- 1 (one) moment of clarity (subject to availability)
- the desert
- ¼ Ib ground beef
- salt, pepper
* preferably an old, abiding one that you were damned sure true love was going to eradicate this time around
Take blazing August morning and position itchy mouth and hot ocean anywhere within. Cough and clear throat (should taste like tar). Roll your slackened, puffy body onto the body of your loved one. Using your semi-hard-on, attempt to make display of virility and imperviousness to hot ocean of brown liquor in your stomach.
Next, drive across town in absurd vehicle and, using your $60, buy 2 (two) rounds of lattes at historic Hollywood hotel for you and loved one. Place marbles in mouth and attempt to describe inexplicable, looming dread.
Note: Lavish diversions will provide no significant relief from ILD
Take his/her suggestion to make a trip to the desert. No one will be there as it is August and hot as all get out.
While in the desert, rapidly alternate between fey attempts at your best impression of a “happy-go-lucky” disposition and the black, all-consuming desolation you feel. Convince yourself that in order to maintain the affection and respect of loved one you must anesthetize, and condescend to, your own pain.
Using your intellect, isolate yourself from the legitimacy of your experiences (see: Mommy, God, etc). Keep believing that self-deprecating jokes and self-analysis are effective ways to 1.) appear in control and maintain aforementioned affection and respect from loved one and 2.) minimize true intimacy which would definitely, according to your fear, result in loved one realizing what a, like, characterless, weak, emotionally stunted little shit you are. Simultaneously, use the ego to nourish pain and establish its singular, unique nature in all cases applicable to you.
Repeat until you feel fucking crazy.
Note: You are fucking crazy. The world is fucking crazy. Our appetites and needs and fears are all fucking crazy. Until you realize this for yourself you will remain incapable of taking refuge in, or even identifying with another person who realizes the same.
With loved one, aimlessly walk into desert. Just keep walking and walking.
Climb up on to a gigantic rock.
Watch as loved one walks further and further away until he/she is about pocket-sized. Watch them crawl up onto a gigantic rock.
Wave at each other - note how small the other person’s insecurities, doubt, and pain appear to you, and conversely, how small yours must appear to them.
Savour moment of clarity and accompanying dissipation of isolation and dread.
Note: You in fact have not walked very far but have simply just made one gigantic lap around the rental house. You laugh maniacally.
You are now very hungry. Take ¼ Ib ground beef and vigorously knead in salt and pepper with clean hands. Form into patties and grill over an open flame to your preference.
words-from-the-heart26: hello Bonnie ;U; maybe
when you have time could you please write a
Tony stark / reader where the reader is an avenger and she and Tony are
in a relationship , the reader is introvert and prefer spend time with Tony in
less eccentrics places , like parks , theaters , cinemas , etc. but he likes to
spoil the reader taking her to nice/ elegant / expensive places and she is
feels very uncomfortable in that kind of place, but she doesn´t want to tell
him; the things get worse when some women
tell her that he is just with her because he wants to forget Pepper and
she is just with him because she wants his money.
Tony’s parties were just about the worst thing that you
could think to do with your free time. You
loathed the attention you received as his girlfriend; random women staring at
you as you passed by, whether you were on his arm or not, the occasional
overheard comment that they thought was whispered quietly enough, and the realization
that not everyone was happy for you.
When you agreed to go on that very first date with your teammate, you
knew full well that if the two of you grew into a relationship together, that
these things would come with the territory.
What you didn’t realize was how much it would actually affect you.