Marketing and Communications Director
1. what is your present state of mind?
It is 10:32 p.m. I am in a Ramada in Frankfurt moderately buzzing on apple wine and working on a package of mixed Haribo licorice+gummies. I am concerned about my weight because I broke down and ate some weird french fry and sauce dish downtown today and I haven’t been to the gym in 2 weeks. Every few minutes I go and run the stairs in the hotel and then do a 60 second plank. Then I come back to my ipad and check facebook and play automated cribbage while nursing the apple wine. Simultaneously, I am fantasizing about getting a hazelnut bar from downstairs and almost unconsciously spooning these Haribos into my mouth while compartmentalizing my angst about probable weight gain. This seems to be my normal travel mindset.
I am wearing dirty pjs and have the AC on high and am listening to Julian Lynch.
2. where were you born?
Halifax, Nova Scotia
3. where do you live now?
Halifax, Nova Scotia
4. where would you like to live?
I would like to live in Fukuoka or Munich or Montreal. Those are the only places I have liked as much as Halifax. Basically, I like living in a clean place with friendly people. I would like to live in New York but living in America frightens me because it is such an extreme country and I worry about going to hospitals or getting fat. I think my ideal city needs to have a huge park and be far away from my family.
5. do you think you’re interesting?
I don’t know. I think I’m nice and I think that there are other people who like me and that feels nice. I get complimented at least once a week and that seems like more than any person could ask for or really need. I think I am playful in a way that people find interesting but I don’t know.. I am probably moderately intriguing to most.
6. how is your love life?
I think it is adequate. I probably achieve 4-10 orgasms a month. I think I am a generally sexual person with very few perversions but a good deal of lust and desire.
7. what were you like as a child?
I was a prized only-child known for cute behavior and odd but adorable comments. I was raised primarily by my grandfather who was the the only parent to ever provide me with unconditional love.
I was a generally quiet and good student that was close to the popular children but never part of their in-crowd because I was fat, odd and poorly dressed. I read a lot and played SNES with my cousins (all boys) and began to isolate myself because my father seemed to genuinely not give s shit about my existence and that left me feeling inadequate and unwhole as a human.
I blossomed physically and in turn became very popular. I was featured on school sports teams and in plays and I enjoyed frequent parties and drinking festivities. I began having casual sex and seeing my body as a tool and object with which to control my social position. I fell in love with my History teacher at this time and also became obsessed with journaling.
Attended University and had a standard experience. Majored in Business and Political Science then topped up a victory lap with an English major. I drank a lot and exercised a lot and met all of my closest friends and began to study marketing and internet identity at this time.
Age 25 on
Nothing really has happened. I have a nice job and a pseudonymous online personality which in turn is a writer. I no longer feel like a child.
8. what did you eat today?
A glass of orange juice, Muesli and yogurt, a mini-croissant, an egg white, a bowl of mixed fruit, 5 cups of coffee, a french fry goop thing, a tofu salad, a hazelnut bar, a bag of Haribo treats, apple wine, some beer, lots of mineral water.
9. have you ever created culture or art?
Yes, I have written and published a number of stories. I have a novel coming out later this month. It’s called Action, Figure. I host a litzine called Metazen that publishes stories and poems five days a week. I also host Alt Lit Gossip which seems to have a life of its own and chronicles the lives and goings on of a community of online writers.
10. do you like drinking alcohol or using drugs?
I enjoy drinking regularly and am not opposed to people using drugs recreationally although I am presently drug free. I think my goal is to eventually go alcohol free as well, although this may not be possible unless I seal my mouth.
11. what kind of people do you hate?
I don’t hate, but I intensely dislike people that have no awareness of their surroundings i.e stand in places where people are meant to walk through. I really don’t like people who think they are great and have no traces of humbleness. I am put off by grandeur and intellectualism for the sake of demeaning others. I don’t easily forgive people that regularly gossip or bash others. I can’t be around glass-half-full personalities. I also can’t be near dull people without imagination or humor for too long.
12. what are your goals, if you have any?
I don’t know I want to be able to enter a meditative state with a higher frequency. Saying this is almost a function of ego, but I would really like to achieve enlightenment in the Eastern sense of the word. My major goal in life has been to have a novel published (http://www.tinyhardcorepress.com/books/current-titles/action-figure/), anything published after that would be cherries. My life is complete I think.
13. do you have any depressing stories about your life?
Yes. A lot of my early twenties were filled with first world problems related to heartbreak and existential angst and spiritual turmoil and a sense of being misunderstood and other stupid little bitchy things.
14. who are your favorite authors?
David Foster Wallace and Dostoyevsky. I really do love Blake Butler and xTx and Marcus Speh as writers. I have read everything by Dennis Cooper, Tao Lin, Haruki Murakami, Burroughs, Scott McClanahan and Ellis. I keep a reading journal here
15.what will you be doing ten years from now?
I imagine most of the same. Trying to imbibe all I can and understand the confusing things around me. Saving up for a modest amount of travel, writing, mediating. I will work hard to be less neurotic and skinny. I might have a garden of some sort.
Make $1000/week with Uber