crabbe goyle


brooklyn nine-nine + hogwarts houses (more)

harry potter rated by references to chocolate
  • philosopher's stone: First introduction into chocolate for Harry after a life with the Dursleys. Harry's first birthday cake was chocolate. + Hagrid gave him a chocolate/raspberry ice cream at Fortescue's. ALSO CHOCOLATE FROGS EVERYWHERE. They are big plot point too! a sturdy introduction: 8/10
  • chamber of secrets: Hermione savagely uses chocolate cake to trick Crabbe and Goyle. But, most importantly, if Dumbledore wasn't getting hot chocolate Colin Creevey would have probably died. proving again, chocolate saves lives. A steaming book for hot chocolate with 3 mentions. decent: 5/10
  • prisoner of azkaban: absolute PEAK. A whooping 27 references. A chocolate reference every 9 pages! Honeydukes is introduced!!! "Hundreds of different kinds of chocolate in neat rows", Slabs and bars galore! + chocolate is canonly used as a remedy for sadness!! chocolate queen™, remus Lupin helps the cause with his generous handing out of chocolate. Also, Pomfrey even provided a boulder sized block, complete with a hammer to collect chunks, ingenious. EVEN THE MINISTER FOR MAGIC insisted on Harry having chocolate! -5 points because Harry says he's sick of chocolate ate the end. Yet, still a solid 11/10
  • goblet of fire: The Fat Lady makes an excellent choice by getting drunk off chocolate liqueurs, a+ example of combining chocolate and alcohol. Ron got some chocolate from Hagrid for having a sneaky lil niffler... the BIGGEST disappointment is Molly Weasley sending Hermione a tiny chocolate egg instead of a dragon sized one like harry and ron because of a Rita Skeeter™ rumour she's with Krum and Harry?? like wtff a grown ass woman almost made a child cry because of their passive aggressive chocolate giving 1/10
  • order of the phoenix: Hermione gave two boxes of chocolate for Harry's birthday, but teenage angst™ harry throws them out. Poor form m8. Also, he has a weird dream about Cedric, Cho and chocolate frogs?? Why bro. Additionally, Harry and Ginny have a romantical moment as she gives him chocolate... Before Madam Pince screams "CHOCOLATE IN THE LIBRARY- OUT- OUT!" Classic choco madness! Overall, a wild ride on the chocolate train. maybe too wild. im going with a 6/10
  • half-blood prince: Romilda Vane tried to spike Harry through chocolate cauldrons -30 points... Furthermore, Tom Riddle kills Hepzibah Smith with hot cocoa and uses that death to make a horcrux. An absolute shocker! Chocolate used to make Voldemort immortal!!! and to murder!!! improper use of a sacred food: -282939399/10
  • deathly hallows: Wow, disappointing. One chocolate card wrapper on the floor, a chocolate card and french chocolate from the Delacours. 3 mentions in 197,651 words. Disgraceful. I reckon there's correlation between how happy a story is and the amount of chocolate references. conclusively: appalling 0.015/10
  • bonus fantastic beasts: "But I made 'em cocoa?". excellent start, promising: 7/10
Harry Potter Preference – Them Having a Crush on You Would Involve

- Trio Era-


- Draco would be super shy around you!

- You’d be really surprised when your friends tell you that they saw Draco standing up for you after he heard someone saying rude things about you

- He’s just extremely protective of you

- If you ever did something such as kiss Draco on the cheek, he’d act really cool about it but would continue talking about it to Crabbe and Goyle for days

- And they can’t exactly tell him that he’s being stupid about you because he’s rather defensive when it comes to you

- Catching him staring at you during meal times and when you smile at him, he gives you a small smile back and blushes furiously

- Draco’s really smart so if he ever sees you struggling with some work, he’d be at your side in 0.2 seconds offering to help you

- Whenever you’ve spoken to him in the morning, throughout the rest of the day he’d be really nice to everyone so you’d suddenly have people encouraging you to go out on a date with him because if he’s this nice when you just talk to him, imagine how great he’d be when you date him

- He’d probably be really cautious about bringing you up to his family. He knows his mum would fully approve of you but his dad, on the other hand, would be really iffy about it and Draco doesn’t want to push you away any further because of his family

- Draco would really want to buy you something to show that he likes you and so he finds out what your favourite sweets are. In the end, he can’t decide on just one treat to get you and ends up nearly buying out Honeydukes

- Would constantly deny having feelings for you even though it’s completely obvious and whenever someone asks him about it he’d go, “pfff, I do not fancy (Y/N)! Actually… why do you ask? Did she say something to you?”


- George has to hear about you ever 5 minutes and if you’re ever nearby he has to tell Fred how many times you looked their way

- Waving at you during a Quidditch match, whether you’re in the stands or if you’re playing in the same game as him, and completely missing the bludger he was meant to be hitting away from Harry (Harry does not appreciate this)

- But if Fred was ever worried that it was too cold and you didn’t have enough winter clothes, he would write to his mum asking her to send any of Ginny or his old winter sweaters that he would then send to you

- He’d think you wouldn’t know that the Owl that lands in your cereal one morning with sweaters that have the letters ‘F’ and ‘G’ on them were from him but you’d kind of have a hunch

- Plus Fred would’ve been watching your reaction the entire time and when you’d look at him, he would look away really quickly

- Being showered in compliments by him. He’d never let you go feeling as if you were ugly or not good enough. Even if you’re just studying for an exam, he’d be sitting next to you complimenting how good you look AND how smart you are! (He has to cover all grounds of compliments)

- The only time you’ve ever seen Fred angry was when you told him about some people that were being rude to you. He’d take it very personally and would promise you that he’d avenge you – this would probably be one of the dead giveaways to you that he fancies you

- He’d find any reason to spend time with you. You kind of wanna have some girly talk? Fine, braid his hair and bitch about the rude Slytherin girl. You’re struggling with potions? He’d become a potions master overnight to help you

- Trying to subtly see if you like him back.

               - “Hahahah (Y/N), Angelina keeps telling me that we should just hurry up and date. Ridiculous, isn’t it?”

               - “I mean, we would be really cute together. The fittest couple at Hogwarts, I reckon.”

               - “Fred, do you fancy me?” “WHAAAT? FANCY YOU? HAHAHA…. Why, do you fancy me? My answer is going to depend on what you say.”

- He’d plan out the best dates for the two of you. He wouldn’t specifically say they were dates but you’d kind of assume they were when you’d go to Hogsmeade and it was just the two of you (which rarely happened). He’d plan picnics, save up money so the two of you can have a decent meal together, go exploring together, ect. It would be lovely.


- George is the type of guy who doesn’t just fancy a girl right away. You’d start off as friends, maybe having a class or two together and one day he’d realise that he fancies you and when you go to talk to him like usual he’d be all sweaty and would be like, “is it hot in here? I think it’s hot. I must go”.

- He’s a tall guy and one of his ways of flirting with you is to tease your height

               - “George, I’m not even that short. You’re just a giant.”

               - But he would always give you piggy back rides, get things for you off high shelves and rest his chin on your head

- Fred would try to wingman him, even though George wouldn’t approve. And by wingman, you’d be sitting at your table during lunch and Fred would come sprinting in towards you, yelling incoherent things that was him attempting to tell you that George fancies you and George would full on tackle him in the middle of the Hall to stop him

- After long and stressful days, he’d really like going for walks with you around the lake or just around the grounds – he’d be a lot more insightful and wise than he’d let other people see.

- George would be a lot like Leslie Knope out of Parks and Rec in the way he’d have really weird anniversaries? Aside from your birthday, which would be the most important event of all, he’d celebrate the first day that you two met, the day you officially became ‘besties’, the day you fell down the moving stairs, ect

               - He’d also have gifts for you on those special days

- He’d blush really easily whenever you’re around. You’d find it really cute but Fred and Lee would probably make a game out of it to see who can give the best guess at how many times George will blush while you’re around

- Would make up facts and statistics to try and impress you. For example: “yeah, that constellation there is the… Mollyation constellation…”

- Sometimes you’d point out that you knew he was making it up but other times it was just so cute that he was trying his hardest to impress you

- George has 100% attempted bad pickup lines on you that Ginny promised him would work


- You would have Harry wrapped around your finger without even knowing. He would drop everything to help you and cancel any plans if it meant spending time with you. You probably wouldn’t realise this until you noticed that whenever other people attempted to make ‘chosen one’ jokes like you do to Harry that he’d get annoyed with them.

- All you’d have to do is walk into the same room as Harry and he’d instantly be taken out of his bad mood and be happy just because you’re there

- Everyone in the school would secretly be shipping the two of you. Professor McGonagall would have even paired the two of you up in class and people would Harry how his crush on you was going

- He’d really trust you – Hermione would tell him that it would probably not be a good idea to let you in on some of his secrets and Harry would be like “you’re right, Hermione” and then you’d sit down with them and he’d turn around and tell you exactly what Hermione just told him not to tell you

- Harry would make a fool out of himself in front of you 24/7. Water would come dribbling out of his mouth whenever you were talking, he’d trip over his own two feet and would take you with him – he’d really come to hate his luck

- He’d be super protective of you

- Even if someone just looks at you and their expression just doesn’t seem kind enough, Harry goes into full protective mode and his hand will remain on his wand until you’re safely away from this person. That person will remain on his watch list for a very long time.

- Will offer to help you with your problems even if he doesn’t really understand them. You’d have to tell him the story twice so he can see why that dude is an absolute prick and why Harry now has to hate him as well.

- Has asked Hermione as to how he should ‘win you over’ and when she suggested just asking you out on a date, he rolls his eyes because that’s obviously a stupid idea

- Harry has definitely accidentally done something like give you a forehead kiss or held your hand when he was nervous. He wouldn’t even realise what he’d done until hours after it had happened and would actually curl up into a ball.

- He hates talking about the Dursleys’ but if he notices that you need some cheering up, he’ll tell you the most embarrassing things that they’ve ever done just to see you smile


- Neville would either be extremely nervous around you or really confident around you – it would all just depend on how he was feeling that day

- He probably has a habit of spacing out when you’re talking because he’d get distracted by how pretty you are

- Neville doesn’t really have a very large self-esteem so when he realises he likes you, he accepts it and tries not to do too much about it but there are often times that he still finds himself desperately trying to impress you just in case he stands a bit of a chance

- So any time you compliment him in the slightest, he’s the happiest person in school for several days. He’ll even fall asleep with the biggest grin on his face.

- He’s a very nervous guy but he’d do anything for you. Neville would just absolutely adore you and will always be one of your biggest protectors even if he doubts he’d do a very good job at protecting you.

- He’d get you plants that remind him of you:

- Even if, to you, the plants kind of look kind of ugly, you’d know that Neville doesn’t think you’re ugly and what would remind him of you would be the plant’s ‘personality’

- He’d write you a note of the plant’s personality so you can keep it and just remember how great you are

- Neville has probably sent you little secret admirer notes – whether they’re just telling you how pretty you look that day or how great of a person you are, sometimes he just thinks that the notes will make your day better (and they of course do)

- Notices small details about you and uses this to strike up conversations with you

- Neville lets you do just about anything. If the two of you were studying by the lake, he’d read out to you what you need to know for your upcoming exam while you make him a flower crown which he will wear during dinner because you said so


- Probably starting out as friends and you having a habit of tracing his freckles and making patterns out of them when you’re bored but now that he has a crush on you, he gets goosebumps really easily and his whole face goes bright pink

- Even though Ron is technically only the second youngest, his family would treat him like the youngest and Ginny, Fred and George would constantly be teasing Ron about his crush and trying to bring it up around you in not so subtle ways

- “So, (Y/N), how do you feel about our ickle Ronnickins? He might not be the best looking but mum swears that it’s what’s on the inside that matters.”

- Ron would probably have no idea how to act around you now that he has a crush on you

- Sometimes he’ll come off as cold or he can come off being really cheesy. He really just has no idea what he’s doing but he just wants you to like him back so bad.

- One of his brothers have definitely sent him a book on ‘how to get girls’ and you have caught him reading it

- His voice can be very loud at times and you have accidentally heard him talking about how pretty you look

- Naturally, when you’ve asked him about it he’ll completely deny ever even speaking about you

- Ron would be your biggest fan. He’d always be encouraging you in whatever you do and helping you reach your goals because he knows you’re capable of great things and he’d just be so proud of you!

- He’d be pretty shy around you and wouldn’t be the best at complimenting you but if you ever have even a hint of self-doubt, he’s there yelling at you just how great you are and cannot believe you would ever doubt yourself because you’re so amazing

- Him apologising over and over again if he ever did something like accidentally hold your hand when he was nervous or just absentmindedly wrap his arm around you and then getting even more embarrassed when you tell him that it was fine and you kind of liked it


This is beautiful, I love every single house, they’re all too awesome

At some point in the Slytherin common room #10
  • Pansy: Oh did you hear about Malfoy and Potter?
  • Blaise: No what happened
  • Pansy: Take a guess ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • Blaise:
  • Blaise: How the fuck did you say that fucking face out loud
Draco's Bachelor Party. (Part 3)
  • Harry: Tell me again why we are bailing Goyle out of muggle prison?
  • Ron: Didn't he have it coming? I mean they SAID no touching the girls...
  • Draco: I told you... Man rules!!
  • Blaise: Man rules dictate that unless the guy murdered an immediate member of your family you must bail out a friend withing twelve hours.
  • Harry: which is why Crabbe is still locked up?
  • Draco: I mean he was the moron who tried to take a swing at Pansy. Not my fault she has a dungeon in her manor. I'm not sure it's intended purpose was for locking up threats but to each her own right?
Ask me - Draco x Reader Imagine

Requested by - No one

Pairing - Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Word count - 837

Four years ago you were sorted in the house of Slytherin. The cunning folk who strive with leadership and determination. It was a complete and utter shock to you considering you come from a pure-blood family who were all in either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. A few have been in Gryffindor but no one, to date, has been in Slytherin. A part from you of course. Your parents were proud nonetheless, they always knew you were unique and special.

Being a pure-blood family, your family was quite close to the Malfoys. Well your parents all knew each other and were good friends growing up. This led to you knowing Draco Malfoy, your current best friend of whom you have know for seven years. His family were all pure-blood Slytherins. If it weren’t for Draco, your time in Slytherin might’ve been lonely. You both were sitting in the common room, looking out into the depths of the lake that the Slytherin Dungeon was in. You both were buzzing from the announcement that the Yule Ball was going to be hosted at Hogwarts. You wanted to go with him, but you knew, well thought you knew, that he was going to go with someone else!

“You know, Pansy has a thing for you” you told him, your eyes were locked onto the mer-people who swam passed the window. He gave you a sideways glance and muttered, “Yeah I know, I’m not that oblivious y/n.” You snorted, which earned you a raised eyebrow from the blue-eyed boy. “And your snorting because?” he questioned you. “Well it’s obvious she likes you and we all know you like her! You guys flirt like crazy! I reckon you should ask her out. Wait! Ask her out to the Yule Ball! I mean like it be perfect for a first date” You said.

“I would but I was gonna ask-” Draco was cut off by Pansy, along with Crabbe, Goyle, Blaise and Theodore walked in. “Draco!” Pansy squealed in delight. You scrunched one eye close from the pitch of her voice. Next minute she’s on his lap telling him how her day was. You only rolled your eyes at her, of course you had feeling for him but you weren’t the one to dwell on things. Not only that, but Pansy wasn’t your favourite person in the world. The boys sat around you as Pansy pulled Draco away.

“If you didn’t always tell Draco to go for Pansy, you do realise you guys would be dating now? Or better yet, you might’ve have him the chance to ask you to the ball!” Blaise told you, obviously noticing your jealousy. You shrugged your shoulder, “He likes her, he wouldn’t flirt with her if he didn’t like her… well I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t. Besides, why would he ask me if he could take the girl he likes” you uttered, making sure the three boys behind you two didn’t hear your conversation. Blaise Zabini is your second best friend, you’ve known him since you both started at Hogwarts. A part from Draco, he was the one you trusted. Blaise knew of your pathetic crush you had on Draco Malfoy.

You have to admit; you never know why you tell Draco to go for her. She is Pansy Parkinson; she’s cruel and abuses her popularity. Although, you knew Draco was like her. It hurts seeing him bullying people when you know the real him. The one who does baking every holiday, and the guy who reads you a book when you’re both inexplicably bored. You can’t say you were not like them. You did tease people but never to the point of destroying someone’s confidence. You do have Hufflepuff blood running through your veins, you were (at times) immensely kind.

You heard the cackle of Pansy’s laugh as she returned back with Draco. Your eyes averted toward them. “Y/N! Why looking so glum, plum?” Pansy giggles, clearly proud of herself. You rolled your eyes and responded with, “I’ve been counting how many of these ugly sea-creatures look like you, I needed a piece of paper to write down how many, that’s what’s made me so glum, hon.” Draco bursted out into laughter. Pansy’s face was red with anger, but she let out a laugh like it didn’t affect her.

“Anyway, the Yule Ball is coming soon! Draco have you got a date?” She quizzed him, looking at him with a hopeful gleam. “No but I-” he was once again cut off by Pansy when she squealed. “Great! We can go together!” She cheered. Draco snorted and continued what he was saying, “I was going to say. No I don’t have a date, however! I am asking someone,” he said. Your perked up, looking at the two. Draco whirled around to you and grabbed your hand.” I was going to ask my best friend to accompany me” He told Pansy, yet questioning you at the same time. You smirked and nodded.

Maybe you should listen to Blaise more often.

A/N: Here is my first imagine that hasn’t been requested! I think it got sloppier toward the end, nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoyed! Send in requests if you would like to see anything you personally would like to!

  • Rodolphus: You’ve all been given a specific role and a code name. Bella, you’re the dagger. Rabastan, the hammer. Regulus, the hall monitor.
  • Regulus: Yeah, suck it!
  • Rodolphus: Crabbe and Goyle, I’m just gonna call you your real names so you don’t get confused.
  • Crabbe: Smart.
  • Goyle: What?