It’s hard to convince myself I don’t need someone by my side anymore.
For 5 months of my life I had you, to talk to, to love, to be loved by.
You consumed so much of me, took over so much of my life and without you so much was taken.
Your words were taken. Your body. Car rides curled into your side. Sleeping in your arms. Talking until late at night. Seeing each other in the morning. Getting into trouble together. Summer nights with all of our friends. Loving together.
The absence of you in a sense was the absence of me. You took pieces of my life that I thought had been set in stone.
But it was all temporary, you were temporary.
—  v.m
Tell me, am I finally losing my mind?
When I fell for you, all these years ago, there were so many things about you that appeared simply irresistible.
You used to care so much, about the people close to you but also those who had never met you before, you used to be able to sense someone’s sadness in a heartbeat and light up their whole day with a few genuine words and an honest smile.
I remember the way you greeted anybody with an adorable laugh and how you stood up for other people’s rights, not even tolerating a guy with a sexist shirt to breath the same air as you.
And god, you did not just meet all my standards; you are the one who set them for everyone that will follow.
You used to be my perfect secret example of all the good things in our wold and everything that is worth fighting for.
However, when I am looking at you now, I cannot spot any of these things any longer.
You literally do not care about anything any more and where used to be heartwarming empathy is now ignoring silence.
And every one of your ‘jokes’ about women actually breaks my heart because this is not you.
This is not the man I fell for, this is not the guy that I loved so much, with all these beautiful characteristics.
—  // so tell me, am I losing my mind?
Did you change so much or have I been blended by what I wanted to see in you for so long?
Am I no longer able to trust my judgement?
Holding on

What are we but lovers caught in a dream;
Entangled in a web of long gone wishes
Where only kisses breathe us alive,
We, trapped in a trance transcending time,
Locked is our distant gaze, craving eternity;
A single touch, what more could we want?

To remain close! – conjoined, is all we want:
Ethereal existence as in a dream,
Energy fusing in eternity,
We, longing to be but the sum of our wishes;
Sand never ruled by the hourglass of time,
Never falling, yet evolving, growing; alive.

I promise, our passion will forever remain alive,
This attraction fulfills the whole of our want;
We get lost in each other; in time! –
Skin to skin feels like a dream,
Let us stay drunk on love, high on our wishes;
Tightly clutched together for a sheer eternity.

This is destiny; our mortal grasp at eternity,
White sparkles inciting a flame forever alive,
Devouring us; stripping us of all wishes
Until we are consummated, free from want,
Absorbing the illusion of that lucid dream
Where your last kiss stops all time.

(Our moments will fade to memories in time.)

Us, promising and even expecting eternity;
Fools believe in such an idyllic dream! –
This last chance to keep you alive
Slowly slips away, wrenching my every want,
I see, only the heavens can grant wishes.

Bereft of hope, I whisper sweet death wishes,
Unable, no, reluctant to bide out my time
Now each waking day ends in the want
To gently slip into oneiric eternity,
The only place where I find you, still alive.

Alas, it is always just a dream.

Written by @denmysterywoman,
and @definegodliness

anonymous asked:

Prompts for a hero and a villain meeting for the first time?

You know me so well, I am slightly ashamed.

1) “Now, I don’t think I’ve seen you around before,” the villain said. They moved closer, watching the hero with an undisguised curiosity.
“They’re no one.”
“I think I’ll be the judge of that.”

2) The villain swept past, tossing their bloodied coat into the hero’s arms along with a severed hand and two toes.
“Get that dry cleaned for me.”

3) “You’re good, I’ll give you that – but I’m better.”

4) The hero charged after the villain, airless with grief, lunging to attack. They were batted aside as if they were nothing. Attacked again, heart in mouth, and this time the villain caught hold of their wrists. Eyeing them dispassionately.
“I’ve killed people for less,” they said. “But I think life would hurt you more.”

5) “I know you’re hurting.” The villain drew them close over the stench of blood and decay, tucking them into the crisp cleanness of their coat to ward off the chill. It was warm and soft, hiding the horror around them both. The hero shuddered, hitching around another sob. “It’s alright,” the villain continued. “I’m going to help you avenge the person who did this to you.”

6) “I’ll stop you.”
“You wouldn’t be the first to try.”

7) The day my little brother was born, I swore I’d do anything to protect him. Fragile as a baby bird in the crib, all big eyes and giggles for me. That didn’t change when he turned into a complete bastard.

8) “You,” the villain murmured. “Are the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. There could be a place for someone like you at my side.”
“I’d rather die.”
“They all say that, until they’re dying.”

9) “We both just want what’s best for our people,” the hero said. “Surely we can come to some kind of compromise?”
“You’re adorable. I think I’ll keep you.”

10) “I am a visionary.”
“You’re a monster.”
“I find that’s by far the most uncreative insult people come up with for the things they don’t understand.”
“I don’t want to understand you, I want you to stop hurting people.”

11) There was no one else around. The hero looked around, not particularly wanting to approach the well-dressed and frankly intimidating figure standing on the other end of the train station. But what choice did they have? The hero approached, drawing a breath for courage.
“Hi – I’m sorry to bother you – could I borrow your phone?”
The villain looked at them as if they’d asked for a vital organ transplant.

12) “Stand down, I’m not here for you.”
The hero stepped in the way again, shoulders squared.

13) “So,” the villain said. “You want my help.”
The villain smiled. “Then beg.”

You’ll eventually understand why every choice you made in life was the right choice because every path you took lead you to this moment. And you are now and always forever broken, forever becoming, and forever changed.
—  Juansen Dizon // The Butterfly Effect 
An excerpt from a story I'll never write

“For once just be something more than ordinary. Goddammit,” she heaved, exasperated, “speak up for once, take a stand for once. Don’t let the world blur by in a flurry of excitement and opportunity while you sit by twirling your thumbs. Instead of stopping to smell the roses, plant some. Take an actual leap of faith, go skydiving! You can even sleep around if that’s what it takes!Do something– do anything to get that overwhelming bubbling in the pit of your stomach.” She stared at him, her breathing ragged and labored. The absence of her profuse screaming was defending, like hearing the sound of your own heart beating in your ears.
“Please, I beg you, just do something to let me know the boy I fell for in the 4th grade is in there somewhere. For once, just allow the world to notice you. Why are you so afraid of being someone people take an interest in? ” She whispered, her tear filled eyes finding his empty ones. He stared at her a few moments longer; their gaze seemed to be locked in place, if was almost as if their unspoken words were materializing in the air and space between them. In their last moments, his eyes dropped, and she exhaled a breath she didn’t realize she’d as been holding. Turning her back to him and all she’d ever known, she picked up her keys and the duffle she’d packed and placed by the door. And with an unspoken goodbye, she left.
As her taillights began to fade, the silence was louder than the sound of the rain pounding the pavement outside and the beating in his chest drowned out the white noise of his solidarity.


I’m so afraid

afraid of what I’ve done

all the words I never said

Quitting before I’ve begun

Would you just…

hold me please, just for now

tell me it will be alright

someway, somehow

I’m afraid of this night

every wrong coming to get me

All my lies and hurtful words

come back, can’t you see

Everything counts,

it all matters-

every thought and deed

This tide has risen again

never to recede

In over my head, over my heart

drowning, sinking like a stone

the end before the start

as we’re born, we die alone

It’s alright, accept my fate

time now to go home

let this pain finally abate

I have spent my good time
cultivating roses.
I’m weary
of being
For once,
can I be
the flower?
A daisy
would be fine,
I have always liked those.
—  In a field of clovers, by M.A. Tempels © 2017

he, of poison promises,
replaced me with him:
i was the only thing
hollow enough to
store his evil

he was my bones my blood my sinew
he was my breath
he moved me around like a puppet
picking all the words for me

somehow i thought
that was the way things
were supposed  
to be

i only went away
when i became too full
when i was too
heavy with his hatred—

i tried to purge it out
but it’s still there

i tried to bleed it out
but it’s still there

a year and a half later
and it’s still there

The Guilty Game

Are you guilty?

Tagged by @denmysterywoman, thank you sweetheart <3

Rules: answer the questions with only “innocent” or “guilty”, with no explanation.

Asked someone to marry you?: Innocent

Kissed one of your friends?: Innocent

Danced on a table in a bar/tavern?: Probably guilty lol

Told a lie?: Guilty

Had feelings for someone you can’t have?: Guilty

Kissed someone of the opposite sex?: Guilty

Kissed someone of the same sex?: Innocent

Kissed a picture?: Innocent

Slept until 5 pm?: Innocent

Fallen asleep at work/school?: Innocent

Held a snake?: Innocent

Been suspended from school?: Innocent

Stolen something?: Guilty

Done something you regret?: Guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose?: Guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?: Guilty

Kissed in the rain?: Innocent

Sat on a rooftop?: Innocent

Sang in the shower?: Guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?: Innocent

Slept naked?: Guilty

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?: Innocent

Been in a band?: Innocent

Shot a gun?: Innocent

Donated blood?: Innocent

Eaten alligator meat?: Innocent

Eaten cheesecake?: Guilty

Still loved someone you shouldn’t?: Innocent

Have/had a tattoo?: Innocent

Been too honest?: Guilty

Ruined a surprise?: Innocent

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated so you couldn’t walk after?: Guilty

Erased someone from your friends list?: Guilty

Dressed in a man’s clothes?: Guilty

Dressed in a woman’s clothes?: Guilty

Joined a pageant?: Innocent

Been told you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?: Guilty

Still have communication with your ex?: Innocent

Cheated on someone?: Innocent

Got totally drunk the night before a big exam?: Innocent

Been treated by a total stranger paying your fare?: Guilty

Got so angry you cried?: Guilty

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good?: Guilty

Actually murdered someone?: Innocent

Thought about mass murder?: Innocent

Actually committed mass murder?: Innocent

Rode in a stranger’s vehicle?: Guilty

Stalked someone?: Guilty

Had a boyfriend?: Innocent

Had a girlfriend?: Innocent-ish

Been totally drunk on a holiday?: Innocent

God, I am boring hahahah well let’s tag @writies @justscribbledwords @renaudcr7 @cxrvisvbel @sarahmariepardy @maxwelldpoetry @excerptsofstories


A/N: Imagine waking up to find yourself handcuffed to Dean Winchester

Your eyes flashed open as the stiffness in your shoulder radiates down your wrists that sat uncomfortably behind your back. You jerk your bounded wrist forward, pulling with it another set of hands. You touch the hands, which were surprisingly warm and slightly calloused. It was then that you felt the muscular and hardened back pressed up against yours. You turn your head, but you couldn’t make out the figure, just dark brown hair and sideburn stubble.

“Are you awake?” The deep voiced asked, lifting his head. I shook my head. “Say something.” He says.

“Y-yes. I’m awake.” I croaked. “Who are you? Where am I?”

“Are you injured?”


“Can you move your legs?”

I looked down at my legs that were stretched out in front of me. “Yes, I can move my legs. No, I’m not injured.” I answered.

“Good. Can you stand?”

“Why are you so calm?” I asked.

He laughed. “Not my first rodeo.” He answered as we got to our feet. “The calmer you are the clearer your mind.”

“Who are you?”

He exhales sharply and I felt it roll down my spine, his voice vibrating against my skin. “I’m Dean. Dean Winchester.”

“Has your calm mind figured out a way out of these cuffs, Dean, Dean Winchester?”

“Actually, I have and it’s just Dean.” He says matter-of-factly.

He flipped me over his back effortlessly before I could scream. We now stood face to face and the anger I felt dissipated as I stared at him, momentarily mesmerized by his handsomeness. I wondered if he had a lot women drooling at his feet, I caught myself staring awkwardly and blinked, breaking his intense gaze as he smiled.

“Do you know where we are just Dean?” I asked gazing around at the dimly lit room.

“No.” I bit my inner cheek. Sensing my panic. “Nothing will happen to you while I am here, so relax.” He reassures.


He lifts his hands, my hands followed. “Yeah, as in woooosaaah. Inhale, exhale.”

“Are you kidding me? We have been kidnapped and you’re telling me to Zen?” I looked at him, unbothered as he studied one particular object on the wall. “Let me guess, you’ve been kidnapped before?”

He looks down at me. “You can say that.”

I pursed my lips. “This can’t be happening.”

“Well it is, doll.”

I rolled my eyes at him and looked down at our wrists. “Well?”

“Well, what?” He asked.

I lifted my hands. “The cuffs.”

“Oh, yeah, I need you to reach inside my pants pocket.”

I gaped at him. “What? Why?”

“I have a tool inside that can free us from these cuffs.” He paused for a second as the innuendo rolled around his head, he smirked at this. He steps closer to me, his breath inches from my face. He turns slightly and I slipped my hand into his pocket. He closes his eyes briefly, “Uhhh, that is NOT it.”

“Sorry, but it’s deep in there.” I exclaimed. He opens his mouth then closed it almost immediately. “I feel it, but your, um, your manliness is in the way.” I say as I felt the thickness of his manhood. “Can you move it?”

“My manliness.” He repeats. I glanced up at him looking away quickly when I noticed his eyes were on me.

I handed him the pouch, his deft fingers working the metal objects into the handcuff keyhole, freeing us within a few seconds.

I thanked him as I rubbed my wrists and stretched my arms. “Do you always have a handcuff removal kit on hand?”

He shrugged, replacing the tools into the pocket-sized leather pouch and back into his pocket. “In my line of work you always need to be prepared.”

“And what line of work is that?” I questioned.

He opened his mouth to speak, but thought against it. Instead he walked around the dimly lit room staring at the walls that held a few obscure and ornate objects.

Do you remember anything from last night?” He asked.

You remembered it all, the shots, the mixing of alcohol, the music, him licking salt from your wrists, his hands, the kiss, the liquid you slipped in his drink, the staggering walk to his car, the figures who hid the back of the car as you drove, every bit of it is embedded into your memory. But you couldn’t tell him that you did because you were paid to lure him here. Everything had a price, and Dean Winchester’s price was ten thousand dollars that would get you out of this Godforsaken shithole. 

How easily deception came to you, it was a well-known friend, second nature just like breathing. You had your part to play and once you opened that door you would be free. I blushed turning my back to him, “yeah, bits and pieces.” I lied as I recalled his lips on different parts of my body, soft, but manly, my skin humming from the remembrance of his touch.

“Yeah, same here.” He gestures to his head. “But it’s all coming back in flashes. Do you have a cell phone?”

I nodded. “Handing him my cell phone that was nestled deep inside my jacket pocket.

He turns his back to me and I walked slowly to the mirror that rested on the opposite wall. The door unexpectedly slams open; Castiel and Sam appeared in the doorway. 

I turned abruptly to find Dean a few paces way from me. “Whom are you working for?” He asked.

“You know?” I exclaimed, taking a step back towards the mirror. 

He nods. "That you tried to drug me or that you were paid to lure me here?" 

"How?" I asked, stepping closer to the mirror as Castiel and Sam approached, boxing me in.

"Dean are you alright?” Sam asked. 

Dean nods not taking his eyes off me.

“Kidnapping 101, don’t leave your phone in the open where the person you’re supposed to kidnap sees.”

I thought back as I recalled leaving my phone on the bar faced down when I went to the bathroom. He tosses my phone to me and I saw the reply to message.

"I didn’t write this.”

“No, but I did, when you went to the bathroom.” He repeats the message he wrote verbatim. “Liquid slipped in drink, he’ll be too drunk to know what hit him. Meet at car in twenty minutes.” 

“You remember.” I state.

“All of it honey. You played your part and so did I. I’ve got so many supernatural enemies that I can’t begin to think who would want me kidnapped. I really should start keeping a little black book of enemies…“ he rattles on. “So I’m going to ask you one more time. Whom are you working for?”

The mirror shatters to the floor as I ripped it off the wall revealing the unfinished symbols. I picked up a piece of the glass and cut my finger, so that I could make the final slash to complete the spell. Sam grabs my arm and pulls me to the floor his weight pressing into me before I could press my palm into the drawing. 

“Whom are you working for?” Sam repeats, pinning my arms to my side.

“They will kill me.” I pleaded.

“We can protect you.”

Castiel approaches uttering indecipherable incantations. You tried to move, but you were immobile as if an unseen force was holding you in place. He lifts his hand and places his palm against your forehead, he looks you in your eyes and the fear you felt slowly dissipated. “This won’t hurt.” He says to you and oddly enough you believed him.

“The answers are in the symbols,” I say, pointing to the writing on the wall.

“Tell us.” Castiel threatens.

You uttered the incantations they told you to say if you were in distress, glancing at the two figures standing behind Castiel. “No, no, no. Stop her!” Dean yells.

But is was too late, unbeknownst to you the blinding light engulfed your entire being, running through your soul, taking with it your memory of your night with Dean Winchester and everything you have every known.

End note: I wrote this as an open ended story, meaning that many stories can develop from this one if I choose to go back, such as why was Dean lured here? Who was the mystery woman? Who paid her? Why she erased her own memory? What the hell is that symbol on the wall? And all those other questions that I have.

Hope you enjoyed it!

  • A Poem

A Poem

I wrote them down
The words were soft
And then in anger
Turned to rot

And still I wrote
I couldn’t stop
Mark after mark
Thought after thought

They were the impacts
That I had
The callous acts
That made me mad

And every action
Of my hands
Come back at me
And hit me and

It never ends
The non truths
They carry on
They can’t pretend

They aren’t just words
They were my friends
And although they’ve
Come to an end

They will resurface
Once again
These thoughts, these words
They have a plan

Create emotion
Write it down
Smile, anger
Tears, and frowns

Although they’re silent
Make no sound
The memories
Are oh so loud

They never stop
They pound and pound
And remind me
Why I write them down

Too many words
I hope they’re found
Long after I am
In the ground

Remember me
I was born soft
And when I die
I’ll only rot

I can’t give much
When I am gone
So have these words
To carry on

To comfort you
When you are sad
To remind you
Of the life I had

There is no perfect life
My friend
Every beginning
Has its end

But that doesn’t mean
That death is dead
Go change the world
While you still can

I kept thinking
about the first time
you laid your hands on me.
How the light touch
of your fingertips
set off fireworks
inside my bones and
sent vibrations to my soul.
I remembered that
you laughed a lot
but I forgot the reason why.
I was busy admiring how
your eyes reflected the light
coming from the window sill
and how I wanted to know
how your lips tasted like.
Now I realize that every
moment spent with you shined.
Now I know that I am
utterly and undeniably,
addicted to you.
—  lm // addicted to you