courage courage courage

i love you. [delete]
did you ever love me? [delete]
was i just somebody you used to make you feel better about yourself? [delete]
well, here’s me making you feel better about yourself: you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met in my life. nobody could ever take your place. i love you more than words can say. [delete]
yeah, you fucked me over, but i still think you’re great. i don’t know if that says more about me or more about you. i don’t know if that makes me pathetic or kindhearted. i always saw the good in you. [delete]
i know i didn’t always act like you were important to me. i’m sorry for that. i’m sorry i didn’t shove it down your throat every day, tell you that you were worth everything to me; i’m sorry i held your mistakes against you so much. i’m sorry i didn’t realize you were struggling too. [delete]
you’re still the first person i want to tell anything to. like did you hear who our ex-friend is hooking up with? did you see that facebook status? did you see that car crash on route 29? did you know there are more microbes on your body than people on earth? [delete]
i know i said leave but i really meant i’ll be waiting for you to come back. my friends say it’s not permanent; i can go back whenever i want to. i know i can but i left for a reason. it hurts so much that you don’t want me. [delete]
i keep thinking i can convince you to choose me. who wouldn’t want someone who loves them this much? i want to shower you with compliments just so you realize what you lost. [delete]
but i also want you to know you’re special. i want you to know somebody loves you, even if they’re far away. i want you to know how you lifted my spirits by just existing. [delete]
but then i think: where’s my “i love you”? where’s my “thank you for existing”? where’s my “you’re special” and “i appreciate you” and “you’re important to me”? why am i always the one trying to make this work? why don’t you value me? [delete]
you told me you’d always answer my text messages, probably even in your sleep. i can’t believe someone so goddamn beautiful could do such ugly things. [delete]
—  delete delete delete
If you keep at it, it will happen. It will. The only thing that is stopping you from achieving your wildest dreams is the questioning of whether or not you will show your persistence. So show it. Show that infinite strength and courage that you have within you.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin