crayon up the nose

2

Keith isn’t very happy about his Veela heritage, especially that changing into literal harpy part.

That one time he used his charm hoping it will affect Shiro was because he’s well aware how his step brother perceives him. After all, Shiro knew him for a long time and it’s kind of hard to view someone he used to stop from sticking crayons up his nose as potential love interest. But Keith still hopes that at some point he’ll realise that this kid is long gone, replaced by hot and mature boyfriend material

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Eruri of the Month: Daddy

@eruri-of-the-month


“Daddy!”

Of course it was their youngest, Eren, again.

“What is it this time?” Levi asked, closing his book for the fiftieth time.

“Mikasa hitted me!”

“Oh? What did you do to her first, Eren?”

Eren glared at a spot on the carpet.

“Did you pull her hair?” Levi ventured.

“Maybe.”

“Will you do it again?”

Eren shrugged. “If I do it more Mikasa said she’d put more crayons up my nose.”

More crayons? MIKASA!” Levi yelled.

“I’m here,” Mikasa muttered from her spot next to him on the couch. After all these years, his eldest continued to mystify and spook him with her quietness.

“Mikasa, if I find any crayons missing—ever—I’m blaming you first, understand?”

Mikasa nodded, looking especially sulky as she pulled her safety scarf over her mouth.

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anonymous asked:

you know there's a reviewer out there who compared Persona 5 to mass effect andromeda in the character department.

I bet there’s also a reviewer who has mental problems from shoving crayons up their nose

  • *Randy takes out a big book*
  • Randy: This is my philosophy. A hardbound collection of all the life lessons I've learned, such as....*opens the book* always look people in the eye, even if they're blind, just say "I am looking you in the eye". If you get pulled over for speeding, just tell the police man your spouse has diarrhea. You only get one chance after a first impression. I suggest Julia Child, because it's easy to do "Save the Giblets" .The most amazing things that can happen to a human being can happen to you, if you just lower your expectations. Dance, until your feet hurt, sing until your lungs hurt, act until you're William Hurt.
  • MC: Take a lesson from parakeets. If you're ever feeling lonely, just eat in front of a mirror. Never be afraid to reach for the stars, because even if you fall, you'll always be wearing a parentchute.
  • Luca: Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed.
  • Klaus: Older black ladies make the best iced tea.
  • Elias: Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.
  • Amelia: You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.
  • Yukiya: Watch a sunrise at least once a day.
  • Azusa: If you love something set it free, unless is a tiger.
  • MC: If you're ever in a jam, a crayon scrunched up under your nose makes a good pretend mustache.
  • Randy: And when life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like: Whaaaat?

semi-impressive  asked:

Heya! I just wanted to say I love your art. Your character designs are so amazing, you really have a great eye for color. Could I maybe trouble you for some tips on outfit design? I struggle with that haha. If not, no worries! Have a great day! :)

tysm friend!!!

and outfit design can vary a lot depending on what the design is for (ex: an animated character vs a one-time detailed illustration). i’m going to focus on design for animated or sequential art oriented design since that’s what i usually aim for when i’m not just mashing crayons up my nose and slapping my face against the cintiq. 

my advice is to focus on simple design that emphasizes how a character’s personality is portrayed through their actions. i’m going to use treasure planet’s character design as an example because that movie is an inspirational goldmine for this sort of thing.

dr doppler has a pretty droopy, baggy outfit that tapers towards the neck and the cuffs, where it cuts off just shy of his wrists. if you’re familiar with sergio pablos’ work, he tends to emote a LOT through hands, so it’s important that his hands and face are the main focus of the design. the rest of his design blends together into one big droopy rectangle, but there’s a clear contrast between his torso and his hands / head and even more contrast in the hands and face themselves (round fingertips on blocky hands, pockets of negative space to separate his face from his hairline and wrinkles, etc)

captain amelia, on the other hand, is contrast from tip to toe. contrast implies movement; amelia does a lot of fighting and running and jumping and flipping, and her design compliments that action. the design itself also has a lot of lines of action embedded in it which helps emphasize movement and prevents her design from feeling cluttered. my life drawing teacher called it “opposite c’s”, where you can see a line of action wiggling left and right down her body. her eyes follow her hairline, which follows her cheeks, which follows her jaw, etc.

so, two big things to focus on:

compliment your character

draw your character in poses that convey their personality. what parts of their body do you need to emphasize to amplify their personality? understand what sort of silhouette you’re aiming for before breaking out your fashion inspo folder

simplify your character

draw them really really tiny, or in pixel art, or just using blobs of color. break your character down into their most basic elements to get a better understanding of what makes them identifiable. 

i’m sorry for going on long, i hope some of this helps! \o/

Bareback Mountain [Excerpt]

This is Stiles’ dreamscene in my long fic Bareback Mountain, which if everything goes to plan I’ll have done by the new year! I’m at 20k words right now and I’m not even halfway done! I did want to give you guys something to savor until then. Other excerpts can be found on my blog under the “sterek fics” tab. 

Backstory to Bareback Mountain: Derek leaves with Cora after the Alpha Pack, unable to handle the stress of Beacon Hills anymore. Stiles takes a gap year from college to get away. Somehow both Stiles and Derek find each other in a tiny town in Colorado where Derek is building a house. They heal together.

Warning: mild gore, nightmare


…“Promise to be gentle with her?”

Stiles looked up to his father, nodding with his chest puffed out, “I promise Dad! I’ll be like super gentle, like always.”

His dad’s hand reached out and ruffled his floppy hair with an “I know you will kiddo” before turning to open the hospital door. Stiles followed his father into the white room, the smell of icky chemicals hitting his nose, and the sound of the heart machine going ‘beep-beep-beep’. By now Stiles was used to it and knew that this wasn’t about him, this was about Mom and their time together. Passing the curtain she sat on the bed, her legs crossed and covered with brightly colored mismatched socks.

Those were her favorite.

“Hi Mama!” Stiles smiled, his tongue poking out from where his two front teeth were missing. 

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mykidsatemykpopfeels  asked:

Jinki swore to himself this was the last time...

he was going to let Taemin shove a crayon up Minho’s nose. The babysitter sighs heavily as he comforted the crying toddler clinging around his neck, and Jinki looks over to where Taemin is facing a corner in time-out. He can actually hear the little boy giggling to himself from the other side of the room, not sorry at all for bullying the older boy. This was the third time this week that Taemin shoved a crayon up Minho’s nose. Third.

Obviously that child was the spawn of satan.

There are only two hours left until the parents come to pick their kids up and Jinki still has four of them in his care; it’s the usual four, evil little shit Taemin who caused nothing but trouble, his favorite angel Minho who could do no wrong, Kibum who’d rather reenact strangely inappropriate movies scenes with his impeccably dressed Barbies, and lastly Jonghyun, who always doodled ugly little monsters onto any surface he could get his grubby little hands on and looking up at Jinki with tearful puppy dog eyes when he gets scolded.

“Minnie,” Jinki coos, rubbing Minho’s back comfortingly. “You have to tell Taemin not to put crayons in your nose, otherwise he’ll keep doing it.”

“But he’s so scary!” Minho hiccups, still bawling loudly into Jinki’s ear.

“He’s only four, sweetie,” Jinki reminds him, rocking back and fourth. “He’s so little!” And evil, he doesn’t add. Minho calms down a somewhat, but he’s still sobbing, so that means the only thing left to do is try to reconcile the two for the millionth time. Jinki sighs once more, getting up and walking over to Taemin with Minho still dripping snot onto his shoulder. He tries to reason with the satan spawn, smiling placatingly but also a little sternly. “Taeminnie, you won’t put crayons in Minho’s nose again, right?”

Taemin turns around from where he’s facing the corner, face full of glee and hands on his hips. “I’m gonna do it again!” he shrieks, giggling. “Again, again! It’s funny when hyung cries, really, really funny!”

Minho screams in utter fear and probably ruptures Jinki’s eardrum in the process, returning to his previously hysterical crying while Taemin cackles like the tiny demon he is.

Jinki just might start crying, too.

the game.

9

oh god never let me draw anything

“MacCready Wants His Hat Back” by nukalurk-queen and a full serving of a regret. Based on that ancient meme where you redraw this children’s book with fandom characters that I’m sad died out before Fallout 4.

FEATURING:

Nick “Too Long Arms” Valentine

“Had So Much Potential” Curie

Deacon the Punk Leprechaun

Unimpressed-on Garvey

John “this drawing fills me with actual shame” Hancock

STRONG

“Oh god, there’s not enough room on the page for this” Sole Survivor

and

The Incredible Shrinking MacCready

I (obviously) have the drawing ability of a first grader that still sticks crayons up their nose, but this was just for funsies. My friend forced heavily encouraged me to post it.

Hopefully some of you real artists or anyone with taste really out there can have a good laugh at my expense.

First Date

               “My boob itches,” Sasha said as she scratched at her chest.

               “Ah, nipple itchies are the worst!”

               “I know!”

               “Sasha, I just want you to know,” Connie said severely, “that I would gladly scratch your nipples for you would the need arise. Or is that too weird for a first date?”

               “Definitely second date material, but I’ll let this one slide,” Sasha said, trying not to laugh.

               Anyone on the outside would say that Connie and Sasha had gone on a thousand dates already. They were so tuned in to each other that it was impossible for others to think of this as their first date. They’d won the “cutest couple that never was” award in high school and were just now on their first date as they neared the end of college.

               “Why did we take so long?” Sasha asked.

               “To order dinner? That thing was ginormous!” Connie said, referring to the massive tome of a Chinese menu they’d looked through.

               “You know what I mean,” Sasha laughed.

               “Yeah,” Connie said. “I do.” He looked down sheepishly then, scratching the back of his neck. “I guess… I was scared. I’ve liked you since the first grade. All those feelings sort of built up. Then I saw all those guys you dated in high school. And… I didn’t wanna lose you.”

               “I think I feel the same way.”

               “I love you, Sasha.”

               “Oh, Connie. Third date. At least.”

               “Ahaha. Shut up.”

               Then their food arrived. Sasha got a massive plate of pork fried rice (she ate it straight from the plate and used the big serving spoon to shuffle it into her mouth), and Connie got the orange chicken. The waitress set a plate of potstickers on the table, and Sasha’s eyes lit up.

               “Man, I gotta date a girl who looks at me like how you look at potstickers,” Connie said.

               “I’ll eat you, Connie.”

               “Oh, yes,” he said.

               She scoffed. “Just eat your food, dirty boy.”

               They ate in silence for a while (Sasha could get very focused when it came to food), and the bill came once Sasha cleared her plate.

               “I’m paying. No arguments,” Connie said.

               “I love you,” Sasha whispered.

               “I see what all this is about now,” Connie replied.

               “No, wait haha I didn’t time that well,” Sasha laughed.

               “Sure. Whatever, gold digger.” He put down about twenty for the food and five dollars for the tip. “Let’s bounce.”

               They got out the door and saw the rain pouring down in buckets. So they pulled the backs of their jackets up over their heads and ran like idiots with their elbows sticking up in the air. When they got to Connie’s car he couldn’t find his keys. Sasha came around to Connie’s side of the car. They were still wearing their jackets like fools, and, Sasha thought, Connie was still the same boy she knew since first grade. Still goofy and kind and joyful. He wasn’t sticking crayons up his nose, but was still by her side after all these years. She was nervous, but bent to kiss him on the check. Naturally, both of them turned bright red, Connie fumbled for his keys, and they were finally in the car and out of the rain.

               They drove for a couple miles in a horrible silence. “So… Um. Sorry… about that,” Sasha said as she fiddled with the radio.

               “Don’t be,” Connie said with a nervous smile. “Seriously.”

               They stopped at a red light.

               “I wouldn’t mind doing it again,” Connie mumbled.

               “Me neither,” Sasha said.

               They leaned in and kissed while “Rock Lobster” played on the radio.

               “It’s our song,” Connie said.

               “Oh, man. I guess so.”

               They sat there in the dark and the rain, at the stoplight that turned from red to green, in front of the drivers who were honking madly for them to get a move on. They sat there ready to forge ahead from this beautiful new crux of their relationship. They sat and they kissed, and there wasn’t anyone in the world who could make them stop.

I kinda think that, had Gravity Falls been a complete farce with little to no concern for continuity and character progression and the like, a third brother/Stantonio character would be funny.

Like the twins would go, “Grunkle Stan how many secret brothers do you have?!”

Smash cut to Greatgrandpa Pines wading through identical Stan babies asking his wife “Have you seen Stanthony? I can’t find him”  

“I thought he was next to Stanfred, no, not that one, the one with the crayon up his nose.”  

“That’s not Stanfred, that’s Stanton.”

“Don’t talk back to me, I gave birth to two dozen boys at once, I will end you.”

“Oh here he is, he switched name tags with the puppy Stanimal.”

the signs as your elementary school classmates

aries: stuck a crayon up their nose

taurus: convinced you to flip off your teacher

gemini: peed themselves regularly

cancer: forced you to kiss and marry them during recess

leo: was too shy to talk

virgo: was always the “mommy” when you played house

libra: was a fucking gymnast at recess

scorpio: read only junie b. jones books

sagittarius: laughed so hard during lunch that milk came out of their noses

capricorn: wore fancy clothes to school every day for no reason

aquarius: killed a man

pisces: chatted with the teacher every day after class

ToppDogg as kindergarteners

P-Goon: that kid who likes to boss people around and hits them if they disobey

Jenissi: the silent kid, usually just sits there and watches everyone horse around

Seogoong: that kid that always brings the best lunch to school but screams at anyone who tries to take some of it

Gohn: that kid who plays around by hitting and pushing people, no one wants to be around him because of this

Hojoon: the obedient teacher’s pet who always follows the rules and yells at everyone to be quiet

Kidoh: that kid thats always screaming and yelling and throwing things, tie him up

Sangdo: the other obedient kid, usually shares his toys with everyone else, is the only kid that sings the “clean up” song

Nakta: that kid thats always sleeping in class, the other kids draw on his face

Hansol: the spoiled kid who uses his aegyo to get what he wants

B-Joo: that kid that runs around the classroom and hides the other kids shoes

Xero: that kid who likes to sweet talk the teachers so he doesn’t get in trouble but is actually very evil

A-Tom: that kid that sticks crayons up his nose for some reason, he has already been to the hospital twice

Yano: that kid that likes to talk shit but cries when others do it to him

Since RH takes place over the course of nearly 27 years, here’s a list of every “event” in timeline order so you can easily track down which chapter your favorite scene is in.

Keep reading

Babysitting

So, since I just got off babysitting for the most lackadaisical parent I’ve ever had to watch for, it occurs to me that there should be some rules for parents who hire baby sitters (particularly teenage babysitters as that tends to be more common than my age).

So for those of you with young children, or those of you who want children, here’s a list of things you should do for your babysitter to maximize the chances that your kid and house are still in one piece when you get back.

1. Babyproof your fucking house: I never thought I would even have to say this, but for the love of god make it so that your kid can’t easily kill itself in your house. I babysit for a woman who has two stories, high stairs, and no baby gate. She gives him empty pill bottles and small things to play with. He’s not even two yet. Keeping someone elses kid alive for a few hours is stressful enough, and I’m not asking you to bubble wrap the place, but make it safe enough that we can take 3 minutes to pee without worrying that junior is attempting to stick a fork in an electrical socket.

2. Explain how to use the carseat/booster seat: I don’t know who the hell designed babyseats but if you don’t deal with them on a regular basis they’re a nightmare. So if you want your babysitter to take your kid to the park, or a little tot’s class or some shit, do not just hand them the carseat and say ‘have fun’. Explain how to use it. I got lucky, the woman just bought the damn thing so I could google the maker and pull up a user manual. Not everyone is so lucky. And in the interest of not killing your kid in a freak auto accident, take the five minutes necessary to go over how to use it.

3. If your kids has allergies or needs medication, let me know BEFORE you leave, not as an 'oh yea’ when you get back: Does your kid have a nut allergy? Do they need to take antibiotics at a certain time? Fantastic! Let us know before you leave. And don’t just hand us a bottle of medicine and say 'you’ll be fine’. You ever tried to force feed a kid medicine? They say it tastes like grape but what it tastes like is chemical and shame. And a lot of parents have methods for coaxing their little darlings into taking it. That’s great! Share it with us so we don’t spend half an hour with your screaming toddler trying to get her to swallow something.

4. Let us know before you leave if your kids have any quirks I need to know about: ARe they afraid of dogs? Do they like to eat sand? Do they need to sleep with a specific stuffed animal? Have they developed an unfortunate obsession with attempting to paint the cat (I shit you not, this happened to me because the parents forgot to tell me. I got paid extra for that). If you want your child and home returned to you in much the same state you left them then let us know anything that can help us to do our jobs.

5. Leave a fucking number and don’t silence your phone!: I had a kid that would not stop screaming like he was in agonizing pain. He was just prone to severe separation anxiety but guess who forgot to mention that? I thought he was sick so I tried to call the parents. No luck, they didn’t answer. It took 30 minutes of calling non-stop before they called me back at which point I was halfway on my way to the hospital. On another instance, the mom and stepdad left a load of numbers on the fridge but conveniently forgot to leave their cell phone number. On that particular day, the dad came to pick the kid up but no one told me this so there’s just this strange guy standing outside demanding to be let in. I was 17 and I called the cops, thank you very much!. Was not a fun day for me. So answer your damn phone and leave a number to call you at.

6. Come home when you say you will and call if you can’t: I get it, traffic made you 15 minutes late. Call us to let us know. And do just just blow off for two extra hours without a word. We do have lives not revolved around watching your kid.

7. Leave microwaveable food: I don’t care if it’s spagettio’s or some homemade organic mush, but do not make me use your stove. This isn’t a laziness thing, it’s a practicality thing. I’m trying to keep an eye on your brood while getting ready to feed them and if I catch your little darling shoving crayons up their nose, I’d like to know I’m not going to set your house on fire if I step away for a minute or two or that darling number two isn’t going to try to 'help’ while my back is turned and burn the crap out of themselves. It’s also good to have a meal set aside so that the babysitter doesn’t have to guess what junior will eat and end up wearing more food then he/she eats.

There are other things but in 14 years of babysitting these are some common sense things that would make your babysitters life a little easier and your kid a little safer.

anonymous asked:

could you do a calum imagine of how you two are best friends and he admitts his feelings for you while drunk?

Yes! Hi, here you go! I hope you like it :-)

DRUNK CALUM 

You sat at the bar alone, you had put on the nicest dress you owned and made your hair all nice. This was the first time you’ve ever really put your attention into your appearance, you actually felt confident and you felt good. You sat at the bar for about 15 minutes before a boy next to you was poking your arm. You turned to him and you raised at eyebrow at him.

“I reaalllllyyy like your dress and you look very very very perrrtyyy, wanna have sex?” the boy said slurring. You laughed at him in which his eyebrows furrowed “wass that a no” he said.

“Calum, you’re drunk” you told him giggling. He looked at you with surprise, “wait how do you, how do yo know my naaamee?”

“calum we’re best friends, come on! This is the drunkest you’ve ever been. It’s me, y/n, we’ve known each other since that time you stuck my favourite crayon up your nose.”

“ you aren’t y/n, yooou look a little similar because she is also very pretty but she doesn’t look like this.” You laughed at Calum and handed him some water as he sat next to you. You could feel him staring at you and you looked back at him “what? is there something on my face or something?” you said nervously. Calum made you feel that way, nervous. It’s pretty cliche actually, you had a crush on your best friend and well he had no idea. You were pretty certain he didn’t feel the same way, i mean he had begged for you two join him at the club and when you arrived you were greeted with the back of his head but you could tell that the front of his was attached to the skinny blonde sucking his face off. “no, theres nothing on your face, youuur perfect.” You stared at his deep brown eyes before saying “would you, would you like y/n more if she dressed like this?” You thought you may as well ask him when he was drunk so that if he didn’t feel the same way you could move on and things wouldn’t be awkward.

“what do you meaaaan? i like y/n more than anyone in the whole widest world”

“i mea, like really like her, not as a friend but more than that?” He stared into your eyes and you started to play with your bracelet. His face turned serious and he said “i like y/n the way she is. No one could ever change the way i feel about her, even when she wears those ugly pyjamas with weird bananas on them. She’s the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen and sometimes i wish that i could tell her how i feel about her. i wish i had the courage to tell her that i fall in love with her even more every time that she smiles, that every time she makes a stupid joke and she laughs, my heart flutters. I wish i could tell her how much i love her but i’m scared she’ll reject me and our friendship will be over. I wish i could tell her that the reason i make out with all these girls is because i don’t think i deserve someone as amazing as her, she tops every person that has ever come into my life. She makes me a better person, she makes everything worth it”

“you, you like me cal?”

“i think i said love and plus you aren’t y/n, remember?” Calum said winking. You looked into his eyes are saw sincerity. “calum, i think maybe you shoulld ask y/n on a date, i’m sure she’ll say yes”

“so will you, will you go on a date with me y/n?” Calum looked so adorable, he was fidgeting a little and you could see how nervous he was. You laughed and said “i’ll go on a date with you Calum, but only if i can wear my pyjamas.” Calum’s eyes brightened and he nodded quickly. You grabbed his hand and you both left the bar, while waiting for a cab, you said to Calum “oh and calum, i love you too” and with that you kissed him under the light of a dim street light.

anonymous asked:

This is less an ask and more a prompt but: Trips, Stan, "let sleeping Grunkles lie"

Dipper ran clawed hands through his hair in frustration. He wasn’t sure what it was about Stan asleep in his easy chair that was so endlessly fascinating to the triplets, but he had had a hell of a time keeping them aw-

Dipper looked over, sighed, and blipped next to Stan, picking up Acacia, who had somehow escaped her play pen and was getting ready to shove a crayon up Stan’s nose.

“You’re fucking with me, aren’t you Pole Star?”

To confirm, Acacia giggled, and then burped in Dipper’s face. 

Henry sighed at his eldest daughter. One alert from Dipper, a trip to the nearest urgent care clinic, and three hundred dollars later, they were finally home. 

He looked at Acacia, sitting at the kitchen table, legs swinging because she couldn’t reach the ground, and looking not the least bit remorseful. Henry knew he shouldn’t expect the entire truth from a four year old but he had to try. 

“Acacia, why did you shove a blue crayon up your nose? I know you know better.”

“To blow blue snot!”

“And you ate all of Mommy’s glitter because-?”

“I wanted to puke rainbows like Jeff does when Mommy kicks him in the stomach and tells him to stop being creepy!”

The apple of his eye, the light of his life, burst into giggles, and Henry pinched his nose. 

How on earth was he going to punish this child?