Sometimes I remind myself that I almost skipped the party, that I almost went to a different college, that the whim of a minute could have changed everything and everyone. Our lives, so settled, so specific, are built on happenstance.
Word Count: 5150 (god I’m sorry, I just really like words)
Contains: Fluff, smut, angst, language
A/N: I wrote this for @melbelle45‘s Dirty Pop Challenge. My song prompt was U Got it Bad by Usher. I used some lines and ideas from the song and I went for the hardcore pining, hope you feel it. Assume the reader is familiar of the hunting life, and it’s sometime after S8. All my love to @impala-dreamer for her encouragement and time when I struggled with this one.
Feedback and constructive criticism are both welcomed and encouraged. xoxo
The email sat in your inbox for a month before you noticed it; buried in the spam from mailing lists and unsolicited porn. Then, it sat there for another week before you could decide what to do with it - delete it, ignore it, reply. You had a decent enough reason for each option. Your stomach did flips every time you held the cursor over the email. You’d been ready to flip your life upside down and take the leap, but then he was gone, before you had a chance to be anything.
The one thing Keith knows is that Lance smells amazing.
It’s first thing Keith had noticed about him. He smells like lavender; it’s his shampoo, Keith found out after spending the night at Lance’s in freshman year. The sweet smell reminds him of those Lush stores Shiro used to drag him to. Shiro’d ask him which conditioner he should buy for Keith because yes, Keith, you should take of yourself. Keith would point to whatever and try not to stare at the gorgeous employees. He likes the loud ones, with nice bright smiles and lips that aren’t chapped, pretty boys with–
*thinks about math and gets sad because of the roadblock i hit in terms of both enjoying & learning it because petty young me just didn’t enjoy the way it was being taught to him at the time, likely throwing him years back in terms of progress*
Lithofayne Pridgon: Jimi Hendrix’s original ‘foxy lady’
She was the woman he could never quite date exclusively, because she was too free spirited to be tied to one man; Hendrix’s frustration at loving her alongside singers Sam Cooke and Little Willie John inspired “Foxy Lady.”
It was the 1960s, and Pridgon was dating both Little Willie John and Cooke while running with other musicians, hustlers, drug dealers and, later, “fun fun cops” who shook down people to bring her the leftover pharmaceuticals. At a party in 1962 thrown by Jack “Fat Man” Taylor, a big Harlem drug player, she met Jimi Hendrix, a struggling guitarist.
She and Hendrix had a one-night stand of sorts at Fat Man’s party and then ran into each other again outside of the Apollo one year later; Pridgon was there to see Cooke, and Hendrix was trying to get a job. But in that moment, the two began their torrid and frustrating love affair—while she was still seeing Willie John and Cooke, of course.
But Jimi, she says, so young and in love, was also “insanely jealous”. She has an extraordinary collection of love letters from him, written in florid, lyrical prose – the same style later evident in his lyrics – that prove without a shadow of a doubt the intensity of his infatuation; an intensity that scared her. “As I write more and more, I feel myself grow so very weak under the power of you,” he wrote in one.
For all her talk of being a “loose lady”, Lithofayne is clearly a romantic at heart; one who sought from the men she knew a love that was pure and uncomplicated by jealousy, disaffection and possessiveness; a love that swept her off her feet, but also a love that left her to be free. “I wanted to continue seeing Jackie and Sam and Willie,” she says. “I didn’t think about it in terms of, ‘I’m your old lady.’ I wasn’t anybody’s old lady.” She loved them all equally and unreservedly. “That was the problem,” she says. Jimi couldn’t handle that.
“He adored her, to the point of distraction,” Winona Williams says of Hendrix. “You always want what you can’t have. And he had her but he didn’t have her exclusively, and that drove him up the wall.”
One time Lithofayne recalls, he even said to her, albeit jokingly: “I’d like to freeze you in a cake of ice, thaw you out when I want to, if that was possible, huh?” “Stop talkin’, crazy,” she replied. “He talked crazy.”
Hendrix left the US in September 1966 for England, where he would find a recording contract, recognition and fame. But he made a point of tracking Lithofayne down whenever he came back to New York, and she remained very much on his mind. His deep, abiding love for her never faltered, seemingly finding form in a song he recorded in London for his debut album, “Foxy Lady”.
She tells a story that illuminates where the title may have come from. “He used to call every pet we had ‘Foxy’,” she says. One time, they found a kitten on the street and took it in; Jimi immediately named it Foxy. Later on, they bought a poodle; he named that Foxy, too. He was also in the habit of using the word in other ways: “He used to like to refer to good-looking girls as foxy. Or if I put on certain things, he’d say, ‘Wow, you look foxy in that.’”
So wrapped up was she in her own story with Jimi, she never thought for a minute the songs with which he found fame could be about her. She thinks it would make her sound “cocky” if she claimed they were now. “He was always saying: ‘This is about you. I wrote this about you,’” she says. “I just thought it was cute.”
“Jimi would have settled down with Fayne,” says Williams. “I don’t see any other woman that he’d have settled down with – but Fayne was not about to settle down. If Fayne had said: ‘Look, I want you to leave all of these women alone and we’re going to do this,’ he would have done it.”
“Well, he might have,” Lithofayne laughs, “but that would have been dumb.”
Williams is adamant that Lithofayne, the only constant in his life from the time he first hit New York in 1963 through the seven years until he died, was the one person among his circle of intimates who superseded all others. “All of these girls that think they had a part of this man’s heart need to know that his whole heart belonged to Lithofayne Pridgon,” she says. “But he couldn’t get it.”
Her time with Hendrix, in particular, weighs heavily on her, sometimes too heavily. Over the years, friends and acquaintances have suggested things might have turned out different if only she had acceded to his demands. “In other words, if I had stopped being me and become somebody else,” she says. “Oh my God, that’s too much responsibility.” But she believes in her heart that “‘ole coulda-shoulda-woulda shit” is just a losing game.
I think Mon-El became aware of his romantic feelings when he and Kara were imprisoned at Cadmus together and she risked her life to save his. Maybe he found her attractive before, but at this point he got to experience her heroism and courage personally and right after that, asked Winn and Jimmy about if she was mated to anyone and about how mating customs worked on Earth.
To me, I think this indicates that his feelings are serious and his intentions are long term. While he may not know about all of Earth’s dating customs, he is usually pretty confident with girls. I don’t think he wants to just date or sleep with Kara; I think he thinks she is THE ONE. He wants to marry/mate with her for life. But he doesn’t think she feels the same way so he keeps it himself. And as he says later, he’s never felt this way about anyone else before and I don’t think he quite knows what to do. He’s terrified so he hides how he feels. I think he also thinks she has already made up her mind about him so he respects her enough not to put his feelings on her without some indication that she might feel the same.
At Thanksgiving, she becomes aware that he might be feeling something when Eliza tells her that he was being extra nice because he liked her. He made a super sweet toast to Kara, but still didn’t push his romantic feelings on her. I think this is when she started to reciprocate with her own feelings of attraction a little too but she wasn’t open to having a relationship yet so she wouldn’t have been open to receiving his affection anyway. (Side Note: I think Mon-El can read Kara way better than anyone gives him credit for but that’s a post for another day.)
Later when he was sick and they were playing Monopoly Kara asked him if he LIKED her and while he wouldn’t straight up lie, he dodged the question three times and three different ways to give the impression that he wasn’t interested. Why? He didn’t think she felt the same way and didn’t want to put himself out there or add pressure or weirdness to the situation.
It wasn’t until he was delirious with fever and thought he was going to die that he found the courage to kiss her… and he was super slow and obvious about it to make sure she was open to it. She knew what he was doing and could have dodged it if she wanted to and she didn’t. She kissed him back instead. But, when he was better again and she wanted to talk about it, he denied remembering it at all so that he didn’t have to own up to his feelings. You know he remembered because when she asked if they were going to talk about what happened between them he said, “Why, what did I do?” and when Kara didn’t tell him, they both pretended like it hadn’t happened because it was easier than facing that something was starting to develop between them.
When they start working together his little weakness started to show because he would make stupid decisions in the field in order to protect Kara instead of letting her hold her own ground - which resulted in her calling him out about kissing her when he was sick and asking him again if he liked her.
This is what finally gets him to confess. He is clearly so nervous about it and comes to her apartment tell her how he feels - because she asked that he tell her- and then he asks her if they can move forward as partners since he believes she doesn’t feel the same way. He high fives her and leaves her apartment with no expectations that she reciprocate his feelings or enter into a relationship with her after putting himself out there in an extremely vulnerable (and romantic) way. He just asks that they ignore it and move forward since he had been honest as she had asked.
And oh, the next part is so brutal. When she tells him in the bar that even if she had time to date she wouldn’t date him because of “the way that he is.” You can just hear his heart getting crushed all over the floor.. and then he just says “I’m going to go over there” in a complete panic flight move like he cannot handle being in the conversation any more because it is too painful. This is what he had been afraid of- what he had already felt deep down- that he wasn’t good enough for her and that she still couldn’t see past her first impression of him enough to give him a chance. This is part of why he didn’t tell her before- and when he confessed as she had asked, this is what he got in return. Ouch.
Kara didn’t mean to hurt him and she knew that her words came out wrong but it wasn’t until her conversation with Alex that she realized she did actually like him and wanted to give him a chance.
And by then he had moved onto Self Preservation Attempt #362 by asking Eve out - moving on with the girl who had been totally into him when he first arrived… and he can’t even make it work with her because he can’t shut up about Kara long enough for one lousy lunch date.
But in Self Preservation Attempt #363 he leads Kara to believe that he and Eve are still dating so that he doesn’t have to look like the pathetic rejected loser that he feels like inside. And this gives him the confidence to try to continue the friendship with Kara- to show up while she’s training with his confident exterior and basically call her out on avoiding him and say that he misses training with her. And when she first says she was mad because she thought he was dating Eve (revealing that she knew he really wasn’t) he completely lost his armor and got so vulnerable again and couldn’t look at her for a minute and it took him a good long while to get around to asking about why in the world she would be mad because he was too focused on the fact that she knew he couldn’t date anyone else because he was too hung up on her.
His face when Kara tells him that she doesn’t want to “woulda, coulda, shoulda” anymore is so priceless. He gets this little glimmer of hope and then as she keeps talking the glimmer gets bigger and bigger and then when she hits him with her comet eyes and says “Maybe I can have it all,” he is literally stunned speechless. And there is this moment where she finally FINALLY returns his feelings and wants to try a relationship with him, and she leans in to kiss him, and… Mr. Mxyzptlk shows up.
Mon-El acted pretty jealous and insecure with Mxy. Out of context of the rest of this romantic journey it seems completely over the top how he saw Mxy as a serious romantic threat while Kara and the audience just saw him as more of nuisance to get rid of. He also seemed threatened by how Mxy could give Kara anything she wanted at the snap of his fingers, which also seems a little over the top until you consider that he probably used to be that guy back on Daxam. Remember he told Kara he had taken a girl to the crystal planet once… he had the ability to give a girl anything or take her anywhere and impress her, and it always worked. And now he just has… himself. And he’s on pretty shaky ground regarding how Kara feels about him since she’s only barely told him she’s interested. And Mxy wants everything HE wants with Kara and puts her in a wedding dress and proposes with a big diamond on bended knee. Kara isn’t really impressed by those big displays and wants to get back to Mon-El instead but he can’t quite believe that yet and so he gets insanely jealous and tries to get rid of Mxy as fast as he can by challenging Mxy to a battle to the death for Kara’s hand - again a completely old fashioned approach that probably reflects how such things were handled on Daxam. Not only does he lose, but Kara is angry with him for getting involved and tells him AGAIN that it’s not going to work out between them. And he is crushed yet again but apologizes and respects her wishes and leaves so that she can go marry Mxy.
Post-Mxy, he comes back to her apartment only to apologize and tell her she’s awesome, but with no expectation of anything romantic happening between them. He says he’s sorry, that he was out of line and tries to leave. Kara stops him by moving RIGHT in front of him and flashes him the comet eyes again, and you can just see him trying to figure it out WHAT is going on because her body language is saying “take me now” but didn’t she just break up with him? So he takes a big breath and tries to tell her how he is listening to her and respects that she doesn’t think they belong together… until she says that she tricked him too and she really does want him after all. This poor guy. Seriously. And he keeps clarifying and clarifying until he is absolutely certain of what she wants. And only then does he kiss her and she kisses him back with equal passion and urgency, and they both finally just let go of their fears and tumble down this rabbit hole together.
You showed no signs of hurt when you walked into school that following Monday. You didn’t tell anyone of your run-in with Spider-Man or why you didn’t show up to Homecoming. The only one to ask was Ned and you just shrugged your shoulders at him. “I didn’t want to go.”, you had said, and he believed you. Peter would have too if he hadn’t had that conversation with you. You were incredibly good at masking things, and he hated that he couldn’t read you better. He hated that he didn’t try harder to be able to read you better.
He especially hated that it would take Spider-Man for him to be able to understand you. Spider-Man wasn’t close friends with you- Peter was, but he knew he messed that up. So Spider-Man had to help him out.
A woman or Madi Scott in this case is NOT a fucking beard if the man she’s fucking is straight! I cannot stay quiet and let that bit of ignorance stand. Idngaf about the coulda/woulda/shoulda. If you want to think what makes you happy, fine. Its your choice. But cannonically, Long John Silver is straight, who has been with two WOMEN on the show. In the book he is straight. Nothing besides inference by FANS has said otherwise. Ship and let ship has always been my motto but dont you DARE desexualize a woman, nevermind an AA woman by calling her a beard just to make you feel better. Its childish and offensive and for people who are supposedly progressive a step backwards because if you value sexuality over sexual gender bias JUST to fulfill selfish desires then you are WRONG. So terribly wrong. Madi Scott is a strong, sexually attractive, fierce woman of whom John Silver has been in an intimate relationship for quite some time and for whom Silver marries. This is the story. The rest until seen otherwise is fan fic. Give her due or not but don’t USE her by disregarding her importance especially when its how Silver sees her. Not to mention Luke Arnold is all about his ship that becomes a part of the person who IS Long John Silver