Lost Words (Barry Allen x Reader)
Prompt: You had just come back to Central City after four years in college to major in medicine. When you came back, everything’s changed. Metahumans are now a thing, The Flash is running around the city, and you are now a doctor at Central City hospital. The only thing that hasn’t changed is your unresolved and unrequited love for Barry Allen.
Word Count: 2.5kish
Author’s Note: Guys, it’s part three! I promised y’all a part on Wednesday, and here it is. I hope it lives up to your expectations. Anyways, I loved see you guys in my inbox and it really does make my day a whole whole lot better:) and btw the drug used at the end is a real thing, in case y’all didn’t know, I just learned about it yesterday in Health Science class and I was like, ya know that would be awesome for this imagine….
You woke up the next morning staring at the ceiling of your apartment. You thought about the events from yesterday. How Barry, your Barry Allen, was the infamous Flash that the majority of the city adores. He has saved countless lives and puts himself in danger everyday. The sun peeked through your blinds, leaving bright stripes across your dark bedroom. You were still slightly hurt that no one told you about Barry’s secret, even if they were respecting Barry’s request. Then, you thought about the time where your life changed forever.
*11 years ago*
Your 12 year old self sat on the benches of the police department, waiting for your mom to come pick you up. You weren’t feeling well at school so your dad had to pick you up, but there was an incident and then there were the sounds of gunshots. The next thing you knew, you were getting put into another cop car and sent here, told by an officer to wait for your mother.
You sighed heavily. You didn’t really comprehend what happened, all you knew was that you’d been waiting for 2 hours, sitting on a wooden bench alone. Just then, a boy your age came up to you with a smile. You looked up from your shoes.
He started to talk but then stuttered, forming incoherent words.
You smiled. “What, did you lose your words?” you asked.
His eyes grew slightly. “Did I what?”
“You know, lose your words. My mom says that to me all the time when I stutter,” you explained, reminding yourself just where the hell your mom was now.
The boy chuckled nervously before scratching the back of his head. “Uh, yeah, I think I did. Um, so, what’s your, uh, name?” he asked you.
Your smile grew larger. You thought he was kinda cute. “Y/N. I’m Y/N. What’s yours?”
He returned your smile and extend out a hand to you. “I’m Barry! My adoptive dad works here so I was just hanging around.”
“Really?! My dad works here too!” you replied enthusiastically.
He was going to reply when a girl with dark thick hair in a ponytail came running around the corner.
“Barry!” she exclaimed. “I thought we were gonna do some homework in the conference room.”
Barry turned around to look at the girl running up to you two. “Iris, come meet Y/N! Her dad works here too.” He gave you a small smile.
The girl, Iris, smiled at you. “Hey! Do you want to come do homework with us? I see you brought your backpack.” She pointed at the backpack that you had to carry around with you since you left school. You looked down and thought for a second. You weren’t very good at talking to new people, and you were definitely more comfortable just sitting on the bench, but they seemed like nice friends and they were your age! Maybe it was time to step out of your comfort zone.
You nodded happily. “Sure!” You slung your backpack around your shoulders and followed the two to the room that they had set up.
Barry glanced over at you as you walked across the police department. “Looks like I found my words, Y/N!”
You sat up in bed, the clock reading 6:38 in red numbers. You were in shock and you were hurt, but you knew that Barry and Iris were still your best friends. You couldn’t just be mad at them without them giving you an explanation. Especially Barry. Oh, especially Barry.
You rubbed your hands down your face in frustration. You could never be mad at them for more than a day.
“Dang it, I hate myself,” you whispered. You flung the bed covers off of yourself and went to get ready. You were going to S.T.A.R. Labs.
Two hours later you found yourself in the same elevator that you left in tears just a couple hours ago. You took a deep breath. Now that you’ve slept on it, you realize how rash you acted. You let your emotions get the best of you, and it was stupid.
“This isn’t high school, Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “Barry must have a reason. This isn’t high school.” The elevator doors opened and you walked towards the cortex. The empty hallways did nothing to soften the sound of your sandals against the tile which made you only more aware of your closeness to the place where Barry had almost lost his life.
You walked in to see Cisco alone in front of the computers with headphones in.
“Cisco?” you called out. No response.
You looked around, not really sure what you were looking for.
“Cisco?” you asked, a little louder. He was still clicking away when suddenly he jumped up in excitement and made a loud ‘Whoop!’ You took a step back and raised your eyebrows in surprise. Then he turned around and faced you with his headphones still in and his arms raised in triumph.
“Oh, shit!” Cisco yelled. He pulled his headphones out and bent over the desk, clutching his heart. You suddenly came running from the doorway to him.
“What, are you okay? Are you having a heart attack?” you asked concerned.
“No,” he started, catching his breath, “just the fact that you scared the living crap out of me. Really, Y/N, you need to announce yourself before standing there like something out of a horror movie.” You looked down at your sweater and jeans and was about to ask how that looked like a horror movie, but you thought that you could live without knowing the answer to that.
You laughed at his dramatic reaction. “I’m sorry, Cisco. I’ll remember to ring the doorbell next time I come,” you teased. He glared at you before slumping back into the leather chair.
“So,” he asked with his head in his hand, “what are you doing here?”
“I, uh, actually came here to talk to Barry. Is he here?” you questioned.
“Yeah, he’s actually just down that hall in the Speed Lab,” he said, pointing to your right outside the Cortex.
“Great,” you smiled, “Thanks, Cisco.” You were about to turn around when he stopped you.
“Wait, Y/N, I have a question.”
“Yeah?” You looked at him confused.
“Do you like Barry?” Cisco asked, staring straight at you.
Your eyes grew wide. Oh, crap. Panicking, you did the first thing that came to your mind when you get nervous.
You burst out in laughter.
“What?! Me? Liking Barry? Oh, please. No…no way. It’s Barry! Barry likes Iris, it’d be like emotional suicide to like…Barry…” you trailed off.
“Mhmm,” Cisco responded, obviously not believing you. You sighed in defeat.
“Yeah, I do,” you whispered. “That’s weird, you’re the first person to notice that I like him.”
“Well, I am Cisco,” he gloated and gave his smirk. You rolled your eyes as you leaned against the doorway of the Cortex.
“I’m just kidding, Y/N. I have known you for a couple months now, it’s not that hard to miss. I mean, your eyes trail on him just a couple more seconds longer than you do with others. Your face lights up whenever he enters a room.” You looked at him in pleasant surprise. Who knew Cisco was so observant?
“Yeah, I know. I’ve always been bad at hiding my feelings but no one seemed to notice. And he still likes Iris so I’ve been trying to get rid of my feelings…with no success,” you sighed.
“Actually,” Cisco started, “I think Barry doesn’t like Iris anymore. I watch them. She’ll drop hints to ask him out and sometimes it’s just a flat out question, but he always refuses. Always. And you know what I think?” He pointed at you with a suspicious look.
“I think that he’s rejecting her because he likes you,” Cisco concluded.
You scoffed. “Please, Cisco, don’t give me false hope.” He put his hands up in surrender and shrugged.
“I’m not! I’m just saying,” he defended himself. You chuckled. “Yeah, sure, whatever. I’m gonna go find Barry now.”
“You do that!” Cisco replied as you rounded the corner to find your speedster.
You walked into a large room that you assumed was the Speed Lab as Barry’s vitals beeped on the table and you saw yellow lightning running in circles upstairs above you. Just then, Barry came down from the second level and looked at you from the entrance.
“Y/N,” he said shocked.
“Hi, Barry,” you said. A pause. “So, how are you doing? I hope you’re taking it slow since you’re not fully healed yet.”
He smiled. “Yeah, don’t worry, making sure to not rip anything.” Another pause.
Barry opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
“I’ve seemed to have lost my words,” he mumbled. You gave a small smile. Ever since that day at the police station, you two have said that to each other when one person didn’t know what to say. You rarely used that line. Only once when Barry caught you almost skipping in middle school. He scolded you and told you to come back to class. You internally smiled at the memory.
“It’s okay. I’ll talk,” you started. You took a step towards him. “Barry, I…I want you to know that I care for you. You are my best friend and I want to be there for you every day. But, it hurts when you don’t let me do that.”
Barry finally looked up at you from his leather boots. “Y/N, I know. Joe told me what happened and I had no idea you felt like that. I’m sorry. I never intended for you to feel left out. I just…I can’t have something happen to you, Y/N. I can’t have you getting hurt be on me.”
You breathed out a small laugh. “That’s why you wouldn’t tell me? Because you were worried that I would get hurt?”
“Yes, Y/N! Every single person who knows my secret is in danger of getting hurt or worse. If they get hurt, it’s on me. And I can’t handle you being in danger.” He was now in front of you, close enough to where you could see the gold flecks in his green eyes and the worried creases that laid on his forehead.
You smiled and took one of his leather clad hands. “You don’t have to worry about me, Bar. I can take care of myself,” you said softly.
He started to shake his head. “No, Y/N. You don’t know what I go against every day. All of the people I care about are behind me and I worry if they’re going to be collateral damage. If you get hurt because of me…” Barry shook his head and looked off into the distance.
“Hey,” you held his face to look at yours. “Stop blaming things on yourself, Barry Allen. Even you, a man who can run into the future, can’t predict it yourself. No matter what happens to anyone, it isn’t your fault. It never is, okay? If somehow I get hurt or Joe does, it is not your fault. You need to stop taking care of other people and take care of yourself for once! Don’t push people away because you’re afraid. Pull them closer so that they can support you.” You squeezed his hands slightly, emphasizing your presence with him.
He looked at you with the saddest eyes and then you knew what was coming. Barry pushed you away.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. But you need to go. I can’t have you here anymore,” he whispered. You dropped your arms by your sides.
“Really? Barry, I can take care of myself! I’m not some damsel in distress that needs constant attention. I won’t even be here most of the time. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, Bar.” The pain returned. How could he not want you here? He was okay with everyone else, but once again, not you.
“I…” he shook his head in frustration. “I just need you to leave, okay, Y/N?” With that, he sped away to God knows where, leaving you in the large, empty room with nothing but the beeps of the computers.
You angrily slammed the door of your car as you parked on the curb of your apartment complex.
“Stupid Barry. Stupid Y/N. You thought he liked you,” you scoffed to yourself. You groaned in anger when suddenly a crash pulled your attention to the other side of the street. It was a metahuman, robbing the jewelry store that laid across your apartment. He was shooting electricity out of his hands when suddenly, the man in the scarlet suit arrived.
People were running away from the scene, but you stayed locked in your spot. You knew you had to leave, yet something told you to stay put. You couldn’t leave Barry alone even though you knew that Cisco and Caitlin were in his ear comm. You couldn’t run knowing exactly just how dangerous electricity was. In the hospital, electricity was used to restart a heart, but it could stop one just as quickly.
You watched the scene unfold. Barry had gotten hit twice which made you uneasy but he seemed to get right back up. That was when you heard a groan. Beside the fight scene between the two metas, you saw a woman severely injured. It seemed that a part of metal had pierced her abdomen and blood was everywhere. You remembered your first aid kit in the trunk of your car.
“Y/N!” Barry yelled as his opponent was the the middle of getting up from a hit. “You need to leave!” Then, he zipped off to fight the man again. You looked at the woman. You could save her. You car wasn’t even locked yet. You could just grab the kit, run, fix her up, and go in less than 10 minutes. After a quick battle between your two voices, you popped the trunk, snatched the black bag that held your medical supplies and ran as fast as you could to the bleeding victim.
“Hey, I’m a doctor. I’m going to help you, okay? I just need you to hold on. Stay alive,” you whispered to her. She nodded slightly, her breath coming in short huffs.
“Okay,” you whispered to yourself. You made sure to check that Barry and the meta were a good distance away from you before examining her. You decided to keep the metal in since you didn’t know what the damages were. You bandaged the gash to keep as much blood in as possible. Soon enough you were finished, you only had to get her to a hospital quickly. As you packed your supplies as fast as you could, a loud crash came from behind you.
Barry had flung the meta into a car that was parked right behind you. He got up, blue electricity sizzling off of him. You grabbed a syringe from the kit that you knew would come in handy if he did what you hoped he’d do. And he did it.
His eyes locked with yours and in three long strides, he grabbed you by the neck and pushed your body against his, using you as a shield.
“No!” Barry exclaimed.
The meta chuckled menacingly. “Let me go, Flash. And I’ll let your little girlfriend go.”
Barry extended out a hand warily. “Stop, please, don’t hurt her. You want me. Fight me.” You could feel the syringe growing sweaty in your palm. You need to put this medication straight into his heart or it won’t work. You just needed to move slightly to the right…
Without thinking, you stepped on his right foot, making him lose his grip on you. You turned around and stabbed the syringe right where his heart was located and quickly injected him with the drug. A second later he fell to the ground, heart stopped and unconscious. Then you looked at Barry.
“Flash! GO! You have four seconds,” you yelled panicking. Barry stared at you for one second before he sped away to handcuff the meta and doused him in water to kill the electricity. Right when Barry turned the nearby water hose off, you could see the meta’s chest start to rise and fall once again yet still unconscious.
Barry looked at you with relief and ran back to you. He held your face in between his hands. “Are you okay?” he asked worried. You covered your hands with his.
“Yes, I’m great. I told you I can take care of myself, Flash,” you remarked. Barry smiled his famous smile at you. You looked him in the eyes. “You won’t push me away, Barry,” you whispered. “No matter how hard you try, I will always be here for you. Whether you like it or not.”
Barry rubbed his thumbs along your cheek bones softly.
“You know,” he said in a hushed tone, “Cisco said I should make a move on you. And that you wouldn’t mind.”
Nerves suddenly took over your body and instincts took over. You gave him a gigantic smile and responded in the same hushed voice. “No,” you said, “I…would not.”
The next thing you knew, Barry had placed his lips on yours. A second passed as you froze. A million things ran through your mind. But you were only focused on one. As you kissed back with your fingers around his neck and his hands around your waist, you could only think about how all this time you thought Barry wasn’t the one. But, in that moment, you couldn’t even think about being with anyone else except the man that was with you right now.
You don’t know if you would’ve stopped kissing Barry anytime soon when suddenly, claps began to appear around you, Then, a full blown applause. That’s when you realized that you were still in public. And that the entire city probably saw the scene that unfolded in front of them.
“Oh, crap,” you said as you hid your face in Barry’s chest. You weren’t very good with the spotlight on you.
Barry chuckled before carrying you so that he could run out of the scene for the police to take care of.
“Oh, wait!” you told Barry right when he was about to run. You pointed at the police and told them a quick run over the woman who was laying stable on the floor behind you. They nodded, quick loading her into an ambulance. It was only when the sirens of the vehicle faded then could you peacefully go with Barry. You nodded at him and in a second, the two of you disappeared in a blur.
He dropped you gently on the couch of your apartment. He sat next to you before taking off his mask and kissing you again but with more passion this time. You pulled away, breathless.
“Please don’t push me away again, Bar,” you murmured.
Barry hugged you tightly, burying his face in your shoulder.
“Never again, Y/N. I don’t know what I’d do without you now.”
You smiled contently. “Seems like you’ve found your words, Barry,” you teased. He gave you a loving smile.
As long as you had Barry and your friends right beside you, maybe Central City wouldn’t be that bad. In fact, it was great to be back home.