cousin do you want to go bowling

The Fitting (Part 7)

(The sexuality of your relationship with Jungkook continues to get more intense while you both struggle a little on how to make things work.)

Warning: smut, cunnilingus, face-sitting, public sex, intercourse, explicit as always

With Jungkook working out of town for a couple of days, you were able to focus more on your own job without distraction.  Or at least with fewer distractions.  Before you both parted ways at your apartment, Jungkook told you teasingly that every time he got horny he would text you to let you know he was thinking of you.  You hadn’t been apart more than 30 minutes before you got the first text.

Thinking of you right now.

You had learned from almost getting caught the previous day that you needed to keep you phone on silent and to change Jungkook’s name to “Some Guy” in your contact list.  You really didn’t feel like you could trust Jungkook to tone it down in his texts, but you would do the best you could to keep it from being noticeable.

You spent most of the day focused on planning all the looks for the boys’ appearances in Thailand next week.  It was fun to finally have some limited control over the entire process from fashion to hair and makeup.  You had been so focused on your work that you didn’t even realize until you arrived home late that night that you hadn’t checked the messages on your phone all day.  When you finally looked, you saw messages from the blind date guy making suggestions for your second date.

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I Hate You Part 3

Originally posted by lullabyun

Request:Scenario where chanyeol find out that his girlfriend (he was going to propose) don’t want to have children. you choose if the end will be happy or sad. Thaaaaanks

Word Count: 4946

Note: It’s finally here! Thank you all for your patience! OML this took ages but I finally found the perfect ending. It’s been 3 months since I posted part 1, can you believe it! It feels like yesterday, well to me at least. Thank you for all supporting this blog even though I’ve been gone for a long time. I hope to be back writing again soon. Lot’s of love, and I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Genre: This one’s a weird one, I made it quite lighthearted and funny at the beginning and the very end but there’s still a lot of angst. 

Part 1 

Part 2

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Originally posted by yesiamarebelliousflower

Seeing Bailey stood outside a large glass window “come on Rylee, he is so beautiful” walking towards her, seeing my colleagues walk by me smiling. As I got closer to Bailey “look” she held on to my hand pulling me in closer to the window “look at him” she pointed at the window, seeing the rows of babies “come, let’s see him” Bailey dragged me along into the room, feeling ever so lost in this trance “oh my god, just look at him. Why are you not happy?” she looked at my face, no words came out from my mouth but a sob. Reaching into the crib “Rylee you can’t get rid of it, stop it” holding this child close to me turning around “congratulations baby” hearing my dad’ voice but I can’t even see him “Rylee! Hey!” hearing Chris’ voice, letting out a gasp as I woke up in a daze. Getting up from the bed looking around me in shock “you good?” Chris held my arms, it was a dream well a nightmare “yeah, just fine” looking at him “you were legit speaking to yourself, did you have a bad dream?” he asked, nodding my head “kind of, it’s fine” I am so confused about this dream, I have never dreamt of something like that ever.

I am still thinking about that dream, it felt so real too and that situation. Shaking my head picking up Chris’ boxers from the floor, first I was trying to get rid of a baby and Bailey was there, what kind of fucked up dream is that. Placing his boxers in the laundry basket, blowing out air still a little weirded out by it all. I have even woke up later than usual, to be honest Chris’ bed is so damn comfy but I like to wake up for Kyrie and I didn’t, clearly. Walking out of Chris’ room and thinking which stairs do I take, the left or right. This is why I don’t like it, I never know where the people are here. I think it’s the right, the right is the kitchen so I can eat and hopefully that is where they are. Making my way down the stairs, I do love his place it’s so big and nice. He hasn’t had anyone here, yet. It’s just pretty much been me, Kyrie and him but I am sure he said today his mom was coming, not sure.

Eating my cereal reading the messages on my Instagram, you know what. I have gained a following and Tom Ford follows me, like this shit is crazy. I posted some pictures of me in his stuff and tagged him in it and now look, I have a few famous people following me and a lot of Chris’ stupid friends. There is one friend that keeps on liking everything, that big black one which is a creep. Smiling at my cousin from Barbados commenting bitch on every picture of Chris and I, I miss her so much with her crazy self. Giggling at her latest comment about grandma meeting Chris, honestly she would probably take my man so I don’t trust her. Chris will understand where I get my attitude from, that is the woman herself “what you smiling at?” looking up from my phone “my cousin, she said that you need to meet grandma but I don’t think you can handle that. She would have you” Chris sat on the bar stool across me “I can take any woman, we need to go. You can show me Barbados, I have never been there” my eyes widened “you have been everywhere though?” I said confused “just not there, I don’t mind going on holiday with your family” I cooed “besides the brother’s, I will have to set that up for you” locking my phone.

“So, tell me” placing my bowl in the sink “what do you want for your birthday? And where is Kyrie?” I actually forgot about him “he’s in my games room, I fed him” he said “I can tell, the mess tells me a lot” turning around, Chris snorted laughing “well you wasn’t awake to eat my breakfast, it was so nice. I don’t want anything for my birthday, you’re more than enough for me. I love you” this is going to be difficult “seeing as your no help, I will have to help myself and figure this out” picking up my phone from the side “just be naked on my bed, birthday done?” he wishes “tell me about your dream? I was trying to figure out what you were saying but I couldn’t” sitting on the bar stool at the side of him “oh, it was stupid. Just a stupid dream, anyways I am thinking of taking a leave of absence at work. I am just going to take it unpaid, I have money” I am not about to tell Chris I had a dream about a baby “I support you in anything, you know I do” he always does bless him “we are getting a tiny visitor today, in the name of Royalty” Chris said “aww is she coming? Alone or…?” Chris pulled a face “with my mom, but she said she will leave her for a while with us. Just to see how that goes” I guess that is a good thing.

I have noticed something, since being here which has been a few days now. Chris’ scary monsters on his walls seem to be lightening up, he has drawn over them with not so scary things. He says he does what he feels and I can see it, he must be feeling very happy. Squinting my eyes, I swear I can see Lo from here “family, oh shit. It’s Kyrie” Kyrie ran out from the water “so good to see you with your grown self” Kyrie ran at him, I didn’t know he was about to be here. I am not going to say anything but why, why do they have to be here. Seeing that very fat guy come out too, I guess this is my que to go. I am not about sit out here with my legs out, Chris jogged towards me as I power walked away from him “I didn’t know they was going to come, believe me” he grabbed my arm to stop “it’s fine, you can be with your friends babe, I don’t have problem with that” he knows I do but I am not going to say it at all.

How weird is this, I have met Kim Kardashian and here I am watching her on the TV. Oh how life has changed so quickly for me, thanks to Chris that is “do you mind?” that fat guy said “sit where you like” seeing Lo behind him, oh how exciting. Let me take this off because I don’t want to miss a thing “you can still watch it you know” placing the remote at the side of me “it’s fine” Lo looks so awkward “what you doing with yourself?” I asked Lo, breaking the silence “he is staying at my crib now” I don’t know this guy’s name or I fail to remember “and you are?” I pointed “hood” he smiled but his smile seems to perverted, like he is not staring at me as a person but as a meal “right, Hood” looking back at the TV “you’re very beautiful! Lo is a stupid nigga, done gave away the girl he liked away” looking away from the TV pulling a face “excuse me?” what is he even talking about “will you shut up!” Lo spoke up “are you speaking on Lo’ crush on me?” I just openly said “aren’t you the same guy that is making up stories but you’re here in Chris’ home?” this is funny “he knows I would never do that to him, y’all happy so it’s whatever” he shrugged, I don’t trust him.

Hood licked his lips at me and I am disgusted “you really got Chris caught up, you must be bomb” I think I am going to leave, hearing Chris talking as he walked over “is everything good here?” I don’t want to tell him so I will stay quiet “yeah, just fine” seeing Chris with a guy, I think that is his manager “his other half” his manager smiled at me, there is so many boys here and then here is me “so if we can release the album that you are keeping away from us that will be good, I want to get this tour started up quickly. Your tickets sell out so it is a good thing, your clothing line is doing so well internationally. I think we need to visit the headquarters around there. I really just wanted to speak to you, record label wants you to stop releasing mixtapes and an album instead” I wonder why Chris is holding back on it “I am on it, I just wanted to rest and chill. You know” his manager chuckled “you done that for a while now, dodging the one thing they want” I guess Chris is about to be busy “if you get this out then we can put you through for a Grammy, we can do this” he patted his shoulder.

Chris sat back on the couch with me, placing his hand on my knee. I have noticed how his friends are so in his business, they know his next moves and I don’t think that is a good thing at all “what about your other half? Did you never tell her” Chris’ manager said, my ears perked up “oh nah, you can tell her” Chris said smiling “Dior was interested in you, they love how natural you look but Chris was supposed to speak to you about it” is this a joke “Dior want me? Oh stop it, that is lies” I laughed shaking my head “they being real but it’s too late, you about to model my Black Pyramid clothing instead” Chris pressed a kiss to my forehead “of course, I will do anything for you” which I would even though I cannot model.

Luckily Chris’ stupid friends left but Munchie is here “I have not seen you all day, what you been doing?” I said to Kyrie, he has been so busy around Chris’ house “you have a tan too” touching his hair “there is so many things to do, Chris let me help him draw. I painted outside which was so good!” seeing his excitement is cute “you having a good time then?” he nodded his head “I told you nigga, EJ is busy for you!” Munchie spat “why is your man so damn annoying? Like I told him once” she sat down “that is Chris for you” I said, Munchie pointed at Kyrie “he is about to be so handsome when he grows up” she said randomly “don’t tell him that, he is already thinking he can be Chris Brown” Kyrie is loving this “it’s true though, beauty runs in your family. Your brothers are a meal” I gagged “yeah right” hearing Joyce’ voice “my little trouble is here” looking behind me, let me get up because it’s rude just sitting here.

Walking over to Chris holding Royalty as she fought him “so nice to see you sweetie” she placed a bag on the floor, opening her arms to hug me “it is so nice to come here and not see all the boys around, so peaceful” squeezing Joyce a little “oh you missed them, I had to see them instead” I said moving back from her “who is this?” she pointed at Kyrie “this is my little brother Kyrie, say hi” waving him along “hello” he waved “this is Chris’ mom” Joyce cooed “he is handsome” why do they keep complimenting him like that, placing my hand behind Kyrie’ head and moving back “this is Chris’ daughter, Royalty” Chris placed her down “does that make you step mom?” he blurted out, my eyes widened at him “be quiet” I spat as Kyrie laughed “Royalty, don’t go near the pool!” Chris shouted, he needs to chase her because that is where she is going.

Seeing Chris walking back in with Royalty running ahead giggling, feeling a pair of arms wrap around my leg out of nowhere. Looking down at Royalty, she actually came to me “just because you go to Rylee don’t mean I won’t get you” Chris said, Joyce laughed “she must remember you, you’re not easy to forget” Joyce spoke, Royalty let my leg go and ran off towards the living area with Chris following her “I know Chris told me about him having her on his own, he said that you will be helping out. You honestly don’t need to do that, he seems passionate in doing this but I don’t want you to seem obliged to do it” Joyce said expressing her concerns “I understand but I want to support Chris in this, I just feel like he is misunderstood and just needs a little help. I am just going to support him in this, I don’t mind looking after her” Joyce stared at me in shock, she didn’t speak a word just stare “I just want him to be happy and it’s been getting to him, he should be allowed to look after her. Have her sleep over” I added “I am speechless, a girl that is so normal” she held on to my arm “I am used to the girls that said hi and that was it, the reason I don’t trust him is because he was ever ready. I don’t know, you must have triggered something. The girls were never welcoming in my son’s home, it was upsetting” that is so sad, what bitches.

Joyce paused “I will leave her with you both, I will come back tonight. Royalty is easy to look after, she is lively. She is a child version of Chris but Chris can usually release that energy from her by chasing her all day, she will like you. I mean she does already, she will want things like her nails done and be interested in you. Her mom is the same, she doesn’t know I am leaving her alone. She wasn’t pleased that she met you but I said it was once, she just needs feeding and a nap which is due soon. She will love you, I know it” smiling at Joyce “I need to ask you something, for Chris’ birthday. I have a plan but are you able to get Royalty to come here on his birthday in the morning?” if she can make that happen then the plan will be perfect “I can do that, she will have too” this will work out fine “thank you, I have an idea” I want to make this birthday special for him.

Sat with Munchie “you know you got my nigga under the spell, I ain’t ever seen him so quiet or for him having this home be like a home” seeing Chris with Royalty in his arms as he walked down “so Royalty comes here in a dress and you dress her as a mini Chris” I said laughing “this nigga always does it, it’s kind of cute because she is a mini Chris” I think Royalty looks tired “well forget the mother, I want my daughter clothed” Chris spat sitting down, Royalty looks a little sad “did you tell her off or something?” I think he has “a little, she was wanting to wear no clothes and I got annoyed with her. But we good now yeah?” he said to her, she ignored him “roro you ignore him, who is he to shout at the queen!” Munchie spat, Chris leaned his head down to kiss her but she hit his face away “aww you poor baby, did he shout at you?” I said, she nodded her head “you want to go to Rylee? It’s time for nap anyways” Chris said, I might as well accept this and accept that Kyrie is not wrong. I am probably step mom now “come here, I have pretty nails unlike your dad” patting my lap for her, Chris placed her down. She stared at me reluctant “you better go before daddy gets you baby! Quickly!” Munchie spat, Royalty soon ran away.

Wrapping my arms around Royalty, she sat on my lap all quiet “she is not screaming no more” Kyrie sat next to me “I think she is tired or should I say that Chris made her all tired from being so damn hyper” Royalty touched my nails and then looked up at me, looking down at her she smiled at me “we can do yours the same colour, but not right now. You tired” she let my nail go “come on Royalty, don’t sleep” Kyrie must be bored, Royalty slapped Kyrie’ face out of the way “can you not see? She is done with you men” Royalty moved in my lap to face me, she is very intrigued by everything. It’s cute, she touched my hair “you know who this is baby? It’s Rylee” Chris sat next to me “can’t even let his daughter have Rylee alone” Munchie said “lee!” Royalty pointed at me “see, you like her? This is daddy’ wife” eyeballing Chris, Munchie busted out laughing.

Originally posted by the6raisedme

Posting the picture of Royalty asleep and then locking my phone “Christopher” hearing Rylee shout me “coming” walking down the steps slowly, I love this. I love that I have my daughter and I have Rylee with me. I know I have so much riding on me to fuck up, my mom wasn’t happy but I know we good and I know I can be good “what’s up beautiful?” I wonder what she is cooking “I need some potatoes, can you please get some” I thought she would want something else “does this mean I have to go out and get some?” Rylee turned away from the fridge “please, you called me your wife, so please go” she is right, I did call her wife so I will “ok, you got me babe. I will take your brother with me, you will hear if Royalty wakes up. She probably will wake up soon just because she has slept for the most part in your arms, thank you baby for supporting me and what are you cooking?” it smells so nice “I haven’t even started, just a little something I learnt from Grandma. Chicken Curry and Roti and rice, you can decide” pressing a kiss to her lips “hmmm, ok I will go. I am hungry now” I didn’t want to leave the home at all “do not open the door to anybody, nobody should be coming anyways” I will lock them both in the house actually, I am leaving my heart here.

Seeing the excitement on Kyrie’ face, being in a Lamborghini “that is so cool Chris” he jumped up and down as I locked the door to my car “I have always loved Lamborghini’s, this is why I don’t buy anything but this. My first was one and now I just collect them” stuffing the keys in my pocket “you think I can afford one?” he questioned, I shrugged chuckling “maybe, I don’t know because life could take you that way. What do you like doing anyways?” walking into the store with him “I like cars, I want to be you” he always says this “I understand but I am a singer, can you sing?” he shook his head “you can do a lot of things with cars though, you can fix cars, you could create new designs. You could drive them, be a race driver. You know what I mean, just keep ya head down and work hard” I might get some drinks, I have ran out of Hennessey “I will, I want your car” this kid, he is funny.

Staring at Rylee, you know when you get that feeling where you want to do something stupid but I can’t because I will freak her out, this is the moment. She is feeding my daughter, like what. Who does this, is this real. Why is she so beautifully nice to people, I don’t deserve her and I am so scared to lose her because I don’t deserve. I have done nothing good in life for god to want me to have this “do you not like my food?” Rylee asked me, looking down at my food “uh yeah, I love it. It’s so nice” I am not going to tell her I was imagining myself proposing to her because that is stupid, it is too quick “you make this just like mom!” Kyrie spat, Royalty threw some rice “I think she prefers the chicken and roti” Rylee said, Royalty grabbed some roti from the tray in front of her and held it up to Rylee “you want to feed me?” Rylee said “yum, yum!” Royalty said, Rylee took it from her “thank you roro, that is nice you’re sharing” I want her to be a mother, we would make cute kids “juice!” Royalty spat clapping, she don’t even need to do this and she is.

I have seen Rylee do things she didn’t need too, I was going to feed her but she did herself “Roro, grandma is here. Put your jacket on” opening the door for my mom “hey baby, what’s with the face?” she questioned, I shrugged not knowing what to say “I want to marry Rylee, I want to be with her forever” my mom cooed out “oh Chris, you can’t just jump at things. You are so in love” hearing Royalty run towards my mom “all fed and ready to go home” my daughter looks so happy, she ran back towards Rylee “lee!” she spat “she calls her lee now? Look at that” smiling at them “she was actually really good” Rylee picked her up “she did eat and throw food around but she ate” Rylee said stood next to me “stupid face” I whispered to Royalty “you stupid!!” she screamed pointing at me “no, you are” biting her finger “aww no daddy got your finger now” she stared at Rylee for help “get off her” Royalty yanked her hand away.

Originally posted by feetyfeetup

Royalty made a hell of a lot of mess but it’s cleaned now, picking my phone from the side as I made my way outside to see what them two are up too. Kyrie needs to go sleep anyways, I don’t allow him to stay awake late. Stepping outside, looking up and seeing the moon which looks so beautiful “you need to get the corner!” Chris spat, turning my head to see Kyrie a top of Chris’ shoulders. They are both spray painting, I am glad to see Kyrie wearing a mask doing all that “that’s a good boy” it actually looks so good what he’s done, he is so creative. Unlocking my phone and pointing my phone at them both, tapping on my Instagram and pressing record on the camera. Zooming in on them both, I just can see Chris with a son, he would be so cute with that. Stopping the recording and captioning it ‘They cute’ pressing send.

“So how come we watching Inception tonight?” I said, watching Chris walk back over to me. Kyrie is asleep and I thought we could watch a movie, well try too of course “It is an Oscar-winning movie, I like the movie a lot” he replied “well Leonardo di Caprio is in it, he’s nice to watch” Chris glared at me “for that you can only watch me during the movie” he is so dramatic, a the smile crept onto my face “I prefer to watch him, he is handsome” Chris mean mugged me “he’s white! I have a bigger dick than him” I snorted laughing “he might have a big one too Chris” he is so silly, I can’t help but laugh.

Chris pushed the play button to start the movie, he made his way over and sat next to me “your right leg” he ordered “my right what?” I spat, what is he doing now, he waved his hand to make me stretch out my leg “what are you up too?” I asked him, stretching my leg out on his lap “watch” he said, adjusting my foot in his lap, I was wondering why he didn’t lay with me in the corner of the couch. I smiled and leaned against the couch so I could see the television but also watch Chris. His fingers pressed the right places on my foot “you giving me a massage babe?” I spat smiling, he grinned at me.

Staring at Chris as he watched the TV intently, not even looking my way as he massaged my foot. Unbuttoning my button on my jeans staring at Chris still, zipping my zip down slowly. Chris didn’t even look away, he must really like this movie then. Snatching my leg away, lifting my butt up and pulling my jeans down. Chris soon looked away from the TV “so no movie then” he said, kicking my jeans off from my legs and then pulling my panties off, climbing onto his lap. Chris gawked at me, a groan rumbles up from his chest, pulling my tee off which exposes my bare chest. Shifting teasingly as I run my fingers through my hair and letting out a contented sigh. His hand trail up and down my thigh possessively “you a freak, here I am being a good boy” he says as I finally stop playing with my hair and place my hands against his chest, rocking over him “I was thinking about this you know, but I wanted to be a good boy” I started to rotate my hips hard against him, making him groan as I leaned down to brush a kiss over his lips “forget the movie” I said against his lips.

this post is my official notice to all sonic fans: if you want to make recolors, do it. if you want to make an oc that’s sonic’s cousin, or the experiment between shadow and the biolizard, or amy’s friend who loves listening to her go on about anything because she likes her bright eyes, do it.

fandom is for you to stretch your creative wings. as long as you’re not hurting anybody, you can make whatever you damn well please- don’t let any elitist fans tell you you’re being a fan wrong. bowl ‘em over with as many gaudy rainbow wolf mobians that you had fun making as you damn well please.

When I was 8, I attended a family party at my aunt’s house which was on top of a hill. Her backyard consisted of this huge downward sloping garden with lots of trees everywhere. I grew up with a lot of cousins who were around the same age as me, and that day, we all decided to play around and explore the backyard—we climbed trees, collected bugs, played hide & seek, etc. 
Everyone who came to the party that day was completely healthy. The weather was nice, food was good. There was a small chance for anyone to get sick from the party…however, during the drive home that night, I started to feel nauseous. I used to get carsick a lot when I was little, so I thought it would pass once I got home. The thing is, I live 15 minutes away from my aunt; the nausea was not from being carsick, and it didn’t go away when I got home.
In fact, my mom (who left the party early and was already home by the time my cousin dropped me off) said that when I got home, I acted very strange. I was totally silent despite the fact that I had been hyper and talkative that whole day. I didn’t say a word to my parents, not even a hello or a kiss on the cheek to greet them like I always did. I walked right past them and just sat on a chair on my patio outside for about an hour. That whole time, I didn’t do anything on that chair. Just sat. From what I remember, I eventually I got up out the chair, threw up water, then fell asleep.
I was too sick to go to school the next day. My mom is a nurse, so she knew whether or not I needed to visit a pediatrician to explain/treat my sickness. I didn’t. 
She did, however, call upon a different kind of doctor: a “witch doctor”. This witch doctor lives all the way in the Philippines, aka the other side of the world. My mom had my grandma in the Philippines give the doctor a picture of me and then told him general information about me like my name and birthday. The witch doctor then put my photo on this shrine in his home, said a prayer, and dipped melted candle wax into a bowl of water which formed the shape of a girl. Almost immediately after this prayer, which took place thousands of miles away from me, I felt better and the nausea was gone. The power of prayer. (Many people actually do practice the magic of candle burning and prayers in wax, you can try it if you research it.)
Apparently, the witch doctor said the reason why I got sick was because there was a spirit of a young girl in my aunt’s backyard that wanted to play with me and my cousins, and in order to do so, she “went inside” of me and basically took over my body. That also explains my weird behavior and the formation of a girl in the water bowl. The prayer he did drove the spirit away from my body. 
Ever since this incident, I stopped going to my aunt’s garden. Who knows what’s still down there, playing beneath the trees.

Puppy love || Scott McCall

Prompt: Meeting Scott when you take your dog for a check up since your parents are both unavailable and you both flirt a wee bit and you later tell your cousin Lydia about the hot yet adorable guy at the clinic and the next day she hears him telling stiles about the girl in the clinic who sounds a lot like her cousin so she sets them up please?

Pairing: Scott x reader (ft. Lydia and Stiles)

Words: 2,048 

A/n: I know this is not a Christmas prompt but this is so cute I just couldn’t help myself at all! I love Scott, I love writing for him, he’s just my fave and my heart melted while writing this because i love Scott and i can totally picture him doing this, I really liked how this turned out and I would like to know what you think of it, please :) (btw the gif is mine)

Originally posted by daisies-are-my-favorites

“Hey sweetie, could you come downstairs for a second?” Your mother asked from the kitchen

You walked out of your room and went downstairs to the kitchen; your parents had a BBQ over at your aunt’s house and since Lydia wasn’t home, there was no use on going with them just to be surrounded by adults and their boring conversations

“Do you need something?” You asked

“Yeah, Aslan has an appointment with the vet this afternoon and I won’t be able to take him, could you please take him? It won’t take long”

Aslan was your golden retriever, he was very loved by everyone and your parents took very good care of him, so they had him check every once in a while

“Of course I will take him” you kneeled down  and started playing with him

Your parents left for the BBQ and you took Aslan to the animal clinic, he was usually very calm but he wasn’t very fond of most people, it’s true that golden retrievers were supposed to be the most loving and playful dogs, but for some reason yours wasn’t, he was actually very protective of you, he wouldn’t even let your father hug you and that happened with most of your guy friends

You parked in front of the clinic and took Aslan inside, you were expecting to see Dr. Deaton but in his place there was this boy around your age with beautiful brown eyes and a charming smile

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I JUST WANT DEREK HALE TO LIKE APPEAR SUDDENLY AND PUNCH THEO IN THE FACE LIKE “You DO not blackmail him or I will rip your throat out with my teeth.” 


Then I want him to take Malia out bowling and be all cousins and stuff.