This quote has been in my head for a long time (I think it’s from a movie or something), and I’m sure it wasn’t meant in this context, but it reminds me of internalized abuse.
Especially now with mega church pastor Creflo Dollar in the news for chocking and beating his daughter - an many of his parishanors speaking out against her calling the police on him… Its really telling to how women, especially black women, are just expected to remain in a certain place or risk physical and emotional abuse. Even with the quote I posted earlier with Beyonce’s praised motherhood vs Erykah Badu’s vilified motherhood - black women get degraded to unspeakable levels for stepping out of such narrowly drawn lines.
Imagine growing up in that life. With controlling fathers and mothers who co-sign that ideology. It’s hard to develop a legitimate belief that you DON’T deserve to be treated that way, or accept that treatment from lovers, friends, society. It’s hard to say “how dare you treat me that way” when that how you’ve always been treated. and its hard to feel safe when you’re used to those you care about hurting you. What does love even mean when abuse is almost always a part of the package anyway? These are things that need to be unlearned - but our society only reinforces these ideas everywhere you turn anyway.
It takes a village to raise a child but if that entire village promotes toxic relationships, abuse and the emotional manipulation of you girls… She’s better off on her own.