Brother’s Day

ok so this is what I’ve been working on, special thanks to Tori for editing

Rating: G

Characters: Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne

“No no no, please no don’t make me, Dick,” Tim Drake-Wayne whined into the phone.

Dick Grayson laughed into the other end of the phone line, “oh come one Timmy he’s not that bad, you’re making it sound like I’m making you take on Mr. Freeze on Christmas eve.”

Tim rolled his eyes, “you know he’s worse than Freeze, worse than the Riddler, just the worst!”

Tim almost, almost felt bad as Dick let out a long suffering sigh over the line, “I know Tim, I’m sorry, but Bruce is in London and Alfred is with him, so…”

“So why don’t you watch him? He likes you”

Keep reading

I have this headcanon that Sherlock is a truly gifted cook, like tweaks gourmet recipes because he knows molecularly, coriander complements this particular variety of Cornish game hen than what the recipe actually calls for. It’s all chemistry, at some point, and a really complicated meal can be as absorbing as a good experiment.

He can also blow a week’s food budget on a single meal, to say nothing of the property damage, and he can (has) burned Ramen. The case of the inexplicable (and really in no way my fault, John) toxic pink goo probably explains why he is more or less barred from the kitchen, at least from the food preparation parts. Actual experiment-experiments are more or less an accepted part of life at this point. But there is a reason John usually makes the tea.

Fun with Action Figures

tallulah99 to Jamaica with her actual husband, not her imaginary Cumberspouse, for a week. I was left on my own. With a key to her house.

I was to get the mail and keep her house from burning to the ground, that sort of thing. But that’s no fun.

So I brought Ron Burgundy over to Tallulah’s to play.

Initially, he had some issues with the place.

“There are no damn cookies in this cookie jar! Who is responsible for this?!”

Look at that eyebrow. The Tenth Doctor could not be enjoying this piggyback ride any less.  

Things didn’t go much better with Martha Jones. “There’s no need for tears. I didn’t say that you were the worst companion. It’s just that you were no Donna Noble. That’s all I’m saying.”

Tallulah has an impressive collection of really cool toys high-end collectible figures. Like John Watson here, who was the next to meet Ron.

“And Sherlock was just, like, beating the corpse? With a riding crop?”

“Yeah. Yeah, just like that.”

“Great Odin’s raven! That escalated quickly.”

Pretty much my entire childhood is on the shelves in Tallulah’s nerd cave.

“YES! PLAY ‘RAINBOW CONNECTION’ AGAIN! I’ll accompany you with some soulful jazz flute.”

Tallulah also has just about the entire cast of Firefly. Not that I’m jealous. Anyway, Ron and Jayne hit it off really well.

“I love beer. Beery, beer, beer. Here it goes down, down into my belly.”

Wolverine likes to party almost as hard as Ron does, and he’s just as good at Gagnam Style.

All good parties eventually end, though, and some sooner than others - too much beer gives Ron the bubbleguts. “Son of a bee sting. I think I just pooped a Cornish game hen!”

Ron filled the bowl but found his hands were too little to flush the handle. What to do? There was only one solution.

“This is what you call an upper decker. I learned that from MacGruber. It was pretty much the greatest movie ever made. The audience laughed 60% of the time, every time.” 

Thor was irked that Ron used the last of the toilet paper but didn’t put out a new roll. “We must all be Asgardians! Always replenish the Charmin!”

Speaking of Asgard, Tallulah owns more Lokis than I can count. Again, not that I’m jealous.

Amazingly, after just ten minutes with Ron, that Loki kid was back on the right path, ready to repair broken relationships and make amends for all the damage he’d done. It turns out all he needed all along was a muscular hug from a strong male figure who smelled of Blackbeard’s Delight. It was like he had been freed from a glass case of emotion.

Ron did, however, think it was a little outrageous how much bigger Loki’s staff was than his.

Ron found some creepy little angel thing hiding on Tallulah’s back shelf. It all worked out okay in the end - Ron can’t blink, because if he did, he might miss something on his teleprompter. Also, he’s made of molded plastic and does not have eyelids.

This little guy charmed Ron. Ron told BB-8 all his secrets, like how he once saw Brick kill a guy with a trident, and how he used to believe that “diversity” was an old, old ship used during the Civil War era.

That was not nice, Kylo Ren. You have to take turns when you want to talk to BB-8. I don’t care how important it is that you discover Rey’s whereabouts.

“Screw you Star Wars guys. I’m going to the princess castle!”

“This is so much better. I really needed to air m’boys out. They were beginning to smell like a used diaper filled with Indian food.”

It’s not easy to keep up with the beauty routines of the average Disney princess. Ron found the taint waxing to be particularly problematic.

Overall, though, Ron enjoyed his time with the Princesses and the Barbies… until the unfortunate vehicular manslaughter incident forced him to go into deep cover, hiding among the tchotchkes and the garden gnomes.

“Go away! Can’t you see I’m busy trying to be on this beautiful blue troll? His eyes are like stars and his beard smells like cinnamon buns!”

I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here’s some of what I learned:

  • Almost everyone is very polite
  • The food is generally outstanding
  • There are no guns
  • There are too many narrow stairs
  • Everything is just a little bit different
  • The pubs close too early
  • The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
  • Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
  • You’d better like peas, potatoes and sausage
  • Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
  • Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
  • People don’t seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
  • Their paper money makes sense, the coins don’t
  • Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
  • Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
  • Pants are called “trousers”, underwear are “pants” and sweaters are “jumpers”
  • The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
  • “Fanny” is a naughty word, as is “shag”
  • All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
  • There’s no dress code
  • Doors close by themselves, but they don’t always open
  • They eat with their forks upside down
  • The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
  • They don’t seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just neater then [sic] we are
  • The wall outlets all have switches, some don’t do anything
  • There are hardly any cops or police cars
  • 5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why
  • When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
  • Black people are just people: they didn’t quite do slavery here
  • Everything comes with chips, which are French fries. You put vinegar on them
  • Cookies are “biscuits” and potato chips are “crisps”
  • HP sauce is better then catsup
  • Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
  • After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
  • The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
  • They can boil anything
  • Folks don’t always lock their bikes
  • It’s not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages
  • Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter
  • Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
  • If someone buys you a drink you must do the same
  • There are no guns
  • Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You’re welcome.
  • Avoid British wine and French beer
  • It’s not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don’t, everyone knows you’re an American
  • Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
  • There’s no AC
  • Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
  • Gas is “petrol”, it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the liter
  • If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always
  • You don’t have to tip, really!
  • Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
  • Only 14% of Americans have a passport, everyone in the UK does
  • You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
  • Walking is the national pastime
  • Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
  • They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven’t put them all back up yet
  • Everyone enjoys a good joke
  • There are no guns
  • Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
  • There are no window screens
  • You can get on a bus and end up in Paris
  • Everyone knows more about our history then we do
  • Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
  • The newspapers can be awful
  • Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you’re paying
  • Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
  • Butter and eggs aren’t refrigerated
  • The beer isn’t warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
  • Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
  • Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
  • The universal greeting is “Cheers” (pronounced “cheeahz” unless you are from Cornwall, then it’s “chairz”)
  • The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, then-£1-£2-£5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
  • Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
  • Cars don’t have bumper stickers
  • Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
  • By law, there are no crappy, old cars
  • When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn’t lose the “1”
  • Cake is is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding
  • BBC 4 is NPR
  • Everything closes by 1800 (6pm)
  • Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own
  • You’re defined by your accent
  • No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is
  • Soccer is a religion, religion is a sport
  • Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
  • The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
  • Drinks don’t come with ice
  • There are far fewer fat English people
  • There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv
  • If you’re over 60, you get free tv and bus and rail passes.
  • They don’t use Bose anything anywhere
  • Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
  • Every pub has a pet drunk
  • Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it
  • Cake is one of the major food groups
  • Their coffee is mediocre but their tea is wonderful
  • There are still no guns
  • Towel warmers!
  • Cheers

An American Was Shocked When His Facebook Observations About England Went Massively Viral

anonymous asked:

Word: hate

Thanks for the prompt, Anon! Another in the one-word prompts series:

Things Will hates:

  • The entire category of small birds that get passed off as a fancy version of chicken, but end up being much more complicated to eat (quail, Cornish game hens, pheasant, etc.).
  • Throw pillows that are too firm.
  • Bass Pro Shop (“It’s not a sporting goods store, it’s Redneck Disneyland.”).
  • School zones.
  • Astroturf.
  • Organic, high-end peanut butter cups.
  • Surprise raisins in any dessert.
  • The look Hannibal gets on his face when he can’t find anything acceptable to order on a restaurant menu.
  • Christmas presents that are ornately over-wrapped, making them way too complicated to open (“Hannibal, why?”).
  • Ironed sheets.
  • The homemade hot sauce that Hannibal keeps trying to pass off as Tabasco (“If it wasn’t made on Avery Island, then it’s not Tabasco. End of discussion.”)
  • The moment of fear when he wakes up to find Hannibal’s side of the bed empty (even though he knows he’s just gone to make breakfast).

Things Hannibal hates:

  • Hydrangeas.
  • I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter (as well as its generic counterparts: You’d Think It’s Butter, Could It Be Butter?, What! Not Butter!, Wow! I Totally Thought It Was Butter!, and the least-committal of them all: Is It Butter?).*
  • People who can’t figure out how to zipper merge on the highway.
  • Accidentally falling asleep on the couch while reading.
  • Will mowing the lawn when he’s not home (due to missing the view of Will’s ass in those little shorts he favors for yardwork).
  • Scented lotion.
  • Onions chopped too finely/not finely enough for any given recipe (this has driven him to write bad Yelp reviews under multiple usernames on more than one occasion.)
  • Any kitchen gadget that promises you “an easier poached egg.” (“Is there no respect for skill anymore, Will?”)
  • Unironed sheets.
  • When the online tracker says his Amazon package has been delivered, but it doesn’t actually show up until a few hours later.
  • Local news anchors.
  • The silent moods Will gets into sometimes on Sunday afternoons (even though he knows they won’t last long, and usually just lead to intense spooning at bedtime).

*These are all real and I’m obsessed with them


Cornish game hens and endive salad for dinner–of course.

(I love catching this one TV. The wife is great!)

A pretty expensive point meal, but I felt like I had to share nonetheless my AWESOME cooking skills. Behold my rubbed-sage Cornish Game Hen. 

This was definitely my treat of a meal because the chickens themselves are really expensive in points. For those of you though that are looking for a splurging meal or have not had a fancy meal in a long time, I paired this with stuffing and broccoli. It was definitely a special night!  

Sansa's Lemon Cakes

For last night’s episode, the season premiere of Game of Thrones I decided to make lemon cakes. I used the recipe for modern lemon cakes in A Feast of Ice and Fire. The recipe says to make it a small sheet cake and cut it into squares like petit fours, but I used my mini cupcake pan instead, as that’s how I always pictured they would be like as I read the books, and it always says Sansa eats a lot of them so they’d have to be pretty small. They were prominently featured in the show last night when Shae was trying to get Sansa to eat.

Mine turned out really good!

I think my favorite part of these is the icing. I made it a little different than what the book says–I didn’t cook it, I just used 1 lb powdered sugar, the rest of the juice from 1-½ lemons, a tiny bit of vanilla and enough milk to get it to the consistency I wanted. I have some icing left over that I need to figure out something to do with, but it was too good to just throw away; the fresh-squeezed lemon juice just makes it taste so much better.

And, since one cannot live on lemon cakes alone (sorry Sansa!), I also made Cornish game hens and roasted vegetables, which are not in the book but I thought would be fitting as well.

I can’t wait for next week’s episode (and recipe).


In this episode, Sophie instructs you on how to brine and roast your very own cornish game hen. 


Thanksgiving 2014. I was lazy this year. I made my dad and sister come to me at my apartment. It was great. My dad bought ingredients and drinks, and we all just hung out and ate wonderful cheese tray snacks and watched tv until I had finished cooking. 

I really cannot cook for three people. It’s a good thing my dad comes from a firm tradition of “more food is always better” because this meal would have served 20, easy. 

I can’t really take credit for much of this food being awesome. These were just super basic recipes that I googled. 

Amuse yourself by looking at the Cornish Game Hen. It is pink. And so was the gravy. I need to be more careful about when and where I add wine in my recipes.