What would happen if different Siths were forced to watch a kid, that they couldn't kill.
As in, they are forced to be a babysitter? What a cruel punishment….
y’all really gonna put anakin in the same room as a youngling? the stupid kid keeps playing with his cape until vader loses his patience and just holds him in place with the force.. then they look at him with the saddest little eyes and his heart melts. vader is happy to walk around with the little tyke hiding underneath his cape for the rest of the day as the officers try to figure out where that tiny giggling is coming from.
sidious: his attempts to turn them to the dark side don’t work, so he tries desperately to ignore them—to no avail. he then proceeds to feed them absurd amounts of sugar and toss them into dooku’s room. problem solved.
maul: has a staring contest with them, refusing to move from his spot cross-legged on the floor. at first it works as the kid just stares back, but then they start to cry and he panics, frantically picking them up (which only makes them cry harder) and sings/chants “stoooop cryingggg… stop stop stoooop crying…” maul stands there as they fall asleep, a defeated sigh escaping his lips.
savage: he has experience with kids, being an older brother to both maul and feral, so when he ends up being a babysitter it comes easy to him. savage happily watches them, answering all the questions they have (”hey where do babies come from?” “um.”) and letting them burn their energy away. piece of cake.
asajj: ugh. go away. stop pestering me. you’re hungry? there’s food in the fridge, go have whatever y-nO PUT THAT WINE DOWN. she decides to tell them stories about the nightsisters in the hope they’ll shit their pants and stay away from her, but it has the opposite effect. asajj still doesn’t like them, but is quite impressed that they press her for more.
dooku: shows them around the library, reading to them and force-pulling them away from fragile things around the house. dooku thought he’d loathe looking after the kid, but he’s actually starting to enjoy himself. this kid is pretty quiet and—SHEEV WHAT THE HELL
kylo: sprints around starkiller base with the kid on his shoulders, laughing maniacally and force-pushing everything in his way. lectures anybody that complains about his “parenting”, insisting that this is the best way to relieve tension. shows the kid his cool collection of darth vader posters.
nihilus: has no idea what to do, so he just kinda follows the kid around and makes sure they don’t hurt themselves. it turns out the child is deaf, which excites nihilus. the kid reads his body language very well and teaches him sign language. nihilus has the time of his life communicating with the little one.
grievous: lets the kid play with gor while he works on reports and ship maintenance. none of the other sith know this, but he had many children before he became Grievous. it’s still annoying, being an impromptu babysitter, but he knows how to keep an eye on them.