cosett

Cosette, Musichetta and Éponine Teacher AU because it’s les mis wlw and women appreciation week (and also because it’s break time, the only time when it’s fun to think about school and stuff): 

  • Cosette is the adorable, super nice music teacher that everyone loves and about half oft he school has a crush on
  • Patterned dresses and thermos with little dots on them
  • She and the school band always help out the theatre department with their plays 
  • (talk to me about drama!teacher Montparnasse and literature!teacher Jehan oh my god)
  • Everyone was kind of shocked when that one time the drummer got ill last minute and Cosette, totally unfazed, took over still wearing her lace-collared pastel dress

 
  • Musichetta teaches astronomy and somehow manages to make the scientific concepts easy to understand while also telling the students about star signs and ancient stories
  • Confuses a lot of people at first because she looks more like a weirdly dressed art or literature teacher (so like Jehan but with well, actually nice weird clothes) but then she slays with her PhD in Astronomy and Astrophysics
  • People are a little scared of her and a lot in awe

 

  • Éponine had a lot of trouble at first adjusting to her job as a PE teacher because she wasn’t sure if and how she was going to get the respect of the students so he was very strict at the beginning
  • But the first time a little girl fell and scraped her knee, she hugged her and told her stories about how her little brothers always came home with their knees scraped and her little sister who never wanted to cry, until the little girl calms down
  • From that point she knows she’s chosen the right thing to do
  • She still strict, teaches self-defence glasses for young girls with R and Bahorel but she has a soft heart too, and that’s why everyone respects her

“You would have said it looked like a spider coming to grab a fly; only here the spider was bringing life, not death” 

the above is regarding Valjean on the ship Orion (Volume Two, Book Two, Chapter Three). The below is regarding Thenardier and  Cosette.

“The Thenardier dive was like a web in which Cosette was caught, trembling. The ideal of oppression had been achieved in this sinister domesticity. It was a bit like a fly serving spiders.” 

I LOVE shit like this

In the French version of A heart full of love, Cosette asks Marius is he’s the prince she was waiting for, and if they wanted the play to be realistic, they’d stop the song at that point because Marius would be to busy butting his head against a tree and murmuring: “damn it damn it she wants a prince and I’m only a baron”.

Little Les Mis™ Things

-the beginnings of the barricade songs
-“EVEN A WHORE WHO HAS GONE TO THE BAD WON’T BE HAD BY A RAT!!!”
-Thenardier calling Cosette by the wrong name
-“Little he knows, little he sees”
-the three part counterpoint at the end of a heart full of love
-the three part counterpoint at the end of a heart full of love reprise/everyday
-“Thinks he’s quite a lover, but there’s not much there”
-when the “JAVERT!"s match up in the confrontation
-the feeling in your chest when everyone starts singing in the finale

bonus:
-gavroche singing the women’s part of drink with me in the les mis movie

Les Amis as Cards Against Humanity Cards

Enjolras: the violation of our most basic human rights
Courfeyrac: liberté. égalité. beyoncé.
Combeferre: Harry Potter erotica
Grantaire: some douche with an acoustic guitar
Jehan: bees?
Feuilly: a grown man crying at a movie
Joly: embryonic stem cells
Bossuet: the World’s Worst Human Being
Bahorel: the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Marius: the “shy kid in the corner”
Eponine: the feminist agenda
Cosette: Girls Gone Wild
Musichetta: aggressive Legolas hair flips
Montparnasse: smoking 1000 cigarettes just so you can sound like a dalek when you talk

I just can’t stop thinking about Beauty Guru Cosette because it’s the absolute purest thing:

  • Cosette reclaims pastel pink as a fierce colour and makes it her brand, showing the world that softness isn’t a weakness but an act of bravery when the rest of the world tries to bring you down
  • She has this whole segment in which she reads hate comments and literally kills them with kindness, saying she’s sorry about their internalised anger and that she wishes them well, because a happy person wouldn’t leave comments like these
  • She promotes mental health and well-being, all with a cheerful and positive attitude, helping many people in the process
  • During the whole “Men can’t wear makeup” controversy, Cosette invited Courfeyrac and Montparnasse to do a video with her, and launched a #makeupisgenderneutral hashtag on twitter, which trended HARD.
  • Speaking of collabs, she often works with Musichetta and Bahorel on little fashion reviews and body positivity videos
  • Jehan records the little ukulele music that plays in the videos
  • She did a “My dad does my makeup” challenge, thinking it’d be hilarious since Valjean has seemingly no clue how makeup works. But Valjean did absolutely brilliantly? Cosette was totally blown away, but Valjean just shrugged it off: “Of course I know how to do it; I watch your videos. I keep in touch with what my daughter does and love, and I couldn’t be prouder.”
  • Cosette teared up on camera, ruining Valjean’s hard work, and hugged her dad so hard she couldn’t breathe. It remains, to this day, the most viewed video on her channel
Les Misérables
  • Valjean: i stole fucking bread
  • Javert: five years
  • Valjean: i tried to check on my family you piece of shit
  • Javert: fourteen more
  • Valjean: im free
  • Javert: technically,,,, you're not,,,,, but ok,,,,
  • Bishop: hey u look like ur having trouble come over at my place
  • Valjean: fuck it
  • Valjean: *steals*
  • Javert: ffs you wouldn't be in jail if-
  • Bishop: no it's cool i gave him that shit
  • Javert: oh.
  • 20 years later or smth
  • Valjean: aye im mayor now
  • Fantine: i have a daughter you inconsiderate imbeciles
  • Fantine's boss and coworkers: fuck you
  • Fantine: i don't want to do this
  • Valjean: u don't have to
  • Valjean: hey kid u want some candy
  • Cosette: fuck yea
  • Thénardiers: you want her? go have her
  • 20 more years later i think
  • Éponine: i lowkey love you
  • Marius: im oblivious as shit. ooOO a HOT girl
  • Cosette: ooOO a HOT guy
  • Marius: hey, take me to her
  • Éponine: ok
  • Éponine: (kill me)
  • Enjolras: REVOLUTION
  • Grantaire: you're gonna get us killed, moron
  • Grantaire: (but you're my moron)
  • Les Amis de'lABC: we died.
  • Éponine: me too
  • Valjean: mY FUTURE SON IN LAW IS DEAD
  • Javert: sTOP R I G H T THERE
  • Valjean: *gives Javert guilt trip*
  • Javert: oh
  • Javert: oh shit
  • Javert: *kills himself*
  • A year later I think
  • Marius: all my friends are dead
  • Cosette: i love you
  • Marius: love u too
  • Valjean: im dying
  • Cosette: please,,,, god,,,, no,,,, enough people have DIED already
  • Fantine: hey old pal. ur awesome
  • Éponine: u protected my crush. ur awesome
  • Bishop: ur awesome
  • Everyone: we're all awesome!!

Imagine Marius trying super hard to impress JVJ the first time he meets him and he’s just stumbling over his words and messing up and he’s just a massive bundle of nerves. And JVJ is there like “ yes hello I am the serious father” but like he’s just dying because oh my god bless this boy.

And then they have dinner and they go to say grace and JVJ is like

“Our father who art in heaven

thank you for blessing us with this food

And Lord, if you’re listening, let Marius Pontmercy know that he is welcome in my house and to my family and that the plate he accidentally broke that Cosette sneakily cleared away was an ugly plate and I’m glad it is broken.”

And anyways he can no longer keep a straight face and he bursts out laughing, followed not long after by Cosette and Marius feels like he could cry from relief and he’s so happy.