Being born a woman is my awful tragedy…Yes, my consuming desire is to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, barroom regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording—all this is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yes, God, I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night.
The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, written at the age of nineteen
I felt this, more strongly growing up, all the way into my teens. And then, later on that kind of lack of freedom and voice kinda silenced itself, gave way to acceptance. But then I read this, and it reminded me of all those times I felt like this.