Gonna Be Okay
Summary: Ian goes manic and has a panic attack, and Mickey helps him out with a proposal.
Word Count: 1955
Notes: For the person who requested this, I hope this is what you meant. I was trying to make it romantic but not cringey with panic attack— hope it worked! :)
Over the past few days, Ian was acting overly energetic, and abnormally horny. Luckily, this time he stayed away from any other guys or porn stars; though this meant that he and Mickey would fuck like twelve times a day. Another factor was that the redhead must’ve gotten three hours of sleep over a four day span due to the fact that he was jumping off the walls. It was extremely erratic behavior, which sent alerts to everyone that Ian needed a med change.
Everyone who knew the redheaded Gallagher boy well enough were worried sick about him. Mickey had been following him everywhere he decided to go, and Fiona was trying to set up another doctor’s appointment, but apparently there was a few days wait. In the meantime, everyone worriedly kept an eye on him, but there was only so much that they could do.
One day it was a bit different though. Ian stopped jittering and telling crazy stories, instead he said, “I should take a nap,” then laid down on the couch.
Mickey was fiddling with the small box in his pocket, but when Ian spoke he raised his eyebrows in suspicion and turned to face his boyfriend. “Are you serious?” He could imagine that Ian was tired, but he couldn’t imagine that he’d even realize it in his current manic state.
“Mhm. Tired,” Ian mumbled and began to close his eyes. It was the first time in a few days that Mickey heard real exhaustion in his voice.
Mickey slowly made his way over to the surprisingly sleepy redhead. “Okay,” he nodded. “You know I have work? I gotta go soon,” he spoke softly. Then he squatted down and ran his fingers through Ian’s hair. He couldn’t believe how beautiful this boy was in all his forms.
Ian smiled softly. “I know. Go. I love you, see ya later,” he titled his head upward so Mickey could kiss him, which he did.
“Um, o-okay,” Mickey spoke in a leery manner. He wanted to believe that Ian was passing through this, but he was fully aware of how unlikely that was. “I love you too. Sleep tight.” He tucked him under the blanket, and watched Ian as he walked into the kitchen.
When Mickey got to the kitchen, he found Lip and Fiona standing near the counter with beers in their hands. When they saw his disheveled look, they each looked at him with a questionative expression. “What’s up?” Lip cocked his eyebrow.
“He-he, um, said that he’s gonna take a nap. One of you watch over him while I’m at work, please?” Mickey rarely asked for anything, so they knew when he was serious. “I don’t want anything to happen to him.”
A hopeful look plastered across Fiona’s face. “Wait. I mean, that could be good, right? Maybe he’s getting over this.”
“Fi,” Lip said sorrowfully. “I’m sorry to say it, but has it ever turned out that way with Monica?” He averted his eyes from his sister to the beer in front of him. It hurt him to relate his mother with brother because they aren’t the same people— they never could be.
Fiona let out a choking sound. “I know.”
Mickey frowned and put his coat on. “You’ll fucking watch over him, right?” He asked the two eldest siblings before leaving the house. “And call me if he needs me?”
“Yes, of course,” Fiona nodded and waved him goodbye. Mickey stormed out with worry; he truthfully hated leaving Ian more than anything. Fiona watched after him while Lip stared at the sleeping boy through the doorway of the living room.
* * *
While Mickey was at work he felt his phone start to vibrate through his pants. Out of instinct, he quickly scavenged through his pockets to get his phone out. He rumbled through the box and his wallet before finding what he needed. When he finally reached his cellphone he realized that was Debbie who was calling. Before he had the chance to answer, the call ended. “Fuck,” he said to himself as he redialed Debbie’s phone number. “C’mon,” he said into the cell phone.
“Mickey,” Debbie responded franticly. The Milkovich boy let out a sigh of relief, just for the fact that he heard her voice.
“What’s going on, Debs?” His voice was full of worry like it has been for the past few days.
“Ian. It’s Ian. He’s bugging out. He’s screaming that people are coming after us, and he’s going nuts. You need to come home. Hurry, Mickey,” she pleaded.
Within a millisecond, Mickey rushed out the door. He wasn’t mindful enough to tell Kev why he was leaving. Never in his whole life had Mickey ran so fast. He sprinted so fast that he couldn’t feel his legs, but he heard his heart beating in his ears. The worst possible case scenarios were shuffling through his mind, which made him as a run faster. He needed to get home.
When he arrived to the house, he heard the sound of glass shattering. Bolting his way in the house, he saw Ian knocking over lamps— it looked like it was in a defensive way. There were tears flowing out of his eyes. “No! They won’t take you! I won’t let them take the people I love,” he cried out. No one knew what the hell he was talking about, but they were all scared.
Suddenly, Ian dropped down to the floor. He wrapped his arms around his legs, shoved his face between his legs, and started sobbing. The redhead was shaking, and it looked uncontrollable. The next thing to happen to Ian was that he started hyperventilating, which was enough Mickey to go off the deep end.
The Milkovich boy ran to overly distressed boy, and pried his fingers from his face. “Hey, hey,” he said with love and worry. “Please, look at me. You need to look at me.” Ian’s eyes squinted open, and there were tears crowding them.
“Th-they wanna take you away,” Ian cried.
“No one’s trying to take us away, okay? Listen to me, no one’s trying to do that,” he grabbed Ian’s face and wiped away the tears as they poured down. He watched as Ian looked around the room, but frowned as he started to shake and sob harder. “Ian,” he said sadly and wrapped his arms around the boy. He ran his hand over his boyfriend’s hair. “Talk to me.”
“I-I–” Ian tried to speak, but nothing came out. His hyperventilated worsened.
“Okay, okay,” he went back to holding Ian’s face with his own hands. “Breathe. You gotta fucking breathe with me.” He took a deep breath as a representation. “You see what I just did? I want you to do the same.” He kept taking these deep breaths until Ian could catch on, and once he did they started breathing together.
After a while, Ian started to calm down a little. “I’m crazy,” he pushed his head into the crook of Mickey’s neck. “I’m a psychopath,” he said shakily.
“Shhh,” Mickey hushed him as he soothingly rubbed his back. “No, I love you. You’re not crazy. I love you.” He kissed his cheek and rested his forehead on Ian’s.
Another sob came from Mickey’s throat. “I’m so sorry.”
Mickey shook his head. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” He kissed him on the side of the head once again.
For a while, they sat on the ground. Each boy ignored the faint sound of cries from the rest of the Gallaghers, but they stayed wrapped in each other’s arms. Ian’s eyes were shut so tightly that one would think he’s trying to block the world from his sight. While Ian was doing that, Mickey was holding back tears of his own.
Eventually Ian whispered to Mickey, “I wanna go to sleep. Can we?” Mickey nodded and helped Ian up. They walked up the stairs hand in hand, leaving the rest of the Gallaghers without anything to say to them.
“What was that?” Carl said nervously. He hated seeing his brother struggle with this disorder.
Fiona frowned. “It was a panic attack, bud,” she frowned as she placed a hand on Carl’s shoulder.
“At first though, when he was talking about people trying to take us, he was paranoid. It turned into a panic attack though,” Lip added.
Carl made a sad face along with his sister Debbie. “Can we help him?”
“We’ll get him some new meds. He’ll be okay,” Fiona said in a upset but nonetheless optimistic tone. “We’ve got him. Mickey’s got him. Until he can get to the doctor, we’ll keep watching over him like we always do.”
Fiona and Lip noticed the younger kids sad expressions. Liam didn’t really know what was going on, but even he was frowning. Lip made his way to his youngest siblings, and took Liam in his arms before kissing each of their heads. “It’ll be alright.”
* * *
Mickey tucked Ian in on his side of the bed and pressed a faint kiss on his forehead. He placed a hand on his boyfriend’s cheek for a moment. Suddenly Ian grabbed at his wrist. “You deserve more than me,” he frowned.
“Someone who you could have a fucking stable relationship with.” More tears welled in Mickey’s eyes.
Mickey snorted. “This is the most fucking stable I’ve ever been, you dumbass. I love you, Ian.”
“Do you though? Could you love someone so crazy?” Ian mouth curved downwards. Mickey fought past the idea of shouting at Ian because he knew that this was the mania speaking.
Suddenly a realization hit him— there’s a box in his pocket that really claims the love his has for him. Taking a deep breath, he pulled the velvet box out of his pocket and got down on one knee, causing Ian to jump up from under the covers. The redhead could not believe what he was seeing. “Mick—”
“Fuck you if you ever think I don’t love you. Ian, you are the one and only good thing in my life. You’re the reason I am who I am— a better person than I ever thought I could be. And I could care-fucking-less about how crazy you are because it makes you, you. I need you. No matter how hard it gets, you’re my fucking rock, and I fucking love you. Now to fucking set this in stone, would you marry me?” He opened the box to show a beautiful golden ring that had the words ‘makes me free’ engraved on the inside— it was reminiscent of the day Mickey came out.
Ian allowed the tears to stream from his eyes because this time he was crying tears of joy. After all he’s put Mickey through, he still loves him. “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you. I love you, I love you so much.” He allowed Mickey to slide the ring onto his left hand.
Mickey then got onto the bed and pulled Ian into a passionate kiss— a kiss that showed more than words or a ring could ever show. The two then proceeded to go underneath the covers together.
Ian wrapped an arm around Mickey’s waist and put his head under Mickey’s chin. Mickey had one hand on Ian’s head and the other wrapped around his back. Their legs were twined together as well. Ian had to curl up to be in this position due to his tall height, but it was still comfortable for them. They held onto each other like they were each other’s lifelines, and in that moment, that’s exactly what they were. The boys fell asleep like that— tangled inside of their own world, completely isolated from everything and everyone around them.