craigslist dates

anonymous asked:

Do you have any mpreg fics?

of course! here you go!

Pregnant Stiles:

The Smallest Beginning. (24/24/ | 132,642 | Rated M)

The result of a one night stand is the catalyst that starts the chain reaction of events that will form the rest of his life. Stiles life has now been changed for better or for worse and it is now his decision that will frame it. It’s simply by chance that everything comes together in his life in the form of one little miracle.

Settle Down (19/19 | 153,181 | Rated E)

Stiles is a struggling author barely making ends meet.

Derek is a successful architect whose biological clock is ticking.

Enter a surrogacy agency, two packs, and a particularly sticky and toe curling heat week and you get a match made in heaven.

nativity (like a boss) (1/1 | 9,228 | PG-13)

“Derek keeps trying to get me to push,” Stiles complains as soon as the camera’s focused on him.

a mountain to climb (11/11 |  126,412 | Rated E)

“Don’t do it,” he mutters. “Don’t do it, please, don’t do it.”

But there it is, a soft pink line appearing right next to the control. Stiles’ legs give out from under him; he sinks to the bathroom floor, hands shaking, his entire body shaking. It’s hard to breathe, his vision blurring around the edges. There’s a knock on the door behind him and then it opens and Scott sits down next to him.

“I’m fucked,” Stiles gasps, tears prickling at his eyes. “I’m fucked!”

Your Baby and Me (27/27 | 134,428 | Rated M)

“Him, you recommended, and he seems fit for the job,” Derek said, handing the application to her flashing a charming smile. “Stiles Stilinski, he’s going to carry my pup.” 

The Royal Omega (10/10 | 22,602 | Rated E)

When Stiles presents as the first omega in almost 50 years he gets shoved into a life he didn’t expect to ever experience. When Stiles shows up at the palace he didn’t expect to steal the heart of the Prince by just standing there!

Or the one where Derek and Stiles are soulmates and they’re quite the rare pair.

Fire, Fury, and Flame (22/22 | 124,623 | Rated E)

Stiles Stilinski was never going to be the omega who got knocked up right after high school, and then he’s accidentally artificially inseminated with a stranger’s sperm.
Awesome.
And the father of Stiles’s baby just so happens to be Derek Hale. Half-feral, quite possibly a murderer, and pursued by a gleefully sadistic band of hunters who are only too eager to use Stiles and his baby to hit Derek right where it hurts.
Joy.

Pregnant Derek:

No Vacancy (2 works | 34,964 | Rated M)

“29-Year Old Omega (muscular/scruffy/perpetual sourface) Seeking for Alpha-Baby-Daddy. Might or might not be named Stiles”

Derek is an unusually muscular Omega with irregular heats and dumb luck.

Stiles is an unusually polite Alpha who forgets to leave his number.

Laura is a furious Alpha who wants to wear Stiles’ balls on a golden chain.

Cora is a pragmatic Alpha who composes Craigslist ads.

Expiration Dates (22/22 | 226,825 | Rated M)

When 13-year old orphaned Derek Hale tests positive as a male carrier, his newly appointed guardian and uncle Peter uses his influence to make the test result go away, aware that in their deeply carrier-phobic society his nephew’s status could prove to be the downfall of the family company.

16 years later Derek is pressured into firing eight months-pregnant Danny Mahealani, creating a publicity scandal that, as the Equal Rights for Carriers movement gains more and more ground, results in an unprecedented media outrage targeted towards Hale & Argent Publishers.

A very reluctant Derek finds himself forced into defending his company’s prejudiced views on national television, facing off in heated debates against Stiles Stilinski, a guy he happened to have a one-night stand with months ago and has been pining over ever since. Stiles is a disgruntled former Hale & Argent employee, a staunch supporter of the ERC movement, he hates everything Derek stands for … and, courtesy of an expired condom, he’s also, unknowingly, the father of the child Derek wasn’t even aware he could carry in the first place.

From This Moment (1/1 | 16,711 | Rated M)

After discovering Derek is pregnant, Stiles offers to be his “Pregnancy Buddy.” On top of the usual difficulties of carrying a child, Stiles has to navigate Derek’s emotional turmoil from the traumatic event that conceived the baby, and his own feelings that he’s developing for Derek.

Puppy Separation Anxiety  (1/1 | 9,188 | PG)

Derek and Stiles’ three year old daughter is completely fine with Derek dropping her off at Pre-K, but has a separation anxiety induced meltdown every time Stiles does.

Naturally, Derek jumps to conclusions that couldn’t be farther from the truth if he’d tried.

Stiles and Derek Have a Baby (19 works |  52,238 | Rated M)

As the title says, Stiles and Derek have a baby, made possible by Derek’s magical Alpha-Uterus and my belief that it doesn’t always have to be Stiles who gets pregnant, gorgeous though these stories are ;-).

Join them on their journey as they: battle the evils of “Never Stops and I Want to Die”-Sickness (Derek’s words), struggle with suddenly too tight skinny jeans and form-fitting Henleys, overcome unexpected protective urges and Nutella-cravings, experience the joy of the baby’s first movements, argue about names and Twilight (repeatedly), and finally welcome the “cutest, most beautiful baby in the universe” (Stiles’ words) to the Alliteration-Verse.

Ok, maybe I'm overreacting

I’m all for adult conversation, but doesn’t it seem like the information these men ask for is unnecessary?

For example, if he asks what I do and I respond with “retail”, then he’ll probably ask what store. Fine. I tell him the store. Then he wants to know what mall. FINE. I tell him the mall.

Then he STILL inquires on what specific department and what my hours for the day are? At this point I’m concerned about whether or not he’s going to pop up on me, which I don’t need.

All of this before we ever meet in person. Honestly, am I overreacting? I feel like if ever he’s really trying to do is figure out if I can hang out or talk on the phone, then he can just ask that and I’ll respond accordingly.

anonymous asked:

Hi!!!! XD Do happen to know any BTS fics with angst. Whether it be a little or extreme. Please and thank you 😁

Check out our angst tag here!

Also some of my faves:

Blueberry Muffins by yoonminaufest [Yoonmin, E, 66k]

The Devil Wears A Leather Jacket (Not Prada) bythrowingpineapples [Yoonmin, T, 14k]

Craigslist Date by springrain21 [Yoonmin, M, 48k]

*** cuz in a sky full of stars (i think i saw you) bywowoashley [Taekook, E, 64k]

- Admin Ange (my yoonmin heart is showing)

Craigslist Date

author: springrain21

YoonMin

AO3

Fake Dating AU

Description: Min Yoongi’s family are judgmental and unsupportive of his lifestyle and his mother won’t stop nagging him about how he’s still single. When he finds Park Jimin on Craigslist offering to pose as someone’s fake date to mess with their family, Yoongi can’t help himself. What starts as a prank on Yoongi’s family turns into something more when the two of them quickly develop feelings for each other. Will Yoongi, who doesn’t know how to handle feelings, let his chance at love slip away, or will he go after the silver-haired boy and hold onto him forever?

Inspired by that tumblr post about the guy on Craigslist who you can hire to be your date for Thanksgiving to screw with your family because that post makes me cry laughing every time I see it.

Comments: OK, I love this story, it is funny and cute and sweet. With great main characters in Jimin and Yoongi. And awesome secondary characters in Hyunki, Minsoo, and Yoong’s grandmother. They added alot of Depth and laughter. A wonderful fun read.

Beautiful Disaster (Part 2)

Story Summary: Your best friend asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a family gathering and you reluctantly accept his request [Modern AU].

Word Count: 1,415

Part 1

A/N: Happy reading :)

Originally posted by lizziesolsen

“You are treading on dangerous waters, Y/N,” Wanda cautioned as you packed up your belongings in your bedroom. “Do even remember the rom-coms we’ve watched involving this kind of proposal?”

“I have, Wanda. I didn’t forget any of them,” you muttered, grabbing more clothes from your dresser. “I just couldn’t say ‘no’ to him, you know? He was begging and I felt bad,” you explained while Wanda shook her head, resting her back on the bed. “We’ll be only staying there for a week. I highly doubt something is going to happen in that short period of time.”

Keep reading

Looking for a Bull

I’m tried Craigslist and Adult Dating sites and none of it has worked. So we are gonna give this a shot. We are looking for a bull that would love to fuck my sexy bubble butt blonde wife while I watch and record. Maybe do it when I’m not there and send pics and video. Requirements are be in the NY/NJ area or be willing to travel, be tall, good looking, well endowed. She prefers Spanish men with braids/long hair. Likes nice eyes, smile, Tattoos and the bad boy types. Message us, send her an email with pics and a little something to get her intrigued. Hope we find the right bull for the job. Good luck guys.

In Case You're Ever In a Writing Shlump
  • ‘we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we’re standing in the hallway avoiding each other’ AU
  • 'I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ AU' 
  • holy shit i’m in the wrong car’ AU
  • LASER TAG AU
  • ‘Omg I can’t believe you still listen to CDs let me help you digitize’ AU’
  • I know you steal my wifi to watch porn but it’s kinda hot idk’ AU
  • 'My pet really hates your pet’ AU' 
  • Customer that knows wayyyy more than the brand new employee please help me out’ AU
  • 'I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD” AU
  • 'dude i know we don’t know each other but my swim trunks came off when i jumped in the water can you grab them for me’ AU
  • ”it’s 2am and i’m drunk and i need some goddamn french fries right now so open your fucking door’ AU
  • SWIM TEAM AU
  • 'got mistaken for a celebrity by the celebrity’s biggest fan’ AU
  • 'this person just fell asleep on me in the subway but they’re cute so whatever’ AU
  • 'sorry i set the fire alarm in our building off again for the forty-eighth time i was trying to cook’ AU
  • 'so YOU’RE the douchebag who keeps mowing their lawn while i’m trying to sleep’ AU’
  • I know nothing about camping will you help me i think i heard a bear’ au
  • WINDOW WASHER AU
  • 'we’re literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something’ AU
  • 'I hired you off craigslist to be my date for a wedding’ AU
  • ’I’m a werewolf but I’m embarrassed to tell you because my wolf form is more like a chihuahua’ AU
  • 'we both tried to rob a bank at the same time’ AU
  • you’re the drummer for my brothers band and i find you really hot AU
  • lost in a random small town and you show me around AU
  • accidentally broke into your apartment because i was drunk AU
  • i found your dog wondering the streets so i decided to come and return him AU
  • i audition to model in your music video and we end up hitting it off AU
  • we get seated next to each other on a delayed flight AU
  • co-stars whose characters date each other on the show AU
  • pretending to date bc reasons AU
  • you’re a hot surfer and i’m an awkward person working at an ice cream stand on the beach AU
  • accidentally found and read your diary AU
  • i didn’t know you were my teacher AU
  • woke up with amnesia AU
  • you’re a devil and i’m an angel AU
  • you’re a jock and i’m into theater AU
  • secretly have to date so our parents don’t find out AU
  • fame has gotten to your head so you were sent off to live with country relatives AU
  • pretending to date you because someone was obnoxiously hitting on you AU
  • i’m in a lame band and you’re the towns bad boy/girl AU
  • modern day romeo and juliet AU
  • we actually can’t stand each other but for some reason we talk everyday AU
  • ended up meeting in prison and now we’re in love AU
  • cross-country road trip gone wrong AU
  • stuck in a horrible zombie apocalypse AU
  • we fucked once and somehow keep bumping into each other AU
  • has to share a cab because there’s a thunderstorm ahead (and then gets stuck in ridiculous NY/LA traffic) AU
  • you’re a ghost and i’m a human and somehow we fall in love with each other AU
  • met on a cruise ship AU
  • get’s lost on an island together AU
  • we went on a long road trip and got into a car crash and we’re the only two who survived AU
  • gang member AU
  • i’m pregnant but it’s not yours AU
  • we go to the same coffee shop every evening to do homework but we never speak to each other until today AU
  • end up getting married in vegas although we’re total strangers AU
  • you apply to be my roommate AU
  • greasers / socs AU
  • we met in the summer and now i go to your school but you act like a typical jerk AU
  • it’s the 50’s / 60’s and we’re in love but our love is forbidden because of law AU
  • it’s the 50’s / 60’s and our love is so sweet it causes toothaches AU
  • we work at the same 50’s diner AU
  • i’m visiting your country for vacation and you show me around AU
  • modern day beauty & the beast AU
  • rich / poor AU
  • zombie falls in love with a human AU
  • hunger games AU
  • we runaway together and now we’re hiding from our parents and the police with no food, money, or clothes AU
  • alice in wonderland AUdetention on a saturday afternoon AU
  • nothing but a fragment of ones imagination AU (as in a coma & they imagine each other being real)
  • we rob places together as a couple and get away with it AU
  • all boys boarding school AU
  • best friends when we were young and then you moved and now we meet again at college AU
  • ouran host club AU
  • arranged marriage AU
  • we met at a really strict summer camp and ended up breaking all the rules together one by one AU
  • asylum AU
  • war AU
  • we both have cancer and go to the same support group AU
  • we decide to play a game of chicken together which leads to one thing or another AU
  • we’re both in conservative relationships so we decide to sneak off and be each others friends with benefits AU
  • we’re best friends and we take each others virginity’s AU
  • we dated when we were younger and now we’re step siblings AU
  • finds a death note and uses it to their advantage AU (based off of the anime)
  • our friends put us on a blind date AU
  • i’m only your friend because we smoke weed and get high together AU

gathered from here and here

okay so “i hired you off craigslist to be my date for this event and i’ve kind of fallen in love with you” AUs are great, but what about
“you hired me off craigslist to be your date for this event, but now you’re off talking to people i don’t know so i hung back and befriended this other person’s hired date and now i think I’m falling for them”

AU

So, over time I’ve liked/saved a crap ton of lists people have made up of AU scenarios. I wanted to combine them into a giant post of all of them so people can use them for fanfics or whatever. Note: IF ANY OF THESE AUS ARE YOURS AND YOU’D LIKE THEM REMOVED FROM THIS LIST, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I’LL DO IT. I’M NOT TRYING TO STEAL NOTES I JUST WANTED ALL THESE GREAT IDEAS IN ONE PLACE. So, here we go…

tickatocka:

  • i fell asleep on your shoulder and you were too polite to move or wake me up au
  • we have the same luggage and didn’t check the tags before we left so i’m calling you to exchange suitcases (and you also had some interesting things in your bag so i’m excited to meet you) au
  • author of book gets seated next to someone reading their book and making entertaining faces at each scene au
  • bonding solely via eye contact over that annoying person on our plane that we’re both slowly becoming more and more exasperated about au
  • you fell asleep and i started making funny faces at your kid to keep them amused and the steward mistook us for a couple au
  • actually, any mistaken for a couple au
  • i’m afraid of flying and you were incredibly helpful and tolerant and sweet about it au
  • i made a horrible first impression at the gate or in line for airport food but now we’re sitting next to each other au

twinkwolf:

  • both of our children are sick in the hospital and we meet nightly at the coffee machine au 
  • spies that have to be fake married on a fake honeymoon on an undercover operation in the tropics au
  • i’m in love with your crafts in your etsy shop and i’m also in love with you au
  • college au where my roommate brings me home to their thanksgiving and my roommate’s sister has brought her friend home as well and oh no you’re hot au
  • drunk strangers arrested for having sex outside of the bar and are stuck doing community service together au
  • a photojournalist and a red cross worker in a conflict zone au

whatbethsays

  • being reunited after surviving the zombie apocalypse unknowing if the other was alive or dead AU
  • rescuing their partner from a recon mission gone wrong AU
  • drama school rivals being cast as romantic opposites because they have “crazy sexual tension” according to their director AU
  • “are we both robbing the same house oh fuck” AU
  • growing up together in a rough neighbourhood AU
  • mutual friends always dragged to the same inane barbecues AU

pumpkinsdean:

  • ‘we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we’re standing in the hallway avoiding each other’ AU
  • 'I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ AU
  • ’ holy shit i’m in the wrong car’ AU
  • LASER TAG AU
  • ‘Omg I can’t believe you still listen to CDs let me help you digitize’ AU
  • ’ I know you steal my wifi to watch porn but it’s kinda hot idk’ AU
  • 'My pet really hates your pet’ AU
  • ’ Customer that knows wayyyy more than the brand new employee please help me out’ AU
  • 'I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD” AU
  • 'dude i know we don’t know each other but my swim trunks came off when i jumped in the water can you grab them for me’ AU
  • ”it’s 2am and i’m drunk and i need some goddamn french fries right now so open your fucking door’ AU
  • SWIM TEAM AU
  • 'got mistaken for a celebrity by the celebrity’s biggest fan’ AU
  • 'this person just fell asleep on me in the subway but they’re cute so whatever’ AU
  • 'sorry i set the fire alarm in our building off again for the forty-eighth time i was trying to cook’ AU
  • 'so YOU’RE the douchebag who keeps mowing their lawn while i’m trying to sleep’ AU
  • 'I know nothing about camping will you help me i think i heard a bear’ au
  • WINDOW WASHER AU
  • 'we’re literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something’ AU
  • 'I hired you off craigslist to be my date for a wedding’ AU
  • ’I’m a werewolf but I’m embarrassed to tell you because my wolf form is more like a chihuahua’ AU
  • 'we both tried to rob a bank at the same time’ AU

deliverusfromsburb:

  • I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  • vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room
  • my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  • it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
  • hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
  • hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
  • variations of the above
  • I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity
  • all our friends are drunk
  • it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
  • we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
  • humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)
  • we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
  • GROUP PROJECT

cliffnotesofanerd:

  • Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
  • This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
  • I found your USB drive still in the computer
  • I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
  • You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
  • We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  • We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
  • You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf
  • Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
  • You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs
  • You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
  • What are you doing at this table at the career fair
  • Waiting for office hours
  • I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
  • Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
  • You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.
  • We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
  • You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline

inthebackoftheimpala:

  • my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  • we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
  • Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
  • Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash
  • Your school mailbox is right next to mine
  • I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
  • My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire
  • You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
  • My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
  • we’re both on althetic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
  • You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance
  • What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?

therightnippleofgilgamesh:

  • street performers AU
  • got a crush on the hairdresser and now my hair is slowly getting really short AU
  • we’ve been dating for three months and you’re only now telling me you’re a werewolf AU
  • ended up adopting like three dogs because that pet shelter employee is really hot AU
  • accidentally called a sex line AU
  • we reached for the last box of chicken nuggets in the supermarket at the same time and there’s no way I’m letting you have it asshole AU
  • met at a con where we accidentally cosplayed the fandom otp PLOT TWIST it’s our notp but god damn I wouldn’t mind making out with you AU
  • wore the same obscure fandom shirt in public AU
  • I was singing in public and you decided to join in and now we’re singing a dramatic duet together also what’s your number AU

caswitch:

  • 'i got caught staring at my adult neighbour raking up a bunch of leaves in their backyard and jumping into them and now have to awkwardly pretend i saw nothing’ au
  • met at a pumpkin patch fighting over the same perfectly round and picturesque pumpkin au
  • 'me and my roommate decided to decorate our house for halloween but got really into it, and ended up re-enacting several scenes from nightmare on elm street so loud the neighbours called the police to investigate screams’ au
  • 'i ordered a pumpkin spice latte at starbucks and you made a heart with the foam and i decided to drink it here so i can smile at you some more’ au
  • 'this stranger on the street corner looks like they’re severely unprepared for this cold weather, here, take my scarf, i was planning on donating it to goodwill anyways’ au
  • 'i was unaware that there was an organized zombie crawl going on and i didn’t realize you were in a costume and i screamed in your face because i truly thought i was facing a zombie invasion’ au

wintersoldeirs:

  • met at a charity kissing booth au
  • sex shop employee and slightly flustered customer au
  • highschool party au with spin the bottle
  • neighbours au where person A goes over to person B to tell B to ‘stop singing karaoke it’s 2am’
  • met in a line for a roller-coaster au (bonus: one of them is scared shitless)
  • 'you were the only one at the party who understood my movie reference’ au
  • lifeguard/swimmer or lifeguards au

frostlawyer:

  • incredibly long crosscountry train ride AU
  • police procedural AU
  • bookstore AU
  • reluctant teammates that save the world together AU
  • platonic living together AU
  • lawyers AU
  • stuck-in-an-airport-because-the-flights-were-SO-VERY-delayed-and-it’s-like-two-am AU
  • sent to live with cousins AU
  • pretending to be siblings because of reasons AU
  • teaming up to rescue respective abducted children AU
  • pseudo-adopting-the-runaway-i-ran-into AU
  • forget high school students AU i want a high school teachers AU
  • law school AU
  • on the same college tour AU
  • trapped in a bank during a robbery AU
  • forced to share a table at the coffee shop a couple days in a row because crowded coffee shop and no room AU
  • DOCTORS AU
  • medical school AU
  • ride the same bus together literally every day AU
  • vet clinic AU
  • 'i’m pretending to be ur bff bc u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u’ AU
  • college professors AU
  • on a train together and the train is stopped in the middle of nowhere for some reason AU

puppetamateur:

  • 'oh my god im so sorry my dog usually doesnt jump up on people like this i have no idea what their deal is but also hey there’
  • met while jumping into the same pile of freshly raked leaves in a park (alternatively, one jumps in and they met when no 2 kicks said pile of leaves)
  • waiting behind you in line but ‘excuse you me did i just hear you talking shit about my favourite superhero there SON’
  • 3am and the fire alarm in our apartment complex just went off let me lend you my jacket while we wait on the sidewalk
  • it started as one game of ddr in a games acarde/convention and turned into a two hour long battle and i wont let you wiN
  • 'it was raining so hard i wasnt paying attention as i ran into the side of your car/you/your umbrella but were both drenched now and also hey there’
  • eating in the same diner every morning and the waitress ALWAYS mixes up our orders so why dont we just sit at the same table to save her the trouble
  • well were both here to meet a mutual friend to hang out but they dropped out last second and this is awkward as shit huh
  • 'im sorry but your headphones are so loud i can hear them from here and just what the crap do you think youre listening to thats so two thousand and late’
  • 'wait, have we met before?’ 'no, i think i wouldve remembered’ just in any context just do it okay
  • ghost hunters/haunted house/paranormal investigators au
  • fLORIST AU

thelockwolf:

  • met doing laundry at 2am college au 
  • accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  • picked up the wrong book when we bumped into each other college au
  • hey exchange student why don’t you can come to mine for thanksgiving?? college au
  • did i mention college au
  • walked in on you in the shower college au
  • drunkenly hooked up but you’re dating my roommate who already hates me college au
  • the always-partying kid falls for the always-studying kid college au
  • heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider college au
  • i really hate you but you have the highest grades in class and i need help college au

toxixpumpkin:

  • You’re a rebel by accident cause you get really animated when you talk and hit people in the face leading to fights. Now you just roll with it. I know the truth though.
  • Totally saw you spray paint the principals car and you’ll have to buy me dinner to keep me quiet.
  • I pretty much live in detention and you’re a straight A student here on your first offense. Wanna add another and skip detention with me?
  • Every time I get in a fight you patch me up but now I’m the one patching you up after your tripped on thin air.
  • I’m a super tough punk who hates authority. Your parents are cops who have met me more than once but I like you a lot.
  • Me and my buddies vandalized your backyard trampling your mini garden in the process. Now I feel really shitty cause you’re really upset about this. Look I’ll help fix it okay just stop with the sad faces.
  • Accidentally knocked you out when you got caught in the middle of a fist fight between me and this other kid during school. So I sat with you in the nurses office. Shut up! Punks like me have consciouses to you know!
  • You’re always picking fights and I’m the one who has to use my charm and way with words to stop them from getting out of hand.
  • You’re a police officer and I’m constantly in and out of holding/jail and we get to know each other well so sometimes you give me my favorite treats when no ones looking.
  • I’m always fighting and getting in trouble at school so people avoid me. You frequent the small ice cream shop my parents own and know how kind I am to children and elderly people but I don’t realize this.
  • You give me a piggy back ride (or ride home) after I got out of a brutal fight and can barely stand.
  • I brought my new kitten to school hold her please while I kick this guys ass.
  • Punks can get scared of thunder storms too

sassyfuckingsterek:

  • 'I totally wasn’t breaking into your apartment I locked myself out of mine and I’m directly above yours so I picked your lock and was gonna use the fire escape and climb in through my window’ AU
  • 'You’re new to the building so I have to tell you that I’m a registered sex offender but I was eighteen and they were seventeen and it was a really big misunderstanding please let me explain’ AU
  • 'Every night I go down to the lobby vending machines I smell the best cooking ever coming from your apartment and it’s 12 pm but I’m really hungry and the vending machines aren’t cutting it for me’ AU
  • 'You were dragged into my video game competition and I was beat for the first time in years I have to stalk you and beg you to play me until I can beat you’ AU
  • 'My next door neighbor asking my to check up on their apartment while the away and feed their animals I broke a vase and your my other neighbor please help me’ AU
  • 'I can’t pass stray animals so once a week you see me going into my apartment with a different animal before I find them a home and you decide you want one’ AU
  • 'Everyday I hear you curse at your computer next door lucky I can help you so I barge in and decide to put and end to this but I also see all the porn you watch’ AU
  • 'You see me coming out of my apartment dressed as the opposite gender for a party and get confused the next day when I’m not dressed up and still attractive’ AU

toxixpumpkin:

  • We both attend a boarding school and we aren’t supposed to be out this late. I thought I heard a teacher. Quick hide in this small space with me!
  • I tried to sneak out using my window and now I’m hanging from it can you help me?
  • I was skipping class to sleep in an empty class room and you caught me but the door closed behind you and now we’re trapped inside cause the inside lock is broken.
  • Teacher left us alone in detention wanna make out??
  • I may have brought my pet to school by accident and it may have escaped you have to help me.
  • You just caught me stealing my phone back from the teachers desk and it turns out you were here to steal the lesson plans. Wow you’re a thief….
  • I just accidentally kicked a rock too hard and it broke that window and you saw it happen
  • I run a (technically illegal) snack shop in school and you’re the student council president who caught me
  • You accidentally broke the clay figure the boss keeps on their desk and some how I’m helping you fix it???
  • I accidentally stumbled upon your makeshift hideout on school grounds let me nap here and I won’t say a word.
  • I may or may not be the one who set off those fireworks but on the off chance that I was what would I have to do to get out of trouble???
  • You know that I’m the one who set the teachers ringtone to boys moaning and called them during class now you’re using this against me.
  • Someone has been leaving post it notes with hyper realistic dicks drawn on them around the school and as Student Council President I have to find out who it is

tokiosunset:

  • “I broke your nose at a mosh pit” AU
  • “I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” AU
  • “You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” AU
  • “You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend” AU
  • “You laughed in a restaurant but you have an ugly laugh and I thought you were choking, so I spent the last three minutes awkwardly humping you while performing the Heimlich maneuver” AU
  • “We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” AU
  • “I get really sick on roller-coasters and you had the misfortune of sitting in front of me so, uh… sorry…” AU
  • “You’re the bastard who keeps parking right in front of my house so I retaliated by keying your car and you caught me” AU
  • “I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I’m going to stuff it down your throat” AU
  • “You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” AU
  • “My new dealer has friended me on Facebook and I’m unsure of how to react to that” AU
  • “You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks” AU
  • “This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and you’re deathly afraid of flying” AU

ironinkpen:

  • “You’re a celebrity and I’m a paparazzo, sorry friend I have to take pictures of you to pay my rent next month” AU
  • “You’re a store clerk and oh shit I just spotted my ex please let me hide behind your desk-thing” AU
  • "I don’t know you but I need some place to stay for the night, my roommate’s getting some” AU
  • “I’m helping my niece’s girl scout troop sell cookies and hell no, fuck off soccer coach, we were here first” AU
  • "This has been a very bad week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food at the supermarket” AU
  • “You’ve locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so I’ll let you into mine” AU
  • “We’re neighbors who don’t really talk but your cat might have gotten my cat pregnant?? We must raise this little kitty family together” AU
  • “A toddler broke your nose and I may or may not have snapped my thumb during a very intense game of Mario Kart and now we’re both sitting next to each other in the hospital waiting room” AU

xaquaangelx:

  • we’re both third seventh wheels in our groups au
  • you’re an actor in a haunted house and i accidentally punched you in the face when you scared me au
  • i do stupid shit and you’re my doctor au
  • accidentally called your number while drunk asking for a ride and you actually came au
  • we both didn’t want to be at this party but look where we are au
  • our pets banged and now one of them is expecting guess i should know your name au
  • i live in your old house and i keep getting your mail au
  • we’re both stuck in this airport cause of a storm and i’m afraid of thunder au
  • you’re a reaper escorting me to the afterlife and the road there is surprisingly long au
  • you saved me from a fire au
  • i work at the lost and found and does this thing seriously belong to you au
  • we’re both lost in the woods au
  • meeting in a nude spa au
  • i’m a florist and you keep buying flowers from me and what do you mean it was my fault we didn’t get together earlier you were buying flowers i assumed you had a lover au
  • you’re an immortal who keeps making history and guess what my best subject is au
  • we’re on the debates team yet we can’t argue about something without yelling au
  • how the hell do i keep managing to get you as my cab driver au
  • you’re a brass player why do you live in an apartment building au
  • you’re my friend/doctor and you’re the one who tells me i’m terminal au

susie1x1:

  • “we live in different countries and got paired up as pen pals for a project for school” au
  • “i crashed your family member’s wedding for the free food but hi there” au
  • “i’m a techie, you’re the lead actor in a show” au
  • “the person running the rollercoaster is really hot” au
  • “sorry that text was meant for someone else but hi there who are you” au
  • “we’re in a breakfast club style all day detention” au
  • “i don’t want to go alone to my ex’s wedding and our mutual friend said you’re free that night” au
  • “i signed up for a dating website to get my mom off my back” au
  • “we’re in the same rocky horror troupe” au
  • “hey asshole quit kicking the back of my seat it’s a 10 hour flight” au
  • “your dad is my least favorite teacher” au
  • “my significant other cheated on me with you, wanna team up to destroy them?” au
  • “i’ve been coming to this club for years but you’re the best performer i’ve ever seen” au
  • “i’m rich and i’m not supposed to talk to servants but the person that scrubs my floor is really cute” au
  • “i was hitchhiking and you picked me up and WHOOPS YOU’RE A -FAMOUS ROCKSTAR” au
  • “we met on a reality show” au
  • “my family owns the hotel your family is staying in” au
  • “someone tripped me in the hallway and you’re the only one that helped me up” au
  • “my parents kicked me out and you’re the only person that bothered to ask the crying, obviously lost kid with a suitcase if something was the matter” au
  • “you accidentally left your ID in a library book” au
  • “i had a one night stand the night before i started a college class and WHOOPS I ACCIDENTALLY BANGED THE PROFESSOR” au
  • “i’m on a school trip to another country and one of the locals is seriously hot” au
  • “i’ve never met you before but i went to a huge party at your house with my significant other - who then proceeded to dump me” au
  • “you’re the cutest waiter at my favorite restaurant” au
  • “we didn’t come to this anime convention together but we dressed up as characters that are a couple in the show and people keep assuming we’re together and asking us to pose for pictures so hi there what’s your name” au
  • “you rescued me from the creepy person that was hitting on me in the bar” au

notallbees:

  • I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  • One of us thinks this is a date but the other thinks it’s an informal job interview
  • I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  • We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  • We took each other’s underwear from the laundromat by mistake
  • I got drunk and sent a sexy naked pic to my ex but I sent it to you instead by mistake
  • We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  • I’m calling to cancel our date because I’m actually in the ER right now, sorry. …I mean, sure, I guess you can come down here, but… okay…
  • We had sex at the office party but we’re both workaholics so we don’t normally date
  • We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  • You bought me at a charity auction and you’re probably a serial killer
  • You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
  • Your appointment with a sexual therapist was right after mine and we got talking in the waiting room
  • We’re on a blind date, but wait a moment… aren’t you that guy who gave me a hand job at a Renaissance Faire a year ago?… what do you MEAN “WHICH ONE”?
  • We both picked the same power ballad at karaoke so we sang a duet
  • We’re both trying to take advantage of the unlimited appetizers deal on separate dates at TGI Fridays and I got the mozzarella sticks and I’m on my sixth plate and I want to die, can I PLEASE swap you for some of your wings?

waitineedaname:

  • 'so you’re the asshole that took my username’ AU
  • 'your URL is really similar to my friend’s and I accidentally messaged you’ AU
  • 'whoops that was supposed to be on anon’ AU
  • 'my self-esteem is shit right now and I noticed you just went through my entire face tag, tell me I’m pretty’ AU
  • 'you were like my first follower, why are you still here’ AU
  • 'I just recognized you from across the store and I don’t know what to do, my training didn’t prepare me for this’ AU
  • 'I think half of my anons are from the same person and I’m trying to track you down’ AU
  • 'we both ship the same obscure pairing, let’s get married right now but first let’s share headcanons’ AU
  • 'I was looking at my new followers and I think you were my crush that moved away in fourth grade’ AU

That’s all I’ve got for now. As I said, if any of these are yours, and you want them removed, just let me know.

There's More to a Wedding [KiKasa]

“Do you want me to come as a guy or a girl?”

Kasamatsu should have known hiring Kise Ryouta as his date for the wedding was a terrible idea the moment Kise asked that question. Flustered, Yukio couldn’t speak up for a moment, opening and closing his mouth around words that just wouldn’t come out. What kind of person even asked such questions?! Well, probably the kind who could be hired off of craigslist as a wedding date, and the person willing to hire that someone shouldn’t really be judging…

“Do I want what?” he stammered finally.

Kise giggled. “Do you want-”

“No, no, I heard you,” interrupted Kasamatasu, rubbing his forehead. “It’s just a weird question to ask. If I wanted a female partner I would have just called a girl.”

“Just keeping your options open, Kasamatsu-san~” sing-songed Kise, making Yukio frown involuntarily.

He felt like he should stress that he didn’t want Kise showing up as a girl under any circumstances, because that would be just awkward, although he would have probably appreciated the offer a few years ago. Currently, his family’s issue wasn’t with him being gay, but with him being a single gay, so he just couldn’t show up at another wedding alone. It was a matter of pride, obviously, because Kasamatsu wasn’t a type of guy to enjoy hiring people to pretend to be his dates. Ninety percent of the reason he was willing to go with a flashy guy like Kise was that he didn’t want any money, because he just liked going to weddings, and Yukio didn’t feel like he was hiring an escort that way.

The remaining ten percent was that Kise was criminally hot, judging by the pictures, so that was an added bonus of rubbing it in his family member’s faces.

Keep reading

Fanfic Friday #10

Check the Personals by mikasaessukasa
RWBY - Monochrome/Checkmating (Weiss/Blake) - Rated T

Weiss hires a girl off Craigslist to be her date for her sister’s wedding.

3

Lmao I’m. So glad I’m not the only one with this…I’m so sick of hearing you guys bitch about my watermarks!!! Non stop bitching “Miia your pics don’t look the same..it takes away the quality of the photo…blah blah fuckin suck dick!!! I’m sick of being on escort sites Craigslist dating sites I’m not that desperate! I’m not a escort!!! It’s so annoying it’s driving me nuts! And don’t give me that "you chose this life..” Bullshit So played out!

sapphicjaneausten  asked:

“i need a date so i’m hiring you off criags list, please don’t be a serial killer” nux/capable au

Capable was a strong, independent woman who didn’t need no man. She was everything her name promised: Capable.

But she would be damned if she showed up to her high school reunion without a date.

She knew that having a partner wasn’t necessarily a sign of success–she knew plenty of wildly successful people who were also single. But she didn’t want her former classmates to say she was a ball-busting career woman or something. She wanted to have it all.

None of her friends were willing to pose as her date, though. She didn’t blame them–going to someone else’s high school reunion as their fake partner sounded like a drag. 

“You don’t have to have a date, you know,” Splendid tried to console her.

Capable scowled. “Easy enough for the pregnant woman to say. People will take one look at you and know you’re appealing enough to have had been fucked within the last year.”

“I used a sperm donor.”

“They don’t have to know that.”

Getting desperate, she turned to craigslist.

I need a date for my ten year high school reunion. Looking for anyone of any gender who is at least fairly attractive and good conversationalist. Will compensate in cash and alcohol of choosing. No sex. Serious inquiries only.

She received a stream of emails, mostly from perverts. With the reunion only a day away, she settled on a guy around her age who was at least semi-attractive and didn’t seem like a jerk. He was a mechanic, but she decided to pretend he was a CEO and fixed cars as a leisurely hobby.

The day of the reunion arrived. Capable pulled up in front of the guy’s house and took a deep breath. It would be okay. It would be fine. She got out of the car and knocked on the door.

He was cuter in real life than in his picture. “Hi,” he said in a pleasant, albeit eager, voice. “I’m Nux. You must be Capable.”

“Yes,” she agreed, shaking his hand. “So, I think I covered everything in my email…”

“I am only allowed to touch designated areas of your body; any straying from those areas will result in the loss of one or both testicles,” Nux said pleasantly. “I am under no circumstances allowed to talk to one Karen Hapscomb, but I am encouraged to remind Dylan Ryder about your skills in the bedroom and how they have improved markedly since that time under the bleachers in junior year, but not in those words, of course. You are a liberated career woman who is very happy with her work but also finds the time to be pampered by her loving and devoted boyfriend; we met during a benefit gala, which I was invited to because I am a successful CEO of an automotive production company, and I like to fix up old cars as my hobby. And I want to run this by you, but I think it would really sell the story if last month we went on holiday to Bora-Bora.”

Capable blinked at him. “Well, you certainly deliver.”

“What kind of craigslist boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” he asked, grinning. “So, shall we get going? We want to get there in time to make Dylan Ryder regret ever ditching you for that cheerleader–but if it’s just between you and me, I know guys like Dylan, and he probably has a beer gut by now.”

Capable liked this Nux. She decided she may have to bring him to the next reunion.

HO HO HO!!! FANFICTION "AU"s!!!

Here you go!! 130 AUs for all you fanfic writers. Go nuts, show nuts, do whatever.

These are NOT mine. I repeat: These are not mine. They have been carefully compiled from multiple posts from all around Tumblr.

FANFICTION AUs:

1. Accidentally fell asleep on each other on the train au
2. Always in front of me in line for the coffee shop with a ridiculous order that takes forever to make au
3. “I moved into the appartment next door and it’s 100% haunted please let me crash here for the night” au
4. “I may or may not have robbed a bank just now and please help me get away i’ll repay you in sexual favours and also cash” au
5. Neighbour who’s way too enthuisiastic about LOTR soundtracks au
6. That one asshole costumer that always comes in 5 minutes before the store is about to close au
7. “I don’t know you but you were at that party last night and long story short I now have your name tatooed on my ass” au
8. “Could you please move your bed a little further from the wall I’m trying to work” au
9. “My friends dared me to go on this rollercoaster but now that we’re at the top it looks way too scary and hellO hot person sitting next to me (careful i might puke)” au
10. “I was trying to take a sneeky picture of you because i told my friend about the hot guy on the train and she wanted to see but you totally noticed and yeah this is awkward” au
11. “That is a hideous shirt you should totally just take it off” au
12. “That asshole stole my song at karaoke night” au
13. Met on the fireescape outside the appartment for smokes au
14. Ice hockey rival teams au
15. Hot lifeguard au
16. ‘we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we’re standing in the hallway avoiding each other’ AU
17. 'I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ AU
18. ’ holy shit i’m in the wrong car’ AU
19. 'My pet really hates your pet’ AU
20. ’ Customer that knows wayyyy more than the brand new employee please help me out’ AU
21. 'I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD” AU
22. 'dude i know we don’t know each other but my swim trunks came off when i jumped in the water can you grab them for me’ AU
23. ”it’s 2am and i’m drunk and i need some goddamn french fries right now so open your fucking door’ AU
24. SWIM TEAM AU
25. 'got mistaken for a celebrity by the celebrity’s biggest fan’ AU
26. 'this person just fell asleep on me in the subway but they’re cute so whatever’ AU
27. 'sorry i set the fire alarm in our building off again for the forty-eighth time i was trying to cook’ AU
28. 'so YOU’RE the douchebag who keeps mowing their lawn while i’m trying to sleep’ AU
29. 'I know nothing about camping will you help me i think i heard a bear’ au
30. WINDOW WASHER AU
31. 'we’re literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something’ AU
32. 'I hired you off craigslist to be my date for a wedding’ AU
33. ’I’m a werewolf but I’m embarrassed to tell you because my wolf form is more like a chihuahua’ AU
34. you’re the drummer for my brothers band and i find you really hot AU
35. lost in a random small town and you show me around AU
36. accidentally broke into your apartment because i was drunk AU
37. i found your dog wondering the streets so i decided to come and return him AU
38. i audition to model in your music video and we end up hitting it off AU
39. we get seated next to each other on a delayed flight AU
40. co-stars whose characters date each other on the show AU
41. you’re a hot surfer and i’m an awkward person working at an ice cream stand on the beach AU
42. accidentally found and read your diary AU
43. i didn’t know you were my teacher AU
44. woke up with amnesia AU
45. you’re a jock and i’m into theater AU
46. secretly have to date so our parents don’t find out AU
47. fame has gotten to your head so you were sent off to live with country relatives AU
48. pretending to date you because someone was obnoxiously hitting on you AU
49. i’m in a lame band and you’re the towns bad boy/girl AU
50. we fucked once and somehow keep bumping into each other AU
51. has to share a cab because there’s a thunderstorm ahead (and then gets stuck in ridiculous NY/LA traffic) AU
52. you’re a ghost and i’m a human and somehow we fall in love with each other AU
53. we went on a long road trip and got into a car crash and we’re the only two who survived AU
54. we go to the same coffee shop every evening to do homework but we never speak to each other until today AU
55. end up getting married in vegas although we’re total strangers AU
56. you apply to be my roommate AU
57. we met in the summer and now i go to your school but you act like a typical jerk AU
58. i’m visiting your country for vacation and you show me around AU
59. detention on a saturday afternoon AU
60. nothing but a fragment of ones imagination AU (as in a coma & they imagine each other being real)
61. we rob places together as a couple and get away with it AU
62. all boys/girls boarding school AU
63. best friends when we were young and then you moved and now we meet again at college AU
64. arranged marriage AU
65. we met at a really strict summer camp and ended up breaking all the rules together one by one AU
66. asylum AU
67. war AU
68. we both have cancer and go to the same support group AU
69. we decide to play a game of chicken together which leads to one thing or another AU
70. we’re both in conservative relationships so we decide to sneak off and be each others friends with benefits AU
71. we’re best friends and we take each others virginity’s AU
72. we dated when we were younger and now we’re step siblings AU
73. our friends put us on a blind date AU
74. i’m only your friend because we smoke weed and get high together AU
75. “we wore matching halloween costumes to this party” au
76. “we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled” au
77. “tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck can u help me out” au
78. “we’re the only ones on campus who didn’t go home for christmas” au
79. “we both got in separate bar fights downtown and now we’re waiting in the ER comparing stories” au
80. “accidentally fell in your lap while standing on this crowded bus” au
81. “can u help me sneak my cat into my dorm” au
82. “accidentally got assigned the same library study room so I guess we’ll have to share for the semester” au
83. “It’s raining and u forgot your umbrella so come over and stand under mine while we wait for the bus” au
84. “I rented the apartment above your flower shop and in the last two months you’ve gotten a new flower I’m allergic to so I keep buying bouquets until I can figure out which kind it is” au
85.  I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
86.  vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room
87.  my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
88. it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
89.  hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
90. hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
91.  I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity
92. all our friends are drunk and someone needs to give them a ride
93. it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
94. we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
95. humans vs zombies
96. we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
97. GROUP PROJECT
98. Both of us turned ap at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where it’s meant to be
99. Waiting outside for pizza to be delivered and both of ours are super late
100. You keep parking in the space outside my student house you asshole
101. we live in halls opposite to each other and I keep seeing you change clothes
102. You’re theonly other person in the room when I break the printer and I’m panicking
103. Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
104. This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
105. I found your USB drive still in the computer
106. I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
107. You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
108. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
109. We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
110. You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf
111. Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
112. You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
113. What are you doing at this table at the career fair
114. Waiting for office hours
115. I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
116. Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
117. You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
118. my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
119. we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
120. Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
121. Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash
122. Your school mailbox is right next to mine
123. I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
124. My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire
125. You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
126. My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
127. we’re both on althetic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
128. You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance
129. What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?
130. We alternate seats every day and keep putting cute messages on the desk for the other to read.

People who need to do something with these, because they’re awesome:

captaingally kirayukimuras amyskhaleesi allisonargend crystalrreed chirsargent stormbornvalkyrie stilesstilinskidaily stilinskiwhittemores sterek lydiamartindaily lydiaastiliinski lydshales lydiamakespictures lydia-martin twerkingstilinski screaming-arrows karmy-stalia kiralectric shuckfaceparadise shuckin-newt newtalby teen-wolf teen-wolf-obsessed teenwolf-diaries shuckfaced-and-insatiable scorchtrialled giivesyouhale vampmccall blackcatlydia queenhyllla truealqha tiny-book-nerd stabbedhimfiftyfuckingtimes kneelbeforememortalpeasant soshell311 king-and-queen-of-hell steruk hales-emissary halekingsourwolf halestilinskis maliatale maliathale malia-mcstilinski allisonargent