDR, I literally cried, sobbed, every single damn day for 3 straight months. I laid down on the floor, put on some Emmylou Harris and I just fucking cried. I cried so hard I burst the little blood vessels in my eyelids and I cried so much I had to up my water consumption by 10 ounces a day.
Don’t let it discourage you, even if it feels like the grief will never stop, like there’s no bottom to it. I promise you’ll get there.