creative 365

I am tired –
tired of pouring cup after cup
of caffeine down my throat,
swallowing productivity
one scorching mouthful at a time.

Forfeiting sleep for success,
I want to scream,
but my throat already burns
and I don’t think screaming
will earn me extra cords
at graduation.
—  “Education” (19/365)
People are people and things change yeah I’ve read that a million times but I never thought you would be one of them. I didn’t dream up a scenario where I lose you. I wasn’t holding my breath waiting for you to walk away but you did anyway and it hurts like hell. Losing you hurts like hell.
—  (208/365) by (KJ)
I sat waiting, praying for the time to go back instead of forward.
I looked at my wrists and remembered just how feeble I felt inside.
I just wanted to leave behind all the stains you left on me.
So I walked hoping to get as far away from this town as possible.
I ran and with each step I tried to pretend I was leaving everything behind, as if in a few steps I’d be in a new world with a new life.
The air burnt my lungs and I sat on the cold hard ground, imagining that this is how my heart must feel.
I cried, not one of those sobs where your entire body shakes and your head hurts and your chest feels like its caving in.
It was a soft silent cry and I knew in that moment that the old me was dead and gone
Lost somewhere in the wind and now here I was dead, empty and cold.
—  (193/365) by (KJ)
Day Six Hundred Eighty Seven.

i’ve started to dive head first into novels
plunging into fictions and romances 
as if they were my own

i’ve been yearning for foreign lands 
soaking in colourful pictures of faraway places
dreaming of the day i get to walk among them

i’ve been drinking conversations 
over cups of coffee
listening from the table far away
catching glimpses of unknown lives
that feel familiar all the same

i’ve indulged in yoga
practicing the art of zen
stretching limbs like tree branches
gently swaying

i’ve been searching for myself in pockets of the world
that i never would have thought to look
finding little bits and pieces scattered 
amongst a favourite tune, the scent of summer, the comforting warmth
of the setting sun 

i’ve spent a little bit of extra time 
falling in love with myself for a change
and i couldn’t be happier