crash tests for dummies

it wasn’t until a few years ago that carmakers began regularly testing female crash dummies in drivers’ seats. For 30 years, it was just assumed that using male crash test dummies would suffice, even though women are typically smaller than men and the smaller a person is the less force they can tolerate in a crash. That cars were not tested to be safe for female bodies helps to explain why women are killed and injured in car accidents at disproportionately higher rates than men. It’s because women were not included in the analysis—at all.
Crash Test Dummy


“Warning: systems malfunction. Engines failing. Crash inevitable.”

“WHAT!? How can this BE?!” 

“Running systems scan. There appears to be a blockage.”

“A blockage? What is it?! Tell meeee!”

“Further scans indicate it is some kind of food.”

GIR, a small silver and blue robot, looked up at his Irken master, Zim, with wide, unblinking eyes. “Thems are my taquitoooos!”

Zim ground his teeth and growled in frustration. “GIR! Why are there taquitos in the engines!?!?”

“I was hiding them from the mongoose!” The robot stuck his tongue out of his mouth and his eyes turned into crescents as he grinned. 

Zim facepalmed. It was typical of GIR to do things like that, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating. As good a servant as he was, GIR often caused Zim quite a lot of trouble. Taquitos in the engine was just one more thing on a long list of things he’d done that had caused a mission to go wrong.

The computer spoke again and Zim looked back up. “Engines are shutting down. Core temperature has exceeded the maximum limit.” 

The roaring of the engines died off and the Voot Cruiser began sinking out of the sky at an alarming rate. 

“Nooo! Nooo!” Zim shrieked. He furiously prodded the controls, trying to make the ship go through a cold restart. Seconds passed and nothing happened, which prompted Zim to start screaming. GIR joined in too with his own ear-splitting squeal.

The Voot Cruiser slammed into the ground and Zim and GIR were tossed into the windshield. Sand rose in a plume of dust and scattered into the air, eventually coming to rest over top the ship like a semi-transparent blanket. But only GIR got to see that.

Lying unconscious in the pilot’s seat, limbs akimbo, was Zim.

check up [eren/jean/marco]

i got this prompt a while ago and i just thought ‘well. why not just smush it all together because ot3′ 

so thats what i did 8)

notes: jean’s a nursing student, and him, eren, and marco are all dating and live in a campus apartment together ok

“What? No, what the fuck, I’m not going to be your crash test dummy,  dude.”

“Okay, one, I’m a med student, not a race car driver,” Jean points out, plopping down next to Eren on the couch and shoving him just enough that his character on screen flies off the track and into the abyss that is Rainbow Road. Eren glares at him, and Jean raises an eyebrow as he continues, “And two, I have a stupid mini progress evaluation tomorrow over the pre-examination shit.”

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Taking Stock: 90s Songs about Superman
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The 90s offered a wide variety of subject matter: heroin, peaches, butts, you name it, there was probably a song about it. One character who appeared in multiple tunes was the Man of Steel himself, Superman.

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Requested by anon

Though it wasn’t easy, it wasn’t impossible to defend yourself against a vampire, which was what Enzo was showing you. He showed you some things and he was the crash test dummy, the person you tried them on. Having just finished a move you two now stood at opposite ends of the area you were practicing in. “I must say you look quite stunning when you’re pretending to try and kill me” he grinned. You chuckled lightly and smirked at him. “Who said I was pretending” you teased.

Imagine the SPG bots sneaking their way onto a taping of an experiment for Mythbusters.

  • Instead of using Buster the Crash Test Dummy they just launch GG off a building.
  • Rabbit volunteers to be in the middle of an explosion, to The Spine’s dismay.
  • Hatchworth and Jamie argue about who’s mustache is better.
  • The Spine tried to stick to the scientific method while Rabbit and Hatchy stuff explosives into every nook of an abandoned car for the hell of it.

[Image: In a screen cap from the “Let’s make a Geoff” ep of Top Gear, we have Richard Hammond and James May. Hammond is in the midst of painting James’ face with crash test dummy circles; Hammond is laughing while May is glancing at him, obviously wondering what was actually being drawn on his face. The caption reads: “(630): I don’t know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important.”]

the way you slam your body into mine
makes me think shipwreck
makes me think car crash
makes me think collision, collision, collision
i’m crash test dummy and
you are going 55 in a 15
I try to say, yellow for slow down
for baby take it easy
but always get lost in your green eyes mean go
do you like the way my body smashes against your windshield?
sorry about all the blood
even though I think it goes nicely with your shattered glass
and anyway I think this love will kill me
and anyway baby, this love has killed me

“KILLED ON IMPACT”// atiya abdul

Why after TLM it’s still 90% certain Blind Ivan worked with Stanford

1) Let’s start with my reasoning behind there being another, third person, working with Stanford besides Fiddleford, especially on the Project Portal:

a) three-part harmony:

b) 3 Portal shutdown keys:

c) Look at those 3 human-like silhouettes below: 

Wouldn’t it seem more logical to somehow distinguish the crash dummy from the rest that is humans? Also the pose that “dummy” makes while entering the portal looks very human-like. 

Stanford: “Many long nights were spent perfecting the machine. (…)  The time had come to test it.”

The reason why we use crash dummies for tests is to check if an action is safe for humans = it was planned from the start that someone was to enter the Portal = the third member of Project Portal.

d) This picture from the Last Mabelcorn:

Why are they standing so far from each other?? It looks as if there was something between them… maybe someone who got erased from their memory but the empty space remained! Okay, maybe it’s for the aesthetics but… still.. it’s just odd. Especially if you consider this quote from SotBE: 

“You’ve never met me before. And if you had, you wouldn’t remember.  I am Blind Ivan, and we are the Society of the Blind Eye.”
He was the person who didn’t remember anything from his life besides his time in the Society and was attributed “a life of regret” in SotBE’s credits:

“Gideon’s Tantrums = Bud Gleeful, Misspelled Tattoos = the “Head, Chin” bodyguard, Shandra’s Rejections = Toby Determined, Society’s views =Woodpecker Guy, A fear of witches = the guy who gave Waddles to Mabel , A life of regret = Blind Ivan, these are the things that they try to forget”

It seems pretty logical for a person who regrets his past so much he decided to erase his whole identity from his memory to also make sure no one else remembers seeing him before, including Fiddleford and Stanford. 

e)  What Dipper read aloud from Journal 3 in Dreamscaperers:

“It is possible to follow the demon into a person’s mind and prevent his chaos. One must simply recite this incantation:”

If it was only Ford who was possessed what use could this be? He can’t enter his own mind and after Bill’s betrayal, when Ford could need someone’s help in getting Bill out of his mind, Fiddleford already quit the project so there was no one who could do this for him. So the incarnation must have been used by Stanford on someone else or vice versa. So again: there must have been a third person involved.

f) If Ford installed the metal plate in his head after Bill’s betrayal = after Fiddleford left the project: HOW DID IT HAPPEN? Hospitals don’t do such operations just because a person is afraid of a demon entering their mind. Doing this yourself is impossible, plus Ford has a degree in Theoretical Physics, not Medicine. There must have been someone else Ford at least remotely trusted = worked with before, who did it for him.

g) Stanford stitching his memories together?:

Ford in AToTS:  “But I couldn’t make it alone. I decided to call up my old college buddy, Fiddleford McGucket, a young but brilliant mechanic, who was wasting his talent trying to make personal computers some garage in Palo Alto.

- It’s highly unrealistic that Fiddleford, who had a wife and a son, didn’t consult them before agreeing to move out and work on the Portal and instead said yes immediately as we were shown in AToTS.

Fiddleford in SotBE: “ For the past year I have been working as an assistant for a visiting researcher

If Fiddleford lived in GF and met Ford there, then perhaps, the “college buddy” was someone else… “the third person”?

got you interested? look under the cut:

2) Why Blind Ivan specifically?

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