How many times have I said that “I am moving on”, “I have moved on already”, “I actually don’t care about him anymore” and so on?
Of course they’re all lies. It’s just a way for me to convince myself that I am perfectly fine. Which is… I'm not. It’s WAAAY obvious, I know. Still, I want to give myself a little dignity, at least. I cried myself in pain, let myself think, know the faults, the chances we’ve wasted, the ‘should have’ and 'should have not’ done.. the regrets, the pain, broken promises.
I kept doing that for almost 5 months. The funny thing is.. we’re not even an item to be called 'lovers’. In short, there’s no us.We love each other but aren’t committed to each other yet. MU (Mutual Understanding), rather. The thing is, we loved each other. Promised things. Gave hopes.. It just hurts to think that yesterday it was perfectly fine but in such glimpse, everything faded. We lost it. And it’s so hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.
Now, I’m moving on.. This time, it’s real. For good.
I’ve tried many times. It’s just that.. I still can’t let go. At least, I’m getting fonder and fonder of his presence anytime he passes by. That’s a good sign, right?
As of now, I am determined to forget. To move on. I can’t just waste my time and all to someone who doesn’t love me anymore. Who doesn’t care. Seriously, I have to move on. We have to move on. My world doesn’t revolve around him.
Wow, while I’m typing, I can’t help but sigh in great relief. Finally! I’m.. really moving on. This is it. But still, I thank him for everything. He made me happy and let me feel his love even just for a while. I was really glad to have him. That won’t change. Now, I’m moving on and letting go.
to all the folks who are not acquainted with busking…this is busking. and this is what i’ll be doing with the crew for the afternoon (except we’ll be on a boat). Next potential Harry & Alfie single: “Busking on a Boat.”