For @yawpkatsi….thank you for drawing Bucky Barnes with a service
dog…As someone who has had a service dog, (my doggo is now retired
and is currently asleep at my feet.) I love it more than words could
ever describe. Thank you so so much. In an effort to show my
appreciation, here is a little thing.
had been a good day. Up until the point when his brain decided to
stop being a properly functioning brain and instead try an impression
of fried and scrambled eggs.
and Steve had gotten breakfast at a little diner that was nice and
quiet, Steve made sure that Bucky got a corner seat so he could watch
the room. FUBAR had laid underneath the table, his head resting
heavily on Bucky’s feet. Bucky had made sure to ask their waiter for
a couple extra pieces of sausage that he put into a doggy bag so that
he could give them to FUBAR once they were home and he was “off
speaking, FUBAR was always on duty in some form or manner. His
training meant that he had to be ready to help Bucky at any time.
Even in the middle of the night, like after Bucky had had a bad
nightmare. That didn’t mean he didn’t get to be a regular dog and get
to enjoy regular dog things, it just meant that people would askance
at Bucky if he started to feed his service dog table scraps while
they were in a restaurant.
breakfast they’d gone on a long walk and then Bucky had spent a
little while sparring with Natasha, whenever they were able to spar
together it automatically became a good day in Bucky’s book. Then he
and Sam had gone for coffee at a tiny little cafe that Sam loved.
Bucky was fine with cheap bitter black coffee that resembled tar more
than something that was supposed be consumed by human beings. But he
had to admit that the caramel, Irish cream and white chocolate
monstrosity that Sam had gotten was really nice. Especially because
he got to tease Sam about the whip cream on his nose.
laughed, and moved to swipe Bucky’s handkerchief out of his pocket
when FUBAR emerged from under the table and placed a large paw on
Bucky’s lap, whining and nudging him gently with his nose.
Now?” Bucky asked, recognizing the trained signal that FUBAR used
to alert him when he was about to have a seizure. He felt a yawning
pit of icy fear open up inside his stomach at the familiar gesture
from the dog.
hated this moment so much, when he felt fine, but FUBAR was alerting
him to a seizure. Sometimes he hated knowing that he was about to
have a seizure even more than he hated actually having a seizure. And
he really, really hated having a seizure.
hated the loss of control and the way people would stare at him
afterwards. Speaking of people, his gaze darted around the little
coffee shop, body tensing when he noticed the few patrons at the
counter staring at him and FUBAR. He could hear them whispering about
the giant dog and how cute he was but he wanted them to go away. His
head was starting to spin and he was feeling a bit nauseous and he
just wanted to be left alone for the embarrassing thing he knew his
body was about to go through.
hey, Bucky, look at me alright?” Bucky wrenched his gaze away from
the teenagers when FUBAR nudged him with a cold nose again. “Why
don’t we go to the bathroom, alright? You can have some privacy in
there.” Sam suggested.
gaze flicked towards the counter again, when he saw who was working
the register he let out a sigh of relief.
can go to the employees lounge. Dylan’s working today so it should be
okay. She knows about my seizures, she has a deaf and epileptic
little sister.” Bucky said nodding towards the back of the employee
who happened to glance over. Bucky raised a hand and quickly signed
that he wasn’t feeling well, she nodded and signed back that Bucky
should go lay down.
if you’re sure.” Sam said, noticing the exchange and rising to his
feet, watching closely as Bucky did the same, his hand placed behind
FUBAR’s shoulders for balance as he stood.
they try and keep the bathroom floors clean but I still don’t want to
do this in a bathroom. Gross.” He muttered as they walked through
the door, the employees lounge was pretty cramped, but it was
brightly lit and the floor was thickly carpeted. There was a couch
with thick cushions, as well as a small table that was already pushed
off to one side of the room, so it was small but almost in a cozy
sort of way.
did good buddy. Such a good boy.” Bucky whispered to FUBAR as he
laid himself down on the floor, the ovcharka positioned himself so
that he was laying curled protectively around Bucky’s head.
got anything other than your psychic puppy there to say what’s going
he ain’t psychic and you know it. It’s like neurochemistry or
something. I don’t know my scent changes, I think. And yeah my
tongue feels weird.” Bucky said sticking his tongue out of his
mouth and scraping it against his teeth in an effort to dispel the
one of Bucky’s more familiar auras, Sam double checked that the area
was clear of anything that he might hit if this turned out to be a
bad seizure. Then he grabbed a cushion off the couch and moved to put
it under Bucky’s head, only to realize that FUBAR had already taken
up the job of being a cushion for Bucky.
you’re doing great buddy. You’re in a safe place.” Sam murmured
when he noticed Bucky looking around confused, he startled at Sam’s
voice and started moving as if he was going to sit up, only to be
stopped by FUBAR laying his head down on his shoulder and pinning him
to the floor. “Me and FUBAR will look after you. You just relax
alright. We gotcha.”
eyes started to flutter open and closed rapidly and Sam gently rubbed
a hand up and down his arm, calling his name softly. When Bucky
didn’t respond, Sam took this to mean that the seizure had started,
so he glanced at his watch and noted the time so he could keep track
of how long the seizure lasted. FUBAR had medications that they could
use to help stop a seizure in a small pocked of his vest, but they
were only to be used if a seizure lasted more than five minutes.
After that, the medicine would have to administered and an ambulance
would have to be called.
head jerked back and his throat spasmed, making several painful
sounding clicks. His right arm was practically vibrating with how
hard it was shaking and every muscle seemed to be pulled tight, his
back arching off the floor.
licked Bucky’s face and mouth through the whole seizure, whining
softly because his handler was hurt and there wasn’t any way that he
could help him.
knew that FUBAR hated it when Bucky had a seizure more than any of
the other things that happened to him because it was the one time
that the dog really couldn’t do much. If Bucky was having trouble
talking, FUBAR knew over fifty different hand signals. If Bucky had a
panic attack or was in the middle of a flashback, FUBAR was able to
help him get to a safe place and calm down. Before a seizure he could
lead him somewhere safe and make sure he didn’t hurt himself or
others if he got confused. He could even help Bucky after a seizure,
but during one, the only thing he could do was cushion Bucky’s head
and it seemed that in the dogs opinion this was not nearly enough to
be able to help.
continued to talk to Bucky gently reassuring him that he and FUBAR
were there and that they would keep him safe, all while keeping
careful track of the time as well as Buckys pallor and breathing.
minutes after the seizure started, Bucky relaxed with a long sigh and
went still. Sam waited a moment, carefully watching to make sure
that the seizure was over before he gently rolled Bucky into the
immediately after he’d gotten Bucky moved into what he hoped was a
comfortable position Bucky’s hand shot out and snagged Sam’s wrist,
squeezing hard enough to make him wince. FUBAR boofed, both happy to
see Bucky moving and also warning him not to try and attack Sam.
eyes flickered open briefly then slid closed, “FU-BAR?” He
murmured weakly, releasing Sam’s sleeve to try and clumsily wipe
drool off his cheek from where FUBAR had been licking him. The move
was made redundant when FUBAR licked him again, delighted to hear
Bucky saying his name he wiggled a little closer and then settled
down beside him with his head on Bucky’s side, sighing loudly.
your boy’s okay.” Sam said, the statement addressed to both of the
figures lying on the floor. “You just had a seizure James. So just
lay still for a little bit me and FUBAR will watch out for you.”
nodded and relaxed with a quiet sigh, burying his face in FUBAR’s fur
to the point where Sam worried about whether or not he could breathe
before he heard Bucky snore quietly.
that moment, Dylan opened the door, smiling nervously.
he okay?” She asked, keeping her voice soft so as not to disturb
he’s sleeping now. As seizures go, at least for him and the fact that
it was a tonic clonic, this was pretty mild.” Sam said smiling in
you like me to call a cab?”
that would be great.” Dylan noddded and slipped out of the room.
Sam waited until she poked her head back into the room before he even
tried to wake Bucky.
Bucky moaned shoving his face further into FUBAR’s fur.
if you get up, you can go home and get some sleep in a bed that’s
comfortable instead of sleeping on the floor.” Sam suggested. This
seemed to be the right thing to say because Bucky started struggling
to his feet. He wound up having to stand braced against FUBAR waiting
for a dizzy spell to pass for a couple minutes before they were able
to head out to the cab. On the ride home, Bucky dozed and FUBAR sat
on his lap and turned so he could pant into Sam’s face.
Sam muttered, trying to pull away from the caucasian ovcharka, which
was practically impossible with how much space he took up in the cab.
they finally pulled up the curb Sam practically flew out of the car
so he could get away from the dog’s breath.
James, get up we’re home.” Sam called as bent down to pay the
know.” Bucky said, from right behind him, causing him to startle.
do that!” Sam gasped, whirling around to glare at him.
what?” Bucky asked, yawning widely as he twined FUBAR’s leash
around his fingers.
mind. It’s not even worth it. Let’s get you inside.” Sam grumbled,
moving to open doors for the pair. Once they made it upstairs to
their apartment Bucky made a beeline for the bed, not even bothering
to greet Steve and Natasha who were hanging out in the kitchen, FUBAR
trailing along behind him.
is he okay?” Steve asked sotto voce.
he’s fine, probably really tired though so let him rest. He had a
seizure while we were out. Three minutes, tonic clonic, he came out
of it pretty fast though and didn’t lose control of his bladder
either. He did get a little confused for a second there and tried to
grab me but FUBAR got his attention. Hey, did you guys make cookies
while we were out?” Sam asked eyeing a tray of chocolate chip
cookies that were on a plate. Natasha snickered softly.
cookies? Sam you know Steve can’t cook to save his life, and none of
you appreciate my cooking skills. That job falls to you and Bucky. We
got these out of a package and we were going to sit down and watch a
movie and enjoy them but now…” She glanced at the bedroom. “Now
I think they can keep for little bit. We should go make sure he’s
all crept into the room and smiled down at Bucky and FUBAR who were
twined around each other in the middle of the bed. Bucky’s head was
resting on FUBAR’s side and FUBAR’s head was resting on Bucky’s side.
Steve muttered, kicking his shoes off and sliding into bed next to
Bucky. “Don’t know about you two, but a nap sounds great right
about now.” Sam and Natasha glanced at each other and shrugged
before they too sidled into the giant bed.
peeked through his lashes at the group around him and smiled.
they would eat cookies and watch a movie together. They would argue
about what pizza to get for supper, “Pineapple does not belong on
pizza!” Sam would grumble for the thousandth time, and they’d fight
over whose turn it was to wash the dishes “Not me!” Bucky would
declare, pressing a finger to his nose, the move quickly followed by
Sam and Nat, and when they finally settled into bed again for the
night, Bucky would think to himself, that it hadn’t been bad day,
even if his brain had turned to fried eggs there for a little bit.
He’d press his face a little deeper into FUBAR’s fur and decided that
it had actually been a pretty fantastic day.
for now, he closed his eyes and let the peace and the knowledge of
being surrounded by people who cared about him wash over him and lull
him into sleep.