crash my car

life tip: replace those “i’m sorry”s with “thank you”s!

for instance, instead of saying “i’m sorry that i crashed my car into your house” say, “thank you that i crashed my car into your house,”

Fun side effects of MaDD: Long daydreams, creative mind, easy entertainment, good distraction

Not-so-fun side effects: THE UNCONTROLLABLE NEED TO IMAGINE EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE SCENARIO OF WHAT HAPPENED WHENEVER SOMEONE IS FIVE MINUTES LATE INCLUDING VERY DESCRIPTIVE IMAGES AND for some reason now we’re daydreaming their funeral while they open the door, lack of time management skills, loss of social skills, disassociation, etc.

anonymous asked:

omg zayn as your gps voice - lol i would crash my car the first time it came on

I really wish his team would get on board with that as an in-app Zaynmoji purchase. 

“Ah fink yew went theh wrong weh”

“Dis tuhrn is cohmin’ oop”

“Yeh might beh interested in dis caht movie playin’ neahbyeh”


had spotify on shuffle and i almost crashed my car because this started playing

  • 707: This is the worst day ever!
  • MC: Cause Jumin crashed your car?
  • 707: No, because it's a little humid YES CAUSE JUMIN CRASHED MY CAR!
  • Middle aged white male's impersonation of a millennial: OMG lyke i totes didnt mean to crash the car my rich mummy bought me but i totes had to text my bff about her latest facebook selfie LOL whatevs dude
  • Actual millennial: I aspire to be able to pay off my second hand car sometime next year, but in this turbulent economical state, my three minimum wage jobs barely pay my medical insurance. I've nearly exhausted my phone's data while researching scholarships that may assist me, but I did take a moment to compliment my good friend's latest Instagram photo because she has worryingly low self confidence and occasionally needs affirmation of her worth, like most humans.

Void Stiles is LIFE💓💓💓

im a poor trans girl and life has been horribly hectic recently, i got evicted, got in a car crash that totaled my car, im staying with a friend at the moment so i have a roof over my head but this is only a temporary living situation. At the moment im trying to get to my fiancee in germany and dont have quite enough to get there. I need 200-ish dollars to get there(my brother works for the airline and can get me super cheap tickets) im kinda really desperate and cant really borrow any more money from my family. if you can donate anything or signal boost this it would be a huge help.

you can donate at


I just woke up and I was in the hospital and I knew that I had hurt myself very, very, very badly… but I wasn’t really sure. And then someone held a mirror up to my face and I just felt that my career was over - Mark Hamill (about the accident that changed his facial appearance)