cops on phones

💖tips for people starting high school (or even middle school) this year!💖

🍀 if you’re worried about getting lost get a map of the school. i guarantee you every school has a map (they need them in order to plot emergency exit plans) and you can get these either by popping in to your school office and asking the people at the front desk if they have one or by just looking online. mark the location of your classes on the map, jot down your class schedule, and keep it out with you until you can figure out how to get to your classes by memory.

🍀 if you actually do get lost don’t be afraid to ask someone for help. my first day of high school i was walking all over the damn place for a good 20 minutes looking for a classroom before i finally went to the front office and asked for directions (i had somehow entirely missed a wing of the school in my wanderings and that was where the class was, yikes). teachers and other adult staff are the best to ask but if none are around find a kid that looks older than you and ask them. someone will know where you need to go and will be able to point you in the right direction, you just have to be willing to ask them as soon as you’ve realized you have no clue where the hell you’re going instead of walking around like a lost duck for so long like i did.

🍀 write your locker combination down somewhere that’s easily accessible. even if you’re like “ha! it’s only three numbers, i can remember that!” write it down. and if you’re not comfortable or familiar with using combination locks, look up how to use them online - watch a video or two - and maybe write the instructions for which way to turn them down too. it’s not hard but it can be tricky, especially if you’ve never used a combo lock before and you’re already dealing with new school jitters that can throw you off.

🍀 familarize yourself with the rules of your school. your teachers will probably give you a rule booklet on your first day but if not then the rules are likely available to view online. this tip isn’t here to be a buzzkill but to caution practicality: different schools have different rules. some of those rules may be weird, some may be unfair, but in any case it’s always a good idea to know what is/isn’t allowed in your school so you can avoid doing anything that might get you punished (or at least so you’ll know that you should hide what you’re doing so you don’t get caught). specifically be sure you know rules that are about your school’s dress code, their policy on snacks and drinks in the classroom (this may be something you need to ask individual teachers about as well, as different teachers may have different views on this), whether phones or other devices are allowed in school, and if you take any kind of medications (down to an over the counter tylenol or benadryl) whether you’re allowed to bring those or if you need to fill out some kind of form to get permission first.

🍀 buy your own mini pencil sharpener. these were never on any of my school supply lists but they’re one of those things that you’re better off having and not needing than needing and not having (trust me you don’t want to get up and walk all the way across the room during a test or something to use the teacher’s sharpener, they’re big and loud and they annoy everyone).

🍀 make it a habit to write things down! write down all of your homework assignments and any projects, their due dates, and any quizzes/tests your teacher tells you about. also go through your planner and mark out any days that your school will be closed or closing early. some schools give out planners at the beginning of every year (mine did) but if yours doesn’t then buy one for yourself. it doesn’t have to be fancy or anything, they sell decent ones for cheap at stores like dollar tree. just make sure that you use it! it will make your life 100x easier.

🍀 if you’re someone who has a period make sure you have a small bag of necessary supplies with you in your bookbag. include a few pads, tampons, or whatever you use. different schools have different policies on bringing medication (such as ibuprofen, tylenol, or other pain killers you might use for cramps + other period symptoms) so please be aware of what your school’s policy is before you bring a bottle of pills or even a few loose pills to school with you; even if it’s an over the counter drug you can still get in trouble for bringing it to school without permission. if you’re not sure of your school’s policy your best bet is to drop by the school nurse’s office and ask them about it. don’t be too embarrassed to talk about period stuff with them, school nurses have seen/heard everything and they are not going to judge you.

🍀 don’t freak out about where to sit at lunch. seriously. movies and tv shows make a big deal about this (mean girls, anyone?) but in reality it’s just not that big of a deal. if you’re lucky you’ll share a lunch period with people you know and like and will be able to sit with them but if you don’t then don’t worry too much about it, either. try finding a table that seems mostly empty and sit down there. people you don’t know will probably sit with you and this is okay—you’re not obligated to introduce yourself but you’re also not obligated to not introduce yourself either, be polite and maybe smile and say hey if you want or just nom your food and mind your business. these kids are no different from you, they just want to eat, and chances are they’ll be perfectly fine. if you can’t find a mostly empty table, then look for an empty seat next to someone who looks more focused on eating. ask them if you can sit there. 9 times out of 10 they will say yes. sit, eat, wait for the bell, go. repeat the next day. eventually, it’ll just be another part of the routine.

🍀 don’t bring anything expensive to school unless it can fit in your locker (and you’re willing to keep it there) or you know you can keep it with you at all times. i’m not saying your stuff is going to get stolen but i’ve seen it happen before—kid comes to school, shows off their phone or ipod or something, goes to the bathroom leaving the thing unattended, and whoops! it’s gone when they come back. be responsible with your things, especially if they’re things you wouldn’t want to lose. and if you don’t absolutely NEED to bring a thing to school, consider leaving it at home.

🍀 don’t bring drugs, alcohol, weapons, or anything else illegal to school. this is common sense y'all. if you don’t want a police dog to start barking at your locker and to get in some serious trouble then leave the weed at home where the cops actually need a warrant or some kind of probable cause to come in and find it. the school building is not yours and your locker is not yours, it’s the schools. don’t bring anything into the school that you’re not okay with school staff and school cops finding.

🍀 turn your phone off before you go into the school in the morning. there are very few ways to piss a teacher off quite as quickly as having your phone ring while they’re in the middle of speaking or the class is in the middle of a test. not only will they be angry but it’s also just super embarrassing and will probably end up with you getting your phone confiscated. also, don’t text during class. i know it’s tempting but it’s not worth getting in trouble for. keep it off and if you can’t trust yourself to keep it off then keep it at home.

🍀 manage your time between classes wisely. know how much time there is between class letting out and the bell for the next class ringing and know how long it will take you to get to your next class from where you’re at. socializing is good and healthy but don’t burn up all of the time you have between classes hanging out talking to people in the hallway because it can wind up making you late. make sure you pee if you’ve gotta pee and that you have everything you need for your next class.

and for a lot of you beginning middle or high school is usually the first time you’ll have a gym class where you have to change your clothes in a locker room or shower around other students. this can obviously cause a lot of anxiety, especially for those of you who might deal with body image issues so here are a few tips for how to potentially deal with that as well as other locker room tips:

🍀 a lot of gym locker rooms have bathroom stalls attached and you can potentially get changed in those rather than out in the open with everyone else. note that some gym teachers may not be okay with students doing this. if that’s the case then they’ll likely tell you about it on day one of gym class. if they don’t mention it then consider it okay but if they don’t allow people to get changed in the bathroom then you can always slip into a regular school bathroom prior to gym class and change your clothes there and then change into your regular clothes after gym. as long as you manage your time wisely and don’t take too long and wind up late for gym or your next class, you shouldn’t get in trouble for this.

🍀 if you have body image issues about how your upper body looks you can consider wearing a long tank-top underneath your regular clothes and, after you change out of your regular clothes, just put your gym shirt on on top of the tank top. you’re still changing but no one is actually seeing your chest/skin which reduces some of the anxiety.

🍀 if you have body image issues about your lower body or people seeing you in your underwear you can consider wearing boxers or some kind of shorts-like underwear instead of briefs. these cover more skin than briefs do which can, again, reduce anxiety. no matter what your gender identity is there should be some kind of underwear like this in a pattern/color/material that is comfy for you. alternatively, you could also wear thin leggings under your regular pants (though this may not be feasible for you during summer when it’s really hot out).

🍀 if you don’t want to shower after gym, no one can force you. just make sure to have a clean set of clothes to change into, make sure you wear deodorant, and carry a packet of nicely scented wipes in your gym bag to wipe down with after gym is over. maybe also spritz a bit of perfume or scented water in your hair.

🍀 keep a pair of fresh socks in your gym bag. everyone knows to bring their gym clothes but a lot of people forget to bring a pair of clean socks and you really need to. your feet will get sweaty and hot and even if they don’t start to stink it’s still going to be really uncomfortable to wear them until you get home.

🍀 actually wash your gym clothes. YMMV, i don’t know how much y'all sweat or stink, but be sure you wash your gym clothes at least once a week because no matter what your body odor level is they will start to stink after awhile. if your clothes get particularly funky then wash them in a mix of antibacterial soap and baking soda—the soap will kill the germs and the baking soda will make them smell good again.

🍀 and speaking of stink, if your gym shoes start to smell funky buy some baking soda spray and spray the hell out of them too.

🍀 be respectful of other people in the locker room. don’t make comments about other people’s bodies that could make them feel uncomfortable or upset. if you make any kind of mess, clean it up. if the locker room has bathroom stalls attached, don’t hog them - always be aware of how much time you’re spending in there or in front of the mirror and whether there’s anyone standing around who needs to get into a stall or use a sink. and if you use perfume or body spray or any other kind of aerosol, for the love of god and asthmatics everywhere, don’t use too much of it—not to call anyone out but you young dudes out there who are just beginning your manly love affair with AXE body spray need to be especially on notice over this. when i was in middle school boys used so much AXE that you could see the waves of it drifting out of their locker room and making its way across the gym. i know y'all want to smell good but that shit can choke people out, i promise you that you don’t need to use quite THAT much in order to smell nice.

🍀 stand up to bullying and body shaming when you see it happen. if you see something, say something. if another student is being bullied in the locker room, stand up for them. sometimes the only thing it takes for a bully to stop is for other people to tell them to shut the fuck up and make it clear that their behavior isn’t acceptable. reach out to classmates of yours who you see being bullied and body shamed even when you don’t know them. you don’t have to be friends with someone in order to understand that they deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. defend people who are being attacked and taken advantage of and make sure they know that they deserve better.

💖 💖 if i missed anything please feel free to add on to this list!!! 💖 💖

there's a new app or something
  • Girl: Did you get the new app?
  • Boy: What app?
  • Girl: The new app, stupid.
  • Boy: What does it do?
  • Girl: It's new! Check it out. *fires up app*
  • New App: *in a fresh and cool voice* Welcome to the new app.
  • Boy: I still don't understand what it does.
  • Girl: You can press this button here and it checks for the latest version of the new app. Watch. *boop*
  • New App: Boop received. There are ZERO new updates.
  • Girl: Isn't it cool?
  • Boy: I'm really not into it.
  • Girl: C'mon. You have to be. Everyone's using it.
  • Boy: I'm not really into the same things everyone else is.
  • Girl: You're always such a hispter, but that's your choice.
  • Boy: Yeah, it's my choice and I'm proud of it.
  • *later, elsewhere*
  • Group of People: Wow, the new app rules, right? I love it. I like booping it to see if there's any new updates. We should all boop it now. No, I think we should wait. You're stupid. Yeah, let's all boop it forget the other guy. *boopboopboopboopboopboop*
  • New App: Bbbooooppppp rreeecciiieeeevvvveeedddd. Ooonneeeeee nnnnnneewwww uuuuppppdddaaaattttteeeeeee aaaaavvvvvvvaaaillllllabbbbbl-
  • Boy: *watching from afar* What a bunch of sheep. How can they get excited over a stupid app that does nothing. It's mob mentality if I've ever seen it. One person downloads a useless app, so everyone else has to. Thank god that I'm appless and entirely free from banal social dogma.
  • New App: New update has finished downloading. Activating new feature, outcast locater. One outcast located directly to the south of your group. He's watching from the alleyway.
  • Boy: Huh?
  • Group of People: *rush over the alleyway* Whoa, there really was a guy watching us from the alleyway! What a weirdo! Does he really not have the app? No one doesn't have the app, it's the newest app. Hey, do you not have the app?
  • Boy: I have to go.
  • Group of People: Don't go! Why don't you have the app? Actually, fuck off if you don't have the new app, freak!
  • Boy: *runs away* Why did they all gang up on me like? *stomach growls* Now I'm hungry after running like that. I best go to that sandwich shop over yonder and eat a... hmmm sandwich.
  • Cashier: Hello, sweetie. What kind of sandwich can I get you today?
  • Boy: Just a bread sandwich. Like, a sandwich with three slices of bread and meats, vegetables, cheeses, or condiments.
  • Cashier: *phone vibrates* Hold on, sweetie. The new app is booping me, there might be a new update.
  • New App: Hey, do you see the kid standing in front of you?
  • Cashier: You mean that very cute boy?
  • New App: Yes, him. He doesn't have the new app.
  • Cashier: What!?
  • New App: It's true.
  • Cashier: You have the new app, don't you?
  • Boy: Well, no.
  • Janitor: *stops mopping the floor* That's kind of weird.
  • Cashier: It's actually very weird.
  • Boy: I don't understand what the big deal is, it's just a dumb app.
  • Cashier: It's not dumb, everyone's using it!
  • Janitor: *locks the doors* It's suspicious that you're not using it, son. Why don't you take a seat and wait here for a moment.
  • Cashier: Yeah, me an my colleague, the janitor, have to talk. Your sandwich will be out in a moment.
  • Boy: *nervously sits*
  • *the janitor and cashier huddle behind the counter and whisper to each other*
  • Boy: *internally* This is ridiculous. Why is this stupid app getting me into so much trouble. I'm not required to download it. It's just an app. So why is everyone getting so aggressive about it.
  • Cops: *knock at the door*
  • Janitor: *lets them in* Welcome officers.
  • Cops: So we hear that someone isn't using the new app, eh?
  • Janitor: Yes officer, he's sitting right over there. He's terrible! TERRIBLE!
  • Cops: Calm down, sir. We'll take care of this. *walks over to the boy, very authoritatively* Hello, son. Now, don't be intimidated just because we're cops and all. We simply want to know why you aren't using the new app.
  • Boy: I don't know, I just don't feel like using it.
  • Cops: But you realize it's the most innovative app to be released in the past decade. It was developed by Darkheart Studios, and you know those Darkhearts always make good stuff.
  • Boy: I just don't get why I have to download it. Like, what's the big deal? All it does is update itself.
  • *cops look at each other puzzled*
  • Cops: *phone vibrates* Oh, looks like the app has something to tell us. Lemme just give it a boop. *boop*
  • New App: Boop received. New has update finished downloading. Activating new feature, extermination of the sacrilegious. Kill the boy, officers. End his miserable life.
  • Cops: Are you telling us to shoot the boy because he hasn't downloaded the app.
  • New App: Not necessarily, but any means of extermination is sufficient.
  • Cops: I don't think we should kill the boy. The new app is great an all, but not worth killing over. In fact, it's getting kind of old. I think we should take the boy down to the station for safe keeping while we figure out what's going with this here bizarre app. Hey there, little guy... oh.
  • Boy: *gone*
  • Cops: He's gone. Now where did he run off too?
  • Boy: *runs panicked down the street, the cellphone of every single person vibrating and ringing as he passes them*
  • Boy: *runs into his house and locks himself in his bedroom* What did I do to deserve this? I should just download the app and spare myself this hell. No! I refuse, I won't fall in with trends like all the sheeple. I'm special. I'm different.
  • Sister: *knocks at the boy's bedroom door, clutching a knife behind her back* Little brother, open up. I have to talk to you about something. It's important.
  • Boy: I don't feel like talking, leave me alone.
  • Sister: Come on, I'm your sister. You can trust me, open up. *tries to force the door open* Open the fucking door!
  • Boy: You're acting crazy, leave me alone!
  • Sister: Fine. *stomps off*
  • Boy: *hides under his blankets*
  • *a cacophony of cellphone notification sounds come from outside of the bedroom window*
  • Boy: *sheepishly peaks out the window, his blanket still wrapped around him*
  • *a mob of people, some armed with weapons stand in his backyard*
  • Leader of the Mob: Kid, we all know you didn't download the new app. Unfortunately, the app says we gotta kill you unless you do. I personally think that's unreasonable, but it is the new app after all, and who am I to question it?
  • Boy: Fuck your stupid app! It doesn't even do anything!
  • Leader of the Mob: What a bad attitude. It's the new sensation.
  • Boy: You're sheep!! You're all stupid sheep!! I'm never downloading the stupid fucking app!!
  • Leader of the Mob: Then we have to burn down your house, kid.
  • Boy: My dad is super rich and influential. If you burn down my house, he'll have you guys taken care of.
  • Dad: *from the mob* I actually support them, son. It's disconcerting to me as a father that you don't have the new app when everyone else does. I could support your through anything, but not this.
  • Boy: Wha- dad!? Argh! Just burn the house! I don't care! I'm not afraid to die!! At the end of the day, I'll be a martyr and you'll all still be fucking nobodies!!
  • Leader of the Mob: Whatever ya say, kid. *tosses torch at the house*
  • *the rest of the mob follows and the house quickly goes up in flames*
  • Boy: I guess this is it. This is how I die. All over a dumb app that doesn't do anything but boop.
  • *flames reach the bedroom window*
  • Boy: Oh god, oh god, oh god! I've changed my mind! I don't want to die!! *frantically pulls out his phone as the flames grow and downloads the new app*
  • New App: *boop* Thank you for downloading the new app, boy. Now, you've been forgiven. You may live. Please be sure to boop me to check for updates.
  • Boy: I feel so fucking stupid, but at least I'll live. I just have to get out of here.
  • Boy: *rushes into the hallway, but the flames have engulfed the entire house*
  • *the ceiling collapses, trapping the boy in the hallway and ceiling any exits*
  • Boy: No! Someone help me! *coughs* I'm sorry! Please help! I downloaded the app!
  • Boy: *curls up in fetal position* I don't want to die. Fire fighters will come and save me or something like that, I'm sure of it! I'm so scared! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! It can't end like this!
  • *The End*

        “I can’t go home” the young wolf yelled into the face of a police officer. “Aren’t you listening to me? My brother is missing. And I’m not going home until I find him - so you and I are in a bit of a pickle, aren’t we?”

The Gym Master stepped out od the shower and stood there while two of his slave boys dried him down. He had just finished an intense arm workout and was feeling pumped. And when he felt pumped, he felt horny. He decided he was gonna have a look who was on the bench press so he could fuck their hole while they lifted.

After he was dressed, he walked out onto the gym floor and he knew straight away something was wrong. Someone was here who wasn’t meant to be. His eyes scanned around until they rested on the cause of the problem.

There was a cop in the gym.

The Gym Master watched as the cop attempted to ask questions to the slaves who were lifting. He wasn’t having any success. The slaves were only programmed to respond to their Master so they studiously ignored the cop and just kept on with their workout.

The Gym Master quickly walked over to the cop and introduced himself as the owner.

“Hi.” said the cop. “I’m Lt Jeff Davies. Is there anywhere we can go to talk about some possible missing persons sightings?”

The Gym Master led the cop into his office upstairs. As the cop sat down in the chair, the Master noticed how attractive he was. In his early 30s, he was toned, with a small amount of muscle - Handsome. He would make a fine addition.

The cop started talking about how a few guys in the local area had gone missing with some possible sightings near the gym. The Master listened patiently, a fake look of concern on his face as the cop continued.

“I thought your patrons might know something, but they’re not very…receptive.”

The Master laughed. “It’s a new training programme I’ve got them on. It blocks out any excess distractions and let’s them train in peace.”

The cop lifted an eyebrow. “Really? That sounds pretty interesting. I might be interested in finding out more about that myself. I could always use more dedication for the gym.”

The Gym Master pulled out his phone and tapped a couple of buttons on it before sliding it over to the cop. “This video explains how it works.” he said.

The cop picked up the phone, just as the first flash hit him. He couldn’t look away. He watched as the flashes increased in intensity. He felt his mind start to weaken. He was trapped.

The Gym Master smiled. He had prepared for this eventuality. The programme the cop was now watching was a heavily modified version of the one he used on his slaves. This would keep the cops personality intact but make him completely subservient to his new Master. This way suspicions wouldn’t be raised and the cop would be working for him.

…..

4 months later, the Gym Master opened a message on his phone. It was his cop slave. The message simply read:

‘Case on missing persons has been closed Master. Awaiting further orders’

The Master smiled. His cop slave had done well. After he had enslaves him, the cop had signed on as a member of the gym. The Master had given him 2 instructions: Close down the missing persons case and build muscle. The first had finally happened and looking at the picture the cop slave had just sent him of him forcing, the second was well underway.

The Master replied. 'Well done boy. For your good work, tonight after your workout you may allow yourself to be fucked by me.’

Transcript of Sandra Bland arrest video [8:40-15:25]

FULL VIDEO (new link)

Cop: Ok, Ma’am. You ok?

SB: I’m waitin’ on you. This is your job. I’m waitin’ on you…

Cop: You seem very irritated.

SB: I am. I really am because I feel like what I’m getting a ticket for, I was getting out of your way. You were speeding up, tailing me, so I move over, and you stop me. So, yeah, I am a little irritated, but that doesn’t stop you from giving me a ticket.

Cop: Are you done?

SB: You asked me what was wrong and I told you. So now I’m done, yeah.

Cop: Ok. You mind putting out your cigarette, please?

SB: I’m in my car. Why do I have to put out my cigarette?

Cop: Well you can step on out now.

SB: I don’t have to step out of my car.

Cop: Step out of the car. [Cop opens the car door] Step out.

SB: No, you don’t have the right-

Cop: Step out of the car!

SB: You do not have the right to do that.

Cop: I do have the right. Now, step out or I will remove you.

SB: I refuse to talk to you other than to identify myself-

Cop: Step out or I will remove you.

SB: I am getting removed for a failure to-

Cop: Step out or I will remove you. I’m giving you a lawful order. Get out of the car now or I’m gonna remove you.

SB: I’m calling my-

Cop:[Cop reaches into the car] I’m gonna yank you out of here.

SB: Okay, you gonna yank me out of my car?

Cop: Get out.

SB: Ok. Alright. Let’s do this. Don’t touch me.

Cop: Get out of the car!

SB: Don’t touch me! I’m not under arrest. You don’t have the right to-

Cop: You ARE under arrest.

SB: I’m under arrest for what? For what? For what?

Cop: Get out of the car. Get out of the car! Now!

SB: Why am I being apprehended? Because you’re trying to give me a ticket for a failure-

Cop: I said get out of the car.

SB: Why am I being apprehended? You opened my car door-

Cop: I am gonna drag you outta here.

SB: So you’re threatening to drag me out of my own car?

Cop: Get out of the car!!

SB: And then you-

Cop: [Cop points his taser at her.] I will light you up!!

SB: Wow.

Cop: NOW!!

SB: Wow. [Sandra steps out of the car.]

Cop: Get out of the car!

SB: For a failure to signal, you’re doing all this. You’re doing all this for a failure to signal.

Cop: Get over there. [Cop points her over to the sidewalk, while pointing his taser at her.]

SB: Right. Yeah. Let’s take this to court. [Sandra continues to walk toward the sidewalk.] Let’s do this for a failure to signal. Yep, for a failure to signal. [Sandra is led out of the view of the dashcam video.]

Cop: Get off the phone.

SB: I’m not on the phone. I have a right to record-

Cop: Put your phone down.

SB: This is my property.

Cop: Put your phone down.

SB: Sir?

Cop: Put your phone down. Right now! Put your phone down.

SB: [Sandra puts her phone down on the trunk of her car.] For a fucking failure to signal, my goodness.

Cop: Come over here!

SB: Y’all are interesting. You feelin’ good about this whole thing?

Cop: Stand right here.

SB: You feelin’ good about yourself? For my failure to signal, you feel real good about yourself, don’t you?

Cop: Turn around.

SB: You feel good about yourself, don’t you?

Cop: Turn around. Turn around now. Put your hands-

SB: Why am I being arrested?

Cop: I’m giving you a lawful order. I will tell you-

SB: Why am I being arrested? Why can’t you tell me that part?

Cop: I’m giving you a lawful order. Turn around.

SB: Why will you not tell me what’s going on?

Cop: You are not compliant.

SB: I’m not compliant ‘cause you just pulled me outta my car.

Cop: Turn around!!

SB: Are you fucking kidding me? This is some bullshit.

Cop: Put your hands behind your back.

SB: Cause you know this is straight bullshit, and you full a shit. Full a straight shit. That’s why y’all are some scary fucking cops. South Carolina got all y’all bitch asses scared. That’s all it is. Fucking scared of a female.

Cop: If you would have just listened-

SB: I was tryin’ sign the fucking ticket. Whatever.

Cop: Stop movin’!

SB: Are you fucking serious?

Cop: Stop movin’.

SB: Oh, I can’t wait till we go to court.  OH, I can’t wait! I cannot WAIT ‘till we go to court! I can’t wait. OH, I can’t wait. You want me to sit down now?

Cop: No.

SB: Oh, you gonna throw me to the floor? That’ll make you feel better about yourself?

Cop: Knock it off.

SB: Ah, that’ll make you feel better about yourself? That make you feel real good, won’t it? Fucking ass. Fucking pussy. For a failure to signal, you doin’ all of this. In little ass Prairie View, Texas. My god. They must-

Cop: You were getting a warning, and now you’re going to jail.

SB: For what??

Cop: You can come read right- [Cop leads Sandra back over to the trunk of the car.]

SB: I’m getting a warning for what?

Cop: Stay right here.

SB: You just pointed me over there!

Cop: I said stay right here.

SB: Get your fucking mind right. OH, I swear on my life, y’all some pussies. A pussy ass cop pulls for a fucking signal, you’re takin’ me to jail. What a pussy. What a pussy. What a- you about to break my fucking wrist.

Cop: Stop movin’!

SB: I’m standin’ still! You keep movin’ me, goddamn it!

Cop: Stay right there.

SB: Don’t touch me. Fucking pussy, for a traffic ticket.

Cop: [Goes around the car and closes the front door. Walks back off screen to where Sandra is on the sidewalk.] Come read right over here. [He stands by the trunk of the car and shows her the written warning.] This right here says a warning. YOU started creating a problem. [Cop walks out of shot, toward Sandra.]

SB: You asked me what was wrong!

Cop: Do you have anything in your purse that’s illegal?

SB: Do I look like I have anything on me? This a fuckin’ maxi dress!

Cop: I’m removing  your glasses.

SB: This a maxi dress.

Cop: Come on over here.

SB: Fucking assholes. For a- you about to break my wrist! Can you STOP!? You are mother fuckin’ about to break my wrist! [Sandra makes sounds of pain.] STOOOPP!

Cop: [Sounds of struggle.] Stop! Now! Stop it!

Cop 2: Stop resisting, ma’am.

Cop: If you would stop then I would tell you!

SB: [In pain.] For a fucking traffic  ticket.

Cop: Now stop!

SB: [In pain.] You are such a pussy. You are such a pussy.

Cop 2: No, you are.

Cop: You were yankin’ around.

SB: [In pain.] For a traffic signal.

Cop: You were yankin’ around. When you pull away from me, you’re resisting arrest.

SB: This make you feel real good. This make you feel real good, don’t it? A female for a  traffic signal. For a traffic signal. I know that makes you feel good, officer.

Cop 2: I got her. I got her.

SB: I know it make you feel real good. You a real man now. You slam me, knock my head into the ground, I got epilepsy, you mother fucker.

Cop: Good. Good.

SB: I hope I-

Cop 2: You should have thought of that before you start resisting!

SB: Yeah, this is real good. Real good for a female. Yeah. Y’all strong, ooh. Y’all real strong.

Cop: I want you to wait right here. Wait right here.

SB: I can’t go nowhere with your fucking knee on my back. Duh.

Cop: [To Cop 2] I’m gonna open your door. [To man recording the brutality.] You need to leave. You need to leave. You need to leave.

SB: [inaudible] For a fucking traffic ticket.

Cop: For a warning. For a warning. You’re going to jail for resisting arrest. Stand up.

SB: If I could!

Cop: Roll over.

SB: I can’t even fuckin’ feel my arm!

Cop: Tuck your knee in.

SB: I can’t-

Cop: Listen, listen, you’re gonna sit up on your butt.

SB: You just slammed my head into the ground. Do you not even care about that?

Cop 2: He’s telling you to getup.

SB: I can’t even hear!

Cop 2: Yes you can.

Cop: Sit on your butt.

SB: You slammed my head into the ground.

Cop: Sit up on your butt.

SB: He threw my fucking head to the ground. What the hell?

Cop: Now stand up.

SB: All this for a traffic signal. I swear to god. All of this for a traffic signal. [To witness.] Thank you for recording! Thank you! For a traffic signal. Slammed me into the ground and everything. Everything. I hope y’all feel good.

anonymous asked:

#70 from the abo list with Burr, if you're still doing these?💙❤️

70 - “I got into some trouble today. I sort of punched an Alpha in the face when he touched me. Long story short, there’s a couple of officers at the door who would like to talk to you about getting control of your omega.”


“Hey, are you gonna be home soon?” You huffed, speaking into the phone. 

“Um, yeah.” He said, a long pause between the two of you. He straightened up from where he sat behind his desk. “Is everything okay? Do you need me home?”

“Well, um,” You cleared your throat as you rubbed your forehead. “I got into some trouble today.”

“What kind of trouble, honey?” Aaron whispered, no longer caring about the work on his desk. “Are you hurt?”

“No. The opposite really. I sort of punched an alpha in the face when he touched me,” You let out a sigh. “Long story short, there’s a couple of officers at the door who would like to talk to you about getting control of your omega.”

“Give them the phone please, baby.” He said lowly. You bit your lip and walked towards your front door. You unlocked it and slowly opened it. You looked up at the two officers.

“My alpha is on the phone if you’d like to speak to him.” You told them. They looked down at you as if they didn’t believe you. You held up the phone in front of them, softening your tone. “You see, officer, unlike omegas, he isn’t confined to the home. He is at work and he won’t be home anytime soon to control his omega.” You grumbled.

“I get it. I get it.” The taller of the two men quickly snatched your phone from your hand. You waited patiently, watching him as he brought the phone to his ear. He cleared his throat before speaking up. 

“Hello, this is Officer -”

The man shut up almost instantly. You weren’t sure what Aaron was saying, but you were sure it was enough to keep the officer quiet. You wondered if Aaron was yelling. He was generally a quiet guy, but when he was angry -

You leaned in the doorway and watched as the alpha’s demeanor changed completely. Whatever Aaron was saying was enough to make this alpha crumble.

“Y-Yes, sir. I understand.” He choked out, voice strained. “Yes. Not a problem. Yes, sir. Here she is.” 

The alpha cop handed the phone back to you. You looked at him warily, noticing the petrified look in his eyes. His body language changed completely. He was struggling to look you in the eye. His partner was just as confused as you were. You took the phone from him but before you talked to Aaron, he spoke up.

“My sincerest apologies to you and the senator.” He said softly. “We’ll see about bringing the alpha into the station as he was the one who was in violation of your rights.” 

You bit back a smile, holding your phone close to your chest. “Thank you.”

“H-Have a good day, ma’am.” 

You quickly shut your front door, locked it, and brought your phone back to your ear. 

“What did you say?” You asked with a little smile, leaning back against the door. “I don’t think I’ve ever had an alpha apologize to me before.”

“Don’t worry about it, love.” He chuckled. “I’ll be home in an hour, okay? If they come by again, don’t open the door.” 

“Okay. Thanks for saving me.” 

“Perks of dating a politician.” 

“Ah, yes. Now, I remember why I keep you around.” You teased, laughing a little. 

“You’re funny and apparently, you’ve got a killer right hook. You’re everything I wanted in an omega.” He grinned, hearing you laugh a little more. Once your laughter diminished, he whispered. “Hey, I love you, honey.” 

“I love you too. Hurry home.”

“I will. Don’t worry.” 

You hung up with a little smile, leaning back against the door. Moments like these, you were thankful for Aaron.

Trump Survival Tips No. 8: Black Bloc, Part 2

I’m assuming you’re reading this immediately after reading Tip 7, so we’ll jump right in. You know what a black bloc is and why it’s important. So, how do you bloc? Pretty simple. We’ll go top to bottom.

Your face should, of course, be covered. Bandannas, black scarves, balaclavas, or a wrapped T-shirt can provide effective masks. Your mask should cover your face fully, be breathable and comfortable, not come off when you move around, and be quick to don; practicing masking up at home is definitely something you should do. Your hair should also be covered. Wear a hood or hat.

Avoid wearing clothes with visible labels, patches, or other designs; they’ll make you stand out, and provide a convenient target for police to settle crosshairs on. Wear your shirt inside out if you have to. Clothes should fully cover your arms and legs, for physical protection as well as anonymity. A black hoodie and pants should do the trick. Cover your hands as well; cheap knit gloves are more than sufficient, and don’t leave fingerprints. Remember, cover as much skin as you can. Leaving anything exposed endangers racialized peeps, and can also expose identifying tattoos.

Shoes can be tricky, and the most easily-identifiable part of your outfit. Communicate with your affinity group to determine what everyone’s wearing. Personally, I’m usually split between cheap sneakers (Vans or Converse work), and combat boots. Sneakers have the advantage of being common, and therefore make you hard to identify both during and after the bloc, but boots are much more durable for both kicking Nazi teeth and protection against rubber bullets or tear gas canisters. Stay in contact with your affinity group; if you’re all wearing boots, go nuts.

I’d recommend bringing a backpack. Like the rest of your clothing, it should be plain black, without identifying labels, markers, or designs. Being in a black bloc implies that you’re there for direct action, and it’s good to bring stuff along for that; bags can also cover designs on the back of your hoodie. Stuff to bring in said bag includes, but isn’t limited to, a respirator (here’s one for $35, if you’re willing to buy Israeli; no ethical consumption under capitalism, remember), extra masks for someone new to bloc, enough snacks and water to keep you going, a change of clothes and shoes, and whatever supplies you need for your action. If it’s an antifa counter-demo, bring a baton or a cut-down baseball bat; if it’s an anti-capitalist demo, bring spray paint for graffiti and painting over camera lenses; if you’re a street medic, bring a first-aid kit. If you bring your phone, take the battery out; cops can track your phone, and even use the microphone, without you turning it on. This goes for planning as well as during the bloc.

Knowing when to bloc and de-bloc is important as well. Don’t leave your house masked up and don’t leave the demo masked up; either makes it easy to target you. Mask up at the demo, preferably out of sight of police or cameras, under a banner, smoke cover, crowd cover, or as you’re walking in. (Layers are super good for this. Wearing a jacket over your hoodie and carrying your rucksack in a separate bag will do the trick.) Same goes for de-masking; do it somewhere you’re not being watched, or under smoke or crowd cover. Basically, don’t be the only one in or out of bloc. Anonymity at the demo is no good if you’re not anonymous going in and out. Smoke grenades are legal to buy in the US, no restrictions, so it might be worth getting one or two and putting in your bag. Talk to your affinity group.

After the march, be careful as well. Don’t go home alone if you can avoid it, and don’t ever post anything specific on Snitchbook. It’s fine to share photos that someone else took, or to express support, but the last thing you want to do is announce that you were there on Facebook.

Finally, be wary of cops in your bloc. Black bloc’s greatest strength can also be its greatest weakness; it’s relatively easy for undercover cops or journos to be as anonymous as you are in bloc. From there, they can try to entrap folks, try to start violence or make the demo seem like a riot on camera, or even try to snatch someone. Know your folks, and if you think someone’s a cop, make folks aware! Distance yourself from agents provocateurs, and make sure other folks do the same.

Remember folks: when we fight, we win, so know how to fight!

Code Red!

So I wrote this. I’ve been feeling really fucking depressed lately so I wrote this to get out of my own head for a bit. Masterlist

Summary: BuckyAU reader and Bucky are in a jail cell, they don’t like each other but get talking. Then something happens, obviously. 

Warning: Swearing and jail if that triggers anything

Word Count: 1.6K

Originally posted by justcuchu

Well this is a bit shit.

I’m currently in handcuffs that are way too tight and cutting off the circulation to my hands. The feeling in my hands is going as fast as the fat police officer in front of me is eating a doughnut, oh wait no he sandwiched two together that would be as fast as two doughnuts, maybe a new record? (Cliché much?).

Anyway, away from the donuts, I’m being thrown into a jail cell for something that was NOT my fault and have to wait for my bail to be paid. I have no phone, no purse, no nothing. So, long story short, I’m a bit fucked. 

Oh! But don’t worry I’ve been thrown, (literally thrown), in a cell with a dickhead because the jail cells are cramped so I’m stuck with him. I’ve taken the liberty of sitting as far away from him and making no eye contact. For all I know he killed someone, I mean it is extremely unlikely but still, who knows?

‘What you in for doll face?’ He says with a thick American accent. 

Keep reading

muse memes; text message edition part one.
  • [text] Today I asked my mother to buy me smaller condoms by mistake, instead of smaller tampons. If she pitifully looks at your crotch the next time you come over, don’t be confused.
  • [text] You yelled at the kitchen sponge and asked for the Krabby Patty secret formula. I’m pretty sure you were drunk.
  • [text] I just finished watching Alice in Wonderland for the third time in a row. I’m starting it again. I’m eating cocoa puffs. I’m a grown man. If you’re ever feeling down about yourself, just remember that you could be me.
  • [text] It’s been twelve hours and I think I’m officially ready to enter into the slutty stage of the break up phase.
  • [text] The last time I heard someone say ‘YOLO,’ I ended up getting arrested for pole dancing in the middle of a shopping mall. Too soon.
  • [text] On a scale of 1 to I should go prepare a grave for [him/her] in the woods, how’re you handling the break up?
  • [text] So anyway, the moral of that story is that they actually have a tiny jail in malls.
  • [text] I caught him masturbating to the Mario Bros. theme song. I’m marrying him.
  • [text] I just remember a disco ball flashing in the bathroom as I finger-banged a drag queen’s cleavage.
  • [text] You ran around town with nothing but my sister’s barbie doll taped to your junk.
  • [text] FUCK. FUCK. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T USE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH. IT’S NOT SAFE.
  • [text] You know how I sent you that selfie of me peeing on a cop car? Burn your phone. And if the cops stop by your door, I have a twin named Miguel.
  • [text] THE BABY IS CRYING THE MICROWAVE’S ON FIRE AND THE DOG IS DRAGGING HIS NEUTERED BALLS ACROSS THE FLOOR. BABYSITTING IS EASY, THEY SAID.
  • [text] On the plus side I started dissolving vitamins into my morning bottle of whiskey.
  • [text] Please tell me you don’t know why the dean came to me asking why there was blood in our dorm.
  • [text] WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY! THE SKY IS GREEN, THE GRASS IS BLUE, AND THE TRESS ARE JUST BLOWING THROUGH THE LEAVES!
  • [text] You told them the TV just grew wings, unbolted itself from the window and threw itself at the ground, and then started to cry because you believed your own story and thought it committed suicide. I’m pretty sure the police were justified in drug testing you.
  • [text] Hyyypothetically, if you happened to run out of toilet paper and the only other people in the bathroom were the two people having sex in the next stall over, would you act like you didn’t know what was going on and just ask, or politely wait until you heard the chick swallow?
  • [text] I am literally ashamed of what I would do for a Klondike bar.
  • [text] His grandmother ripped off her clothes and started belly dancing. I couldn’t look away. I blacked out and woke up in a fetal position.
  • [text] MY FIRST GAY EXPERIENCE WILL BE DONE RIGHT, DAMMIT. IT WILL BE DRUNK AND MEANINGFUL.
  • [text] I remember my bellybutton getting licked, your toe getting sucked and your ex-boyfriend doing better at deep-throating a banana than both of the gay guys in our class. What happens in the back of the bus stays in the back of the bus.
  • [text] I just caught two people fucking in a bathroom stall. At my church. While there was a sex addicts support group going on. Maybe I’m wrong, but this seems a little counterproductive.
  • [text] She climbed on top of me and made out with me and then yelled at me when I got a hard-on. Bitch, nachos turn me on.
  • [text] If she was stupid enough to believe that you’re a student at Harvard, she deserves what she gets if she dates you.
  • [text] She told me she’d flash me if I tried to be happy. I thought she was joking so I laughed. Best mistake of my life.
  • [text] Don’t worry, if we end up getting chased by a murderer, we’ll just split up. Whoever he runs after, sucks for them. That means you’ve got like, at least a 50% chance of survival if you come camping.
  • [text] She called me a fuck twit today. I’m counting it as progress.
  • [text] The Trojan Horse shoved itself through the city wall, broke open, released a ton of little guys into the city and ruined everyone’s day. Explain to me how Trojan seemed like a good name for a condom brand.
  • [text] If you listened to the voicemail you got from me about how much I love [insert name here] … I totally didn’t mean you. I definitely meant this other person I know.

you guys

you guys

you guys OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

hooo boy

so me and my roommate Charlie are unpacking some stuff in my room and there’s this apartment right under my window right, well we hear this horrific screaming, like we legit thought someone was being assaulted, so we went rigid and got up to call the cops BUT When we get closer to window, we hear this biblical chanting, and then “ARRGGGHHHHHH” and then “AND GOD CAST OUT THE DISEASE OF THE WORLD” and then “IT BURNSSSS” and suddenly it hits me, the realization of what we’re hearing.

And I turn to Charlie and say, “I think…I think it’s an exorcism. I think there’s an exorcism happening downstairs.”

So?!?! We go out on the front balcony, where our neighbor is holding her baby, super mad because all the howling and shrieking woke her baby up. We’re like “?!?!?!??!?!”
And our neighbor is like “I’m callin the fuckin cops.”

So neighbor goes back in to console baby. We run back to my room to listen because my window is literally right above this shit. The door to the exorcism apartment is directly below my window. It’s open and I shit you not, there is a man guarding the doorway with a fucking bible. A woman is inside chanting biblical shit and some other unseen woman is GROWLING AND SHRIEKING OVER AND OVER.

Me and Charlie are stunned, we have never in our lives seen anything like this. My face is pressed so hard into the bug screen attached to my window, the whole fucking bug screen pops loose and it would have landed right on their doorstep, but Charlie literally catches it in mid-air like she’s some kind of super hero.

The screams are visceral, nonstop, and the jesus chanting, and we’re like what do we do now? So like complete IDIOTS, we decide to get closer.

We run out of my apartment, down the stairs, and creep around to the back so we’re like 30 feet away from this fucking apartment. A handful of other neighbors are out here with us and it’s a mixture of WHAT DO WE DO and DID ANYONE CALL THE POLICE and WHAT IF THERE IS ACTUALLY A DEMON THO.

Finally, lady with baby reveals that she hasn’t called the cops yet.

(“ARRGHGHHHH IT BURRRNS” … “God loves you!” … “NOBODY LOVES ME BLEEEAAAAGGHHHH” *more screaming*)

So I call 911. It rings. No one picks up. NO ONE PICKS UP 911?! I call again. It rings. It hangs up on me. What is happening. The call-back emergency option is on, so the cops call me back. I answer and there is no one on the other line. WHAT THE FUCK. Now I have no bars and my phone stops working. I report this to Charlie.

Another neighbor sticks her head out the window and tells us, “Hey my phone isn’t working?”

WHAT THE FUCK, NO ONE’S PHONES ARE WORKING?

Now, I am a reasonable person. Logical. Scientific. Not religious at all. There’s always an explanation, be it scientific, placebo effect, or coincidence.

BUT CLEARLY THE DEMON IS REAL, SO WE ALL START PANICKING BECAUSE OUR PHONES ARE ALL NOT WORKING AND THERE’S A DARK FOREST RIGHT BEHIND THE APARTMENTS AND THIS BITCH IS SCREAMInG AND people fucking chanting about JESUS JESUS GOD LOVES YOU JESUS.

It. Was. Horrible.

Charlie manages to get the cops on the phone and they’re there within like 5 minutes. Suddenly, all is quiet. Very still. The cop spots us and walks over. I open my mouth to say something.

AT THAT VERY MOMENT, A GUTTERAL, HORRIFYING, BELCHING ROAR comes from the exorcism apartment, and you better believe that got the cops attention and he all like “Well fuck yall I'ma go see this shit” (he didn’t say that) and then he’s gone and

We went back upstairs to eavesdrop. We stick our heads out the now-screenless window to watch the cops talking to the bible-death-demon-party. There are heads hanging out windows everywhere, all of us being nosy fuckers (but honestly you can’t imagine how loud and disturbing these sounds were.) There are three bible-people below, two cops (one talking around a wad of chewing tobacco in his cheek), and one very…agitated-looking lady having this very awkward conversation. They’re suddenly super-calm, and the cop with the dip is talking about why it would be a good idea to probably see a therapist instead of an exorcist. And the bible people are just nodding supportively, as if they weren’t all shrieking about hellfire 3 minutes ago. And the cops just leave and the bible chanters leave and the possibly-possessed woman is just chilling outside with a cigarette.

uhhhhhhhh

idk? what the fuck? just happened? But I just witnessed my first exorcism and I even believed in demons for a microsecond, so I’d say this has washed out to be a fucking awesome night.

Fandom: Haikyuu!! 

Pairing: Kyouhaba

A/N: For @kyouhabaweek Day 6 - long distance // travel (combo of both, I guess?)

(NOTE: this entire fic is in text message format. Bold is Yahaba and Normal is Kyoutani.) 


(10:31): dis is so stupid

(10:33): what?

(10:34): i miss u already

(10:36): ………

(10:37): you left 48 minutes ago

Keep reading

Surprise Visit

Y/N sighed as she filled out another paper. 499 left to go…. She was working in her office, which was pretty small but at least it was secluded from everyone. A knock on the door startled her and made her scratch a line down her paper. Her heart was pounding. Was it her boss? Who could it be? With shaky hands she turned the doorknob and stepped back, only to find a shady looking man there. He had foundation on his face and hands, and his hair was a dark, obviously just dyed, brown. Before she could slam the door in his face, his hand caught it and pushed it open with ease.

“I know you don’t like me being here, so I went through so much work-” Y/N rolled her eyes.”-Just to come visit my girl.”

“Maybe if you weren’t a danger to society- Put that down!” He had grabbed a snow globe and started shaking it, and while it looked harmless she knew he had a knack for dropping things after he’s done with them. She was right, he tossed it over his shoulder and moved on to the next thing that caught his eye. Y/N made a football dive to catch it, and angrily huffed as she put it back. J picked everything up and made sure to not put it back in it’s place. This is what she dreaded, him coming to her work after her complaining how boring it is. At least he took the time to disguise himself, though. He grabbed her computer and pouted when he saw it was locked. Y/N grabbed it and yanked it away from him.

“Password protected, stay in your lane. Can you leave? I have work to do.”

“What do you think I came here to help you with?” She tried not to roll her eyes. Knowing him, he would fill in wacky information just to make himself laugh.

“No, leave.” He growled and gestured towards his lap. He’s been trying to make her more submissive lately, but unfortunately for him she never takes anything he says seriously.

“Leave. I’ll call the cops.” J scoffed. The phone rang, and before Y/N could stop him, J answered.

“Y/N’s residence.” He  put a hand on her chest, keeping her away from him.

“No, she’ll be leaving shortly.” Y/N felt her heart stop. He’s been telling her to quit her job for months.

“No, thank you.” He said it seductively and Y/N groaned. When he hung up, he caught her fist before she could hit him.

“You jerk!” He started laughing, and she covered his mouth. Everyone knew who that laugh belonged to, she didn’t want the SWAT team bursting in her office.

………………

J sat down- finally- and started singing when he realized she wasn’t paying him any attention.

“J I swear I will publish your address to every source I know if you don’t shut up.”

He laughed his weird laugh and started wiggling on the couch.

“Will you move in with me?”

“No.”

J growled and walked over to her. She didn’t look up, so he pushed her chair back and sat on her lap.

“Why not? And quit this job. You can work for me.”

“I’m not killing anyone.”

“You don’t have to. You can be my… assistant? My receptionist.”

“No.”

……………

Y/N tried to get back to work but J kept pacing. He got bored and restless easily, so she knew he was suffering. She took the papers away when he tried to fill them out, because she gave him a chance and he ended up doing exactly what she knew he would do. She hoped her boss wouldn’t come in, because now she had a grown man napping in her lap. It was an endearing sight no matter how annoying he was. His head was laying on her chest and she rested her chin on top of it. She noticed he did a crap job of covering his finger tattoos with the foundation. It almost made her tear up thinking about what made this man the way he is. He stirred as she placed a kiss on his head. Deciding she could no longer feel her legs, she smacked his butt. This woke him up instantly and he turned around and straddled her lap, his hand wrapped around her neck. She gave a nervous little laugh as he gave his.

“Uh, my legs are numb.”

………………..

J was currently pouting in the corner because she wouldn’t let him answer any more phone calls. He slammed himself down on the couch, and Y/N rolled her eyes as some things fell off her desk. She gave him a chance.

“Y/N’s residence. She cannot come to the phone right now, she is currently suffering on the toilet. Too much Taco Bell” She’s never wanted to kill someone that bad in her life.

Who is this? Oh, this is Jo… Last name? …Ker.”  Y/N smacked him on the back of the head and hung up the phone.

Do I work here? No… Why am I in Y/N’s office? I’m…. related yes. She’s my brother.”

“Do you think birds have penises?” Y/N tried to start conversation when she realized she really upset him. He didn’t answer, of course.

“Have you ever seen a goose penis? Disgusting.”

“Quit your job.”

“I will as soon as you quit yours. You know only 3 percent of birds have a penis? That’s interesting. I bet you wouldn’t have a penis if you were a bird.”

“You have over 50 complaints.” Y/N’s head snapped up.

“What?”

“Over 50 people complained that you were, immature, rude, creepy, embryonic? Ha, that’s a new one.”

“Oh my god, J, you’re going to get me fired.”

“Which is why you should quit.” Y/N actually considered it for a moment.

“If I quit, you have to let me have complete freedom.”

“No.”

“Alright, fine, I quit.” Y/N stood up and grabbed her coat. J wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Aw, doll. It’s cute that you think you had a choice.”

When they walked out of her office, she found her colleagues’ bodies at their desks. They were all shot and she saw J’s henchmen guarding the place. Y/N covered her mouth when she saw her boss’ body pinned to a board with knives. ‘Happy Early Retirement!’ was carved into his chest.

“Do you like it, baby?” Y/N fainted, and Jo Ker laughed as he carried her home.

Audrey Jensen x Reader:  Who Told?

Originally posted by bexweallbex

Request: Could you write a scream imagine with Audrey where she has a crush on a female reader and is super shy to talk to the reader so Noah helps her out by giving her a pep talk then saying “what could go wrong?” Or something like that, that makes Audrey really nervous and Emma slaps Noah on his head and tells Audrey to ignore him and reassures her that the reader will say yes because she over heard the reader talking about Audrey?

A/N: Okay so the request was realy cute and I tried to make this fluffy. I hope you all like it. 



Audrey didn’t like letting a lot of people into her life. That was just how she was. She mostly only talked to Noah and Rachel. So when she was paired up with you for a project, the last thing that she expected was to actually enjoy working with you or wanting to spend more time with you. You and her ended up friends, not on the same level as she was with Noah, but friends. And then the murders started happening. 

She was with Emma and Noah when Emma got a video sent to her, of you walking home from a friend’s house. Audrey dialed your number while Emma called the cops. You answered your phone just before the killer began chasing you. Audrey saving your life, and her being with you when you were running for your life kinda bonded the two of you to actual friends. Even when the Lakewood Murders were solved, it was obvious that you and Audrey were real friends, and that it wasn’t going to change.

Until it started to change.

Until Audrey got way more nervous around you than friends should.

And just wanted to punch the people that would flirt with you at the parties you went to together. She wanted to really beat them up whenever she realized that their flirting had worked. But Audrey just shook off of all of those feelings. It was easier than usual, considering everyone anticipated that a traumatized teenager would act different than usual. 

But after a few months had passed, Noah had started to get back to his old detective self. And he paid attention when he noticed that Audrey would get really stiff around you. Or how she would send you glances and small smiles. He figured it was either one of two things: Audrey had a crush on you, or you and Audrey were already dating. And Noah knew that you would have been showing a lot more PDA if you were in a relationship. 

It took him a while to get Audrey to admit it, but right after she did Noah began plans on how she would confess to you. It had been a month since he had found out about her crush on you, and Audrey was getting sick of needing to tell him that she wasn’t going to admit her crush to you. 


“Come on Brooke. What’s messing with you?” you asked. 

Brooke laid on Emma’s bed and shook her head. “Nothing.” she glanced at you and sighed at the look you sent her. “Tell me who you have a crush on, and I’ll confess my woes." 

"I don’t like anyone.” you shook your head, ignoring the warmth in your cheeks. 

Brooke smirked. “You’re wearing the necklace that I gave you for your thirteenth birthday. You only wear that when you’re trying to impress somebody, or when you’re applying for a job. And I know you haven’t applied for a job recently." 

You sighed and looked down before glancing up at her. "Promise me under no circumstances that you won’t tell her.”

“Promise." 

You bit your lip and stared at the floor for a moment. "Audrey." 

Brooke’s eyes widened. "Seriously?”

“What?” you said. “We’ve gotten really close after everything that happened. She was the one I vented to and… I got know her." 

Brooke smiled at you. "Well I think you and her would make a cute couple." 

"Thanks Brooke.” you smiled. “Now vent about Jake." 

Brooke let out a small laugh before she began complaining about her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Emma smiled as she stood outside her bedroom. She went to go get water, and you confess your feelings for Audrey. The blonde shook her head to herself before she walked inside. 


Audrey walked into Emma’s house, and Noah following behind her. "Thanks again guys.” Emma smiled as they sat down at the table. The two had agreed

to help Emma catch up in science.
“No problem Em.” Audrey responded before she and Noah grabbed their science notebooks. “So Unit 1 covered…" 


"Thanks guys.” Emma smiled after a few hours, cutting Noah off. “But I really don’t think that I can listen to you guys say one more science thing right now." 

Audrey smiled. "Wait until you have to listen to one of Mr. Richard’s lectures." 

"Well… Catch me up on what else I missed while I was gone.” Emma smiled. 

“Like what? English, histor-" 

"I meant what happened to you guys. Something had to happen to somebody in the last three months.” Emma cut him off. 

“Audrey’s crush.” Noah said between fake coughs. 

Audrey’s eyes widened, and she hit him with her elbow. Emma smiled, and she leaned forward on the table. “Who do you like?" 

"No one.” “Y/N.” Audrey and Noah said simultaneously. 

“Seriously Noah?” Audrey glared. 

“It’ll be easier to get you to tell Y/N if more people are trying to get you to make a move.” Noah shrugged. 

Audrey rolled her eyes. “Well I am not telling Y/N. I’m not going to mess with our friendship like that." 

"Oh come on Audrey!” Noah shrugged. “What could go wrong? She says no?" 

Emma and Audrey furrowed their eyebrows at Noah. The blonde lightly hit his head from across the table with her hand. "Seriously? That’s the last thing you say to someone who has a crush.” Emma said. 

“Well it’s true.” Noah defended. 

“Very motivational.” Audrey said while rolling her eyes. 

“I can see why he hasn’t been able to convince you to tell Y/N.”

Emma commented. Noah put his hands up and looked at the two girls confused.

“But trust me Audrey. You should tell Y/N about your feelings." 

"Oh really and why’s that?” Audrey asked with a raised eyebrow.  

Emma sighed. “Let’s just say I know for a fact your feelings are not one sided." 

Audrey’s eyes widened, and she leaned forward on the table. "What do you mean?" 

"Yeah please elaborate.” Noah commented. 

The blonde rolled her eyes. “I may or may not have heard Y/N say that she liked you." 

A smile spread across Audrey’s face. "Seriously?" 

Emma nodded, and Noah nudged Audrey’s arm with his own. "I told you so.” he teased. 

“Shut up.” Audrey said halfheartedly. 

“Tell Y/N tomorrow.” Emma encouraged.  

“Fine. Fine.” Audrey complied with a sigh. “You two are unbearable you know?" 

"Yeah I’ve known that for a while.” Noah said. 

Emma smiled with a nod. “I’ll get used to it." 


You sat down at one of the tables in the courtyard. You were going through your phone, waiting for the bell to ring when you heard someone say your name. You glanced up and smiled when you saw that it was Audrey. "Hey.” you smiled. "What are you doing here so early?” you teased as she sat down next to you.

“I just ended up earlier.” Audrey lied. She actually wanted to make sure she had enough time to talk to you alone. 

“Are you alright?” you asked. “You look a little freaked.” Your eyes widened. “Is that prank still messing with you?" 

Audrey shook her head. "No the prank’s not messing with me.” She took a deep breath. “There was actually something that I wanted to talk to you about." 

You furrowed your eyebrows. "Okay what is it?" 

"Ummmm….” Audrey trailed off. She wasn’t sure how to start off. 

“Are you sure everything’s alri-" 

"Do you like anybody?” Audrey asked. 

Your eyes widened, and you pressed your lips together. You were coming up with five thousand different ways to get back at Brooke later.

“Yeah… Why?" 

Audrey nodded before she took a deep breath. She wanted to get straight to the point. "I like this girl.” Audrey forced out, scolding herself because that was not straight to the point. “And I want to know how to tell her." 

"Well…” you dragged out, avoiding eye contact because that hurt a lot more than you thought it would. “The only thing I can say is get her alone and have a heart to heart with her." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah.” you nodded. “Just get out there and see how she responds." 

Audrey let out a breath. "Thanks Y/N." 

"No problem.” you lied with a smile. “I hope it turns out great." 

Audrey nodded, and a silence fell over the two of you. She took a deep breath and turned towards you. "Y/N?" 

"Yeah?” you said with raised eyebrows. 

“I…” she sighed. Even if Emma told her that you liked her back, it was hard to tell you after keeping it a secret for so long. “I like you. I like you a lot." 

Your eyes widened and a smile spread across your face. "I uh…” you laughed. “I like you too Audrey." 

Audrey smiled back. "Do you want to go out Friday?" 

"Yeah that sounds good.” you said with a bright smile across your face. 

Audrey stared at you with a small smile on her face, making you glance up. “What?” Audrey leaned closer to you and softly pressed her lips to yours. You sighed against her, and Audrey pressed a hand on the back of your head, pulling you closer. 

“Get a room you two.” Brooke teased as she walked towards the table.

You pulled away from Audrey with a goofy smile on your face. "You’re a great secret keeper by the way.“ you turned to Brooke with a fake glare. 

"I didn’t say anything.” Brooke said with her arms up. 

“Oh yeah right." 

Audrey smiled. "Brooke actually isn’t the one who told me that you liked me." 

"Who was it then?” you asked. “She’s the only one I told!" 

Emma sat down at the table. "What’s up?" 

"I’m trying to figure out who told Audrey that I liked her.” you said. 

Emma let out a laugh. “I overheard you tell Brooke. And then Noah told her to tell you about her feelings  soooo" 

"I would be mad if it hadn’t worked.” you told her as you glanced at Audrey. 

Emma let out a laugh before more people sat down at the table. 

Audrey glanced at you and lightly grabbed your hand. She didn’t let a lot of people into her life. 

But she was glad that you were one of the few she did.