couch stains

australian politics atm:

malcolm turnbull: ????????????????????
bill shorten: women deserving equal rights isn’t a difficult concept you bunch of couch stains???
pauline hanson: i dont hate people that arent as White™ (very) as me, i just dont want them near me at any point in time
clive palmer: egg egg you better beg for a groggy doggy bad boy good boy dim-sim tim-tam only one a day how sad

;you know?

KyungsooXReader
Summary: You are in reciprocal love with Kyungsoo, a boy with bruised knees who has some problems at home and proposed to run away, but you refuse at first.
Warnings: English is not my first language! Sorry for any mistakes, I’m writing to learn.

word count: 1014


Originally posted by glorious-soobooty

In hopes you would call, the boy sat on the abandoned couch that stood on the highway, his black ripped jeans showing his bruised knees with red stains matching with the couch. He sighed. The couch stains was from the wine he drank, the ones on his knees was from the stupid things he did at midnight. It was already three in the morning, cars but mainly busses and trucks darted through the asphalt street that was out of lights.

He sighed for the second time, feeling the nostalgia boil on his heart as he thought about you. His hands met his legs as he brought his knees to his chest. But soon, his mother’s screaming and his father’s pitiful face snaped him out of his track of thoughts. He needed you to call, he depended on it. But he couldn’t take his pride out of his pockets and tell you to “please, come over”. He just felt like a burden even though his sad eyes shining with love and adoration were your safe place.

Soon, he felt like you didn’t cared. You knew that he was out on the street, but didn’t bothered to call or show up. He wanted your affection and attention. He wanted you to understand.

His phone didn’t rang for a long time while he saw the city lights on the horizon. He was ready to stand up and walk away. He sighed for the last time before sliding his legs out of the couch, but he felt your touch. The cold hands slithered through his back and pulled him close to welcome your scent. All he could see was your neck and hair, taking him in as he squeezed your waist between his arms.

“I needed you so, so bad, honey.” He whispered with a cracking voice. Tears already spilled out while the image of his father defending him from the mean comments his mother did about him replayed on and on in dark shades and blurs.

He kissed your neck lightly, and this sent shivers down your spine. Your heart boiled and longed for the broken boy. You never felt this intimate with him, it was the first time he held you so warmly and it was the first kiss he gave you anywhere. You cupped his face and dried his tears, putting your thumb across his plump heart-shaped lips, remembering a thing he said he wanted a while ago. To go away with you. He looked at you in awe and desperation, trying to figure out what were you doing to him. You held his hand.

“Soo. I think i want you to take me away. Take me with you, to that place you were talking about. You said you were only in this town for me didn’t you? Pack you things and take me.”

The suddenness startled the boy, who looked in your eyes for a hint of a joke. He didn’t found it. His brows were furrowed and his look was sad. “Don’t joke around like this. it hurts, you know?”

“I’m not joking. I want you to be by my side. Please. Take me with you, Kyungsoo.”

“I hope you are not faking it and-”

“No, Soo. Take me.”

“Why do you want to leave?”, he said, not trusting you and what seemed like a sweet and painful joke.

“I… I think that I need you by my side. I just got tired. Tired of being able to be close, but not with you. I mean, i know you love me. You know i love you. Why are we still acting like we don’t have each other? I need you the most. You need me. We can make it together. I will take you away. Please.” you said close to his lips.

“My mother… She-”

“She won’t mind, because she doesn’t know how wonderful you are, Kyungsoo. I want you, you know?”

His eyes were traveling to all the sides of your face. You kissed him without warning, making him melt like ice on your arms, slowly. He kissed you back and soon he pulled away lightly.

“It’s so sweet, i need more” He said with a needy breath. He got back, hungry and weak for you. Your grip on his shirt took every thought out of his mind but the one that lingered. Why didn’t he kissed you earlier? In the end of the kiss all he thought about was how he wanted to take you away. So, with a determinated look, he held your hand tightly.

“I’ll pack my things. We will walk out this morning. Go home and take everything you got out of your family’s house. We are going somewhere we can love each other without this sadness. Let them stay with that.” He kissed you again for a longer time. His hands felt warm for roaming around your body for so long. You two stood up, running to your houses, to find a home.

Your father yelled at you, but your pride didn’t let you look at him. You sister stood there with an amused look on her face, and you finished stuffing you things on your bag and suitcase. You walked to the door, not before looking at your mother making bad comments about you not being able to find a man. Soon, you felt a grip on your hand.

“Excuse me, mistress. I fear you are being delusional. I’m the one who is taking her away.”

Your sister gasped, looking at him all the way down. She smiled, but his cold gaze made her stop.

“Do you think i will act like the other guys that you steal? I’m not that blind. Tell you mother to stop talking shit. Honey, come on, we’ll lose the journey” he chuckles loudly and pulls you away.

His smile was so alive and bright that you were sure. While you both ran by the street towards his car and his laugh ecoed down the highway with your father’s screams on the background, everything was going to be alright, you know.

anonymous asked:

Dj!Beka working an underground party, slightly buzzed (but not nearly as drunk as his baby boy, who is on a couch near his boyfriend's tables) gazing over at yura with half-lidded eyes and a small smirk as he slows down the track to something much more sensual, subtly grinding his hips forward—in a way that only his baby could see— in tight skinny jeans so that Yura can see everything, making his baby whine from where he's sitting as he squeezes his thighs together desperately~ -KittyKittyYuri

if this is the ask that keeps me from heaven, i would willingly walk through hell.

the song is something by marian hill because yuri loves them and beka knows that their songs make him weak. they’ve fucked to so many of them before. there’s yuri, sitting on a stained couch at a party, trying not to cum from the memory.

anonymous asked:

how many times do u think theyve stained that couch

i could answer this message like “SHUT THEF UCK UP…….STO..P….” but im going to be honest with you tumblr dot com, that was my thought process when i saw that gifset too

Watch on fangasmsoh.tumblr.com

He was so hard, it was almost painful. His mind had been racing with thoughts of you as he sat through endless meetings. All he wanted was to be buried inside you, but he knew you weren’t home. You had things to do all week, so he’d have to fend for himself.

The minute he got in the door, he scrolled through his phone, finding his favorite naughty messages you had sent him.

Daddy, I’m throbbing for you…:(

Wish you could feel me right now. You’d be so proud of how wet I am.

His hand was already on his crotch, massaging himself over his boxers. He let his mind wander to how wet you could for him. His couch still had a stain to prove it. He lost himself in the thought of how warm you felt around his straining cock. Of how tight you were, that he still had to take his time when he starts entering you. He quickly flipped from his messages to his voicemails, having saved a couple of dirty, drunk slurs from you.

“Daddy, I’ve been so bad tonight. I went out drinking with the girls, but all I talked about was you. About how you’re gonna wanna spank me because I’ve been so naughty. Mmmmm, my pussy is already soaked for you baby.”

He groaned, loving the sound of those dirty words leaving your mouth. His hand was beneath his boxers, gripped around his length as he stroked it. He thought back to the day after he received that message. How you showed up with nothing on under your leggings and long shirt. How you were so eager for your Daddy to punish you. The way you were dripping as he spanked you, he hadn’t even properly touched you. The way you looked, begging on your knees for him to let you take his cock into your pretty pink mouth.

His breathing labored as he pumped himself closer. His mind flashed through images of you against a wall, bent over his desk, riding him in his car. His face was flushed, moans and whines escaping him as he finished off to the thought of you.

You were gonna be so in for it when you got home.

Commissions are OPEN!!! 10$ Headshots 15$ Chibis

I recently got a job for the fall and I am going to start my career. (yay)  I’m going to move pretty far away and I want to draw commissions a lot this summer in order to pay for things in my new apartment, so I can make it into a home.

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Henry Tells a Secret

Dr. Spencer Reid was babysitting; he had JJ’s four-year-old, Henry, at his apartment for the evening and was having quite the time handling him. You knew this because Spencer had called you 4 times between 6pm and 8pm to ask if things were allowed, if certain foods would stain a couch and what type of shows/stories/games could keep kids entertained for “more than five minutes Y/N”. You could just picture the adorable genius completely perplexed and wanting to give in to Henry’s every wish but significantly concerned with harming the child. It was the first time JJ had let him babysit and he wanted everything to go perfectly. Judging by the look of his living room, Henry’s stained clothes and all the sugar they’d consumed, he figured he should lower his expectations.

You loved Spencer, more than he knew and more than you were willing to admit to yourself. It wasn’t that you didn’t think he’d want to date you- you honestly weren’t sure if you could handle dating someone who was so shy with women. You thrived off affection and really enjoyed the physical aspects of a relationship- Reid didn’t seem ready for any of that. He was too innocent and sweet. Still, you were close friends and you’d been wondering if you should go over and help him out when his name lit up your phone again.

“Reid?” you answered, trying to mask the laughter in your voice.

“Aun-tie Y/N!” came a giggly little voice instead.

“Hi Henry! What did you do to your Uncle Spencer?” you asked, wondering if you should be getting in the car immediately.

“Un-cuh Pencer’s sleeeeeeping,” Henry giggled again, “he sleep tellin’ me my story!”  

“Is that so?” you asked, grabbing your keys and the spare key to Spencer’s apartment. You didn’t want Henry to wake Spencer, but an awake 4 year old could ruin an apartment and get into some trouble.

“Yeah! He told me a seeeeecret too!” Henry told you excitedly as you got into your car.  He had just learned what a secret was and was constantly asking people to tell him secrets, “about YOU!” Henry was giggling like crazy and even though you knew it was probably nothing, you were curious. You wanted to keep him talking until you made the short trip there.

“And what’s that?” you asked as you turned the corner and got onto Spencer’s street.

“Can’t tell! Is a seeeecret!” Henry exclaimed, pausing, “ok I tell”. Kids.

“What is it Henry?”  you asked again, parking in Spencer’s driveway.

“Un-cuh Pencer loveses you” Henry giggled and you rolled your eyes because of course you your best friend loved you. Then Henry continued “like daddy loves momma!” You stopped walking up to the door, surprised. 

Had Spencer really explained it to Henry like that? You swore you could feel your heart speed up but you ignored it. Spencer was too sweet for you, right? That had always been your reason for not confessing your feelings so it couldn’t be different if he liked you too, right? You started walking again, turning the key softly and opening the door. Henry ran into your arms and you carried him into the living room, where you found Spencer- sprawled on the couch, his limbs hanging off, completely asleep. What an angel.

I’m Here Too

Originally posted by koarea

Member: Exo Suho/Junmyeon

Type: Smut

You didn’t notice the weak smile on his face as he rubbed your back gently, probably becuase you were so worried about tomorrow. Your entire Saturday was spent making the house spotless; with washing the curtains, cleaning the unused ceiling fan, and removing that tiny stain that had plagued your couch of over a year, you didn’t have much time for anything else. 

Junmyeon nudged you again, gesturing to the plates of cold food on the dining table. You were still adamantly scrubbing the grape-sized couch stain that was ever so slowly fading and you weren’t willing to stop yet. He spoke gently, “Jagiya, the house looks perfect. Please stop cleaning, you’re going to be too tired tomorrow to enjoy the party.”

You and Junmyeon has volunteered to host your sister’s baby shower since your sister’s place was under construction. After that, you’d been paranoid about keeping the house spotless. You wanted everything perfect, and you’d spent the last week ordering the best foods, flowers, desserts and even hiring a cleaning service. That cleaning service, however, cancelled last minute.

With that, you ended up on your hands and knees, scrubbing floors and doing all the labor yourself as Junmyeon was out picking up all the decorations and snacks. You had been cleaning for hours and when Junmyeon got home, you still weren’t stopping. Junmyeon busied himself with attempting to throw together an edible dinner as you scrubbed like hell.

And that one stupid little stain still wasn’t going away. 

“Just give me a few more minutes,” you muttered, lifting your cloth to see the spot a bit more faded than before. Junmyeon kept rubbing your back soothingly, but you were lost in your mission to remove the stain. “How did this get here anyways? It’s causing me so much trouble…”

“I don’t think anyone will notice a little stain. Come on, we’ve been working all day, I want to eat with you now,” he encouraged, his hand taking your forearm to try and pull you away, but you only waved him off with your hand and continued scrubbing, oblivious to his exasperated sigh. “Pay some attention to me,” you thought you heard him mumble, but the stain was so close to being almost unnoticeable and you didn’t want to-

Two strong arms suddenly wrapped around you from where you were crouching on the ground and pulled you into a firm chest from behind. Your cleaning supplies dropped to the ground in front of you as you fell back, your hands moving to cover the ones around your waist. Junmyeon was sitting behind you, his legs spread so you could fit neatly between them. 

“Yah, I just need five more-” you were cut off by Junmyeon’s mouth planting kisses on your shoulder and trailing them up your neck, stopping to nibble at your skin there. 

His breathing felt hot on your skin and you gasped as his kisses turned into nips and bites. He whispered from behind you, “You’ve been so obsessed with this shower…you forgot me.” You felt him plant a kiss behind your ear as he continued, “I miss you.” He took your earlobe between his teeth as his arms tightened around you, clamping you to him. 

You let out a soft moan as he continued to pamper you neck, taking his sweet time while you felt your face flush and the wetness begin to pool between you legs. 

“Hey,” you breathed, turning your head to look at him. You felt a chill run down your spine as you saw his dark expression; he was biting his bottom lip and his chest was rising and falling as he took deep breaths as he stared at you, his eyes dark with lust. You reached up to touch his cheek softly as you spoke, “Have I been neglecting you that much?”

He raised a brow as he watched you before he let the ghost of a smile appear on his face, replying, “You’ve been too busy for me and I’ve been helping you too and…Yah, I’ve been holding back all week, just shush for a bit.” As the words left his mouth crashed against yours, his lips enveloping yours in a deep kiss and you gasped, giving his tongue room to slide in. 

You moaned into the kiss and tried turning your body to face him, but his arms remained around your waist, locking you in. You pulled away to crane your neck to look at him and he smirked, his lips dropping to your ear as he whispered, “Just stay like this today jagiya.” 

You opened your mouth to protest but instead you let out a moan as Junmyeon’s lips went back to your neck, nipping and sucking at you as your breathing grew heavier. You felt one of his hands loosen around you and trail down your stomach to your core. He pressed his thumb against your clothed center, rubbing up and down your slit as you held tightly onto his arm around you getting lost in the feeling of his touch. 

His other arm loosened around you as well to go under your shirt, pushing under your bra to play with one of your nipples as his other hand continued against your clit. You moaned again, our head thrown back against his shoulder as his lips continued attacking your neck. 

“Ju- oh,” you began softly, trying to speak through your puffs of hot breath. “You’re…gonna leave a mark…” you managed to get out as your breathing hitched. You felt him smile against your skin as he nipped you again, his teeth sinking into you and you knew it was most definitely leaving a mark. 

“I thought I told you to hush,” he muttered, and you could feel his grin against your ear as he buried his face in your hair. His hand at your chest moved down, joining the other one at your clit to push down your shorts and panties. “Hmm,” he hummed, a finger running up your slit then pulling away to show you. His finger was sticky with your wetness and you felt the area pulse as he spoke, “You’re always so wet for me. I missed it.” 

His voice was a growling whisper and you almost screamed as he plunged two fingers into you, your hips bucking up into his touch. His other arm was back around your waist and you felt yourself being pulled down to the floor with him. Your back was still pulled against his chest as you layed on your side with him behind you. As his fingers fucked you, you wanted to turn and look at him but his arm was locked around you. 

“Don’t move,” you heard him growl before his arm left your waist and his fingers left your core. Your insides clenched around nothingness as you waited, hearing the ruffling of clothes behind you before you felt his body press against you again, the tip of his hard member gliding against your slit. “You’re so wet, I-” he groaned before plunging into you, making you scream as he set a fast pace, his thrusts pushing him deeper and deeper into you. 

You felt his arm wrap around you as he burried his face in your neck, his hips moving fast and hard as you whimpered in his arms. You felt yourself building too fast and as you tightened around him, reaching your orgasm too soon as he continued thrusting into you. You rode out your high as he groaned, feeling you tighten around him but as soon as it was over you felt too sensitive, and every small movement he made felt like too much. 

His breathing grew ragged and by your whimpers he knew you couldn’t handle any more. He groaned, pulling away and moving you onto your back, jerking off above you. You opened your eyes to see him watching you with hooded eyes, his member painfully hard as he managed one more pull before spilling onto your stomach. 

You blinked up at him, suddenly too tired and too sensitive as he dropped next to you, his hand moving to pull your face close to his so he could press his lips to yours softly. As you caught your breath, your murmured an apology against his lips, making him smile.

His fingers ran down your cheek to your neck, where you hissed as he touched the sensitive skin. “You may need to wear a scarf for tomorrow’s baby shower,” he chuckled, and you groaned, burying your face in his neck. 

You moved again, looking back down at your now-sticky stomach. Looking up at him your shrugged, “Well at least we didn’t leave a stain anywhere else.” 

Mobile Masterlist

Dadbod: Part 7

Click here to read parts 1 - 6

I woke up with a massive boner and excitedly stumbled down the stairs to have sex with Kevin. What I saw when I got to the couch elicited mixed emotions of shock, dismay, and arousal. Kevin was sprawled on the couch, pizzas gone, and the faint smell of body odor filling the room. His skin was greasy and his pit-stained tank top rode up to reveal bright red stretch marks across his lower belly. This development happened over night. His facial hair was beginning to leave “scruffy” territory and developing into a messy beard that surrounded bright pink lips emanating a monstrous snore. Next to him, a massive splattering of jizz stained the couch. Altogether, Kevin looked like a fat, dirty, mess of a piglet.

“Well look at you,” I proclaimed, stirring Kevin from his sleep.

“Mmph,” he grunted, “Thanks for the BJ last night.”

“Excuse me? I didn’t suck you off last night. That must have been a pretty hot dream though judging from the stain you left on the couch,” I nodded towards his dried up load.

“Huh? Oh Jesus, my wife’s gonna kill me.” His gaze drifted from the couch to his rounded out belly. “The fuck? Are these stretch marks? Oh man am I in for it when she gets back.”

“Well there’s no turning back now,” I said. “I’ve spread out almost all the remaining food in the dining room. We have to get all that inside of you before tomorrow morning. I’m not sure if it’s possible.”

Kevin lumbered to the dining room and proclaimed, “Oh shit! Good thing my stomach is growling after last night.”

For the next few hours Kevin plowed through all the food he could get his hands on. At this point, there was no denying his appetite had increased. He seemed so focused and was making such progress that I didn’t dare interrupt his feeding for our hourly ice cream chugs. He began to slow down but there was still more than enough food to last us into the night. Eventually, he grabbed three pints of half-melted ice cream and plopped down on the couch. He began spooning the creamy substance into his mouth and I didn’t say a word. It was clear there was no stopping Kevin from completing this challenge. Once the final drop of ice cream was gone, he leaned back and fell into a deep sleep.

I let Kevin snooze on the couch for the next few hours while I toiled away in the kitchen preparing the last of our food stuffs. When I was done, the table was covered with the following: one bowl consisting of three boxes of mac n cheese, a towering burrito bowl and tortilla chips, half a chocolate cake, a pitcher and a half of beer, and a dozen donuts. There was also two pints of ice cream left. Once I was finished, I woke Kevin up to feed him some ice cream.

“Can I just eat it normally?” He said.

I agreed and brought him a spoon. I sat on the couch next to him and in a surprising act of intimacy, Kevin ruffed up my hair and kissed my temple.

“These have been a crazy few days, Brad,” he said.

I was taken aback. I couldn’t recall Kevin saying my name once since we met. Even on his phone my contact was saved as “Twink Feeder.”

“I mean, look at me,” he continued. “I’m a fat mess.”

“Eh, there’s always room to grow,” I chuckled.

“Seriously, I’ve never been this heavy in my life. I’m loving it, too. Especially how soft this fat pad is getting… I’ve never experienced that.”

“I know I’m biased, but it really does suit you. You have a solid build to carry the extra weight.”

“Thanks, man. Couldn’t have done it without you. For real. Although the wife is gonna freak,” Kevin chuckled and there was a brief moment of silence after. “You know,” he paused again. “We’re having another kid. She’s pregnant again.”

“Oh, um.” I didn’t know what to say. “Congratulations?”

Kevin laughed, “Sorry, didn’t mean to drop that on you, man. It’s of no interest to you I guess.”

“No, thanks for telling me,” I said. “So… I just… I’m curious. Your wife is really okay with all this? Gaining? Fucking boys? Sorry, I know it’s none of my business but it’s just so unusual.”

“Yeah, she’s always known I was bi and we each step out for some extracurricular fun now and again. The gaining however… that’s a secret. She has no idea and I’d like to keep it that way. Understand?”

“Totally! Makes sense. Stop me if I’m prying, but knowing that now… how did she react that night after the buffet?”

“That’s quite the story, actually,” Kevin began, “So I had told the ball and chain that I was going for a jog and would pick up my prescription while I was out. I figured this would buy me enough time for our little stuffing session. So, as you know, I left the buffet with my fat ass hanging out of a rip in my shorts, but I couldn’t just skip the pharmacy. So I go inside, belly hanging out, pants ripped, bloated beyond belief, and, naturally, I run into my old baseball teammate from high school. He, of course, was slim and muscular as ever. When he saw me he had to do a double take. He looked right by me at first! We chatted for a bit and I made sure to keep my ass facing the opposite direction. I was surprised when he grabbed the roll of fat that was hanging out of my shirt and made a comment about how I shouldn’t still be wearing clothes from high school. This made my dick chub up a bit, which I think he noticed, because afterward he squeezed my side, leaned in, and told me I looked hotter than ever. I gave him a slap on the ass and told him I’d be in touch, then walked away to give him a view of my fat, naked ass. I’d always assumed he was gay.”

“That can’t be true,” I muttered.

“One hundred percent. And when I got home, everyone was asleep. I peeled of my shirt and tossed the pants in the trash can outside. When I got in bed I was told I smelled like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. I cuddled up to her with my belly pushed into her lower back. She turned around and said: ‘Seriously, Kevin? Feels like you jogged straight to McDonald’s. You’re bloated beyond belief, you’ve really gotta slow down on the food.’ And that was it. After that, we just fell asleep. I had a massive boner of course.”

“Fuck.” I said. “Now I have one too.”

“Then let’s eat,” Kevin grinned. “This tank needs to be filled.”

He got up to head to the dining room and I pushed him back onto the couch, which let out a creaking noise.

“Stay here pig. You’ll get your food delivered straight to your mouth,” I said.

I started with the mac ‘n cheese. I used a serving spoon to shovel mound after mound of gooey pasta into his mouth. It was gone in less than fifteen minutes. I started in on the burrito bowl and chips next but Kevin soon became frustrated with the process. He grabbed the bag of chips and crushed them into pieces. After pouring them all over the bowl, he grabbed the serving spoon and began to feed himself. His cock was rock hard and pulsing beneath my fingers. Once the bowl was licked clean he began grabbing the chunks that had fallen onto his shirt and popping them into his mouth. Before digging into the chocolate cake, he peeled off his tank top and gave his gut a slap.

“Rub my tank, boy,” Kevin demanded.

I did as I was told while he tore through the cake and started in on the donuts. After a couple donuts he also began sloshing back the beer. I’d never seen a man chug carbonated liquid so effortlessly before. I was captivated by my feeding piggy and couldn’t help but suck and lick all the sweaty creases of his belly. His cock was beginning to smell from not taking a shower for so long and it drove me wild. I grabbed his fat pad like a sandwich and sucked and explored it with my tongue. My dick was dripping with precum when Kevin finally finished the remainder of the food on the table and let out a massive belch.

The skin of his belly was stretched taught and his stretch marks looked painfully red. I was shocked that Kevin had depleted the remainder of the food in the house but I still had a couple tricks up my sleeve. I pushed Kevin onto his back and reached behind the couch to grab the funnel and a couple pints of double fudge ice cream I had hidden. I strapped him up and hoisted his chubby legs into the air. Easing my cock into his smelly hole, I began to pour the ice cream. The more he moaned the faster my thrusts became. I was on the edge of busting a nut when Kevin swallowed the last drop of ice cream, ripped off the funnel, and flipped me onto my back.

“You want your hole filled with grimy pig cock?” He said while sliding his dick into me.

I moaned and nodded. His dick felt amazing inside my ass and his distended tummy rubbed my cock with each thrust. His stink was overwhelming and I could taste chunks of food still in his beard. He was hitting just the right spot and I was so aroused that I couldn’t even touch my cock in fear I would instantly come. As his pace quickened I noticed that not only did his belly bounce, but so did his chubby pecs, thighs, and arms. He wrapped his hands around my neck and began to squeeze my throat as he pounded away at my hole. Our moans were reaching increasingly high decibel levels when there was a sudden CRACK and we each tumbled off the couch. Kevin landed on the coffee table causing it to fall flat to the ground, remnants of food exploding out from underneath him.

We looked towards the couch to see what had happened and one of the wooden legs had snapped beneath the weight of our fucking. There was a slight moment of shock before we each were even more aroused than before. I climbed back on top of Kevin’s pulsing, fat cock and strapped the funnel to his face, pouring the final pint of ice cream down his greedy throat. Only half the pint got down before it slipped from my hands and covered us in a dark, creamy sludge. I wrapped my lips around Kevin’s slight double chin while he continued to pound my ass. My dick was trapped between my torso and his beer gut and the motion of his thrusting caused me to release a massive load of jizz between our sticky, sweaty, bodies. Almost immediately afterward Kevin busted his nut inside of me. Exhausted, I lay limp on top of his bloated body. A mess of sticky ice cream, food remnants, and snapped wood surrounded us.

I shut my eyes and awoke five hours later as Kevin lifted me off of him. We each stood up and looked around in awe.

“Okay,” Kevin paused, “my wife returns in a few hours. You will clean up all the food and scrub all the surfaces. I’ll make a quick fix to the couch and then run to Wal-Mart to replace the coffee table.”

It was exhausting work, but after hours of toiling away the house looked good as new, Kevin was showered and it was time for me to go home. Kevin and I stood in the entryway facing each other.

“Well,” Kevin began, “this has without a doubt been the sexiest few days of my life. I mean, not a single shirt in this closet covers my gut anymore.”

“Guess it’s time for some new clothes,” I grinned, “because I want to keep stuffing you until you’re twice this size.”

“About that,” Kevin said.

My heart dropped. This couldn’t be the end of things.

“We can’t keep seeing each other,” he continued. “I have another baby on the way, and I need to be in shape for my children. I can’t overstate how amazing this has been, but I need to lead a healthy life for my kids. Tomorrow, I’m starting a diet.”

2

Imagine: Watching a movie with Crowley.

(Crowley X Demon!Reader)

Prompt is bolded below:  #spn hiatus writing challenge @one-shots-supernatural

Quick shout out to @ilovemesomemoose for inspiring my new Imagines header photo! Thank you!


Hell possessed an elite team of demons with a particular set of skills. These skills tended toward assassination, but the few who utilized them were volatile delicate types that dissuaded the head of Hell from using them to their full potential. In short, they were foul tempered elitists and Crowley simply had no desire to play to their egos. Today, however, he made the tactical decision to try. A certain witch bitch mother of his was dancing on his last nerve and he wanted his options open. He pushed into the lower dungeons, dark eyes surveying the room until he found you.

You were curled up on a blood stained threadbare couch, a pale blue light flickered over your face as you stared straight ahead twirling a knife against your thumb. Crowley straightened his shoulders and strode towards you. Your body language didn’t scream bloodshed, so he imagined you were in a slightly more agreeable mood than usual. He closed the distance between you with easy nonchalant strides. He paused at the edge of the sofa waiting for you to notice him, but your eyes remained fixed ahead. He followed your gaze with a quick glance, then froze with disbelief.

“Are you… watching a Disney movie?” He exclaimed. A sniffle brought his attention back to you. “And… you’re crying? What the bloody-”

“Who wouldn’t?” You gestured towards the television dramatically. “Sh-she thought he was her true love!”

You voice trembled into a bawl, tears making wet lines down your cheeks. Crowley stood utterly satan-smacked. His finest tool, sharpest weapon was blubbering over a cartoon. Insult to injury, it wasn’t even a cartoon in a franchise he had a finger in, despite the general public’s opinion. You sniffled rubbing your eyes, your sleeve dipped and a single feignt red pinprick caught his eye. He reached out stealing your wrist with firm gentle fingers. The heat from his skin stirred something beneath yours. A dark nostalgia crawled below your conscious circling for a soft place to breach, but found none. Your eyebrows screwed together in confusion and you looked back to the TV. He held your wrist out catching the lighting from the video. Without a doubt, it was needle tracks, but not from torture, but careful injection.

“How did you get this.” His deep voice vibrated in the intimate space pulling at the corners of your memory.

You shrugged. “Sh! It’s almost over.”

Crowley sighed. You absentmindedly patted the spot beside you when he released your wrist. He hesitated, slid his hands deep into his coat pockets, then leaned back to scan the empty room behind him. Tongue tucked in cheek, his eyebrows lifted as he considered the invitation. He moved hips first around the edge of the couch. The seat was softer than anticipated and he sank into the cushions uncomfortably. He readjusted watching the show with a critical eye. Push come to shove, he could justify the decision by reasoning it was research to try making a deal with the corporation. He scoffed as the show proceeded.

“Leaving him in charge? How moronic…”

A certain reindeer appeared on the screen.

“Oh, look. A Winchester.”

“Sh.” You replied leaning on his shoulder and tapping his lips with your fingertips. Instead of moving away, you settled into him. The scent of something acrid and biting swirled with a warmer headier smell you couldn’t place.

“What load of utter rubbish. Let the damn pile of frozen water melt and be done with this sentimental garbage.”

You hit his shoulder chidingly. He huffed setting down a notch. Your hair was tickling the scruff of his cheek, but he couldn’t bring himself to disturb your comfort. He clicked his tongue against his teeth as the movie came to a close.

“How surprising, a happy ending tied up with a neat little bow.” His head fell on the back of the couch.

He glanced at you as you straightened. You reached for a pile of DVDs by the foot of the couch. You shuffled through the titles looking for one to grab your attention. Crowley observed you for a long moment as your eyes absorbed the information of a movie with illustrated cats on the front. He sat up carefully searching for words.

“Love, where did you get that track mark?”

You didn’t look up from the stack of movies in your lap. “I think the girl did it.”

“Girl?”

You hummed. “She uh, injected me with blood for some reason. I woke up right after. I wonder how I didn’t hear her come in.”

Crowley’s face fell in irritated realization. “Rowena. She must have known I was coming to you.”

You shrugged. “Let’s watch this one next.”

You slid off the couch slipping the disk onto your finger as you waited for the old one to eject. Crowley reasoned that if he complied with you now it would become easier to work with you later when the blood poison had worn off. If that meant suffering through another feel good cartoon, so be it. You plopped back into the couch next to him. He didn’t resist as you lifted his arm over your shoulder and curled into his side. Something in his chest twitched when you inhaled deeply.

“You smell good.”

“It’s blood and brimstone, love.”

“Oh.” You accepted it easily. “Okay.”

Drabble #5

Originally posted by parkjaebums



Shattered pieces of green porcelain laid scattered across the off-white tiles of the living room floor. Cold coffee wet your bare feet; threatened to stain your couch, where it had splashed as your frog shaped mug slipped out of your hand. Your eyes bulged out of your head, practically burning holes into the screen of your iPhone. Detailed wings wrapped around the curve of his head in the picture. Which he’d posted only minutes ago, captioned “I know angels are watching over me…” followed by too many hashtags and emojis. Wind blowing in from the cracked apartment window made your eyes water but that was certainly not the only reason you felt like crying. I’m going to murder him.  

The rapid pounding of your heart against your ribcage finally, finally, startled you out of your state of shock. Tapping your thumb against the screen of your phone to keep it from going black, you stared at the picture for a beat longer. It would be hypocritical to deny that the artist had done a fantastic job with the piece because he had. The detail on the wings was astounding. The contrast between black and white made the piece come to life. Had it been permanently inked onto any other part of his body you wouldn’t have minded. However, your mind could not admire the piece while your brain was in utter chaos at the fact that a needle had been stabbing into your fiance’s head. He wouldn’t be home until late and you could not just pop into AOMG to bitch at him. Despite being beyond pissed you were classy.

You waited up for him, sitting on the very same, very stained, couch you had not left in hours. The lights turned off around the entire apartment, you sat staring straight ahead like some godfather, serial killer motherfucker waiting for her next victim. By now, you knew, Jay would be very well on his way home. He made it a habit to be home no later than 2:00 a.m. Since you had not liked his picture nor called to yell at him you were sure he had no idea the shit storm that was waiting for him.

As the lock clicked, your tired eyes snapped in the general direction of the door suddenly ten times more awake. You heard Jay struggle to pull off his shoes. He stumbled into the living room after a minute. You could make out the shape of the duffel bag he took to work every day packed full of clothes and snacks. Like a mom waiting to scold her rebellious son, you turned on the lamp beside the couch. He stopped, wide eyes flicking toward the couch. He looked like a “deer caught in headlights,” almost innocent.

 “Jaebeom Park,” you said, not bothering to mask your anger. You could tell the exact moment that it clicked that something was wrong. Besides the fact that you never used his legal name, you hardly ever waited up for him. Dropping the duffel bag he cautiously made his way over to you. His footsteps were light, barely audible, an effect of years of sneaking into your bedroom trying hard not to wake you up.

“Ah yes, honey?” he said, eyes downcast. Jay never called you honey, ever. He hated the word more than he hated leaving your bed early in the morning. You scoffed, picking up a mug of tea, which had long gone cold, from the table in front of the couch. You brought the mug to your lips, eyes staring straight into Jay’s with the most intimidating glare you could muster.

“Do you want to tell me what you did today? or am I going to have to do the crazy Hispanic girlfriend thing and pull out printed copies of what I know you did today?” he inhaled sharply. His eyes flicked to the door, gauging the distance and no doubt how fast he could make it out the door and to Simon’s. He let out a sigh.

“Baby, I was going to call you about it, I swear. I just didn’t have time”

“You didn’t have time to call but you had time to get your fucking head tattooed?”

You didn’t mind Jay’s tattoos, at all. In fact, his tattoos were your biggest turn on but even you had limits. He sat on the couch a few inches away from you, no doubt afraid that coming any closer would earn him a good slap across his beautiful face.

“Sleeping on the couch today?” he said, accepting his fate.

 “Try sleeping on the couch this week.”

- Admin Jen

Jay’s new tattoo, though. What were your reactions? Honestly, at first, I was like “Jay no” *cue laughter and facepalm*. But I can’t say I was surprised. I mean I question why he didn’t get it on his legs or something because he definitely has space. At the end of the day, it was his decision to make and honestly his artist did an amazing job. Personally, I don’t mind it. I actually think it looks really good; I’m kind of curious about how it will look when his hair grows back. 

This drabble came to mind because I was wondering how his significant other would react. Enjoy!

officialcatheronie  asked:

Ok but bellarke at a Halloween party, both slightly tipsy, smushed too close together on a crowded couch and a drunk friend dares them to kiss, and they've had worse idea before, so why not?

Tipsy!Bellarke is my legit fave so thank you.

Also this is a late addition but AO3.

So Zeus and the Mad Hatter Walk Into a Bar…

Clarke had no idea how she had gotten here.  With a (probably) drunk Zeus on one side of her and a bored looking Persephone on the other, on a beer-stained couch in someone’s basement, fake cobwebs tickling the back of her neck.

Okay, let’s back up a little.

Raven had been begging Clarke to go to this Halloween party with her for weeks and finally, Clarke relented, though that may have had more to do with Raven stealing all of her textbooks and refusing to give them back until Clarke agreed.

So Clarke went to the fabric store and Party City and started putting together a Mad Hatter costume to go with Raven’s Alice and didn’t complain.

She figured it wouldn’t be that bad of an event.  She knew a few who were going other than Raven and she was planning on spending most of it pleasantly tipsy and going home early so she could still catch Sleepy Hollow when it aired at eleven.

By 9:30 Clarke was drunk, dancing with some guy she didn’t know, and having a lot more fun than she thought she could have.  He was a terrible dancer and kind of spit when he talked but she was floating and spinning and damn, she’d done a great job on this costume.

Keep reading

Fire Meet Gasoline pt. 3

Click Here to Read Ch. 1

Click Here to Read Ch. 2

Disclaimer: This story contains cheating. Solangelo cheats with each other not on each other. Please do not read if angst or cheating triggers you. Thank you.

Ch. 3-

“So what’d you guys do?” Paolo asked.

Will shrugged. “Went to get breakfast. Hung out at the mall. Watched a movie. It was more talking about stuff than anything special.” He began rubbing his thumbs against the tips of his fingers anxiously. “I’m glad to have a friend,” he said. “It’s been a while.”

Paolo smiled and wrapped his arms around him from behind, and rested his chin on his shoulder. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“It doesn’t worry you?” Will asked, looking blankly at the stained couch. “I don’t want you to get worried or jealous or something.”

Paolo chuckled at his ear and kissed his cheek. “No. No it doesn’t worry me. I just want you to be happy and I know I’m a handful…. I’m glad you became friends.” Will hummed and thought of the kiss they’d shared in his car. Suddenly Paolo’s touch felt wrong and dirty. “Want to binge-watch How to Get Away With Murder?” Paolo suggested.

“Sure,” he answered.

***

Percy was home by the time Nico got there. When he walked in, Percy was heating up a pizza in the oven. “Hey, how’d it go?” he asked. A little girl ran out of the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Nico’s legs.

“Hey, Clio,” Nico greeted. Percy’s little sister adored him. She was seven years old and loved spending the weekends at their house.

“Can I paint your nails?” she asked. “I have new nail colors.” Nico chuckled and she pulled him along to the kitchen. Percy was already sporting a light blue color, sloppily painted on his nails.

“Hey,” he greeted, kissing him lightly before turning to the cookie dough he was placing on a baking sheet. “We’re making pizza and cookies.”

“Yum,” Nico answered with a smile. Clio dragged Nico to the table and spread out her small nail polishes. “Um… black,” he said.

She pouted. “You always choose black.” But she obliged and concentrated on painting Nico’s nails. He felt guilty. Of course he did. He could still feel Will’s lips against his, he could feel his hair between his fingers, hear his breaths as they split apart. But he was here, in this family-esque life.

***

Nico didn’t text him until Monday morning. He gave him his lunch hour and suggested they meet at a fast food place. Will took off from work as soon as his break started and arrived at Chick-Fil-A quickly since it was down the street from him. Nico was already there, in his car, scrolling through his phone. Will tapped on the glass and Nico looked over and smiled widely as soon as he saw him. He got out of the car and touched his hand subtly. He interlocked their pinkies and smiled at him as though he was the sun.

It had been a long time since anyone looked at Will that way. 

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being-me-for-no-one-deactivated  asked:

Any idea how to get candlewax off a couch?

Here’s what Stain Solutions has to say

  1. If the wax is still soft, freeze it by applying an ice cube wrapped in a small plastic bag, and then scrape off the excess wax.
  2. Using a clean white cloth, sponge the stain with the dry cleaning solvent.
  3. Blot until the solvent is absorbed.
  4. Repeat Steps 2 and 3 until the stain disappears.
3

The Winchesters and I just finished a case this morning and decided to stay in the grungy motel room one more night. Dean, of course, went out to some bar to pick up girls, leaving Sam and I in the motel. Sam decided to get ahead on some lore on the Internet, and I found a place on the stained couch in front of the cheap television. As I flip through the channels, my stomach begins to growl.

“Ugh, I’m hungry,” I groan, throwing my head back against the cushions. We worked through lunch and I didn’t think to grab anything before we got back to the room.

“Then eat something,” Sam chuckles sarcastically, not looking up from his laptop.

“I don’t think we have anything.” I stand from the couch and make my way to the mini kitchen. I only take two steps and my right pinkie toe rams straight into the leg of the coffee table. I almost cripple at the pain that shoots through my foot and let out words I have rarely ever used. “Jesus fucking Christ! Fuck!”

As I fall back down on the sofa, holding my injured foot, I snap, “son of a bitch,” at the table. I look up to find Sam staring wide eyed at me, and then I realize. My hand shoots up to cover my mouth.

“I didn’t know you were physically capable of actually swearing.” He leans back in his seat, still in shock.

“Well, I guess I might as well start cursing more if I’m going to be around you guys,” I laugh nervously. Then a thought pops into my head and I gain a mischievous smile. “And pain isn’t the only this that makes my shout such profanities.”

Sam blushes instantly and I give him a wink. Maybe I can get used to cursing more often.