It is not easy to watch someone through a screen instead of your eyes tracing the curves of their face while they’re standing in front of you.
It’s not easy to have a bad day and not be able to see one of the only people that can make it better. For something exciting to happen and not be able to celebrate about it that night.
To not be able to have brunch on Sunday morning, or make dinner plans for when you get off work, or snuggle up together on the couch for one of the nights a tv show comes on that you both love.
Sometimes you miss them so much and it’s like you can’t get relief from it. Sure, you plan times to see each other but some nights are bad and you need them right now and you need to touch them or you’ll die and your heart has never felt so lonely.
Long distance is not easy but one day it will be worth it. One day you’ll live in a cute apartment together where you can wake up next to each other and fuck each other to sleep and a see you later means see you tonight when we get off and it’s time for dinner. Long distance is a choice. It’s a commitment to say, “I love you more than all of the distance between us.”
“how did you know that it was over? that you should leave him?”, she asks her best friend.
“simple. i asked myself two questions: do i love him? and, does he make me happy?”
“yes, yes i love him. but no, he doesn’t make me happy. and just being in love with someone isn’t enough. if that someone can’t make you happy, all the love in the world can’t help you. you will just end up destroying yourself for someone who isn’t even worth it.”
e.s. // all the love in the world can’t help you.
Never cry. Why ruin your makeup or soak your brand new coat? Just keep it in or transform your sadness into anger. Anger is much more appealing than weakness.
Always chew gum. Blow bubbles, pop it in annoyance, chew it until it grows stringy and thin between your molars. Keep your mouth busy. That way you can’t say anything you don’t mean.
Bite your lip, not only will it attract the attention of the boy who holds his cup way too tight to have any idea what he’s doing with it, but it’ll also split open and your blood will act as a natural lip stain.
Soak your homework in orange juice and force it down your throat. Gulp it down, don’t you dare heave it up. Fill up your stomach with the paper and hope to god you’ll pass chemistry. Who knows, maybe trees will sprout and you’ll finally be able to take in oxygen. It’s the breakfast of champions.
Problems aren’t problems until you acknowledge that you have problems. So what if you drink a little too much on a school night? Who cares if you stand too long at the edge of the look-out point? Just flash them a smile, hike up your dress, laugh a little higher. It’s not running away from the issue if the issue doesn’t exist, right?
Lock your closet, skeletons are only meant to be seen in your health class.
Shatter your mirror, pick up a piece and hold it at arms length. There, now you can control what reflects back at you. Besides, it makes since to look at the individual parts of yourself, you’ve never been whole.
Stand up straight, don’t bow your head. Blue blood may not run through your veins but, unless it spills, no one has to know.
Remember that you’re a forest fire. You have poison underneath your finger nails. You are a wild thing, and wild things can not be tamed.
If you can’t be guaranteed heaven then give them hell.
MY TEARS ARE MADE OF ROSE WATER AND GASOLINE; TAKE A SHOT AND FEEL IT BURN // k.m.