cries a river of never ending tears

I thought it was the end of the world. I thought my life ended when you left. I almost drowned myself with so much pain when you left. I almost died. It feels like you took my breath away the moment you left. I cried a river and it’s still not enough, it feels like i need to cry another bucket of tears. I thought it’s the end of the world. But i was wrong..

I’m still alive. I’m still breathing the same air, the sun never fails to shine every morning, the stars still shines so bright in the evening and the time didn’t stop and i realize that the world didn’t stop revolving for my grief. Everything’s still the same.

It was just me who refuse to live when you left… It was me whom i thought my life’s useless because you left.

Maybe it was the end of our world, the world that we created and now it has ended the moment you left. Every day, i am sending you a lot of messages but they either get unread or unanswered. It’s been almost 6 months and without you in my life felt like a lifetime. Since then, i’m hoping that one day you’ll show up in front of my house waiting for me to open the door and welcome you with an open arms.

I cannot tell you how many times i’ve felt like it was the end of the world. There are times that i feel like i am okay but just by hearing your name or when i heard the song we used to sing i am going back to zero. Something’s always pulling me back.

But then again i woke up one day wanting to get up from my bed and start my day, this time without thinking about you. I realize the world didn’t stop just because you broke my heart. It will never stop just for one person or just because you want to die because of too much pain. It doesn’t end there.

Life goes on. You have to heal yourself. You have to fix your broken heart and you don’t have to stop the world just for you…just for your broken heart. You have to make some ways to stop the pain and it’s you and only you who can help yourself. The Earth is going to keep revolving and it will never stop just for you only. The time is running and it doesn’t have a sympathy to anyone…to someone like me who got my heart broken.

I realize i need to continue living my life. I’m feeling better right now. I missed smiling and laughing heartily like this. I never thought I could be this happy without. It’s still a happy life even without you in it. am really okay. I am already done sulking. I’m already done with all the pain.

My world is revolving and this time you are not the reason.

—  You leaving wasn’t the end of the world

Gray sits beside Natsu’s bed, as the dragon slayer recovers from the hard fought fight between Fairies, Acnologia and Zeref.

The aftermath of the battle is very evident. Some of them are probably not the same person after this, well most of them and he’s one of them.

“Juvia,” he sighs and closed his eyes and breathed deeply to stop the tears from flowing, “she’s never coming back,” he thought in his head.

He stood up, fists clenched, eyes hot and he didn’t even notice the tears coming and he walked out of the infirmary.

“Gray,” Lucy softly called out as she was worried about her friend, however Carla stopped her and they decided to just leave the Ice mage alone for a while.

Gray went to the old river where he and Natsu used to fight.

He collapsed on the ground and cried as he thought of the things that happened; his fight with Natsu who happened to be END, his final mission… the whole guild, his family in a wreck… and Juvia… He stared numbly at nothing, letting his tears flow down his cheeks.

Then he heard someone.

“Gray-sama,” the voice softly called out to him.

He turned his head slowly towards the voice and he saw the one person he would willingly die for and the same person who risked her life for him…

“J-Juvia,” his voice shakes out of doubt, not knowing whether this is real or not.

“Gray-sama,” Juvia called out, trying to keep the tears from flowing but she failed as she smiled softly, “Juvia is back.”

He wasted no time as he stood up on his feet and lunged himself at her, and hugged her tight, wanting to feel the heat of her body as a sign of life…

He held her face close to him, foreheads touching as he cried openly at her… Happy that she’s alive.

** I had to write this.