crazy clerk

Headcanons - Gorillaz at the mall

○ When using public restrooms, Russel is the kind of person who doesn’t want to touch anything and tries to use everything from soap dispensers to hand dryers with the back of his hands.

○ Noodle and 2D go shopping for videogames and makeup together.

○ 2D tries on lipsticks just for fun. Directly from the tester.
Sometimes he’ll even paint his nails and just walk out the store without buying anything.

○ 2D usually asks a lot of questions about products only to get distracted in the middle of the explanation and just walk away.

○ If there’s a shopping cart involved, Noodle’s sitting in it.
“Russel: Noodle please I don’t know where to put groceries-
Noodle: not my problem I’m the caRT QUEEN”

○ Noodle and Murdoc like to stand next to mannequins in store windows to see how long it takes before someone notices.

○ 2D will start any toy that has the “try me!” sign, raising hell in the toys aisle.

○ Murdoc pulls faces at the security camera.

○ Russel spends hours putting back stuff that was picked up and then abandoned on random shelves because he thinks it’s crazy disrespectful towards clerks.

○ “Ugh, do they have to put that Frozen shit on everything? Even milk bottles now?”
“You can get a regular one without any Disney princess on it, Murdoc.”
“No I want the Frozen one.”

○ Russel. Noodle. Kiddie rides.
Old grandpa Murdoc sits nearby pretending he doesn’t know them.

○ “I was wondering: if I were to grow a beard like yours would it turn out blue or-”
“Sir please, Santa’s here just for the kids, I’m going to have to ask you to get off his lap and leave”

(Edit: if you have suggestions for other scenarios do tell me!)