courtroom inequality

nytimes.com
Alimony for Your Eggs

Should divorce settlements include money for fertility treatments?

Absolutely not. And yet…

That’s the hope of a 38-year-old woman who is a client of Ronald G. Lieberman, a family law attorney in Haddonfield, N.J. Mr. Lieberman is asking his client’s soon-to-be-former husband of eight years to pay $20,000 to cover her egg-freezing procedure, medication costs and several years of egg storage. “When they got married, the expectation was they would start a family,” he told me. “Now she might not have the chance much longer.”

The concept here is that since she entered the marriage with the belief that she would be able to have children because of it, the attorney’s argument is that the soon to be ex-husband needs to pay for in vitro. In short, since he is not fulfilling his side of her imagined contract, he needs to pay to have it provided for her.

I wonder how quickly it would be shot down by the court if he suggested something similar, that he entered the marriage with the belief that he would be having regular sex and due to this, he needs for her to pay him alimony for dating or hiring a sex worker.

The underlying assumption here is that women are helpless children who can’t be held responsible for their actions.

They both talked like adults and agreed to have kids later. That’s not her problem. He has to pay!

Someone halfway reasonable would be to divide the costs 50/50. And apply the same rule to him. He wants to have kids and has fertility issues? He pays half, and so does she.

Instead, he’s told “pay everything” for any decision he makes, and “pay everything” for any decision she makes.

If women are such helpless children, why can they vote? Why can they sign contracts, and own property? We don’t allow children to do any of that.

These people want all of the benefits of being a minor child, with all of the rights of an adult. The trade-off is that the man gets none of the benefits of being an adult, with all of the (non-existent) rights of a child. He has to pay, but he has no choice. She doesn’t have to pay, and has all of the choice.