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The Fundamentals of Caring (2016)

I have exactly one life. And for reasons I myself don’t really understand, I now believe that life will not be fulfilled unless I am standing at the bottom of the world’s deepest pit with you two perverts. And this beautiful mom-to-be. So, start the car. We’re going to the fucking pit.”


On New Year’s Eve, everyone from town goes to the beach. Chip said if a girl won’t get off with you on New Year’s Eve, you may as well cut it off. I’m starting to think we may grow apart. I don’t want a mystic ninja as a stepdad. I don’t want to be from a broken home like Chip’s, wearing tracksuit tops instead of coats and taking gateway drugs in shopping malls. 

I want my family back. I don’t want anything to change.


 Dear Jordana. Thank you for letting me explore your perfect body. I could drink your blood, you are the only person that I would allow to be shrunken down to a microscopic size and swim inside me in a tiny submersible machine. We have lost our virginity but it wasn’t like losing anything. You are too good for me, you are too good for anyone. Sincerely, Oliver.