courtney read

The way pop culture suggests an aversion to Courtney Love’s drug-addled mythology while espousing Cobain’s martyrdom, the way some communities shit on Lana Del Rey’s “aesthetic sadness” while simultaneously espousing emo bands fronted by men– it’s not to say that any of these genres, digressions, or affinities necessarily deserve respect, but there is a schism and a definite, unfair gender binary that favors troubled men over troubled women–and their right to be troubled. Men who grapple with issues that coincide with art and fame are canonized in death; women who do the same are made lesser, somehow, by their own unequivocal loss.

This is was I imagine Bitty’s YouTube page to look like <3 Will I ever make another (for Nursey?) … probably not for a while at least xD This took me half a day.

See more of my thoughts on it under the cut <3

Keep reading


YOU GUYS I mean, yes, we have a lovely review from Maya Rodale but I’m not even a Hamlton fan (don’t shoot me – I don’t DISLIKE it, I’ve just never really listened to it) and I loved this trio of romance novellas from three of the best writers out there right now.

But you can still check out Maya’s review here :)

– Petra

anyway nothing is more insidious, more vile than erasing the narratives and stories of the trans women of colour involved in stonewall and it’s aftermath. how people can claim to be a member of the gay community involved in its history et al and yet in the same breath bastardise marsha, sylvia, miss major, and the dozens of other trans women involved will never not bewilder me 

the life and times hasn’t been updated in three and a half years what the fuck where is jules 

Tough Love Pt 2

Here is part two loves. I appreciate the out pouring of support from you all! @sparklemichele @readsalot73 @ariwolff14

part one can be found below!

Tough Love Pt 1

also  in my mind Aadya is dressed like Alice from Resident Evil The final Chapter Enjoy and as always messages and questions are appreciated!!!

In the morning I took a moment to look at my face in the bathroom. The swelling had gone down but the bruise and the busted lip remained. At least it wasn’t my eye I frowned.

After getting dressed I decided to head down to the dorms, Four was waiting outside. “Ready?” he asked.

 “quite frankly id rather be asleep” I looked down the hall right as Eric was walking by.

He didn’t say a word and wouldn’t even look at me, he stopped and turned to Four. “what are the plans for your training this morning?”

Let me take a moment to describe Eric. He was tall with broad shoulders. His arms looked as though he spent every waking moment inside the practice hall and lifted buildings in his free time. He had short brown hair that he wore shaved on the sides and long on top. His face was like that of a stone statue, hard and beautiful. His eyes appeared to have absorbed every storm in history. Above his eye he had two orb piercings and on the sides of his wide neck were tattoos. As every dauntless black was his clothing color of choice. At first glance he instilled fear in most of the initiates and with a few more glances I’m sure every one of them had a wet dream on the first night.

Id realized that I was staring at Eric pretty hard when he snapped at me. “ what the hell are you looking at 3”?

I was merely admiring your features, if you weren’t so daft you might actually be attractive”. I shrugged and walked into the dorm before he could retaliate. I could hear Four trying to calm him down. Smirking I started banging on the bunks and yelling. After an impressive scrambling of the initiates I decided to head to the training room while they ate breakfast.

I was checking the knifes when I heard footsteps coming up behind me, I turned and ducked kicking out my leg putting the person, who turned out to be Four on their ass.

“what the hell Aadya”! he cursed, picking himself back up. “ I thought you were Eric, you shouldn’t have crept up on me” I turned away back to the targets.

“I was walking. What was that with you and Eric back there”? he looked cautious as he asked.

“Nothing, I was just trying to get under his skin and by the sound of it I succeeded”. I smirked.

Four rolled his eyes as the initiates started to file in. The knife training was Fours area of expertise so I was pretty much observing this time.

We were twenty minutes In when Eric walked in and with a booming voice he addressed the room. “ All this knife throwing is a waste if you don’t know what it means to practice on a living breathing target” he paused. “ you”! he called to one of our more skilled initiates, “ stand where the target is”. the Initiate who’s name was Chris paused before moving into position. “Four, you do the throwing” Four looked at Chris and then Eric. “ I am not risking an initiates life”

“what’s wrong Four, don’t trust your aim”? Eric challenged.

I walked up to Chris and told him to get out of the way and I took his place . “ Why don’t you throw the knifes with me as the target Four” Four didn’t get to answer me because Eric snatched the Knifes away from him.  

 The first one went soaring right past my ear. I felt the sharp pain as the knife grazed my skin. The second knife went soaring through the air and out of instinct I ducked as it hit the wall behind my head. I only needed a split second to close the gap between me and Eric before he lifted his hand to throw the third one and he went flying as I landed on top of him.

With a quick hand I smashed his fist holding the knife, it slid across the floor.

After the shock wore off he was on top of me and had pinned both of my hands to the floor.

“ you would attack another leader”? he growled

“ you were trying to hit me on purpose you second rate ape” as the word ape left my mouth he pulled back his fist aiming for my face and I slide down in between his legs right as he punched the ground.

 Eric yelled in pain and quickly turned and punched me in the stomach causing me to fly back from the force. With only a moment to recover I used both of my fists and cracked him in the side of his head.

“STOP RIGHT NOW”! I could hear fours voice as Eric slammed me down into the concrete, the last thing I remember was my head hitting the ground and then…. Darkness…

When I awoke I was in the infirmary. My head was pounding and my hands ached. I turned to my bedside to see Four asleep in a chair. It must have been nightfall. I yanked all the monitors from my skin and got out of bed. Quietly I walked past Four and the nurses in the next room. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to see me in such a vulnerable state. When I got to my apartment I stripped and stepped into the shower. The scalding water ran over my back and shoulders and I could feel the sting from the bruises that I was sure to find there.

After I got out I remembered that it was capture the flag night. Dressing quickly I headed to the train. I jumped off onto the rooftop just as Eric was assigning himself team captain.

“In place of Four the second captain will be…” I cut Eric off. “Me” the crowd parted as I walked through to the front. I could see the look of annoyance on Eric’s face.

Eric and I gave the flags to the initiates to go hide. I was feeling the excitement from the impending match when Eric stopped me. “ aren’t you supposed to be in the infirmary 3” he smirked.

“First, my name is Aadya and second the infirmary wont miss me but your team will miss you” a confused look crossed his face as I dropped kicked him and took off for my team.

Feeling the wind in my hair as I jumped from the rooftops gun in hand. Eric’s team had already set up an ambush line on the way to the flag and they were taking my teammates out left and right. A loud crack rang across the sky and the rain started to fall. Most of the initiates weren’t dauntless born and had never played in the rain and it was starting to show. Everyone was sliding and falling. If I wasn’t so focused on finding the flag I might have stopped to laugh myself.

 I had reached the top of the tower. Wiping my eyes I realized I could see the glow from the flag.

Gun raised I followed the light until I came to a room with the door wide open. The flag was in the middle of the room. To a newbie dauntless this looked like a piece of cake but I knew better.

I watched as Eric walked into the light.

“you didn’t think it would be that easy 3 did you?” the rain had matted his hair to his forehead and I saw his sinister looking grin.

“I’m glad you finally lived up to your full potential… a filthy guard dog” I laughed, gun still raised I walked farther into the room. “ just give me the damn flag Eric and I’ll be on my way”.

“I’ll give you the flag when I’m fucking dead” he took a step towards me.

“Death is closer than you think” I lowered the dart gun and pulled out a hunting knife.

The gap between us was closing fast. Eric made a lunge for me and I ducked ending up on the side of the room with the flag or so I thought, there dangling in Eric’s hand was the flag.

I was running out of options, if I moved too slow he could take off running. Before my brain could catch up to my body I ran up to Eric smashing right into him as his back hit the wall.

 His face was inches from mine and I could feel his racing heart against my chest. With an inch of space between our lips I whispered “ in another world we’d fuck until the end of time” and slowly  I licked the top of his lip. “ why not this world”? Eric said while his eyes filled with lust. I pulled his head to the side and Whispered in his ear “because..” I carefully started to slip the flag from his grasp. “ I just came for the flag” Snatching the flag away I ran towards the door and down the hall.

I found the first window and leaned out shouting that we’d won. Eric came barreling behind me furious but off balance. I watched his angry mouth curse me before I jumped from the window and I as I fell I could have sworn Id seen a small smirk.

This might be true, yes. But that’s the point of the story tbh. We can all be selfish and seriously, if you have not yet felt so angry and sad to the point of badly wanting to get back to the people who hurt you and put you through so many horrible and emotionally and mentally destructive things, then wow. But hey i’m not saying you should do it. get revenge?Kill yourself?

I think most people miss another one of the points the story’s trying to make, or reach people with. This is not just about showing how your words and little actions can affect to some people to the point of killing themselves. This is also about people like hannah. Her “revenge” did worse things to the people on the tapes, guilt, fear, regret and soooo much more, and if that’s what her goal was then she succeeded, but that’s not all, her parents were hurting, not knowing why, or where did they go wrong? Now, is this what she wants? Maybe not. The show ended with implying that alex committed suicide, and maybe justin too, and tyler planning something not nice at all, probably school shooting, idk? Is this what she wants? Maybe not too. The show is trying to help suicidal people not only by stopping other people from doing horrible things to a person but also showing those who still has suicide thoughts how they would change everything in a bad way. That they matter and if one person didn’t care, that does not mean there won’t be anyone who’ll ccare. im sure their parents would be soooooo sooo glad if they just sit down and tell them everything. It’s hard but it will be worth it. And right now there are helplines, if telling their parents is out of question because of personal issues and things i dont really know, then helplines would help.

Hannah had been selfish, and so are we. Hannah made bad decisions and so do we. Hannah wanted revenge, and sometimes we want that to.

Maybe for you hannah’s reason is not enough to put her parents thru that much but for hannah its all already too much to handle to the point of not caring about anyone at all. She said it. She doesn’t care about everything aanymore.
Maybe 1 mile run is bearable for you but for some people half a mile is already too much.