cries a lot and goes to bed

when my dog had surgery he cried a lot the first night, but he’d stop when i laid down beside him. so i crawled into his cage with him so he’d stop crying and pet him until he fell asleep. i fell asleep with him and when i woke up, that bITCH WAS ON MY BED AND LEFT ME IN THE CAGE

Please?

This takes place around season 2, episode 5 when Daryl is taken down by his own arrow. He’s rushed to Hershel, needing help taking the arrow out of his side, but you aren’t able to see Daryl in this shape. Not until he calls for you, begging you to stay by his side.



  • Daryl Dixon x Reader
  • 881 Words
  • No warnings, just lots of fluffy cuteness.

You sat in the dining room, chewing on your thumbnail and glancing up at the clock every five minutes. For a while, it seemed like time had stopped. The little hand barely moving as each passing second goes on and fear enters your body.

At first, you were so sure Daryl Dixon was a goner. The way he slumped over Rick’s and Shane’s shoulders as they brought him up to the farm, his cries for help when he woke up on that bed. Hershel promised he would fix Daryl up, but you still had your doubts.

Now, Daryl’s cries of pain could be heard throughout the house. You try to cover your ears, try to focus on your thoughts—it didn’t help. He was too loud, too much in pain.

“Y/N.” Maggie came flying out of the room, a little bit of blood staining the front of her shirt. You couldn’t be sure, but you thought it was Daryl’s. Your stomach tightens at the thought and you had to swallow hard. “Daryl’s asking for you.” She said in her thick country drawl.

Any other time you would have questioned why Daryl was asking for you, even though you two were always just a little bit closer than he was with anyone else. You knew that and everybody else knew that, it was just never so obvious.

You got to your feet and made your way into the room. Rick was standing over Daryl, holding him down with his police officer strength, Hershel, who was trying his best to work with a fidgeting redneck, and a pacing Shane. None of them could have prepared you for Daryl, though.

“I need a needle.” Hershel commands as he begins cleaning a wound on Daryl’s side. You freeze in place as Maggie rushes around and gathers her father a needle to ready the stitches.

Daryl lifts his head and spots you, his eyes focusing on yours for a second before he reaches out a bloody hand and calls your name. “Please.” He begs. It’s very unlike the man, it causes you to hesitate before you dash over and take Rick’s place at the head of the bed.

“Keep him calm.” Hershel told you as he dug a strange looking knife into Daryl’s side. You couldn’t look, not at this. Looking would mean it was as bad as you thought and Daryl was too strong to get hurt, at least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself for weeks.

“Y/N.” Daryl whimpers and tosses his head into your lap, pressing down as he tries to hold in more cries.

“I’m here.” You reach around, placing your left hand on the side of his head and your right hand soothing his shoulder with a gentle massage.

—-

“Dinner was good, thank you.” You rose from the table and went to check on Daryl. He was seemingly fast asleep when you brought him a tray in to nibble on, but you hoped he woke up long enough to get a bite or two in. The man was out in the woods all day without a single bite.

Inside the room, Daryl was still asleep, his body heaving under the blankets as he clutches them to his chest. It’s a nice, familiar sight you like to watch. Daryl sleeping always calms you down, no matter what was happening in the outside world. He was so peaceful, so innocent as he slept the hours away.

You make your way to the other side of his bed and notice he hasn’t taken a bite yet. You sigh, clearing away the tray so you could take a seat on the chair beside the bed, wanting to make sure he has someone with him when he wakes up.

“No,” Daryl grunts and makes you jump. You turn to face him. His eyes are still closed but he could tell what you were doing so easily. He always can. “Please?” There it was again, that word you swore was never taught to him. Twice in one day? You feel lucky.

“If you want.” You say gently and pull his sheets back. His chest is bare, covered in scars from the day’s events and a little bit of dried up blood you wish you could have cleaned when you had the chance—not that Daryl would care in the slightest.

He nods and extends his arms, showing you what he wants, something very unusual for him. But Daryl was always a man of few words, unless provoked. He never understood how feelings work, how conversations worked, unless it had to do with killing something.

You slip under the covers and allow him to wrap his muscular arms around your torso. He rests his head against your breasts warily, wanting nothing more than to be held and feel comfort that he hasn’t felt in a long time—if ever. You read that much off him as he tries to relax, shifting some of his weight here and there until he found the correct spot and settles.

With a gentle kiss to his forehead, you realize that this wasn’t just Daryl needing a little bit of comfort. This was Daryl claiming you, telling you that he was willing to put aside his lonely boy attitude and try something…more.

Ritsu Headcanons

had to rewrite these like 3 times cuz tumblr decided to have a mental breakdown

// Teru // Shou // Ritsu // Reigen // Mob // Serizawa //

  • *softly, but with a lot of feeling* “what the fuck
    • swears far too much for a 13 year old kid and he knows it
      • he never swears around his parents and rarely swears around Mob though
    • reigen will get this Look on his face whenever Ritsu swears around him so Ritsu stares him down, challenging him to say anything
  • has a Bad tendency to bottle up how he feels, kind of sort of like Mob
    • but, unlike Mob, he at least know what’s feeling? he just… basically values other people’s Mob’s emotions over his own
      • side effect of tiptoeing around Mob and fearing what would happen if he got too stressed out
    • so he usually just comes off as really bitter instead of how he’s actually feeling
  • holds grudges like you wouldn’t believe
    • oh what’s that? you don’t remember that one, super insignificant thing you did to him in 1st grade? well ritsu does and he doesnt forgive you
  • secretly spends hours in the morning styling his hair
  • is pretty caring, actually, but doesn’t express it in an in your face, obvious way
  • shows he cares through small gestures
    • like running to the store to buy milk for mob, or making sure he finishes his homework/offering to help him, or letting you rant about whatever is on your mind
    • only does this for Shou and Mob, though. You have to earn his trust first
      • even then he has trouble admitting that he cares for someone Shou basically
  • a list of people ritsu would take a bullet for: Mob and Shou
    • Teru might be close to being on that list but ritsu is skeptical of that guy
  • tells it how it is. Blunt as fuck. doesn’t hold back
    • “Hanazawa, your taste in music is nearly as bad as your fashion sense.”
    • “Please get a haircut, Shou. You honestly look like Bart Simpson and it’s unnerving.” toe to tip, thats a bart
    • “Reigen–” “Not today, Ritsu.”
  • doesn’t actually stay up all night like Shou thinks. Goes to sleep at  consistent time (unless he’s waiting for Mob to come home)
    • what he does is, before he goes to bed every night, he turns Shou’s ringtone loud enough so that, when Shou gets bored/lonely and texts him at 2 in the morning, it’ll wake him up
  • very considerate of Shou’s feelings, even though he rolls his eyes at him a lot and always pretends to be annoyed with him sometimes he’s not pretending though
  • probably cries when watching movies where the dog dies
  • always has at least one spoon on his person for some reason?
    • please don’t ask why he has no explanation
    • also dont tease him about it he gets enough of that from Teru
  • the most intense resting bitch face this world has ever seen
    • looks like he’s plotting murder when he’s deep in thought
      • “Ritsu, what are you thinking about? You look really angry.” “oh I’m just trying to decide on what we should have for lunch, bro.”
  • he’s really not used to physical affection
    • hugs and hand holding and. well, anything
    • that’s why Shou is a huge shock because that kid seems incapable of keeping his hands to himself
    • everyone thought that ritsu would lash out at Shou but he actually just kind of. Lets Shou hang off of him
      • he rests his head on his shoulder, puts his legs on his lap, sits so close to him Shou is practically sitting on Ritsu, has an arm wrapped around his shoulders whenever they walk together
    • Ritsu doesnt really encourage it, but he doesnt push him away either
      • but in reality ritsu fucking loves it. He loves hugs and affection but doesnt know how to take it
        • this kid needs hugs someone hold him

anonymous asked:

Help!!! I think I'm deeply in love with jonghyun!!

same tho ;;;;;; but here’s how u can cope with loving jonghyun dearly:

-stream the lonely mv

-observe Intense Sweater Paws at least twice daily

-let mermaid junghee into ur life

-when he sends u airkissies!! send them back!!! even thru the screen it’s okay!!! he’ll feel it!

-don’t be afraid to cry with jjong sometimes. he cries a lot so u’ll be ok with crying too! let out a good cry with jjong if u have to.

-jjong goes to bed at 12 am kst so whenever that is in ur time zone make sure u tell him good night! and if u forget that’s okay too! just say sweet dreams when u can! he’ll hear u i promise!

anonymous asked:

Jeffmads

send me a ship and i’ll tell you

  • who hogs the duvet: Jefferson (DAMMIT THOMAS)
  • who texts/rings to check how their day is going: Jefferson checks up on Madison a surprising amount, especially when he’s sick (but when is he not?).
  • who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: Jefferson always buys Madison the most expensive, impressive stuff. It’s not exactly “creative”, but it’s the thought that counts.
  • who gets up first in the morning: Jefferson. He needs a lot of time to make himself look perfect.
  • who suggests new things in bed: Jefferson. Some of the shit he thinks up is WEIRD.
  • who cries at movies: Madison.
  • who gives unprompted massages: Jefferson.
  • who fusses over the other when they’re sick: Jefferson goes into full husband mode when Madison is badly sick. No one believes Madison when he tells people.
  • who gets jealous easiest: JEFFERSON. Don’t even LOOK at his Jemmy the wrong way.
  • who has the most embarrassing taste in music: Jefferson, but he feels no shame.
  • who collects something unusual: Do weird magenta coats and copious amounts of mac and cheese count as “unusual”?
  • who takes the longest to get ready: Jefferson. He takes WAY too long.
  • who is the most tidy and organised: Madison.
  • who gets most excited about the holidays: Jefferson prides himself in having the most extravagant Christmas light set up ever. He ends up competing with Hamilton for it.
  • who is the big spoon/little spoon: Jefferson is the big spoon, Madison is the little spoon.
  • who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: Jefferson, of course.
  • who starts the most arguments: Jefferson. That man is a nuisance sometimes.
  • who suggests that they buy a pet: Jefferson. Constantly. He and Mads will see some weird, dangerous animal on TV and Jefferson will be like “I WANT ONE” despite the fact it could kill him with no trouble.
  • what couple traditions they have: Jefferson always makes Madison mac and cheese. He doesn’t want it.
  • what tv shows they watch together: Madison likes documentaries, and Jefferson watches them with him. Jefferson likes those overly dramatic reality shows, which Madison gets roped into as well (no one tell Jeffs that he actually wants to know what happens next).
  • what other couple they hang out with: Burrdosia (everyone prepare for the drama).
  • how they spend time together as a couple: Roasting Hamilton, mostly.
  • who made the first move: Jefferson.
  • who brings flowers home: Jefferson used to, until finding out that Madison is allergic.
  • who is the best cook: Jefferson. It’s a shame that he refuses to cook anything but mac and cheese.

anonymous asked:

WILL X READER

who hogs the duvet: Will. Will may hog the duvet at night, but it almost always ends up half on the ground in the morning.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going: Y/N. Since Y/N doesn’t work on DEH (she’s in Come From Away), she likes to text or call Will to see how he is.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: Will, for sure. He’s a really creative guy, and that definitely shows in his gift giving skills. He once got Y/N a hand done painting of her for Valentine’s Day. Y/N cried.

who gets up first in the morning: They both enjoy sleeping in, but when they have two show days, Y/N gets up first and makes coffee for the both of them. 

who suggests new things in bed: Y/N. Will loves watching his girlfriend take charge, and he goes along with a lot of what she suggests.

who cries at movies: Will. Y/N tears up, but doesn’t fully cry, so she just pulls Will really close to her and kisses him on the forehead gently.

who gives unprompted massages: William. This usually happens when they’re watching TV and they’re all cuddled up. Will just decides to start massaging Y/N’s shoulders. She appreciates it.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick: Y/N. She takes a few days off from the show to look after her sick boyfriend, and they enjoy spending a few full days with each other.

who gets jealous easiest: Will. Whenever they go out together, Will’s arm is always around Y/N’s waist, and he almost never leaves her side.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music: Y/N. She never really grew out of the whole ‘seventh grade emo phase’ thing, and Will starts laughing hysterically when he sees a My Chemical Romance CD in her car.

who collects something unusual: Will. He collects watches. He has like 50, and hardly wears them. It annoys Y/N deeply.

who takes the longest to get ready: They both take forever to get ready!! Mornings in the Roland-Y/L/N household are hectic.

who is the most tidy and organised: Y/N. Will is pretty organised, but sometimes Y/N likes to tidy up Will’s side of the room.

who gets most excited about the holidays: They both freak out about the holidays. They decorate their house for every major holiday, and the DEH Christmas party is always hosted by these two.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Will is the big spoon 90% of the time. This is because Y/N loves snuggling into Will’s chest, bc he’s so warm, and she finds listening to his heartbeat real comforting.

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: Y/N. Never play any card game with Y/N, especially Spoons. She once smacked Will with a spoon bc she was feeling incredibly competitive.

who starts the most arguments: Will, but it’s only because he dislikes Y/N’s constant tidying. He has a system, he swears.

who suggests that they buy a pet: Will. He’s desperate for a cat, and Y/N is opposed to the idea, until she sees said cat. Then she’s in love.

what couple traditions they have: The two of them always grab a snack from some 24 hour diner after their respective shows. Every single night. And they chat about stage door experiences or any mishaps, and they just laugh.

what tv shows they watch together: They definitely watch Rick and Morty together, as well as Have You Been Paying Attention? (Y/N moved from Australia, and she introduced Will to this show. He cried laughing when watching the first episode (after Y/N explained all the Australian jokes). 

what other couple they hang out with: Mike and Lexi! They often go out together on double dates. Said double dates usually have brilliant stories that go with them.

how they spend time together as a couple: They get takeaway from this really good Chinese restaurant once a week, and binge a few episodes of Rick and Morty (complete with sarcastic commentary from Will and Y/N)

who made the first move: Y/N. She ran into Will when DEH was running in DC after seeing the show, and she decided to ask him out because she thought he was really cute, and talented. Will definitely accepted, and now they’re engaged and live together in NY.

who brings flowers home: Will! He loves to surprise Y/N, and show his romantic side, so he shows it via flowers. Y/N adores it.

who is the best cook: Y/N. She always makes breakfast for Will, and Will shows his appreciation with sleepy morning kisses.

College au headcanons

I was up at like three thinking about this AU so I collected some of my rambled thoughts and this is what I currently have for my half of the gang

Nikki

Doesn’t drink coffee
6 AM runs
Method actor, doesn’t break character
YouTube and redditor
Mostly fitness subreddits
Wants to get swole
Likes sweets too much to commit to getting swole
Has trouble thinking, stays up late
Listens to nature sound YouTube videos to sleep
Is the 3 AM “What if the sky could talk?” Sleepover friend
Sleeps in class because she doesn’t sleep at night
Failed a year in high school
Messiest handwriting ever
Seriously, it’s chicken scratch
Can hold her alcohol pretty well
Picks at skin/scabs/nails when anxious
Keeps scrapbook
Has tons of childhood nicknacks
Has a squeaky giggle laugh
Is medicated for ADHD
Doesn’t take medication for ADHD

Space Kid
Has designated morning ritual
Drinks decaf mocha in morning
Has a photographic memory
Top of his class with no effort
Collects dvds and movie posters
Calls his parents once a week to let them know he’s okay
Holds alcohol well for someone with limited experience
Has big hearty laugh
Bed is covered with stuffed animals
Every stuffed animal is named
Does flight simulators for fun
Loves cheesy romantic comedies
Cries when animals die in movies

Nerris

Listens to critical role during walk to school
Has satchel where everything goes, lovingly names bag of holding
Convention bracelets
Lots of bracelets, arms covered in bracelets
Snorts sometimes when she laughs
Is self conscious about said snorting
Has Asthma
Keeps inhaler in bag of holding
Keeps dnd minis with her for luck, mentally refers to them as her friends.
Always carries a copy of her book on her
Reads a lot at home
Doesn’t get along with roommates
Lowkey depressed
Not medicated
Therapy? I don’t know her
Listens to video game soundtracks

Neil

Watches live streams 24/7
PC gamer
Has custom PC
Upgrades it regularly
Watches anime
Is embarrassed about watching anime
Big into ASMR
Medicated for anxiety
ALWAYS takes medication
Gets drunk on drop of alcohol
Listens to electronic and techno music


Nurf

Goes to the gym regularly
Doesn’t skip leg day
Volunteers at homeless shelter
Sees therapist once a week
Not medicated
Alcohol tolerance of steel
Has pet cat named Mr. Bojangles
Doesn’t know origin of name
Listens to old school rock and roll

@gogetsomesnacks Feel free to add your own/ ones for your half

anonymous asked:

Seventeen's reaction to having a spider next to them on their pillow when they wake up?

  • Seungcheol/S.Coups: he takes like 500 years to wake up so he’d sit there for literally ten minutes and then let out a very small, very soft SCREAM
  • Jeonghan: “is it in my hair? oh my god is it crawling into my hair? what if it gets lost in my hair and never comes out? this is how i die-”
  • Joshua: *closes his eyes and prays it’ll just disappear* 
  • Jun: doesn’t believe there’s a spider there, but is too scared to turn his head and look
  • Hoshi: *catches the spider and goes to put it on DK’s pillow* 
  • Wonwoo: is happy that the spider is taking a nap beside him. goes back to bed 
  • Woozi: “Joshua, hand me a broom. I’m going to destroy this spider.”
  • DK: s o n i c s c r e a m
  • Mingyu: shrugs and gets out of bed. tells s.coups he promises he got “rid” of the spider. he didn’t 
  • the8: carefully gets the spider and sets it free out of the window, be gone young one 
  • Seungkwan: his mom told him it’s bad luck to kill spiders so he cries but carries the entire pillow out of the house and sets it down in the parking lot so the spider can be free. regrets doing this when he understands he doesn’t have a pillow anymore.
  • Vernon: makes Hoshi get rid of it and sprays his entire comforter with bug repellent 
  • Dino: asks S.Coups if he hurt the spider. gets sad when he hears he accidentally pushed it to the floor while he was still sleeping. mourns the loss of his spider friend 

coololdsoulpoetlove  asked:

How would the squad and reader react if Rosie had a nightmare?

i assumed you meant when she’s little so that’s what i’m gonna do!


alex

  • chances are he’s awake when she has the nightmare
  • rosie knows if he’s up because the light will be on in his office 
    • she comes in very quietly, usually with a stuffed animal under her arm
    • rosie just crawls onto his lap and he knows
    • they’ve got this quiet sort of language,, it’s endearing to watch
  • if rosie’s not okay, his work is forgotten
  • he just saves his work and shuts his laptop off. he just holds her to his chest
    • alex: “what’s wrong, baby? bad dream?” 
    • rosie: “y-yeah” 
    • alex: “it’s okay, rosie. it’s not real. you’re okay” 
  • he’ll tuck her back in bed and read/tell her a story
  • he makes sure to end it before she falls asleep
    • she has to know the ending or else she can’t sleep

Keep reading

catwhisker-archive-deactivated2  asked:

Jally sex hc's o3o

- Johnny almost chickened out of their first time because he was kinda scared cause he knew it would hurt

- Johnny bites very hard

- He’s even made Dallas bleed /I’m sorry/

- Dally makes Johnny’s his very swollen

- So sometimes he just stays home walking around in Dally’s sweatshirts because it’s a struggle to pull on his /skinny/ jeans

- Sure, Dally likes the actual sex part, but his favorite thing is to tease Johnny

- Some part of him hates to see Johnny in any pain but the other part finds it highly arousing

- Dally’s kinda into BDSM and it kinda freaks Johnny out a bit but he’ll let Dally have his fun

- Alright on any type of road trips Johnny is always sitting in Dally’s lap, distracting him from the road

- One time they backed into a police car because of it

- Dally makes Johnny where lingerie

- Dally often leaves Johnny with a limp

- Ok one night, Johnny didn’t want to have sex cause he was still sore from the night before but Dally really wanted to so he resorted to bargaining and said “I’ll pay you” and Johnny stormed out angrily

- Dally leaves very dark hickeys ok and it makes Johnny very self conscious

- Since Dally teases Johnny in the bedroom, Johnny does in front of the gang and Dally begs him to stop but he doesn’t just to get him back

- Everyone’s comfortable with Johnny sitting in his lap already so he keeps wiggling around, acting casual though and he’s trying to make Dally hard which is easy to do

- Dally holds Johnny down tightly so he doesn’t move but he knows it kinda hurts his waist so its not that hard

- Johnny likes to “accidently” grab him through his jean

- Sometimes Dally forgets to unclock Johnny from the handcuffs after sex so he’s left with deep red marks on his wrists in the morning /which he doesn’t mind/

- They’ve done it on Soda and Pony’s bed but they wouldn’t dare do it on Darry’s bed

- Sylvia gives Johnny advice all the time

- Dally almost broke Johnny’s wrists one time

- They laugh a lot during sex to cool down any tension because Dally likes to make jokes

- Dally goes down on Johnny a lot and Johnny it makes Johnny go so weak his legs are numb

- Johnny doesn’t go down on Dally as often and it kinda makes him nervous but as he does, Dally whispers encouragements

- Dally punched Tim after he called Johnny a “fuckin’ fag” jokingly /not jokingly but h,,a,,,/

- Their first time, Johnny /kinda/ cried because he was /kinda/ scared

- I could go on this all night /and I wont too but this is probably too much/

Imagine Maddie and Alicia growing up on a farm and big sister Alicia teaching little sis Maddie how to use a shotgun and how to take care of the garden, and little sis Maddie teaching Alicia how to cook dinner and do all that martial arts stuff the lady from that dairy farm down the road’s been teaching her after school (although Alicia’s not very good at it).

Little sis Maddie constantly sneaking out at night with a home-made EMF reader to that haunted house in the woods after Alicia tells her a ghost story about it she heard a school. Alicia sneaking out to get Maddie to come back here god damn it before Dad finds out or they’ll BOTH get in trouble.

Big sis Alicia not understanding why little sis Maddie finds ghosts so god damn interesting like they’re not even real go study something more practical Mads seriously.

Big sis Alicia hanging the ‘ghost-proof’ dream-catcher Maddie made her from the porch roof anyway.

Big sister Alicia avoiding going to university because she wants to wait for little sis to graduate high school so they can go together and then little sis and big sis go on big city adventures since they’re so used to living on a farm and the city is just sO EXCITING LOOK ALICIA EVERYTHING’S SO TALL WOW.

And Maddie’s really good in all her courses but Alicia’s having trouble so little sis Maddie helps tutor big sis Alicia but eventually Alicia drops out and moves in with her boyfriend.

Little sis Maddie falling in love with Jack, big sis Alicia not thinking he’s good enough for her amazing little sister and getting annoyed that he’s fuelling Maddie’s ridiculous fascination with ghosts that she still haSN’T DROPPED SERIOUSLY Mads wHY??

Big sis Alicia telling that scrawny kid with the mullet chasing little sis Maddie’s skirt tails to back off because her sister’s got a guy, even if Alicia doesn’t like him Maddie has made her choice and this fella needs to respect that.

Maddie learns how to make ghost-hunting tech, she makes anti-ghost shotgun bullets for Dad 'just in case’, Alicia thinks it’s stupid but Dad’ll probably keep them.

Little sis Maddie being a bridesmaid at Alicia’s wedding and both of them getting a little too drunk on Dad’s home-brew and laughing all night. Alicia’s dress gets a tear but it’s okay because Maddie can fix it real quick before anyone notices. Maddie getting married a couple years later and bridesmaid Alicia holding back proud tears watching her little sis walk the aisle on Dad’s arm.

Maddie and Jack have a daughter. Alicia’s husband starts to grow distant from her. Maddie gets pregnant, her and Jack move out of town looking for a bigger house. Alicia’s husband comes home late from work a lot. Maddie and Jack have a son and Alicia goes to be with Maddie for the birth.

Alicia comes home, her husband’s secretary is in their bed.

Alicia gets a divorce, her husband drags it out and ends up taking everything. Alicia is forced to stay with Maddie until it’s over, little sister Maddie holds big sister Alicia while she cries.

Alicia goes back to the farm, it’s Dad’s turn to hold her while she cries.

Maddie and Alicia hold each other at his funeral a few years later.

anonymous asked:

at what point do you think Will fell in love with Hannibal? Do you think he was ever consciously aware of it or did he live in denial?

Hmmm.  I’m not sure I’m the best person to answer this one for you, friend, for a variety of reasons.  Including “I fell in love with Mr. Slippy almost 17 years ago so I’m not sure I even remember how precisely that shift works” and “TBH, the older I get the more I feel like ‘loving’ and ‘being in love’ are not the precise distinctions a younger me would have wanted them to be.”  So you might want to seek out someone to answer this one for you who has had the “falling in love” experience in this millennium.

(Although, don’t get me wrong.  I still fall in love with Mr. Slippy all the time, all over again.  He’s pretty terrific. But it’s a different kind of thing than it was lo those many years ago.)

But if I absolutely had to pinpoint something I’d say that Will “I Just Sort Of Do Things And Then Figure Out How I Feel About Them Later, Usually From A Hospital Bed Because FML” Graham probably came to some kind of conscious awareness of feeling some kind of way about Hannibal somewhere between Mizumono and Aperitivo.  I refuse to believe that even Will would admit out loud to wanting to run away with Hannibal, and then climb on a damn boat and set sail across the Atlantic to track him down without having to admitted to himself that there is something going on there that is not just about Bros Being Bros, Like Besties Do.  

I don’t know that he’d classify it as “in love” in those words, then or ever, but I think somewhere around then you could probably get him to classify it as a kind of love.

if I had to pick exactly when he figured that out, I don’t know, and maybe I’d have to write a fic about it to find out.  It would probably be a fic about Will deciding to restore a boat just to have something to do with his hands and his empty hours.  A fic about how it’s just a project, just for time-passing and physical therapy and fresh air, and how he doesn’t, at all, pick out the boat because it looks like it could stand up to a long voyage.

It would be a fic about long hours and days and weeks of sandpaper and grease and paint and things that break when you’re trying to fix them, and parts that have to be ordered, and dogs underfoot, and studiously not thinking about where the boat might go when it’s done, because that’s not the point.

It might be a fic about studying charts and calculating supply levels, just as an intellectual exercise, just because it’s somehow calming to think about going far away.  Somewhere out of the reach of physical therapists and well-intentioned friends and former colleagues.

It’s probably a fic about how Will stalls out completely when it comes to figuring out what to do about the galley.  Which really only needs to be serviceable and not fancy, but the itch to make it nice, to make it somewhere you could really cook, maybe somewhere two people could move around each other while one of them cooked - well.  That brings the nightmares roaring back and Will goes to bed for a week and doesn’t go anywhere near the damn boat.

Mostly it’s a fic about naming the boat, though, an idle process that amuses Will through many a chilly evening.  She’s not going to be the Abigail or the Beverly, that’s for sure. He thinks about naming the boat after his mother, or a favorite book character.  There’s a two minute window devoted to naming her the SS Encephalitis, which makes him laugh so hard he cries, or maybe he was crying to begin with - it was late, there was a lot of whiskey, his entire side ached with overwork, it’s best not to think about it.

Probably, though, it’s a story about the moment when he’s thinking about New Orleans, and how complicated he’d thought his life was then, and how simple it was now that he looks back at it.  And he thinks: NOLA.  And he thinks about the historical Hannibal, throwing himself at the Italian Nola over and over and never quite defeating it.  

He knows two things immediately: That he’s found his name, and that he wants to tell Hannibal about it and see him laugh.  He may or may not want to stab him immediately after that, but he definitely wants to make him smile before the stabbing part.  It’ll take him a while longer to figure out what exactly that means, but when he looks back, yeah - that was the moment.

Having kids with Harry would include:

- a bunch of different flavors of ice cream
- baking brownies/cookies
- cuddles
- calling him “Harry Edward”, when he walks around the house with only a boxer
- loads of Disney movies on netflix and on his iPad
- tiny gold boots for his boy and pink one for his girl
- princess tiaras
- car toys scattered everywhere
- blanket forts
- spending weekends at a fancy private resort
- lots of “i couldnt ask for a better family. Thanks for giving me 2 beautiful angels. I love you so much kitten” every night
- sleeping with a crying 2-year old boy squeezed in between you two
- sleeping with now a crying 2-year old boy and a 4-year old girl squeezed in between you two
- waking up with a 2-year old boy hugging your leg and a 3-year old girl’s head on your stomach with no Harry in sight
- breakfast on the bed made by Harry himself
- a loud mix of cries when Harry goes to work
- facetime every lunch break of your kids to Harry when he’s in work
- a lot of cuddles from your 2 angels while watching spongebob
- baby squeals all over the house when Harry gets home from work
- dinner on the living room while watching Disney


ask/request for more! ;—)
-L

things you should probably think about

okay i’m about to get real here:

  • henry lives with michael

  • they probably go furniture shopping together

  • you know damn well henry cooks all the time because michael doesnt know how

  • they go to get frozen yogurt together late at night because they get bored

  • michael makes henry watch kid movies with him because he doesnt want to look weird going to the theater alone

  • and henry makes michael watch wrestling with him even though he thinks its boring

  • henry likes saying things in spanish because he knows michael cant understand him

  • michael used to drive to the teen wolf set because henry would be too lazy

  • when henry threw michael that surprise birthday party, he made michael almost cry happy tears

  • michael recorded henry sexually caressing a lamp…. and put it on instagram

  • henry listens to michael sing and tries to battle him sometimes

  • they also have rap battles

  • they probably watch every episode of teen wolf together

  • and they also practice lines together; henry does a pretty good lydia impression

  • henry does the laundry because michael doesnt know how

  • they have movie nights with lots of popcorn and junk food and then they both feel really sick after but they do it at least 4 times a week

  • they both cried when they saw the good dinosaur (lets be honest who didnt???)

  • they go on hikes together

  • and they both love to take pretty sunset pictures

  • “hey is this one good?” “no take another one”

  • michael goes to bed first because he gets up early

  • and henry stays up until 2am stalking fans on twitter

  • henry and michael are like brothers and they are so cute :-)))))))

anonymous asked:

If Shiro and Allura supposedly date, how will it affect how they view their friendship in the past?

I think if anything they’ll view their friendship even more fondly than before, seeing all the little things that led up to them eventually falling for each other. I firmly believe that Shiro and Allura are friends for quite a while (at least one year if not more) before they move to anything romantic/start realizing they have romantic feelings for each other, and longer still to act on them. They’re both very focussed on saving the galaxy and their efforts as co-leaders, and I see them both as people all too willing to set aside their personal feelings for “the greater good”.

I also believe that while they are sappy/beautifully, head-over-heels in love with each other and freely show it when they do become a couple, they’re always friends first and foremost. 

I see the natural progression of their entire relationship as:

  1. Co-leaders: assessing each other’s skills and weaknesses, working together as a partnership to further the team’s bond and accomplish goals, leading to mutual admiration, respect, and working together excellently, learning each other’s thought processes, etc.
  2. Friends: develops from their positions as co-leaders but eventually becomes someone they know they can lean on, lots of late nights bc neither can sleep all that well these days, sparring together, sharing cultures and memories of before they were ripped away from their homes/families, slowly creating a real space they can be vulnerable and weak in around each other and receiving comfort,
  3. Falling-for-each-other: very gradual and they don’t realize for a long time, but when they do it hits them like a ton of bricks. Allura is in denial for a bit while Shiro just tries to bury his feelings. Both eventually come to the same undeniable conclusion. definitely post-season 1 at least
  4. Lovers: very tactile, always touching in some way. both love playing with each other’s hair. allura takes to kissing shiro’s scars. shiro holds her tightly whenever she cries. shiro extends him and Black’s telepathic link to allura in case anything ever goes wrong. tentatively imagine a life together after the war. know that if they go down, they go down swinging, together. lots of cuddling in bed (clothes are optional). 

gardening-darling  asked:

Okay okay okay - Sebastian and Ciel have grown a lot closer lately, and share most nights together. One night, the two of them get into a big fight because Sebastian says something callous and Ciel is too stubborn to listen to him. The little Earl kicks the demon from his bed and cries himself to sleep. They are cold to one another the next day, still angry and both full of pride. This goes on for weeks until finally neither of them can bear it any longer. Who caves first?

“Master, please! Listen to me, I didn’t mean it that way. I-” Sebastian pleaded as he tried to correct the situation but Ciel cut him off.

“Out!” Ciel pointed toward the door with an angrily glare and tears welling up in his eyes. He didn’t say the words ‘it’s an order’ but the demon understood things anyway. He got off the bed. Blackness wrapped around him and formed his butler uniform. Bowing, he excused himself and left for the night. When the door closed, Ciel sniffled and brought his knees up to his chest. Hugging his legs, he cried hard. After some long minutes when he exhausted himself, he laid down and hugged a pillow. Ciel cried for a bit more until he was too tired and sleep was too tempting.


The first day was the worst. Neither said anything, not even looked at each other. Sebastian resorted only to his basic duties, nothing more, nothing less. As time drew on, the butler tried to make advances to relax his master a little, possibly talk to him. But whenever he started discussing the issue, Ciel cut him off with an order and the man had no other choice but to obey. The servants noticed a long time ago and they started to grow more concerned with each day. They tried to talk to Sebastian, they tried to talk to Ciel, they tried to bring them together and help them get over their fight even though they didn’t know what it was about. They tried everything they could, but nothing worked.

One day, the letter from the Queen arrived. Ciel had a new assignment and that meant he’d have to speak with Sebastian more often. Already, his sharp mind came up with a plan. He’d speak to his butler only in regard to the case and any other orders, no more, no less.

That’s how everything went so far. Though Sebastian was willing to fall on his knees and beg to forgiveness just so that his master wouldn’t treat him this way, Ciel didn’t allow him any chance to do that.

One forsaken day, Sebastian was away completing yet another order, a task he now dreaded instead of enjoying, Ciel did something on his own that he shouldn’t have. He should have called Sebastian back, but when he saw the killer trying to get away, he went after him on his own. It was through the contract that Sebastian realized something was wrong.

Light lightning, he bolted to the port and found his master on a private ship. The boy succeeded in taking down the suspect but in the process he got heavily injured. Seeing the boy laying there in a puddle of his own blood made Sebastian’s own blood run cold. He came up to Ciel and fell on his knees. With a trembling hand, he turned the small body over onto its back from its side and the demon gasped at the sight of the wound on the chest. “Master!” Sebastian exclaimed as he gathered up Ciel in his arms, his face showing the kind of terror he hadn’t felt ever before. Ciel’s eyes opened weakly and he smiled at the sight of the butler. Sebastian exhaled with relief. “Hold on, Master. I’ll get you the help that you need!” Sebastian was about to lift Ciel up but a weak raise of a shaking hand made the demon stop. Sebastian took the small hand into his own and looked at the boy, swallowing nervously.

“Sebastian…” Ciel started in a husky voice.

“Please, master, don’t speak. You need your strength.” Sebastian moved again. He picked Ciel up into his arms and stood up.

“Sebastian.” Ciel managed to weakly grasp the front of the demon’s jacket. “I… About the fight… I don’t blame you.” Sebastian skidded to a stop and looked at his master with a new kind of fear. Ciel continued. “It’s just your nature… I don’t blame you.”

“Master… What are you saying?” Sebastian didn’t recognize his own tone.

“You may be the devil… But you are the best thing that happened to me in my wretched life.” Ciel’s voice was stronger as he said the sentence before his eyes rolled back and closed.

“MASTER!” Sebastian screamed and he most likely could have been heard for at least a kilometer away. Scowling and gritting his teeth, his eyes promising death to anyone who stood in his way, Sebastian was on his way to the hospital. He stopped in front of the doors right when he realized he couldn’t trust these humans. In an instant, he was in Undertaker’s workshop. The disturbing man came out of the back room with a bit of a chuckle but then stilled and fell silent. “I don’t care how… But make sure that he lives.” Sebastian’s voice sounded dark and unearthly.

“Oof! Butler, you give me the goosebumps!” Undertaker said. “Yes, yes. Come over here.”


Ciel awoke within the week from a short coma. When Sebastian sensed his master coming to his consciousness, he ran to his room faster than the speed of sound and stood at his bedside stiffly like a soldier at attention. Ciel’s eyes found the demon and he smiled warmly.

HEY EXCLUSIONISTS

both of my cats are named after adam sandler and i want your opinion on them

(ignore the selfie i blurred my face out) this is sandler and he’s my oldest baby at almost 5 years. he used to be a stray in a cat colony by my house but i just grabbed him and took him home one day. he responds to the names “sandler”, “oliver”, and “peanut” because when we first took him to the vet i was too ashamed to tell them i named my cat sandler adams so i told them his name was oliver crookshanks. my dad calls him peanut because my dad is wrong.

he’s very snuggly and he’s a lap cat (he’s on my lap in the picture). he HAS to sleep near me at all times, and sometimes he wakes me up at night because he jumps on my bed and he’s crawling on my chest and starting to knead and sometimes he kneads my face by accident because he wants to be as close to me as possible. he’s a big baby with separation anxiety and he’s afraid of everyone except me and my dad.

this is happy gilmore and she’s my sassy baby kitten. she’s 2 years old and she’s very touch-averse!! she hates being pet on her head and back and paws because she was abused as a kitten before we rescued her. it was around the 4th of july and a bunch of kids were shooting fireworks at her face, she was really messed up, bloodied, and traumatized. 

she’s doing a lot better now though!! sometimes, on her terms, she’s come up to me, and if i wiggle my fingers by her face she’ll rub her cheeks against them!! she loves belly rubs before she goes to bed and if you rub her belly just right, she’ll purr for you!! she has a resting mean-face, but she cries loudly when she wants attention. which is all the time. she likes strangers and she’ll go up to them and sniff them and if they’re lucky she’ll rub her cheek against their fingers before going away.

thoughts? opinions?

Guys but

Lexark sin

Like

- Alicia is definitely a power bottom

- Elyza is a service top but sometimes also a regular top

- Alicia is the only one Elyza feels comfortable being a bottom with. It’s not often, but when it happens, Alicia always makes sure to take extra care of her.

- Elyza cries that one time during sex and Alicia hasn’t stopped teasing her about it because she’s a sassy teenage hoe and it honestly wasn’t even a life or death situation, Elyza is just so extra and she has a lot of feelings okay; Elyza doesn’t mind cause she’s a snarky asshole most of the time, so she gives as good as she gets.

- Secretly Alicia loves how emotional Elyza can get in bed.

- Yes you heard me Elyza is the emotional one. She holds hands with Alicia as she goes down on her and she cups the back of her head so Alicia doesn’t smash her head on a headboard/wall/whatever flat surface they’re going at it against. She also always gently kisses that one ticklish spot on Alicia’s stomach. They don’t talk about it.

- Elyza is Alicia’s first, Alicia is not Elyza’s first, but it’s okay because a) slut shaming is stupid and b) it’s Alicia that makes Elyza come so hard she sees stars, not some other girl.

- Alicia discovers she likes it rough. Like, sometimes she just needs Elyza to fuck her hard against the wall. She wants to wrap her legs around the blonde as Elyza pounds away at her. She’s been discretely looking for strap-ons every stop, because the thought of Elyza fucking her brains out with powerful thrusts is enough to push her over the edge.

- Elyza is the first one to say “I love you”. It doesn’t happen while they are having sex, as Alicia predicted, because hello her blonde is always super emotional at some point during their lovemaking. The blonde whispers it while they are trying to catch their breaths, Alicia cuddled to her chest, tracing Elyza’s tattoos.

- Alicia loves her tattoos because they are badass and sexy and turn her on like nobody’s business. Elyza gets another one on the road: an infinity sign drawn by Alicia on her chest, right above her heart. Alicia was against the idea at first because cmon they are in the middle of an apocalypse and that dude isn’t a poster child for hygiene, but Elyza does it anyway (not before carefully examining the guy’s equipment and sterilizing everything twice; turns out Elyza is a bit of a germaphobe and really likes being clean). When they make love, Alicia always brushes her lips over the new tattoo. They don’t talk about it.

- Their first time is a bit awkward and a bit fumbling because Elyza is already so in love and thinks Alicia isn’t, and Alicia is like lowkey in love and thinks Elyza is up for a casual thing but not something more. Elyza makes Alicia come with her mouth and Alicia LOSES IT. She flips Elyza over and straddles her and rides her and the blonde has never been more turned on in her young life. They come together (Elyza times it so they do but Alicia doesn’t know that), with Elyza shyly entwining their fingers.

- Alicia is a screamer; Elyza is a grunter. She also sighs a lot, which drives Alicia crazy.

- Alicia’s moans are enough to make Elyza come, as has been proven on several occasions.

- Alicia is so thirsty for Elyza’s biceps and Elyza is a slut for her legs. Like. Have you fucking seen those legs?

- Honestly both of them are just horny teenagers in love whose thirst for each other can’t be quenched and they go at it every chance they get, because life is short and ugly but also beautiful because there are no obligations and no laws and no burdens; all they have is each other and adults are perfectly capable of defending themselves and making a level-headed decision without the help of two teenage girls in love.

- Elyza thinks Alicia is beautiful when she comes; Alicia thinks Elyza is ethereal.

how each sign acts when they have bad period cramps

(Or just on their period in general. This was requested.
Probably check your moon, Mars, sixth house… I don’t know.)

Aries: actually being the devil and probably screaming a little

Taurus: eating lots of comfort food, sleeping, and watching Gilmore Girls

Gemini: complaining a lot and probably spends most of their time laying on their bed listening to music at loud volumes

Cancer: takes some painkillers and cries naps for a few years

Leo: cries and complains like the world is ending (and if you say “it’s not the end of the world” they’ll probably reply with “WELL IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD FOR MY UTERUS RIGHT NOW” so you better not speak)

Virgo: tries to pretend that nothing’s wrong and goes about their day as they normally would, making it worse and regretting it, also being extra bitchy (but they’re allowed to so let them)

Libra: 😐 😟 😠 😡 😔 😕 ☹️ 😣 😩 😮 😱 😨 😦 😧 😢 😥 😒 😓 😭 😬

Scorpio: locks themselves away in their room with Netflix and chocolate

Sagittarius: drinks water all day… wait that’s vodka, isn’t it

Capricorn: gets tears on their homework, then sleeps

Aquarius: think American Psycho 🔪

Pisces: *becomes Ron Swanson*

Dark Paradise Part 2.

Tagged: @x0babymeganx0

A/N: sooo, this is part two. in this, we see a softer side of Joker’s. I feel like this is a little out of character for him since I’ve never really seen his soft side. I’m pretty sure he does have one but not like this lol I decided not to write a summary for this since its in the first one and I can’t write one without spoiling the story, ah! there will be a part three. I know how you guys hate to wait but it bothers me how long it’s going to be for some reason haha! but don’t hate meeee, anyway, hope you enjoy. this part is dark too.

Warnings: swearing, sexual abuse, surgery

———————————————

y/n wakes up. she had a bad dream. she couldn’t really remember what it was but she was sweating and panting. it was about 3 am. J woke up to her panting.

“are you all right?” he said as he tried to grab her shoulder. she flinched. her eyes are filled with tears.

“I—im fine, I just had a bad dream.” she said, with her eyes closed, inhaling and exhaling. “my head kinda hurts.” she whined.

J gets up and goes downstairs to go get her some aspirin and water. he comes back and she’s sobbing. he sighs and walks over to her side of the bed and sits on the edge as he sets down the stuff her got her on the night stand.

“what’s wrong, doll?” he says, stroking her hair. she instantly feels disgusted. not with Mr. J but with herself.

“no, please, don’t touch me..” she sobs, backing away.

“are you still mad? y/n, just let me explain—”

“no!” she sniffled. “I’m still very upset with you but that’s not why— look, I can’t explain but just please leave me alone.” she says, still crying and looking away.

J’s non existent eyebrows furrow. he gets up to get a pillow and blanket and walks out slamming the door. he didn’t think he made her that upset. he walks downstairs to the living room to go to sleep on the couch.

————————————————

its been over two months now. there has been tension between them every day since that night. he’s hardly ever home because he’s out looking for the guy who fucked her up. he’s destroyed every place in Gotham trying to look for him. whenever he tried to stay home so he can be with her, she refused to be around him. she remembered everything and decided to forgive him after he explained himself. she was tired of being mad anyway. she hasn’t told him about the rape so she’s been dealing with it herself. she doesn’t want Mr. J looking for the guy either because she just wants to forget about it. she knows if she tells him, it’ll be a whole lot worse. she’s not very comfortable around any guy anymore. not even J. the house is always filled with men, so she usually stays in the room now. it always bothered J how she acted around him or his henchmen but he never said anything. until now.

J decided that he wanted to celebrate a huge heist that went perfect. he thought he and y/n needed to loosen up a bit. he wanted to get her happy again so he thought a night out would cheer her up a bit. he decided to make dinner reservations at a 5 star restaurant. of course, he still has most of his guys looking for the scumbag but he wanted to take a break.

“y/n, darling?” he knocked on the bedroom door.

“come in.” her voice was barely audible.

“I have a surprise for you, baby.” he grins, approaching the bed to sit on the edge.

she was buried under the bed sheets reading a book.

her eyes lit up.

“what is it?” she said, closing the book as she sits up.

“just get dressed and meet me downstairs, doll.” he replied.

he reached out to stroke her face but she flinched and back away. she frowns and looks down.

Instantly, J becomes pissed off.

“what has gotten into you?” he growled as he got up. he smoothed his hair down roughly. “I haven’t been able to touch you for weeks! you know, I have needs, y/n. your kidnapping happened weeks ago, why are you still acting like this?!” he shouts.

y/n wanted to cry but she held the tears back and replaced her sadness with anger. she gets up and starts shouting too.

“are you fucking kidding me? do you really think I’d be over this in a fucking month or two? it was TRAUMATIZING, J!” her eyes filled up with tears. “this shit could take YEARS! you don’t want to deal with it? you don’t fucking have to! go get yourself someone that can actually fulfill your needs, someone that didn’t go through what I did, make shit easier on yourself!” she spat. she was panting from how angry she was.

“you know what?!—”

before he can say anything else, she starts to feel nauseous. J notices and pauses. she feels her stomach acting up and runs to the bathroom. she starts throwing up whatever she ate earlier and the day before. J followed her and stayed in the door way. it was pretty bad. the smell and sight of vomit just made her want to throw up more.

“What the fuck is going on, y/n?” he asked, in the midst of her throwing up.

she finished and flushed the toilet.

“I-I..” she said, trying not to break her voice.

“just say it, god damn it!” he growled.

she gets up infuriated.

“I WAS RAPED, OKAY? RAPED! THERE! YOU HAPPY?!” she shouted, bursting out in tears. she puts down the toilet seat aggressively and sits on it.

J calms down in an instant. he felt bad. he didn’t know what to do. so many questions came to mind but only one stood out. there was a long awkward pause between them until J finally decided to ask her.

“…are you pregnant?” he growled low.

y/n is still sobbing her eyes out. she’s sitting her the elbow on her lap and palm on her forehead. she took a test a few weeks before and went to the doctor’s to make sure. she was pregnant. she was trying to hide it from J until she can figure something out but it’s far too late now. she ignores his question and continues crying.

J walked up to her, to grab her face so he forces her to look at him. she flinched but he didn’t care this time. he stared into her bloodshot eyes filled with tears.

“answer me.” he snarled.

she nods. she doesn’t think he caught that but he did. his face flushed. he was shaking with rage. he releases y/n aggressively.

“I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch.” he growled.

“can you please stop?! I just want to forget about the whole thing. just drop it. stop fucking looking for him. stop fucking doing this.” she said, as she got up to get in his face.

he laughs.

“I wasn’t talking about the scumbag that did this to you.” he said, glaring at her stomach. “now he’s going to have it way worse.”

her heart instantly drops to her stomach.

“you wouldn’t.. you wouldn’t hurt me.” she said with her voice breaking, clutching her stomach.

“who said I was going to hurt you?” he whispered.

“you’re not hurting my baby, J. I swear, you try anything and I’ll leave! try me.” she snarled.

“are you serious, y/n? you’re planning on keeping that thing?” he said, raising his voice after every word. “you don’t want me looking for the asshole because you want to forget about it but yet you’re keeping the damn spawn? that little shit is going to be a constant reminder, y/n, you’ll be a mess. come on, you’re smarter than that.” he replied.

“it’s not the baby’s fault!—”

“that’s not the point! you’re so naive. it’s a baby conceived by rape. how are you gonna explain that to the kid, huh?! come on, tell me!” he shouted.

she stood quiet. she didn’t know what to say or do but cry.

“I’m not going to explain or say anything to it.” she whispered.

“then what are you gonna do? I’m not gonna act like the father, that’s for damn sure—”

“IM NOT ASKING YOU TO, OKAY?!” she yelled.

he stood quiet. he’s never seen her this mad or stressed. he was still very upset.

“I don’t want to get rid of it, J.” she said softly. “it’s not the baby’s fault.” she sniffled.

J finally feels sympathetic for her and hugs her, letting her sob into his chest.

“all I wanted was your support! y-you don’t know what it was like!” she sobbed. “it’s been so hard and I’ve been dealing with this alone!” she cried harder.

whilst holding her, he takes her to the bed so they can sit.

“baby, I’m sorry. i didn’t mean to yell at ya. I’m just stressed and you have no idea how hard I’ve been trying to make you happy.” he said, putting a piece of her hair behind her ear. “you don’t have to deal with this alone anymore. I’m here now.” he said, kissing her forehead.

she feels calmer now.

she sniffled. “thank you, J. it means a lot.” she goes in for a soft kiss.

“as for the baby, darling..” he sighed.

she rolls her eyes. she feels herself tense up again.

“I don’t do this very often but I’m begging you..” she looks her straight in the eye. “don’t keep it.”

“but, J!” she begins crying again.

he shuts his eyes and sighs deeply through his nose. she can tell he’s trying to control his anger.

“look, I know you’ve always wanted a baby. me? I just want to see you happy.” he puts his hand on her shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. “ this baby,” he paused to a second, trying to find the write words to explain himself. “isn’t going to make you happy. it’s going to make you miserable. trust me. it’s just a constant reminder.” he continued. “I don’t want to see you like this every day. I care about you, doll. but if you think it’ll make you happy, then keep it. the only reason it’ll be here, it’s because it’s yours too. i hope you don’t expect me to act fatherly towards it because I won’t. it’s not mine and it will never be. do I make myself clear?” he said, low and slow.

his mouth said keep it, but his eyes were saying something else.

he tilted her head up by lifting it with his index finger. she pulls away and nods with tears still in her eyes.

“good.” he whispers, kissing her softly.

he gets up and leaves the room so they can both calm down. maybe it worked for J but it didn’t work for y/n. he decided to cancel the dinner since he wasn’t really up for it.

after he left, she cried really hard. she didn’t know what to do. she wanted J to be happy too and she knew keeping her baby wouldn’t keep him happy. she decided to call a free clinic to make an appointment for an abortion.

anything for him.’ she thought to herself.

the appointment was the next morning. she got up to get ready for bed. she brushed out her hair, brushed her teeth, and washed her face. when she was done, she set an alarm and crawled back into bed causing her to fall fast asleep.

————————————————

the next morning she woke up to her alarm. she didn’t see any sign of J anywhere. she got up and got in the shower. she took her time in the shower since she needed time to relax. the warm water running down her body helped her. when she got out, she dried her self up. she wrapped her towel around her body and walked out of the bathroom to look for some clothes to wear. she decided to wear casual clothing. black jeans and a black t shirt with combat boots. she got herself dressed then blow dried her hair. once it was dry, she braided it to the side and loosened it a bit. she moved onto her makeup and that’s when she started feeling nervous. she stared at herself in her vanity mirror.

you gotta do this. if not for you, do it for J.

she repeated this statement in her head countless times before continuing. she held back her tears and put on a bit of foundation. she added a light contour with some green highlight that you’d only be able to tell its green in a bright light. she winged her eyeliner and added mascara with a nude lip. she was ready.

she went downstairs to see if the coast was clear from Mr. J. everyone was gone except the housekeepers.

“hey, um, do you know where J went? or when he’ll be back?” she asked a maid.

“I don’t, I’m sorry, miss.” she replied, trying not to make eye contact.

y/n sighed. “thanks, anyway. um, I’ll be back in a few hours, okay? if he asks, just tell him I’m at the clinic.” she says with a half smile.

the maid hesitantly nods and gets back to work.

y/n exhaled and made her way out the door. she thought about taking her car but she wouldn’t be able to drive back after the procedure so she decided to call a taxi.

when she arrived at the clinic she started to tense up again. in the waiting room, she kept repeating the statement in her head again. she was interrupted when a nurse called her name.

“y/n l/n?”

she got up and followed the nurse.

they weighed her, took her blood pressure, and checked her temperature. the nurse then put her in a room where she can wait for a doctor to finish up his current patient. the nurse asked y/n some medical questions. after every answer, she would write it out on the computer.

“are you allergic to anything?”

“no.” click—type—click.

“have you had any type of surgery before?”

“don’t think so.” click—type—click.

“are you taking any medication?”

“no, not anymore. I use to take fluxotine for depression.” click—type—click.

“what’s the reason for having an abortion?”

“I was, uh, raped. my boyfriend doesn’t want it and neither do I.” she replied, holding back her tears.

the nurse looks at her.

click—type—click.

she rolls her chair towards y/n.

“I know this was a very hard decision to make. but you’ll get through it. having an abortion does not make you a bad person at all. I’m sorry this happened to you.” the nurse hands her a card. “this is a 24 hour hot-line for young adults are dealing with this type of stuff. call it whenever you want, if you need to talk to anyone about anything, okay? if you need to get back on your anti depressants then you should schedule an appointment with your doctor.” she said putting her hand on her shoulder. “the doctor will be here for you shortly.” she said with a half smile.

y/n nods and the nurse gets up and leaves.

the nurse left a gown for her to get into for when the doctor arrived. y/n got out of her clothes and into the gown. she waited for the doctor for about half an hour. she was starting to get anxious again but then the doctor came in and interrupted her thoughts.

“hello, I’m Dr. Parker. you must be..” he paused. “y/n.” she smiled.

she seemed friendly.

“um, yeah.”

“alright, do you have any questions before we start?” she asked.

“..is it gonna hurt?…” y/n hesitantly asked.

“well you have a choice to be fully awake and aware during the procedure or we can put you on heavy anesthetic. due to how far along you are, we have to give you a surgical removal. afterwards, it’ll just feel like you’re on your period. alright?”

she nods. “I just want to be on general anesthetic the whole time if that’s okay.”

“sure thing. I’m gonna have to give you a shot before we start then. lie on your back.” she smiled.

once she injected y/n, she started getting sleepy.

“alright, you won’t feel a thing, okay? just relax and go to sleep.”

y/n fell asleep as Dr. Parker moved onto the procedure.

thanks to the tablet she place between y/n’s legs earlier, it made everything go easy. the doctor placed an instrument through the neck of the womb and suctioned everything out clean. it took about more than half an hour to finish.

when she was done, she noticed y/n starting to open her eyes.

“is—is it done?” y/n slurred.

“yes, now I’ll just have a nurse escort you to the recovery room, okay? she’ll have your clothes and everything. it was a pleasure meeting you, y/n.”

the same nurse from earlier helps her get up and walk to the recovery room. she laid her down. y/n was still seeing things pretty blurry. the anesthetic took 20 mins to wear off a little bit. the nurse offered her something to drink or a snack but she declined. she felt terrible. but she knew she did the right thing. the nurse gave her pain killers for the “cramps” as they called it. once the anesthesia completely wore off, the nurse helped her get dressed and called a taxi for her. she escorted her out and helped her into the car. she gave y/n a bottle of pain killers before doing so.

the taxi took her to her house which was a long drive. it was still early in the day so she assumed J wasn’t home yet. she was wrong.

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