Queen of Being Single! - Jikook crack!au

Description: Jungkook comes home to a drunk roommate screaming out song lyrics and declaring he’s an independent bitch. And that’s great and all, power to the singles, it’s just… Jimin’s boyfriend of two years might disagree.

Literally no angst, I promise you. It’s crackheady and then it’s soft and uwu.


“Jungkook, you have to come back home. Now.”

“What?” Jungkook whispered into his phone, a frown set on his eyebrows as he nervously glanced around the university library, all too aware of how much noise his phone had been making when it began to ring. He really needed to remember to put it on silent more.

“It’s Jimin. He’s upset.” Yoongi, a music producer who honestly still intimidated Jungkook a bit, sighed into the phone, before muttering something along the lines of okay Taehyung just- wait a minute, would you?

“Why, what happened?” Questioned Jungkook, trapping his phone between his ear and his shoulder so he could shove all his books back into his bag. He was meant to study for at least two more hours, as per his personal goal, but he wouldn’t be able to retain any information from the overpriced pages now.

“Taehyung and I had a bit of a disagreement-” Yoongles is a dick! Taehyung called from the background “-and he looked for comfort in Jimin. Jimin decided comfort meant wine.”

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have you ever thought how well lancelot suited his name ? seriously. he was a knight. so he jousted. a lot. with lances.

like, he literally lives up to every expectation. as in, if you read the legends, he does indeed lancelot.


Roxy groans when he walks into the meeting room and gives him the stink eye, which he totally doesn’t deserve. Sure his ‘good morning’ was somewhat on the chipper side, but it’s not so early in the morning that she would take it as personal affront as an usually late riser.

“I hate you so much Unwin. You shouldn’t even be up right now, much less happy to be alive.” She glares even harder at him and he rolls his eyes, sticking his tongue out as he takes place at the opposite side of the table.

“Come on now. I wasn’t that drunk last night.” Sure, he doesn’t remember much of said night besides laughing a lot and a pretty intense snogging session with Harry, but surely Harry would have told him if he had gone over the limit.

“You were flirting with Harry.”

“So what? He’s my husband.” Even two years later, he still gets a thrill everytime he says it.

Merlin snorts from the desk he’s sitting at arranging paperwork before their briefing, finally aknowledging their presence. “Lad, you asked him if he was single.”

That makes him lose his smile pretty quickly, even before Roxy continues. “And then you cried when he said you wasn’t.”

“Shut up!” It’s out before he can stop it, but it’s not like he has any doubts they are both telling the truth. That’s totally the kind of dumb thing he would do. “Fuck me.”

He’s the one groaning now and he hides his head in his hands, hoping the ground will swallow him whole. He jumps when he feels a hand press on his shoulder, but calms down as soon as he recognizes Harry. His hopes that he missed the whole conversation are crushed pretty quickly when he sees the little smile he’s sporting.

“Come now darling. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I found the whole affair rather… Flattering if I’m being honest.”

And indeed, Harry seems rather smug, but for some reason, it breaks Eggsy’s heart. Or no, he knows the exact reason and he feels worst because that means he’s being a terrible husband.

“Alright, that’s it. I’m taking you on a date tonight babe. And every night I’m not away on a mission.”

Harry seems shocked, but before he can step away Eggsy grabs the hand that is still resting on his shoulder, rubbing at the band adorning his ring finger. “Dear boy, I assure you it’s not necessary. I wasn’t embarassed or-”

“No, but you should have been! Damn, Harry, I’m so gone on you, that of course I would hit on you when I’m blackout drunk. I couldn’t hit on anyone else. And as my husband you should know it and be exasperated because I am a dumbass who somehow forgot that he’s done one good thing in his life and that’s putting a ring on it.” Technically, Harry is the one who put a ring on it, but just because he beat Eggsy to proposing. “And if you don’t know it then it means I have failed you and I have to make it up to you.”

Harry seems torned between protesting some more and fucking him right there in front of their friends. He settles for an option somewhere in the middle, nodding slightly before bringing Eggsy’s hand to his mouth to kiss his knuckles, his eyes intense and his cheeks flushed red.

“Oh for fuck sake. Merlin, sorry for your meeting, but I’ll be barfing in the loo.” Eggsy thinks Merlin answers something, but quite frankly he doesn’t care. All that’s important right now is that suddenly they are alone and Harry seems rather two seconds away from ravishing him.

And Eggsy is never one to pass on a good ravishing.

Trick-or-Treat aka ‘Getting Free Candy’ (Michifer) HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

Pairing: Michael X Lucifer

Word count: 2.3K

Where Gabriel ‘convinces’ - read; forces - to get Michael & Lucifer to go Trick-or-Treating with him. They have to dress up as well to 'play the part’ and 'for the whole experience.’

“You want me to do what?!” Lucifer nearly shrieked, openly gawking at Gabriel who had yet another ridiculous idea. Lucifer did not feel like dealing with Gabriel and his Gabrielness today.

“I want you and Michael to take me and Jack trick-or-treating,” Gabriel repeater himself with a casual shrug.


“Because it’s Halloween and we want candy.”

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