crash my car

Lance is like… the unexpected ride or die friend. He’s the guy you call when your car breaks down in the middle of the night but only after you’ve already tried ten other people. And when he picks up you don’t really have high hopes because you two aren’t really that close, but apparently he didn’t get the memo because he’s immediately like “oh shit yeah sure gimme a sec to get some clothes on and get in my car and also do you want coffee or anything? because I think I’m gonna stop and get some so I don’t crash my car on the way lol. no? you sure? okay hang tight for a few mins be right there”

Fun side effects of MaDD: Long daydreams, creative mind, easy entertainment, good distraction

Not-so-fun side effects: THE UNCONTROLLABLE NEED TO IMAGINE EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE SCENARIO OF WHAT HAPPENED WHENEVER SOMEONE IS FIVE MINUTES LATE INCLUDING VERY DESCRIPTIVE IMAGES AND for some reason now we’re daydreaming their funeral while they open the door, lack of time management skills, loss of social skills, disassociation, etc.

  • ADHD stereotype: reckless, proactive, creative, funny, charismatic, talkative, ambitious, sociable, energetic
  • Me, ADHD goblin: barely has enough energy to get up in the morning, speaks in garbled Satan-tongue, devoid of wit, socially anxious disaster, crashed my car into another guys car this morning because I literally forgot it was there within seconds of seeing it
  • Albus: Teddy, pretend to be my mom to Scorpius's mom.
  • Teddy: [picks up the phone] Hello? This is...Mum Potter. The children are playing swords. Sorry. Playing with swords. Oh no. They are dead. Do not call again. [hangs up]
  • Scorpius and Albus: ...
  • Teddy: Sorry, I panicked.
  • Bucky Barnes, college graduate (just), is on his way home from graduation weekend. Its a long drive, why he has an apartment a block away from the university, but nothing he’s not used to, and sometimes you need to be home y’know? 
    • his parents left a few hours before him, he’d gone out with a few friends after the ceremony, but had stuck strictly to soda for the night
  • Everything’s going fine, when his car gets hit by a drunk driver, knocked over, and ends up in a lake
    • he’s knocked unconscious by the impact with the water
  • He wakes up not entirely sure where he is, but he’s pretty sure he’s not in Kansas anymore
    • And I mean he could be wrong, but he’s pretty sure the person sitting beside him has tattoos. That are moving. But then again it could be the headache
  • He wakes up again, in a house that smells of medicinal herbs, and nope, that guy’s tattoos are still moving, and the person next to tattoo-guy has wings
    • his first words after the crash are what the fuck followed by an ow what the fuck? as his ribs remind him of their impact with an airbag.
    • wing-man snickers, moving-tattoo-guy chastises wing-man then says something about going out to get a healer. Bucky and wing-man are left staring awkwardly at each other. Wing-man introduces himself as Sam, and Bucky’s too distracted by the feathers he’s dropping to do more than wave.
  • A now very confused recent college graduate Bucky Barnes is roped into this fantastical adventure where the Fae Folk are trying to Not Die Out, and it turns out his rescuer, Steve (tattoo-man) is not only one of the leaders of the Fae, but kind of stupidly attractive and he doesn’t even realise it
    • like boy does he not realise it
    • it’s equal parts endearing and frustrating really
  • Time passes, Things happen, friends are made. He gets invested in this world and this Fight and these people and just as things start to fall into place, gets hit, blindsided by something and pitching forward onto the stone hall floor.
  • He wakes up on the bank of the lake, sirens loud in his ears
  • But before he can really feel upset, the firefighter that pulled him out of his car pulls off his headgear, all reassuring smiles and gentle hands as he helps Bucky sit up, and he recognises those eyes
    • (Bucky’s not sure what’s real anymore, but the tattoo on his arm looks real and the new scar on his arm feels real but so does this life and this Steve and he thinks he’s going mad until he sees a flicker of red magic, the flash of brown hair, the pleased little glint of Wanda’s eyes in the reflection of a shop window, and he thinks, maybe, this was his story all along)

i’m writing this please don’t tag as ‘on my list’ or ‘someone write this’

Front Bottoms Songs for the Signs
  • Aries: Lone Star// "She looks me dead in the eyes and says 'hey Brian if you still believe in the Lord above,
  • get on your hands and knees and pray for us"
  • Taurus: Santa Monica// "Where I'm standing there is a cool, cool breeze. Heavenly bodies make the devil a little uncomfortable."
  • Gemini: Father// "And I am leaving as soon as I come.
  • As soon as I come you will probably forget my name.
  • I hope I fall asleep at the wheel and crash my car."
  • Cancer: Flashlight// "You are still here, you are still happy, you are still smiling and laughing, you are still the only thing and everything I need in my life."
  • Leo: Cough It Out// "All the branches on the tree, that we carved our initials in seem to bend and take the shape of them."
  • Virgo: The Beers// "And I will remember that summer, as the summer I was taking steroids, because you like a man with muscles, and I like you."
  • Libra: Funny You Should Ask// "But you were young, you thought you didn't have to care about anyone, but you're older now and wish that you could."
  • Scorpio: Swimming Pool// "There's no doubt in my mind that if you could then you would try to crack my ribcage open and pull my heart right through."
  • Sagittarius: West Virginia// "I thought I had it figured out, how to organize my words good before they fall right out my mouth."
  • Capricorn: Awkward Conversations// "I personally think it's too cold to have the window open, but you want to smoke your menthol cigarettes."
  • Aquarius: Maps// "And what about your friends. Don't you love them enough to stay? And I say if I don't leave now then I will never get away."
  • Pisces: 12 Feet Deep// "Maybe college won't work out, I can come live at your house. I'm supposed to be at class now but my roommate just passed out."

anonymous asked:

I love your humanstuck designs! How about some humanstuck Terezi or Vriska?

two for the price of one, heres angsty gfs

life tip: replace those “i’m sorry”s with “thank you”s!

for instance, instead of saying “i’m sorry that i crashed my car into your house” say, “thank you that i crashed my car into your house,”