TED: Four chefs, one chance at a ten thousand dollar prize. They must create an unforgettable meal using the mystery ingredients provided, or they will be chopped. Let’s meet our contestants. First, Chef Angela.
ANGELA: I’m Angela, I’m sous chef at Le Snobbe in Omaha Nebraska. My specialty is Scottish with an Asian twist. I need to win this so my parents will take me seriously.
TED: Next we have Chef Madagascar.
MADAGASCAR: I run the Shaggoth Catering Company. My family came over from Kazantzan to build a better life here, but my brothers all died of the plague the second our house foreclosed. I need the ten thousand dollars to buy my mother a new kidney.
TED: Chef Bill.
BILL: I’m extremely loud and have a broad range of interests that will do nothing to help me in this competition. Watch me as I punch the camera with my tattooed knuckles that read FOOD.
TED: And finally, Chef Gooseberry.
GOOSEBERRY: I’m Gooseberry, I live in Los Angeles, and I love vegan food to the point where I won’t eat anything that ingests oxygen. I see so many people eating meat and it *starts crying* just makes me so sad, I have to win this to show them that there’s a better way.
Ted: Chefs, before you there is a basket of ingredients. You must use all of them, and your dishes will be critiqued by our panel of distinguished chefs on taste, presentation, and creativity. If you can’t, you will be chopped. Please open your baskets. You must construct an appetizer using shank of unicorn, human hair, ground glass, and puffed cheese snacks. You have twenty minutes.
ANGELA: I see the puffed cheese snacks and I immediately think, haggis. I run to the pantry and grab chickpeas and Sriracha, to give it a little kick.
GOOSEBERRY: Unicorn! Whyyyyyy is there meeeeeeat! (cries) Oh well, I’ll just have to suck it up and make it vegan as possible by pan-searing it and dousing it in chicken broth.
MADAGASCAR: I’m so stoked to see ground glass in the basket. My mom used to cook with this all the time. It has sort of a crunchy texture, so I’m gonna make pancakes.
(Shot of Bill looking alarmed and confused)
BILL: Guys…none of these are…food…uhh…
BILL: I just have this wad of human hair in my basket and I’m thinking, what the hell am I supposed to do with this? But I know unicorn has to be soaked to get the glitter off, otherwise it’ll be way too salty and start sprouting little flowers, so I get that soaking and hope the rest will come to me.
JUDGE ALEX: What a great basket! But I think it will be a real challenge for our chefs.
JUDGE SCOTT: There’s a lot you can do with puffed cheese snacks, but you’d have to be careful their saltiness doesn’t build on the natural saltiness of the unicorn shanks. I’m so curious to see what they plan to do with the human hair, which in this basket is a mix of Asian, African, and Caucasian strands.
ANGELA: Some of these hairs are Asian, so I use them to tie the ends of my haggis. I love showing off my specialty.
MADAGASCAR: Not many people would think to cook and eat a unicorn, but in Kazantzan, you take whatever comes your way. I take the glitter and I put it into a puree for a sauce with vinegar, making sure to chant the ancient evil incantation over it that will keep it from sprouting. But I’m running out of time, so I may have slurred some of the words together.
(Madagascar starts bleeding from the nose)
JUDGE ALEX: Ohhh, it looks like he’s reversed the S and the Q in “sesustngsnqsutintan.” That’s the kind of mistake that could cost him some time. You have to admire his ambition though.
BILL: I get the unicorn into the grill, but I haven’t even touched my hairball yet. I remember thinking of a prank my big brother played on me once, so I throw the ground glass into the blender with some ice, vodka, and limoncello.
TED: And there is one minute left remaining!
ANGELA: I haven’t even started plating yet, my haggis isn’t done swelling, but I’m thinking, just get it on the plate.
GOOSEBERRY: I have one minute. I’m gonna make a fresh green salad to represent my vegan lifestyle, and start making a vinaigrette.
MADAGASCAR: I look down at my dish, and I’m pretty proud of what I’ve done. Then I see that there’s nose blood on the plate. I need that ten thousand dollars.
BILL: I quickly added the hairball as a garnish.
It’s not gross, it’s gormet
GOOSEBERRY: ohhhh nooo I forgot the unicorn shanks, the glass, the hairball, and the Cheetos (TV EDIT, TOTALLY DIFFERENT VOICE) puffed cheese snacks. All I have is this red onion salad and white truffle dressing.
ANGELA: If I’d just had five more minutes, this would have been a killer cheese and hair haggis. *shrugs*
TED: Alright chefs, let’s see what you made. Chef Bill.
BILL: I’ve made for you today a cheese-snack encrusted grilled unicorn shank, with a lemon glass slushie.
JUDGE ALEX (sternly): I love this. You really handled the glitter beautifully, and the limoncello adds a lot of much-needed acidity to the salty flavors.
JUDGE SCOTT: I don’t like it. There’s hair on my plate and I hate you.
BILL: It…it was one of the ingredients…
TED: Chef Angela.
ANGELA: Before you today we have a cheese snack and ground unicorn haggis, tied with Asian hairs and garnished with a tarragon and glass crumble.
JUDGE ALEX (sternly): The combination is brilliant, the flavors really play off each other well. But mine is a little cold in the center, and you can see…I have sprouts.
ANGELA: It’s supposed to do that. I meant to do that.
TED: Chef Madagascar.
MADAGASCAR: Today I’ve made you a unicorn pancake with a glass crust, and a glitter dipping sauce.
JUDGE SCOTT: I’m not getting any of the human hair.
TED: Tell us why you need to win today.
MADAGASCAR: I need to get my mother a new kidney, as we had to sell her good one to pay for my father’s ransom. He’s okay now, but times have been hard with just one kidney to share between them.
JUDGE ALEX: There’s blood on my plate. I can’t eat this.
TED: Chef Gooseberry.
GOOSEBERRY: I’ve made a vegan-friendly dish, with the unicorn, cheese snacks, and the hair omitted. The glass did not make it onto the plate.
JUDGE SCOTT: This is just red onions and white truffle oil.
GOOSEBERRY: That is correct.
(TV EDIT, SCENE RECONVENES TEN MINUTES LATER)
GOOSEBERRY (with a black eye, sniffling): Thank you chef.
TED: Now whose dish has been put on the chopping block?
(DRAMATIC MUSIC AS WE LOOK AT EVERYONE’S SAD FACE)
TED (revealing Gooseberry’s dish): Chef Gooseberry, you’ve been chopped.
GOOSEBERRY: I was pretty disappointed to get chopped, but I stand by my work, and I’m proud nobody had to eat meat made by my hand. (leaves down the hallway)
TED: Next up, the entree round. WHO (flash to Madagascar) WILL (flash to Angela) BE (flash to Bill) CHOPPED???!!??
“If I could tell a 15‑year‑old self something, it’d be to try not to care about your appearance. Besides that, I think to always hold on to that sense of childhood wonder, that excitement. I always try to make sure I remember to put that back into my work, to remember that from doing it because I love it, and it’s not just a job, and doing it for play. As an artist, I think it’s incredibly important to hold on to the fearlessness that you have as a child. It helps you take risks in your art.”
In honor of International Women’s Day this week, we are posting quotes from our latest Creative New York interview with Petra Collins, highlighting important issues relating to body image, openness and collaboration, and health care access as an artist. Read the entire interview at nyc.moma.org.
Marina is Autistic and Pearl is ADHD and They Are Neurodivergent Girlfriends Who Love Each Other Very Much
You can pry this headcanon from my Cold Dead Hands because I won’t be giving it up until consciousness is no longer an option
(But I’m happy to share it! c: )
Pearl helping Marina when she’s overstimmed in public by letting her turn white noise in her headphones all the way up, and Pearl makes sure to lead them to a nicer quieter space and makes sure they don’t run into people and stuff and then sitting quietly with Marina (hugging and/or hand holding if it helps) while Marina finds a better mindspace
Marina and Pearl sharing stim toys,,,
Marina helping Pearl by making sure she stays on track when Pearl is especially forgetful
Pearl helping Marina by taking the lead in interactions, and speaking more when Marina needs to take a step back, but also making sure to include Marina with low-energy ‘ins’ to stay involved in the conversation
Marina & Pearl sharing their special interests & hyperfixations with each other
I can’t wait to give Matt his “man bouquet” filled with nips bottles, felt roses that I made (flowers that won’t die are so much better), and Lindt chocolate bars. I thought the chocolate covered strawberries were a nice touch as well, and they were so fun to make!
I hope you all are feeling the love today. You don’t need a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband to enjoy the day. Go tell someone close to you that you love them.
The darkest joke in Roald Dahl’s “Lamb to the Slaughter” might not even be the infamous ending. It’s that her husband was a renowned, respected cop and detective...but he never spotted, or suspected, that he was married to a homicidal unstable mad woman.
Bro, in both the story and movie, the second you told her you were leaving, I knew instantly you were a dead man. (She’s just a bit too perky, clingy and desperate to be the ‘50s perfect housewife, you know?)
The viewer/reader gets it right away.
So, um, why didn’t you spot it? In all those years of marriage?
Hi, love your blog! What does it mean if I have a 1st,4th,6th and 10th house stellium? Thank uu xx💕
a stellium is generally considered to be a blockage of energy, and the concentrated area of the chart. its usually considered to be negative as so much emphasis on one area can bring some problems, as if all signs and planets were in their respective rulers, there would only be one / two at most planets per house (with some empty). a stellium is (in my opinion) when four planets (including major asteroids) fit into one house
I house stellium - very youthful energy, extremely excitable, dangerously impulsive, the ego and establishing an identity are extremely important/present (possibly creating a very arrogant character). prone to headaches, needs to take care of their head (figuratively and literally) II house stellium - very graceful and stubborn energy, an inherent need for comfort, obsession with possessions, extremely sensual, establishing a comfortable space with sound morals are extremely important/present. prone to medical problems with the throat III house stellium - very nervous energy, mind runs a million miles a minute, clever to the point of not being able to physically contain information, scattered, a genius, the mind, intellect and speech are extremely important/present. needs to take care of lungs and nervous system. IV house stellium - very emotional energy, heart is an explosion of everything, hormonal chaos, family is extremely important to them, susceptible to every emotion, a water chameleon, establishing a home is extremely important/present. needs to take care of hormone fluctuation, the chest & breasts V house stellium - very proud and arrogant energy, lives and breathes through the heart, follows the heart, extremely dramatic and does everything to perform, needs constant validation, performing/creativity are extremely important/present. prone to heart problems VI house stellium - very scattered and critical energy, routine is the absolute be all and end all, can not survive without everything being “just right”, has unattainable/unhuman standards, perfectionist syndrome, healing/understanding are extremely important/present. needs to take care of the intestines VII house stellium - very charming and dependant energy, relies on other people to survive, lots of imbalances, very indecisive, chaotic mind, does what is right for everyone, balance/harmony/pleasure is very important/present. needs to take care of the stomach/abdomen VIII house stellium - very sexual and mysterious energy, is very in tune with the occult, very passive aggressive/blunt, extremely and powerfully emotional, pain is seen as a necessary path to take, the occult/sensual & intimate matters are extremely important/present. needs to take care of the genitals IX house stellium - very abundant and fiery energy, prone to excessive over indulgence, travel is their life, longs to be somewhere else, finds it hard to create/establish a home, extremely impulsive, religion/spiritual experience is extremely important/present, needs to take care of the thighs X house stellium - very serious and work-orientated energy, work is life, workaholic, obsessed with public image (how they look and seem to everyone else), leaves a credible legacy, doesn’t want to die without ‘putting in the hard work’, career/social status is very important/present here, needs to take care of the knees/ligaments XI house stellium - very alien and eccentric energy, lives to be an outstanding individual, god complex, wants to create change in the world, obsessed with anything out of the ordinary, friendships/technology/invention is extremely important/prominent, needs to take care of the shins XII house stellium - very whimsical and dreamy energy, lives in a dream, finds it hard to establish a connection to the world around them, extremely idealistic/unrealistic, psychic connection to art/dreams, spirituality/dreams are very important/prominent, needs to take care of the feet
The mind is a powerful tool. How we think directly impacts how we feel. When we get swept away by excuses, regrets, desires, and expectations, we feel heavy and defensive, and see the world through a lens of struggle. The good news? Perspective is a choice. The narratives we carry only exist in our minds, and we are free to release them when they no longer serve us.
The present moment holds no baggage. Behind the clutter of mental chatter is the clarity and simplicity of now.
Take a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
I'm sad you finished the Bokuroo week, you draw them so rarely now and I just miss my boys so much
anon please don’t try to guilt trip me into drawing more bokuro that’s kinda very rude I realize no one really reads tags so I’m gonna just say it here again - as I mentioned before, this period is really damn busy for me because for whatever reason all my fandoms and ships have decided to hold their ship weeks all together in the span of 20 days and I’m a sucker for this kind of events which means I wanna participate in everything and end up being unable to put actual effort in everything else for a while
THAT SAID how productive I am with a specific ship depends a lot on how much they’re appearing in the main story (currently in the bokuros’ case it’s a very pretty round zero), how responsive/respectful the fandom is when I do post about them (the bokuro fandom is amazing!!! Everyone around it that still keeps on trying to make it about other ships and turn my art into something it’s not supposed to be, not so much) and how much content for said ship I can consume through the fandom/how easily accessible it is (there’s very little content for bokuro in general and try and look for stuff in the tags it’s all about other ships/ot3s or ot4s/unrequited or past-relationship/tagged-but-only-as-brotp)
I really, really, really love that ship a whole damn lot still, trust me, but when I have so little inspiration coming from anything that could give it to me and at the same time I got other ships making me super creative, I’m naturally bound to produce less for it. I’m not abandoning it, I’m just asking you to be patient when my creativity doesn’t happen to be focused on them for a while