country girl thoughts

cause! we! are! never! ever! ever! getting! back! together!

Listening to my local country station at work the past few days I’ve learned a few things:
•90% of the music is sung by guys.
•Whiskey often rhymes with kiss me or the second favorite, miss me.
•Often times to show they’re not thinking about a woman they write an entire song about how their not thinking of her.
•Girl is their favorite word. Just listen to 3 songs I guarantee you’ll hear it at least 4 times.
•Drink is almost always followed by think or vice versa (see also; thinkin/drinkin)
•Everyone always seems to be looking at their “girl” that they’re singing about.
•Jacked up, truck, drink, beer, mud, tires, hometown, and small-town are also hot topics in most songs not involving “girl” Unless the girl is drinking the beer and driving the truck and is from a small-town.

Parodelia of the city streets
Your heart gives a golden leap
As you hear a sudden chirping
It could be coyotes cajoling

But it turns into a longer peel
And you realize it’s just a cop car calling
No brother picks up the sound to kick it back in return
People don’t know how to play anymore

Part of you will always wake up thinking
There’s a porch
To a meadow
To a stream outside

Part of you will always have
Earthworms
And minnows
And live bait inside

These city walls don’t create this divide
They only create the need
We mimic the sounds of animals
So that we don’t have to hear our own screams
—  Maureen Armstrong | “Coyote Summer”

This may sound really weird and random, but I can’t stand fake country girls.

Growing up, all I listened to was country. Alan Jackson, Brooks and Dunn, Kenny Chesney, the whole shebang. The kids I went to school with made fun of me for it and teased me for wanting cowboy boots. A few kids even had the nerve to tell me I should die for the music I listen to, since its all about death and drugs and alcohol anyway.

I never really liked pop music. I found the beats to be weird, the lyrics to be often derogatory or pointless, but I never made death threats to people about their music.

Well, around grade six, I was introduced to the ‘fake country girl’. They were those girls in cowboy boots and cut-off jeans, posting facebook selfies and statuses quoting Taylor Swift and Eric Church and Carrie Underwood. I wanted to scream 'thats not even country!’ at the top of my lungs, because T-Swift stopped singing country forever ago, Eric Church is slowly becoming pop, and Carrie was pop-country from the get-go. 

It pisses me off, straight to my core, that the kids who teased me and called me weird for listening to the music I loved trying to be a fake country girl because they thought it made them look cool. It makes me want to punch a wall or something. These girls are using something they told me was 'uncool’ and 'stupid’ to make themselves looks cool and smart. 

Just….. gah. I’m very passionate about country music and will defend it to my dying breath.

All of these games, we play
I can’t even keep ‘em all straight
Do we mean what we say
We got lines crossed all over the place, yeah
I can’t tell if I’m winning or losing
Somebody tell me what are we doing
Nobody ever comes out on top
Tell me are we ever gonna stop
Playing these games
—  Luke Bryan - Games