corporate tweets

alignment chart for people who dont understand what alignments are

lawful good: sufjan stevens and his tiny voice

neutral good: golden retrievers

chaotic good: the drunk girl complimenting you in the bathroom

lawful neutral: milhouse vanhouten

true neutral: people who retweet common white girl/common gay boy

chaotic neutral: the corporate twitter for vagisil tweeting someone “please explain what you mean by cheese crotch”

lawful evil: the guy who argues with your philosophy professor every time he’s in class. you can hear multiple people sigh when he opens his mouth to speak

neutral evil: lana stans

chaotic evil: the info wars dot com guy explaining the correct way to open a jar of pickles

Industrial Might and Magic Part 5: A Couple of Silly Things While I Collect My Thoughts

Credit to poster Otherkinsey Scale from the SA tradgames forum for the idea of corporate apotheosis.

Tweet: this conjuration spell summons a small spectral blue bird to transmit a message of up to 140 characters. You can tag other people to have it appear directly to them. However, anyone who is following you can also hear the message.

Tag: this weird magical ability used by social media wizards can be used to tag events, people and places. You could tag an event with a person who is not there to have them suddenly be there. You can tag a place with an appropriate hashtag to suddenly have that hashtag be true of the place (in Fate terms, effectively placing an aspect on that place).

Create Corporate Avatar: an extremely powerful ritual; because corporations have personhood legally they also have personhood metaphysically. This ritual used by the corporation’s board of directors summons a physical manifestation of the corporation, allowing it to interact with the world physically. Any damage dealt to the corporate avatar manifests as the corporation’s stock going down.

The next step from corporate personhood is, of course, corporate apotheosis.

The Christmas Season is almost upon us...

I almost hate myself for writing this post, but now that we’ve hit October (seriously, where has this year gone?!) I feel like I should tip my hat to all of my fellow retail workers. 

As merchandise covered in glitter, and decorated with snowy landscapes makes it’s way into our stockrooms, us retail workers get a chill down our spines… as memories of previous Christmases in Retail creep into our nightmares. We must steel ourselves for another few months of impossible requests, destroyed displays, absolute bedlam on the shopfloor, and our clothes permanently covered in that gods-damned glitter.

So, my fellow retail employees, I wish you the very best. May the majority of your customers be kind, and I hope that you have enough energy to enjoy your one-day break on Christmas Day (if you’re lucky enough to get one) without being so exhausted that you sleep through the entire day.

And a plea, to those lucky enough to be able to enjoy the season out of retail… treat your store assistant like a human being, please. At this time of the year, we’re often over-worked, under-paid, and sick of all-things-Christmas by the middle of November. A smile, a kind word… it can help us get through the rest of our shift. And if you receive some amazing customer service? Take a couple of minutes to fire off an email to the head office, or tweet the corporate account about it - because that little extra nudge of appreciation means the world.

anonymous asked:

louis single handedly derailed a whole 'exclusive article' operation, and sparked major twitter over reaction with a single sarcastic comment. I bet whoever is pulling the strings get's zero sleep at night knowing that this whole charade sits on the shoulders of a man who is /done/ with the bullshit.

I think people have not been getting sleep since at least February 2012, lmfao.

anonymous asked:

It's pretty comical that anitwitter is jumping all over devincf's case. When it's been anitwitter that's been just as bad towards fandoms like bronies, calling them sex offenders and such. A "victim" can just as easily be a bully.

Anitwitter isn’t a monolithic hivemind you can prescribe opinions to. It barely means anything as it is - most people use the phrase as a joke. Unfortunately the phrase is so commonly used now that you’re going to hear things like “anitwitter does this” or “anitwitter thinks” which are absurd.

I defended Devin for a long time yesterday, even to Hope, who grew immediately frustrated with him after his responses to Gabbo. “It’s just how he is”, explaining how everyone wants an easy punching bag and anime/anime fans were obviously one for him. He’s not interested in the medium and has said so many times. If you told him you weren’t interested in the Marvel Movieverse and thought comic books were for stupid manbabies he wouldn’t sit there and angrily try to convince you otherwise or behave like some kind of victim, he’d shrug and not care. Devin’s a smart guy. I’ve enjoyed his writing for years and I’d like to think when you spend that much time following someone’s work you do get some insight into their personality. I felt that the people going after him for trashing anime were wasting their time. Either you like his film writing or you don’t, but trying to convince someone who has no skin in the game and clearly isn’t interested at all seemed like a waste of time to me. He was making fun of this thing he really hates, which a lot of people do. I don’t care what he thinks about anime - and shouldn’t, as he said, multiple times. It isn’t his thing and he thinks the whole thing is a laughingstock. That’s fine - all I care about is what he thought about the new Planet of the Apes movie. It’s OK to compartmentalize writers you enjoy and go to them when you want to hear what they have to say and ignore the rest of it.

But then it started getting worse - he started outright saying “I’m superior to you”, using phrases like “everyone arguing with me can’t get within 300 yards of a school” and eventually comparing himself to a hypothetical rape victim, which is where I drew the line. Even in the moments where I was trashing bronies and brony culture and got a thoroughly irritating shellacking from them on Twitter I never got down to that level, where I’m telling them that they’re all human garbage, potential sex offenders, that I’m superior and that the blowback I’m getting for being a dick about bronies is somehow akin to rape and being told that I deserve it is akin to rape apologism. That’s meltdown territory - you just don’t take it there. Why he did, knowing full well what would happen when he did, is a total mystery to me and it’s where I had to draw the line and say something.

There’s a big gulf between pushing back against the people who have internalized their TV shows and media preferences to the point where they angrily attack you and call victim status when you criticize the TV show they love and outright mean-spirited, condescending name-calling from a place of personal superiority. There’s language you really shouldn’t use, places you can’t go, things you really can’t insinuate at all without looking like a gigantic fucking monster and a bully, and he crossed that line. Then he refused to take any responsibility for it, even “Yanno, that was over the line, sorry. Anime fuckin’ sucks though.” I’d have been fine with that. But nope.

I don’t know who you’re talking about when it comes to “anitwitter” calling all bronies sex offenders or whatever because again, “anitwitter” is not a hivemind or a corporation where everyone who tweets about anime fandom is responsible for what everyone else says. Your assertion is based on nothing to me, but I do know I’ve never seen anyone in my timeline say the sorts of things about bronies that Devin was saying about literally everyone who even tried to engage him sincerely on the issue. It was too much.

I should clarify that I don’t think he will nor do I expect Devin to apologize for any of this and it’s best that we all just move along. Knowing what happened and clarifying my position was important to me, because I had so much respect for him and really did look up to him as someone with a sharp critical mind, an entertaining and informative writing style and someone whose film writing I held up as some of the best in the business. This whole episode was really depressing.