cosmo tip

I’ve realized I don’t actually believe it’s possible to “teach” someone a language.

You can provide resources, but the student needs to use them.

You can answer questions, but the student needs to ask them first.

You can point at a word and say “This means that.” And then the same again for the next word. And then again, and again, and again. But a dictionary can do this too.

You can give a long awkward explanation of all the grammatical exceptions to the rules, but you’ll probably leave them even more confused than when they started.

What you can do is inspire them, give them passion – the longest-lasting and most useful gift you can give someone who wants to learn a language. If you ignite the flame of excitement within them to pursue the language on their own, they will continue to learn for the rest of their lives, even without you.

a compiled list of my favorite posts in the "cosmo tips" tag
  • Right before climaxing with your female partner, scream at the top of your lungs “Go Go Gadget, Ejaculate!” 
  • After a handjob, use the semen on your fingers to wipe across his forehead as you whisper, ‘Simba…
  • if he comes before you, run away while screaming “curse you perry the platypus”
  • Fuck a republican, get pregnant, and see how fast he turns pro-choice
  • When eating your partner, tell them that they taste good but not better than a dead baby. 
  • When he gets his pants off, point and sing “Put that thing back where it came from or so help me” 
  • Put a doughnut over his penis and eat it off slowly while licking the tip occasionally, that should get him extra hard and wanting to fuck even more.
  • Fake an English accent during your encounter and when you are about to reach climax scream ‘the British are coming, the British are coming’
  • After taking his virginity he has kept for religious reasons, lean in close to him and whisper “Where’s your God now?” 
  • Secretly use super glue instead of lube so you can be together forever
  • If you are going down on a girl, make sure to go down on her like a fat kid that hasn’t eaten food in a month
  • During sex, surprise him with an extremely sexy orgasm moan by making the THX theme sound at the top of your lungs
  • When you’re about to put it in, whisper, “Objects are larger than they appear”
  • as you near your climax, count down from 10 and then yell “ready or not, here i come”
  • The first time he tries to touch you, slap his hand away and shout ‘UNHAND ME PEASANT’.
  • WARNING: Asians will moan answers to math problems during climax. 
  • When your partner says “Tell me what you want” reply with “I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, really, really wanna zigazig ah”