What UP? I’m back from Europe and shit is just CRAZZZY between unpacking, organizing my souvenirs, doing my laundry, playing the Kim K game, and listening to Anaconda and the Flawless remix….
Sigh. I am always so busy, you know. And then I got a guest recap submission and I was like, “Oh yeah gotta keep churning out those recaps”.
It’s presumably 30 something years into the future because Muffy Crosswire is being sworn in as the president of the United States. I say 30 something because there’s a law that says US presidential candidates must be at least 35 years old. If you are wondering what party Muffy is affiliated with, let me quote from her acceptance speech: “Ask not what I can do for you, but what you can do for me.”
So that she’s a Republican is probably a safe bet.
I find it funny that many Lakewood alumni are now in the US government. The unnknown rabbit, Alex, is standing behind Muffy as she is sworn in (he’s the one in the yellow shirt and the green coat) and Brain is the one swearing her in, which implies that he must be a Chief Justice on the Supreme Court and Binky is in the Secret Service as well.
As Muffy makes her speech, our HBIC Arthur is the audience! I assume Arthur too busy running Elwood City like a club and launching a highly successful children’s book series/TV show about his childhood to enter politics. Arthur tries to holla at her but Muffy yells, “SECURITY!” and has him escorted.
Arthur is confused as to why she is pretending not to remember him and tries to jog her memory by bringing up the 3rd grade class election. Unfortunately, this is Muffy’s beserk button and she screeches, “DON’T EVER BRING THAT UP TO ME!”
Arthur is hauled off and remarks, “She takes things way too seriously”. Arthur can afford to be chill about being arrested because one of his childhood buddies is a Chief Justice on the Supreme Court.
But what happened at the 3rd grade election? Let’s find out!
Ratburn announces that as they conclude their unit on government, the class will hold a mock election. The kids talk about it on the playground and Francine is the first to express interest in running. Everyone hurriedly tries to talk her out it, fearing her tyranny of bitchery. Muffy suggests that Francine be a campaign manager instead.
Buster suggests that Arthur run since he’s so popular and Muffy tries to laugh at him. However, we get the last laugh because when Muffy announces her candidacy, no one says a peep but when Buster nominates Arthur, everyone cheers him on. Arthur is initially hesitant but agrees.
Muffy throws him a dirty look when he accepts. Uh-oh…
At lunch time, both camps have strategy meetings. The boys are mostly chill about the election–Buster says Arthur just needs a few jokes to win over the crowd and Binky suggests Arthur riff on Lincoln’s “four score and seven years ago” speech for laughs. Meanwhile, Muffy is getting into gear like she’s Hillary Clinton and demanding catchy slogans, appointments with her salon for a presidential ‘do, and pinpointing hot button issues.
In class, the kids learn that like the presidents before them, they have to identify the important issues they stand for.
After school, Arthur tries to invite Francine to the Sugar Bowl but Muffy drags her away and admonishes her for talking to “the enemy”. Arthur and Buster and me think Muffy needs to chillax.
At Casa de Read, Buster is reading dumb jokes for Arthur to use when D.W. comes by. She wants to know what Arthur’s stances on school issues are and suggests he get cool campaign colors. Arthur tries to dismiss her and claims the election isn’t a big deal but the next day, Buster and Arthur find that Muffy has printed color posters and buttons.
So they go to work and make their own posters for Arthur and hang them up the next day, but Muffy mocks them as she hands out her muffins and tries to ignite fear mongering about Arthur. Arthur tries to tell her to play fair but Muffy laughs. “You think politics are fair?” she sneers.
Arthur can’t even report her bitchery because Muffy gives a muffin to Ratburn and we all know that man thinks with his stomach.
The candidates have their debate, moderated by the Brain. Arthur has good ideas to help the school (clean the school grounds, buy more library books, etc) while Muffy is concerned with getting better lighting in the girl’s bathrooms and putting in amusement park rides in the playground. Arthur thinks the whole school should pitch in to make his ideas happen while Muffy hand waves any money concerns because her dad can pay for everything.
Ratburn congratulates them for the exciting debate which causes Binky to pretend to snore. He offers actual fun ideas like snacks in class, no homework, and getting to be absent once a week with no questions asked. The whole class cheers and Ratburn decides to integrate a write in candidate to the election.
Muffy protests since she put in so much money and time on her campaign and it’s not fair that Binky gets to waltz in at the last minute. However, Ratburn points out that in a true democracy, anyone can run. Arthur has no problem with it, which makes Muffy furious.
“If you had any backbone, you’d agree with me,” she fumes at him.
Voting occurs after lunch (or at least, I assume so) and Binky is the winner!
Muffy is upset, as to be expected, but Arthur shrugs off the loss and can see why Binky won. His ideas were certainly attractive but unfortunately for Binky, this was a mock election and none of his policies will be implemented, not even the snacks in class rule.
Muffy tells Arthur she will never forget that it was his fault that Binky won the election.
Grade: B+ (Seeing Muffy drive herself into a frenzy is where the character really gets her most comedic although bitchiest moments. I don’t know if this episode was meant as an homage to the book/film Election but I saw some parallels. Muffy is an expy for Tracy Flick, Arthur is the popular and kind Paul Metzler, and Binky could be Tammy Metzler as neither was particularly concerned with winning and just wanted to shake things up.
Also, I wanted to point out that if this was a real election, Muffy would have probably been the winner. Brain said earlier in the episode that campaigns can cost up to millions of dollars and Muffy would have the advantage and would have crushed her opponents with fear mongering ads and bought up every single vote that she could. Write in candidates don’t win and Binky probably would have enjoyed a brief surge of popularity and had memes created from his soundbites but then faded to obscurity (Remember “the rent is too damn high”? Remember who said it? Exactly). Arthur might have a chance of winning if there was enough backlash against Muffy and let’s face it, she is a blatantly selfish person so there might be a big one. But even if Muffy didn’t manage to steamroll him, there is no doubt she would spend his presidency trying to undermine him.)
Perfect confluence of me traveling for USA Independence day spur of the moment and some CRAZZZY random stuff led to a brief accidental hiatus of our usual imagines and writing! BUT EVERYTHING IS A-OKAY AND I’M BACK!
PHEW Glad thats over! Now back to your usual scheduled content!
“What’s on the horizon?” you may ask. WELL LET ME TELL YOU!
First will be an update to Fangs and First Impressions (Benny x Reader) followed by an update to our Sammy Series “Mess Is Mine” later this week.
Who is excited?!?!
I’M EXCITED! (and hopefully you are too!)
If you’re behind on your reading, HOMEWORK TIME! Catch up with the links below! :D
Fangs and First Impressions: (Benny the Vampirate x Reader) Part 1 Part 2
Okay right, so Sheldon Coopers mother was the mother of a crazy psychopath, (NOT SHELDON.) And tried to kill Neve Campbell, it was not the camera man which was sad, but would have been pretty cool, I did not suspect her at all, but I did slightly suspect Mickey, why, but why does she befriend crazy people?
Oooh I also just found out that if you put a question mark at the end of the post you can let people answer this!!! Ahhhh who knew???