courtney this is your fault

anonymous asked:

hey I was wondering if I could request a star because I'm really struggling with narcolepsy and my parents don't get that I can't fix myself by just "trying harder" because I'm already trying my hardest. thank you.

Narcolepsy is a medical condition, anon. Your parents need to understand that, and they need to understand that you can’t control it. You can’t fix it by “trying harder”, and talk like that will just make you feel even more stressed and guiltier than you already are.

I want you to know that this is not your fault. Because narcolepsy is a medical condition, it requires medical attention to treat: see your doctor and talk to them about this, and about different ways it can be treated. Narcolepsy can’t be cured, but there are a variety of ways to help you cope and deal with the symptoms.

Honestly, I’m very disappointed in your parents for blaming you for this. You are not to blame, and you are not at fault. You’re doing the best you can, and they need to understand that.

You are amazing and strong, friend, hang in there <3

Keep on shining!
♥ Courtney

Simplicité - Chapter 5

Ahh! It’s still Sunday on the west coast so happy Simplicité Sunday 😭 As always thanks to my kick ass beta for looking this over so quickly @veronicasanders
Summary: Bianca has some realizations, Adore begins to learn about makeup (amongst other things 😏) and Courtney is recovering from a long night out. TW: Smoking, teeny bit of angst.

Keep reading

whatever you do, don’t imagine luke hugging rey and telling her how sorry he is about leaving her so long ago. don’t imagine him kissing her forehead and saying how proud he is of her. don’t imagine him holding her face and telling her how much she reminds him of her mother. and definitely don’t imagine rey calling him dad and hugging him back. don’t. don’t do it.

anonymous asked:

May I vent/request a star? My mother's state of mind has been kinda fragile. I have to be careful because she gets agitated and flip out at me for anything, like not talking enough or not getting grades above an A-. I've developed this habit of saying sorry and tearing up if I do something that I think could ever possibly inconvenience another person, I also flinch when people get close and it hurts to be like this. I feel guilty for bothering my mom so much. I just want everything to be over.

You most certainly can, friend <3

First off, please don’t feel guilty for being you. It sounds like you’ve been held up to ridiculously high standards and expectations, ones you shouldn’t be held to so closely. It is not your fault that your mom has treated you this way, and her behavior (and reactions) are not your fault. It is not your fault.

I suggest that maybe you should talk to someone about this, a trusted friend or  counselor/therapist. They can help support you when you’re feeling overwhelmed or flooded with guilt, and they can help you understand that you are not responsible for the actions of others.

You are not annoying and you are not a burden. You are beautiful and amazing, you are strong and caring - even if some people can’t see that. You are not a bother, friend, and it is not your fault <3

Keep on shining!
♥ Courtney

10 YA Books Courtney Should Read

Okay, so I legit wrote up a huge post a long time ago and apparently deleted it. Um. Anyway, I promised Courtney I’d rec her some amazing YA books, and I’m kind of miserable right now so it seems like as good a time as any. Mind, I’m not reccing things like Harry Potter and THG because she’s already read them, so so no one get their panties in a twist. But if you have recs to add, feel free. These are in no particular order.

1. Born Confused by Tanuja Hidier Desai - so long, long before I ever studied South Asian studies at university or started dating brown dudes or went to India or could really point to India on a map, I read this novel. And to this day it is forever one of my favorites. It is about a desi girl who is completely out of touch with her roots (which, let’s face it, ninety percent of all YA desi related literature that gets published is). Basically, this is the story of the main character, Dimple, finding her place in the world and falling in love. But there are so many elements here that make this book unique. The way Dimple uses/used to use a camera to communicate with her Gujarati speaking grandfather back in India. The complex, but beautiful relationship between her and her parents (who actually get to be real people, which is rare in YA). Dimple’s very, very broken bff Gwen, who is introduced to the reader as this flawless deity but falls very far from grace before finding redemption. Dimple’s honor-roll-parent-approved-match who is actually a badass DJ (that I have a big crush on). OH AND HER LESBIAN COUSIN. The running theme of music and art and creativity and inspiration…seriously, like…I don’t think I can actually put into words how much I love this book. Let’s move on.

2. Audrey, Wait! by Robin Benway- This is straight up fluff. But it’s also kind of wonderful fluff? It’s the story of a girl, Audrey, who breaks up with her band leader boyfriend. …who ends up writing a song about her. …which gets national airtime. I think what saves this from being the traditional girl-inadvertently-thrown-into-the-spotlight beach read is the way that Audrey feels about music. Usually in this kind of chick lit, the boy is the endgame. And while I’m not going to deny that there’s a wafftastic love story floating around in here, Audrey has legitimate relationships and interests and such a ridiculously deep love of music that it’s worth a read. Or three.

3. Five Flavors Of Dumb by Antony John- Okay. I…had my misgivings about this one. It’s is about a deaf girl who ends up managing a band. See: misgivings. And there are spots in it where I’m not one hundred percent sure about the way the subject material is handled. But, that said, Piper (girl in question) is pretty much a badass, and her family is full of human beings, and all/most of the members of the band end up being at least marginally interesting. AND again, what I loved most here was the music. The way the author talks about Hendrix or Cobain, and the way Piper interprets not only what she sees/feels, but also the way other people see/feel/hear is kind of beautiful.

4. Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta- This is a book about a girl at some kind of boarding school in Australia. It is confusing as fuck for the first one hundred or so pages. I would tell you why, but that would ruin the surprise- because once it gets un-confusing, it actually gets amazing. Also, I am a sucker for beautiful prose. A TOTAL SUCKER. And it has some very beautiful prose. Which brings us to…

5. The Forest Of Hands And Teeth (series) by Carrie Ryan- Chances are, Court, you will hate this. The way you stumbled through the whole A Great And Terrible Beauty series (did you even finish the Sweet Far Thing?) kind of indicates to me that you’re not one for reading books just because they have a lot of really beautiful sentences (although I don’t care what you say I want to be Gemma Doyle when I grow up). But I’m reccing these anyway. You may ignore it (I believe Becky hates this series, soooo). It is basically about love quandrangles during the zombie apocalypse. …well, after the zombie apocalypse, really. It came and went and the zombies won and now it’s some three hundred or so years later. Like, you read Saddle Up, yes? It is that, passive aggressive hero and all, but in the future, with no sex. For hundreds of pages, and prettier. …and creepier. I had zombie nightmares for weeks after the last book.

6. Wasteland by Francesca Lia Block- Most people can either take FLB’s writing style or they can’t. If you decide you like it, I’d rec the Rose and the Beast (retelling of all these fairytales) and Weetzie Bat (what she’s best known for), but Wasteland is forever my favorite. It’s about incest. Specifically a girl who is in love with her brother. Who is in love with her. And kills himself. (This is not a spoiler, because the book basically jumps around in the timeline, but you find that out about three chapters in.) Oh, and the boy who is in love with the girl. Can’t forget him.

7. Teach Me by R.A. Nelson- This boooook. This book. It is the story of a girl who falls in love with her teacher and spirals into obsession. For me, at least, it captures the really terrifying emotions you go through when you’re so in love with somebody that you will actually do insane things for them, and even though some of the things the heroine does made me cringe, I still hurt for her. …mind I read it after a bad break up, but STILL.

8. War For The Oaks by Emma Bull- The faelicious story of a girl caught between the Seelie and Unseelie courts. I know. I know. The difference? It was written before aaaaaaall the other ones. I want to say the eighties off the top of my head, but it might be the early nineties. Either way this books is almost as old as we are. Also, the main character, Eddi, is in a band and cares more about her instruments than she does about the fae, or the obnoxious (super amaze) phouka that stalks her around Chicago.

9. Divergent by Veronica Roth- You knew the dystopias were coming. Don’t lie. Anyway, this is a series, and I actually only remember the premise being silly and the end being awesome, and Trice (the main character) being a total hbic, but you should read it anyway because I am DYING for the next one to come out.

10. Peeps by Scott Westerfeld- It hurts me that you haven’t already read this. It is the story of vampires and old New York. Okay, actually it is the story of Cal who knows a lot of really disgusting details about weird parasites and penis fish. He is also hilarious, and Scott is one of my favorite writers (no I refuse to like his wife I’m sorry you can’t make me).

Bonus: WHY HAVEN’T YOU READ ZOMBIES VS. UNICORNS YET?

BonusBonus: White Cat by Holly Black. Predictible, but who cares, it is about a hot guy named Cassel WHO ACTS LIKE HE IS IN A NOIR DETECTIVE NOVEL.

BONUSBONUSBONUS: Wuthering High (series) by Cara Lockwood - Still on the silly. These are the books I was texting you about the other day, where this girl goes to a delinquent boarding school where all the teachers are the ghosts of dead authors? And she dates Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights? Yeeeeeah.

…also You Are So Undead To Me by Stacey Jay- Speaking of zombies. Super light, super fluffy, super great twist ending. It’s about a girl who is a necromancer and she’s not exactly great at it. You’ll read it in an hour, probably, but I distinctly recall it being fun.

…I’m not writing up reccs for them, but along the zombie/vampire line of thought, there is Boys That Bite by Mari Mancusi, which is this very, very, very light hearted series about twins named Sunshine and Rayne with a ton of Buffy references and then Abhorsen by Garth Nix, which is high fantasy and also involves necromancers. I love that series bunches too.

Uh. The end. I have eight thousand more books to rec, but I’ll leave you with these ten…fifteen…shut up.