“Ihave exactly one life. And for reasons I myself don’t really understand, I now believe that life will not be fulfilled unless I am standing at the bottom of the world’s deepest pit with you two perverts. And this beautiful mom-to-be. So, start the car. We’re going to the fucking pit.”
Dear Jordana. Thank you for letting me explore your perfect body. I could drink your blood, you are the only person that I would allow to be shrunken down to a microscopic size and swim inside me in a tiny submersible machine. We have lost our virginity but it wasn’t like losing anything. You are too good for me, you are too good for anyone. Sincerely, Oliver.
“My mother is worried that I have mental problems. I found a book about teenage paranoid delusions during a routine search of my parents’ bedroom. After that, I started slipping choice phrases into our conversation.”