country hick

So I just wanna help y'all understand something about southern stereotypes:

  • Southern gentlemen are kind, courteous, and protective of women and children. They are often Christian and proud of their southern heritage. Men referred to as southern gentlemen often have more refined etiquette.
  • Rednecks are basically southern gentlemen without the refined etiquette. They take pride in industry, which is why their yards are often reminiscent of salvage yards-they plan on using most of the things there and are just waiting for the time to complete their projects. They do like to hunt, but they are respectful in doing so. They are hardworking people.
  • White trash have none of the characteristics of southern gentlemen. They are arrogant, belligerent, and like to cheat the system. Their yards look like junkyards-they have no intention of doing anything with any of that stuff, they just couldn’t be bothered to get rid of it. They hunt out of season, teach their kids racism and abusive tendencies, and do their best to avoid work. These are the people who you see collecting welfare checks and never working.
  • Hillbillies are just rural folks from the hills or mountains who don’t interact much with society. They may have any mixture of good or bad traits.
  • Hicks are rural folks who are regarded as unintelligent.
  • Country boys/girls are raised in the South, usually outside cities, and while they vary in their manners, beliefs, and such, they are generally accustomed to hard labor.

So basically most southern stereotypes have been morphed and merged in the eyes of people from elsewhere.

When it comes to country girls y'all have taken the idea of a young woman who has been raised on a farm, works hard, and is proud of her efforts and roots and tried your best to replace it with the image of a city girl who wishes that she were living in the country because she thinks that marrying a country boy sounds romantic.

Also, although most of y'all think that everyone in the South is horribly racist, know this: those of us who are truly proud of southern culture are proud of everything from the Mexican and African to the French and German cultures that have come together to create our culture.

And it’s frankly offensive that y'all merge the ideas of rednecks and white trash when you think of the South, because while rednecks are pretty uncommon as you go North, white trash are in no short supply anywhere around the world.

Ok but seriously I need to give you the scoop on some of the ridiculousness that went down during Lexington and Concord because it was insane. These are just some of my favorites:

  • John Hancock and Samuel Adams are hiding out at Hancock’s cousin Lucy’s house in Lexington. When Paul Revere shows up to tell them to leave, William Munroe, a militiaman who was guarding the door, tells Revere to shut up and go away because everyone was asleep.
  • Hancock’s fiancee Dolly asks him to take her to Boston so that she can rescue her father. Hancock tells her that she isn’t allowed to go back there while the British are still occupying the city. She reminds him that they aren’t actually married yet so she can technically do whatever she wants without his permission.
  • Paul Revere and William Dawes meet a Concord doctor named Samuel Prescott, who just happens to be out at 1am because he had spent the day with his girlfriend and presumably got kicked out of her house. When a group of British soldiers chase them, Revere is captured, Dawes comically falls off his horse, and Prescott manages to get away with the alarm message to Concord. His getting the message across in time meant that there were enough soldiers in Concord to beat the British, meaning that his walk of shame basically caused us to win the battle.
  • Paul Revere tells the soldiers who captured him that there are hundreds or armed and angry country hicks converging on Lexington center who are prepared to slaughter the British; the soldiers get so scared they just let him and the other captives go and run away.
  • Elijah Sanderson, one of the Lexington militiamen, is sent out, unarmed, as a scout, and is captured. Luckily he is in the same group of captives as Revere and is also let go. After telling the Lexingtonians what is going on he is so exhausted that he sits down next to the fireplace in the tavern and falls asleep, only waking up when the drum starts beating. Once he gets outside he realizes that he had never actually gone home to get his gun and so has to hide in the tavern during the battle.
  •  Joseph Warren somehow sneaks out of Boston to join the fighting and almost get himself killed. At one point a bullet whizzes by so closely it knocks a bobby pin out of his wig.
  • After the battle at the North Bridge in Concord a man named Elias Brown, who was mentally disabled and did not really comprehend what was happening, starts wandering through the crowd selling hard cider to the soldiers on both sides and getting everyone drunk.
  • A British officer named Jeremy Lister was not assigned to the expedition, but had volunteered when another officer said he was sick and couldn’t go. He is shot at Meriam’s Corner and the bullet shatters his elbow, leaving his arm immobile for the rest of his life. After he recovers he is informed the other officer had been faking it to get out of work. 
  • A British soldier and an American soldier have a standoff in front of a well when they show up at the same time to get a drink. Both men pull out a gun and fire a shot; both of them die.
  • Samuel Whittemore, an 80 year old man from Menotomy, hides behind a wall and starts picking off British soldiers with dueling pistols. Eventually one of them manages to get through, shoot him in the face, and bayonet him several times. Some friends find him several minutes later still trying to reload his gun. They drag him home kicking and screaming, assuming that he will be dead soon. He lives to be 98.
  • A woman in Lexington, Mary Sanderson, hides in the woods with her family and then comes home to find a half-conscious British soldier lying in her bed. When her husband Samuel gets home he finds Mary raining obscenities upon the poor injured man. Samuel tells her that if they didn’t give him some food he will never have the energy to leave, but the soldier is so terrified of Mary he refuses to eat, only taking the food after making Samuel eat it to make sure it wasn’t poisoned. 
Ok this might sound stupid

But I’ve been listening to country songs at 7 am and this one song got me thinking about my boi J which got me thinking about a Cowboy Batjokes AU where J is a rodeo clown and Bruce is an undercover bullrider.
 
B goes by a stage name (BatBull? BullBat? No I kid but can you imagine?) and wears a mask and everything cuz he comes from rich oil tycoon money and doesn’t want his hobby to undermine his standing as an investor or some such bullshit (pun intended). He’s the “broody, edgy” Clint Eastwood type of cowboy who is as much a panty-wetter as he is a talented rider. However, as the heir to the Wayne Oil Empire, he’s your typical Southern Charmer, complete with a smooth drawl and soft-spoken strength (ok but for real Bruce’s baritone with just a hint of twang? Mmmm). He’s constantly trying to find alternative uses for fossil fuels and supports hybridization with other energy sources, despite the backlash from the oil industry. No one knows that he and the “Dark Rider” are one and the same.
Meanwhile, J is a reckless mess of a clown who actually used to be a rider himself, but chose the path of comedy instead, much to many’s dismay. Not a lot is known about his actual past, due to his compulsive lying and his flair for dramatics, and, outside of his best cowgal Harley, he’d rather keep it that way. He has made a name for himself by incorporating dangerous stunts into his routines, including, but not limited to: setting off fireworks, blinding his fellow clowns with pies and pastries, seltzering the audience with or without consent, emasculating bros who try and heckle him, actually drinking while in the ring, and riding on the bulls himself. None of this is encouraged by the rodeo officials (Gordon and co) and his employers have had tremendous problems trying to keep him in line while still giving a masochistic crowd what they want.

At first, Bruce is like “tf is this clown thinking, he’s gonna get himself and everyone killed if he’s not careful!!” and tries to swoop in and save him from his own shenanigans. But things quickly escalate until the two of them are facing off on separate bulls, equally matched and equally determined to outdo the other, creating a whole new type of improv performance that the crowd goes wild for. And one that they’re forced to repeat now at every show by their gleeful bosses. Soon the “Rider vs. the Jokester” becomes a tradition within the rodeo community, and is one of their highest rated spectacles. This totally has nothing to do with the fact that the two of them have such undeniable chemistry on and off the stage. And is totally not the reason the Rider refuses to use the shared locker rooms or why J is interested in competition riding again. Nope. All egos and secret identities and no homo here.

Like idk other villains are also part of this? Maybe even Robin and Barbara? Eventually? All I know for sure is that I’m jokingly calling it BrokeBat Mountain and Harley is the daisy dukes queen and Alfred makes a mean peach sweet tea.

Suggestions for who wears the assless chaps first are always welcome.

4

“Serving my country is in our family blood. To be a marine, it’s honor, courage, and commitment. Your job is to serve the country and protect the country. You’re not looking for praise for what you’ve done and who you are; you’re just doing your job.”
Ben Driebergen, Heroes Tribe

anonymous asked:

Do you think that Jak's hair went green as a child to blond tips as a teen because he stayed out in the sun more?

yes, absolutely!

I headcanon that some jnd humans have a gene that causes hair pigments to deteriorate and fade away with sun exposure (specifically UV radiation); this usually affects some pigments more than others, which accounts for the extreme gradients seen in some characters’ hair. In addition to Jak, Keira and several TPL npcs display this trait; Jak inherited it from his mother (it wasn’t present in the Mar lines) and he probably had the beginnings of lighter tips when he was first kidnapped since he was definitely in the sun a lot in Spargus.

Hair gradients are rarely seen in Haven due to various factors (including air pollution and city folk typically spending most of their time indoors) though it’s still technically present in the population. Most Havenites (those who ascribe to cultural norms and mainstream beauty standards) consider hair gradients an ‘undesirable’ trait, as it’s associated with heavy labour and is something of a ‘country hick’ stereotype; most city folk with the fade gene would prefer to dye their hair darker or wear it cut short in the event that they actually get enough sun to develop a gradient. By contrast, people living in the past and modern-day wastelanders are more likely to display the hair gradient phenotype as they spend a lot of time outdoors and lack the social stigma towards it, and Havenite colonies fall somewhere in the middle (small farming communities are less likely to care as much while bigger and more urban colonies like Kras generally follow the Havenite norm).

And while we’re on the topic of hair genetics, jnd humans naturally have a much wider range of available hair colours than irl humans (we have two pigments; I’d give jnd humans four to account for the possibility of green/blue/purple hair colours) and generally speaking their hair tends to be relatively light even among darker-skinned people. Also, frequent eco users commonly go white at a relatively young age, as seen with the Acherons and Damas; this is probably unavoidable for Jak as well.

gaymerwitttattitude  asked:

Bill O' Reilly over here talking about Maxine Water's Hair when his name sounds like some Country Ass Hick Tow Truck company with Confederate flags hanging everywhere...

Bill O'reilly needs to take a good look at himself before judging others…

Considering the fact that his name sounds like his ass should be smokin’ a pipe somewhere under a rainbow while tryna keep humans away from his pot of gold. 🙄

Like… listen, Bill, Sweetie. Maxine can always take off her wig, but your bum ass is stuck with that face! 😊

Blaming @shamingcows​ for this. We were throwing AUs back and forth, created this one and then this happened. Art for this AU can be found here. I plan on doing three of these and not expanding it beyond this for the moment, mostly because I have a backlog of fic I want to work on first before considering another large project.


Mikleo sighed as Sorey rolled off of him, smiling when Sorey was quick to gather him close again. Mikleo hummed happily as he nuzzled into Sorey’s chest. He lifted a hand to rest his palm over Sorey’s heart. He could feel it beating fast, Mikleo unable to keep himself from smirking against Sorey’s skin. 

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